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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23658994">Road of Recovery</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_seaof_wonders/pseuds/a_seaof_wonders'>a_seaof_wonders</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Just Hold Still [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Onward (2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A Bit Not Good, Angst, Dubious Consent, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Going to Hell, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:21:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>108,488</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23658994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_seaof_wonders/pseuds/a_seaof_wonders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>*insert a very well written summary here* </p><p>Or, Ian finds the road  to recovery is a long one. And it gets increasingly rough along the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barley Lightfoot/Ian Lightfoot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Just Hold Still [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905238</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>178</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>201</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Oh you thought I was finished here? Well so did I. But I’ve done some soul searching and come to the conclusion that a Barley is such a soft boi that he needs redemption cuz he’s one of my fave Disney/Pixar characters. Like 12/10. But also because I’m on of those people that has to let their creative mind flow or it drives me crazy. </p><p>I also got waayyy more positive feed back then I was expecting on my previous work (if you’re new here just know it might make more sense to read that but I understand if it’s too intense and this is pretty explanatory) but thank you all so much for that &lt;3</p><p>Anywho, it’s not like anyone can be redeemed for such things but this is a story of two brothers mending their very broken relationship. But mostly Ian trying to heal and move on and the obstacles that are thrown at him along the way like *spoiler alert* his brother returning home after two whole years (roughly) </p><p>And also I tried to incorporate elf holidays because I felt that’d be more realistic than them celebrating Christmas cuz that means there’s like an elf Jesus or something? I’m still researching the topic of Winterfest bits basically an elf version of Christmas. If you know more about the topic please inform me!</p><p>As always, please be careful. I don’t plan on any noncon happening in this fic but there is mentions of it so please heed the warnings &lt;3</p><p>And without further ado, I present to you my trash brain’s creation. Please enjoy (:</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>**Edit**</p>
<p>So just coming back and making sure it’s said here at the beginning, especially if you’re new here. </p>
<p>This story may be hard to read for some. Don’t take the tags lightly and please be safe. </p>
<p>You are under no obligation to continue reading if at any point you get uncomfortable (it kills me that I even have to say that,)</p>
<p>That being said, I hope that you do find this story to be interesting and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it </p>
<p>Please enjoy chapter 1 :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things had been quiet to say the least. Barley had been gone for almost two years. He stayed in touch for the most part. He’d call on holidays and birthdays but there was always a reason why he couldn’t come home. Apparently he had dropped out and began working as a mechanic a few towns over. He always claimed that he was too busy working in the shop when their mother would try to push him to visit. </p>
<p>Laurel had been upset that he hadn’t been home for so long. All those years of pushing her older son out of house was starting to catch up to her. And now she felt as if she’d never get him home. But Ian always reassured her that Barley was just growing up and it was a good thing that he was on his own. </p>
<p>In all honesty it brought the small elf comfort knowing he didn’t have to feel afraid in his home. At first he was torn between missing the older elf and feeling relieved that he was gone. But for the first time in a long time Ian felt like he could breathe again. </p>
<p>Some days were still hard. He found himself slipping back into the cracks at school. His desires of being more bold and outspoken all but dissipated. It was easier just to stay in the shadows and go about his days quietly. Mostly because he didn’t want to bring anyone down with the looming sadness he brought with him. </p>
<p>Other days he could almost enjoy himself. He could almost feel good about things he was accomplishing in school like his math awards, or the chess club. And thoughts of graduating in the spring almost made him feel hopeful. Like maybe he had a future after all. </p>
<p>But there were days when he has nothing to do that he find himself in his bed with absolutely no energy because he’s just so tired. Because acting like he’s okay all the time is so exhausting and there’s literally no one he can talk to to try and lift the weight that he carries daily. </p>
<p>Then there were nights. And nights could be so hard. Especially when he’s alone in his room and absolutely just cannot will himself to sleep. When the memories flash behind his eyes and he can almost feel hands on himself again.  </p>
<p>There were nights where nightmares woke him in a cold sweat. He’d sit up, panting and running his hands through his hair to try and ground himself. He’d tell himself over and over that it wasn’t real and that he’s was safe. But, he’d never manage to go back to sleep. </p>
<p>But he’s doing better. And since his mom and Colt split a few months back it had been just the two of them. And he enjoyed spending time with his mother. Their time together was something he looked forward to, whether it was preparing meals together or taking Blazey for a walk after they had each had a long day. Her presence could be so comforting and it made him feel less alone.</p>
<p>Even though Laurel really misses Barley, and she talks about him constantly. It’s worse when she’s on the phone with him and encourages Ian to say hi to him. </p>
<p>Sometimes she’ll leave the room for a moment while her eldest is on speaker. “Watch the phone,” she says. And Ian can’t for the life of him find words to say and Barley doesn’t push him to talk. So they sit in an uneasy silence until Laurel returns, oblivious to the tense atmosphere, and continues with the phone call. </p>
<p>He learned over time to avoid those phone calls all together. Hearing his brother’s voice just made him feel like he was suffocating sometimes. </p>
<p>“It really bothers me that you’re brother isn’t coming home for Winterfest,” Laurel said as she put away another dish. They had been cleaning up after dinner. </p>
<p>Winterfest is a holiday celebrated by elves at the beginning of the winter solstice. It begins on the first days of Yeartide, a day dedicated to celebrating the death of Autumn and the purification of the earth. Winterfest lasts for twelve days. Elves celebrate the joyful time by giving gifts and throwing various parties and gatherings. It’s a time of togetherness. But it was just Ian and his mom last year. And it appeared it’d be that way this year too. </p>
<p>“I’m sure he’d be here if he could,” Ian assured as he wiped a plate dry with a dishtowel. </p>
<p>“I know. It’s just that Winterfest is his favorite and we didn’t spend it together last year,” she said sadly. “I was really hoping to have both my boys together again before you graduate and head off to college.” </p>
<p>Ian gave a halfhearted smile, “baby birds gotta leave the nest, mom.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know,” she said as she gave his arm a soft squeeze. Once they were finished cleaning up, Ian had excused himself to his room. </p>
<p>It had been a long day, it always is. Once his door was shut he let out a deep sigh. The young elf moved to sit at his desk. He really needed to work on his homework but he found himself looking ahead at the cork board full of photos and ribbons instead. His eyes wandered, looking at the moments captured so long ago. </p>
<p>His eyes landed upon an old photo of him and Barley. They had been so small, and so close. There was a pang in his heart as he recalled all the happy times they shared. </p>
<p>He really did miss his brother. But clearly it was better that he wasn’t home anymore. Things just happened when they were together. It was easier when it was just touching, because it didn’t hurt at all and sometimes Ian could enjoy it. Even though it made him feel ashamed and dirty, Barley was always so soothing and reassuring. </p>
<p>But when things started escalating and Barley started getting rougher Ian began to realize just what the older elf was capable of and it scared him. It scared him to no end. </p>
<p>So it was better that he was gone. Even though it meant that they would probably never have the relationship that they used to. </p>
<p>It’s my fault, he thought. He had always been so clingy with his brother when he was little. He always needed to be reassured with hugs and cuddles and Barley would always oblige. He should have put more distance between them. Then maybe Barley wouldn’t have done the things that he had. </p>
<p>He felt tears start to brim. He really should take these photos down. They hurt too much to look at. He could sit there for hours and reminisce but he knew if he didn’t start trying to sleep he’d never be able to, homework be damned. </p>
<p>So the elf stood, moving towards his dresser to pull out a pair of sweats to change into. Afterwords he crawled under his covers. </p>
<p>He kept his light on at night now. The soft glow of his lamp illuminating his room brought him comfort. </p>
<p>All the bad stuff happened in the dark, he thought. His throat hurt from holding back his tears as he snuggled into his mattress, closing his eyes as a tear escaped. </p>
<p>Suddenly, his phone had chimed, indicating he had received a text message. No one ever texts him, so he was surprised as he sat up, grabbing his phone from his nightstand and wiping his cheek. Hesitantly, he checked it. </p>
<p>*Sadalia: Hey Ian! Hope I’m not bothering you. Just wanted let you know we’re having a party to celebrate Winterfest this weekend. We’d really like to see you there! </p>
<p>Ian felt another wave of sadness hit him. He really missed his friends. They still sat together at lunch sometimes. But he never saw them outside of school anymore. And this wasn’t the first time any of them had tried to reach out. </p>
<p>Going to a party was the last thing he needed. He couldn’t handle crowds very well. They were suffocating and noisy. All things that sent him into a state of overstimulation. But it had been so long since they all hung out and he knew he’d upset them if he declined. </p>
<p> It would be really nice to get out the house, he thought. And he doesn’t have to stay the whole time. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to make an appearance for the sake of his friends. </p>
<p>Before he could talk himself out of it, he accepted his invite. Telling her he’d meet them there and asked her to send more details. He can always come home if he gets uncomfortable, and he sure they’d understand. </p>
<p>He almost felt proud of himself. And for the first time in a while he actually felt a little burst of excitement. Sadalia’s happy reply gave him more reassurance as he quelled the nerves in his belly. </p>
<p>This was going to be good for him, he decided. On that note, he slid back under his covers. </p>
<p>Sleep came pretty easy that night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So these first few chapters will probably come quickly since I’ve been working on them for a hot minute. Other than that expect weekly updates. </p><p>This chapter is long and I hope I did a good job with it. I’m not super confident describing events and I just hope it transitioned well. </p><p>Also addressing Ian’s friend group, I could not for the life of me find their names so I just sort of named them?? I’m pretty sure it’s established that Sadalia is the elf, I saw somewhere the fawn is named Althea?? If you have anymore information on that please let me know and I’ll make the appropriate changes. For now I named the troll Merek and the cyclops (who is written as nonbinary in this fic so they/them pronouns) is Terrowin or Terri for short. </p><p>There is underage drinking in this chapter and like a little bit of non consensual touching but nothing too heavy. </p><p>As always, feedback is always welcome. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The weekend had rolled around fairly quickly. He’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t nervous. But this could be good for him. Time with his friends, time out of the house. </p><p>It did take some convincing to get his mother on board, however. She wasn’t exactly excited he’d be gone the first day of Winterfest and convincing her otherwise was a little challenging. </p><p>“I just don’t want you getting crazy and drinking it up with your classmates,” Laurel said as she rolled up her yoga mat. She had just finished her morning workout when Ian had asked her about it. </p><p>“It’s not that kind of party,” he said with a chuckled. </p><p>“Well just promise me that if it is that kind of party that you call me if you need help getting home and that you’ll be careful,” she said walking toward him to put a gentle hand on his shoulder, “and you better spend the rest of Winterfest here at home, young man,” she finished, moving to put her exercise equipment away. He rolled his eyes playfully and agreed. So this was actually happening. </p><p>Althea agreed to pick him up. Although he had his license, his mother didn’t want him taking the car. Stating that she’d come get him if he needed her to because she didn’t want to risk him driving. </p><p>Knowing it’s better not to argue with her, Ian texted the fawn and she was happy to pick him up. </p><p>*Althea: I’ll be there in 5!! :)</p><p>So Ian took one more look in the mirror. He was clad in a dark blue button up, his sleeves rolled down. He wore classic denim skinny jeans that were rolled at the ankle and his red sneakers. Since the weather was getting colder, he pulled on a black zip up jacket. </p><p>He took a deep breath through his nose, this was happening. He felt anxiety building in his stomach. This was his first high school party. Which was pretty lame if you consider the fact that he’s a senior. And it wasn’t even really a high school party, he and his friends were just having a bit of a get together to celebrate the first day of Winterfest.</p><p>Normally, gifts wouldn’t be exchanged today because it’s also Yeartide but he felt he should have gotten his friends something. When he suggested it he was told it wouldn’t be necessary. His presence alone was enough for them and that had filled him with such a sense of warmth. </p><p>He did, however, decide it’d be a good idea to make a checklist of things he should be doing tonight. It always made him feel better to have a list so he grabbed his notebook and flipped to the last page he had written on. </p><p>-Stay Relaxed</p><p>-Be Social</p><p>-Talk to Someone New</p><p>-Don’t Push Yourself</p><p>The last part of his checklist was the most important. He desperately wanted to have a good time tonight, but he knew better than to push past his boundaries. Last time he had done so hadn’t been pretty and he’d like to avoid any unnecessary panic attacks if he could. </p><p>“Honey! Your friend is here!” Laurel called from the bottom of the stairs. Ian took one last breath, summoning all of his courage and closing his notebook. He shoved it into his pocket as he left the room and headed down the stairs. </p><p>Althea was waiting by the door, happily chattering away with his mom. </p><p>“I promise he’s in good hands, Ms. Lightfoot,” she assured. “Oh, Ian! Are you ready to go?” Ian gave a halfhearted smile and nodded, stepping off the final step. </p><p>“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he chuckled nervously. The fawn opened the front door and he followed. </p><p>“Stay in touch! And be careful!” Laurel called from behind him. </p><p>“I will!” Ian promised. He slid into the passenger side of Althea’s car. The bubbly fawn was already going on about how excited she was. </p><p>“Everyone’s already there, we’re so happy you decided to come. I know Winterfest is like an elf thing but Sadalia invited like everybody,” she explained excitedly. Ian swallowed. He knew the rest of the gang would be there, they did everything together. Including celebrating holidays that weren’t traditional their own. But it was starting to sound like this was more than a Winterfest celebration. </p><p>However, it was the first day and although it was also Yeartide, which normally was spent with meditation and celebrating sobriety, with old traditions being lost overtime it wasn’t uncommon for it to also be a day of heavy partying. </p><p>“Sounds like a blast,” Ian said softly. He nervously looked out his window. This was stupid, he was stupid and he shouldn’t have agreed to do this. </p><p>“Hey,” Althea said calmly, “it’s okay to be nervous. I promise we won’t leave your side.” She gave a reassuring smile and he felt a little better. He gave her a nod and a tiny smile in return. </p><p>“And,” she continued, “if you’re really not feeling it, Terri already agreed to be your DD” it was a relief to hear. And not at all surprising that his cyclops friend was the designated driver. They had sworn they’d never lose their sobriety and the rest of the gang respected that. Merek probably wouldn’t be participating either, alcohol wasn’t good for his condition so Ian found comfort in knowing that he wouldn’t be the only one in their group to stay sober tonight if he chose not to drink. </p><p>Finally, they pulled up to Sadalia’s house. Plenty of cars had already been parked in the streets and the house looked packed. </p><p>Ian swallowed as he stepped out of the car. He could hear music thumping and people laughing. Another wave of nervousness hit him but he knew he wasn’t alone. So together, he and Althea walked up to the house. </p><p>When he entered he was immediately overwhelmed with the sounds and the lights that were flashing. Thinking about the conversation with his mother earlier, he decided that this most definitely was that kind of party. </p><p>In one corner, a beer pong table was set up with a group competitive teens in a heated game. A swarm of onlookers cheering them on as a centaur student made his shot. In another, was a keg surrounded by Ian’s peers who were rooting for a cyclops currently doing a keg stand. Others were either grouped together, dancing to the music wildly, or branched off and hanging out against the walls of the house in their own little bubbles. It seemed almost everyone had a red cup in hand, no doubt filled with some type of booze. The air was hot and stuffy, and it felt like there just wasn’t enough space. </p><p>“There they are!” Althea pointed to the doorway of the kitchen where the rest of the gang was casually hanging out. She grabbed Ian’s hands and tugged him through the crowd of fellow students. </p><p>“Ian, you made it!” Merek said, shifting the support of his crutches to look down at the smaller elf. </p><p>“We were wondering if you’d show, Merry Winterfest,” Terrowin smiled. </p><p>“And Happy Yeartide,” Ian finished with a weak chuckle. The music was loud and his nerves were on the brink of being shot. </p><p>He kept thinking this was a mistake. Why did he think he could do this? And suddenly a red cup was shoved into him. </p><p>“You look like you need this,” Sadalia laughed. Ian didn’t have any experience with alcohol. But he really didn’t wanna let his friends down. So, he brought the cup to his lips and drank. The taste of vodka was sour on his tongue but he forced it down anyway. </p><p>“Oh, that’s disgusting,” he said, making a face as he pulled the cup away. His friends laughed, grabbing their own drinks. Whether the punch was spiked with vodka or not, all that matter was that they were having a good time in the presence of each other. </p><p>“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s dance!” Althea said cheerfully. </p><p>“Oh, I-I’m not much of a dancer,” Ian warned as he was tugged along. </p><p>“Just move confidently and no one will ever know the difference,” the fawn giggled. And together they all made their way to the spacious living room where others were already starting to move to loud music that was playing. </p><p>Ian felt his anxiety bubbling beneath his skin. His mind was racing, trying to figure out whether he should just bolt instead. A hip bumped him softly, nudging him a little. He looked over at Sadalia who, in return, gave a smile and he felt a little better. He brought his cup back up to his lips and with the vodka, he swallowed his anxieties and began to move. </p><p>The group made good on their promise. They never left Ian’s side. Although the gang made sure his cup was never empty, and Ian was slowly feeling the buzz of alcohol. </p><p>Still, they danced and laughed. And for once Ian actually felt normal. Maybe it was the mind numbing alcohol running through his veins but he was actually having a good time. </p><p>“I’m so glad I came!” He shouted over the music. The group had moved back to the kitchen, Althea said something about doing shots. Sadalia laughed and handed him a shot glass. </p><p>“I know, we should do this more often,” she called. </p><p>“Yeah, we really miss hanging out with you,” Terrowin agreed. It was almost like a punch in the stomach because Ian knew the only one putting distance between them was him. But he shoved those feelings down and took the shot in his hand. Coughing as he felt the burn of whiskey run down his throat and spread like wild fire through his stomach. His buddies laughed at the grimace he was making but he just laughed with them. </p><p>Things were going really well. Once the night began to wind down a little, Althea had joined a game of beer pong, she tried to get Ian to join too but he turned it down because he didn’t have the coordination to even try at this point. So he and the rest of the crew gladly cheered her on instead. For how sweet she looked, she was one hell of a player. And every time she made her shot Ian and his friends shouted excitedly for her.</p><p>“Way to go ‘Thea!” He slurred as another one of her ping pong balls plopped into a cup. He brought his drink back up to his lips and swigged the honey colored liquid, which he assumed was some sort of light beer. At this point he’d just been taking whatever his friends where giving him. </p><p>Sadalia tugged on his sleeve. He hummed as he looked over at her and she motioned to the right. </p><p>“That girl has been staring at you all night,” she said in his ear. Loudly enough so he could hear over the pounding music, but not so anyone else could. His eyes landed upon another elf, who smiled as their gazes met. She quickly looked over at the back door as if she was signaling him to follow. She seemed to linger for a second before leaving the room. </p><p>“Go talk to her,” the darker skinned elf encouraged with a hand on his back. Ian swallowed, at that point it was the drinks he kept swigging that were keeping him from freaking out. </p><p>“Okay,” he nodded and made his way hastily out of the house, stumbling a little through the crowds of guests that were clumped together. </p><p>Sadalia had a pretty big yard. It was fenced in with fairy lights hanging above, acting as a canopy of light. It illuminated the yard nicely. Down the steps of the porch was a concrete path that spilt the grass. Ian followed it, walking with the soft curve of it until he came across a bench that sat beneath an old oak tree. There, he saw the elf he had made eye contact with earlier. Before he could back out, she turned to look at him. Her green eyes lit up and she smiled. </p><p>“Hey, it’s Ian, right?” She asked. He nodded and she patted the spot beside her. He moved to sit down, keeping a little distance between them. </p><p>“I’m Rivera,” she greeted. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, her bangs framing her face. She wore a soft pink turtleneck sweater that complemented her blue complexion nicely and her light wash jeans hugged her legs perfectly. </p><p>“Oh, I’m Ian,” he slurred, not realizing that they had already established that. She giggled, brushing the hair out of her face. </p><p>“I know,” she laughed, “we actually had history together last year.” She played with the sleeve of her turtleneck bashfully. </p><p>“‘M sorry, I didn’t recognize you,” he admitted. But to be fair, he keeps very much to himself at school. He was surprised she knew him at all. </p><p>“It’s okay, you seem pretty shy,” she smiled. Their eyes met again and he felt warm. Her eyes were like emeralds, and It seemed like he could get lost in them. Her cheeks had a slight blush to them, possibly from alcohol. But they were a tint of purple that Ian was considering to be his new favorite color. </p><p>Feeling the heat, Ian tugged off his jacket and set it beside them. He just felt so warm, and this elf was making his stomach all mushy. </p><p>“Y-you’re very pretty,” he mumbled drunkenly. </p><p>“That’s really sweet,” she said, “you’re not too bad yourself.” And suddenly butterflies were blossoming in his belly. He couldn’t believe this was even happening. Normally girls ignored him. But that could be a fault of his own, he thought. </p><p>And suddenly her lips were on him and his mind went blank, unsure of what to feel. He didn’t want to disappoint her so he hesitantly tried to return the favor. </p><p>He was very inexperienced when it came to kissing, so he knew this had to be sloppy. But his head was so fuzzy that it didn’t matter and she didn’t seem to mind. </p><p>After a while it had felt like he was floating, her lips were soft and her chapstick was sweet. It was worlds different than any kiss he’d had before. There was no stubble scratching him, teeth weren’t scraping roughly against his lips. </p><p>But then her hand was on his thigh, and he felt a cold chill come crashing down. Memories flooded his brain, taking him back to when hands weren’t so welcome. </p><p>He broke away, pushing against her hand, “I don’t think you should-“</p><p>“Shhh, it’s okay, I’ve done it before,” she whispered seductively, “haven’t you?” She moved her hand up farther, playing with the button of his jeans. He began to squirm. He wanted so badly to curl in on himself and just disappear. </p><p>“Um-“ he muttered nervously. He swallowed hard, trying to keep himself together. Yes, he’s done this. So many times he’s been in this position, pinned down beneath heavy weight and whispers in his ear. </p><p>“Just hold still,” she smiled sweetly. But it wasn’t her voice that he heard. And suddenly his breath left him and he felt like he was drowning. </p><p>No, no, that’s not right, he thought. And his body was in panic mode. His stomach flopped and he shoved her hands away. He jumped up from the bench, tears brimming and his heart pounding. </p><p>“Hey, what’s your problem?” She sneered. But he couldn’t hear her over the blood thrumming in his ears. He stumbled through the gate of the fence, making his way to the front yard when his body lurched. The contents of his stomach spilling into the closest bush he could run to. </p><p>Sour liquid seem to pour out of him. A few onlookers hanging out on the porch made comments of disgust. But all he could do was let his body rid itself of the toxic drinks he had poured into it. </p><p>Once he felt like he was done, he slumped down against the side of the house. His face drenched with tears and sweat despite the frigid air. </p><p>Absentmindedly, he reached in his pocket for his phone. The only thing he knew in that moment was that he really wanted to leave. He couldn’t bare the thought of disappointing his friends so he couldn’t go to them. So he did the next best thing. </p><p>It took two rings for the phone to pick up. Which was surprising considering how late it was, but Ian figured she’d been waiting to hear from him anyway. </p><p>“Hey you, everything okay?” Laurel asked. </p><p>“Mom,” he couldn’t stop his voice from breaking, “I wanna come home.” Tears spilled and his body shook. He hated that she’d have to come and deal with him, but he just wanted to leave and forget this night had even happened. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll be there soon,” and with that the phone hung up so Ian pushed himself up, using the wall of the house to balance himself as he got to his feet slowly. </p><p>The young Lightfoot made his way to sit on the curb, pulling out his notebook and opening it up. </p><p>He stared angrily at the page in front of him. His stupid checklist. ‘Don’t push yourself’ my ass, he thought. He reached up to rip the piece of paper out of the spiral spine and crumpled it up, chucking it into the street. He shoved his notebook back into his back pocket. He really had been having so much fun. But now all he could think about were hands touching him and hurting him. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself, his stomach still in knots as he tried to shove his memories down. </p><p>The cold air around him made his fingers feel numb as they dug into the sides of his shirt. It seemed like he was less likely to fall apart if he was physically holding himself together. </p><p>Briefly he wondered if this was all he’d ever be. The shell of an elf who could never live his life without feeling the guilt and shame of his past. </p><p>Light floods his vision and he looks up to see a pair of headlights approaching him so he stood. He stumbled slightly, shivering as he tried to regain his balance. His mom pulled up beside him, reaching to open the door for her youngest son. She gasped when she saw him. </p><p>“Honey, what happened? And where’s your jacket? It’s freezing!” She asked. Concern etched her features as the young elf slid into the passenger seat. </p><p>“I threw up,” Ian mumbled as his seat belt clicked. </p><p>“Oh hun, I’m so sorry. We’ll get you all cleaned up here soon,” she promised as she turned up the heat. They drove in silence for a moment before Ian felt a wave of guilt. </p><p>“‘M sorry it’s so late,” Ian slurred. </p><p>“I told you I’d come get you if you needed me,” she said lovingly. He tried to give her a smile but he just felt so defeated. This night had taken such a turn and he felt so sick. </p><p>He quickly decided he’d never participate in drinking alcohol again as he glanced at himself in the one of the side view mirrors. No wonder his mother gasped when she saw him, he looked rough. He was pale, and his eyes were red. His cheeks were stained from tears, leaving a soft sheen across his skin. His hands felt so shakey and the taste of vomit was still very much on his tongue. </p><p> “I know you’ve had a rough night, but there’s a surprise waiting at home for you,” she smiled. Ian could only nod his head. His stomach was really not setting well but he figured it was nice to look forward to something. It’s not like this night could get any worse. But as they approached their home he felt his heart drop. </p><p>That couldn’t be... He felt his body start to tremble even more as realization hit him like a train. </p><p>Guinevere the Second was sitting in the driveway. And that only meant one thing. </p><p>“I know the van gives it away, he’s been talking about this for a few days. He got in not too long before you called” his mom said excitedly as she shut off the engine. Ian felt his stomach churn. He had no idea what to expect, all he knew was he was not ready in the slightest to see that van parked there again. </p><p>Ian had to force his feet to move as he and his mother walked into the house. An excited Blazey greeting them and being shooed off by his mother. Nausea hit him again, burning his throat as he scanned the front room. </p><p>And then, just as quickly as he had been gone from the house, Barley made his way into the living room. His smile was huge, his baritone voice echoing off the walls. </p><p>“There he is! You have a good time? Mom said you were parting it up tonight,” he said enthusiastically. Ian couldn’t hold back anymore. And before he could stop it or ask for a trash can he was dropping to his knees vomiting on the floor. </p><p>Mirroring looks of horror, the other Lightfoots were scrambling for towels and napkins. His mother shouting something about getting some water and yelling for Blazey to get away from the mess. </p><p>Ian slumped on all fours and felt his vision blur. Everything seemed to fade as the other elves were running around trying to clean him up. </p><p>The younger man felt everything fade to black, briefly thinking that this was probably one of the worst nights he’s ever had.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dont mix your darks and lights folks</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So chapter four probably won’t be out until later next week. I’d say “oh chapter every Wednesday,” but deadlines stress me out sOoO again anticipate weekly from now on. </p><p>Im thinking 12-15 chapters?? I dunno I’m still kind of mapping everything out. </p><p>Also I have to be predictable before I can rip your heart out, henny. Trust me, I’ve got a PLAN. So don’t you worry, I’ve already got that yummy angst planned out and like let’s just say don’t listen to Ashes by Celine Dion while you’re writing cuz BABY IT GETS THE BIG SAD </p><p>So any way, please enjoy (:(:(:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian woke up feeling like absolute garbage. The taste of something that had died sat on his tongue and the light from his window made his head throb with pain. He groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He felt like hell. Thankfully a bottle of water sat on his bedside table. He twisted off the cap and drank deeply. </p><p>He didn’t have much memory from the night before. He could remember dancing with his friends and Althea crushing everyone at beer pong. He almost remembered throwing up in a bush and his mom picking him up. </p><p>That’s when his heart dropped because hadn’t there been something else? He wracked his brain for answers but all he knew was he was anxious. </p><p>And then he recalled sitting outside with Rivera and kissing her and the memories that had flooded his brain when she touched him. How he had bolted, leaving her by herself. His stomach dropped. He’s never going to be able to face her again. </p><p>But there was something else, he pondered as he set the half empty bottle down. </p><p>Shakily, he stood. He stumbled over to his dresser, the affects of alcohol still making his head spin. He was still in his clothes from last night, save for his shoes. He quickly changed, dawning a hoodie and sweatpants that tapered at his ankles. </p><p>He groggily opened the door to his room, making his way to the stairs. The smell of, pancakes? He guessed. His stomach turned, he definitely wasn’t in the mood for food. But he knew there was ginger ale in the fridge that would hopefully soothe his tummy. </p><p>A deep laugh erupted from the kitchen when he was halfway down the steps that stopped him in his tracks. It all came flooding back to him. Barley was home. </p><p>Anxiety rippled through him, he went to turn around. He wasn’t ready for this, he was no where near prepared to face his brother again. But Blazey had blown his cover. The sweet dragon excitedly greeted him, curling around his legs and chirping happily. Her excitement alerted his mother who peered into the room. </p><p>“Oh hey, honey. Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll get you some Asprin,” she said kindly. Knowing he couldn’t run back upstairs, he nodded and made his way down, brushing the happy dragon away from his feet. </p><p>He didn’t even look at Barley as he made his way to the fridge, opening it to grab a can of carbonated soda. He popped it open, facing the sink as he took a sip. The silence killed him, and he was anticipating the older elf to speak. Instead he felt a tap on his shoulder and jumped. </p><p>“Here you go, sweetie. Didn’t mean to scare you,” Laurel said, coming out of nowhere and spooking the tiny elf. He turned towards her. He gladly took the little tablets in her hand and popped them in his mouth. </p><p>“Go have a seat, I’ll fix you something light,” she motioned. He swallowed hard, forcing the pills down. </p><p>“That’s okay, my stomach hurts,” he mumbled. The last thing on his mind right now was food. His appetite had vanished with the alcohol. </p><p>“Nonsense, you need to eat. It’ll make you feel better,” his mother chirped and moved to rummage through the cabinets. So begrudgingly he turned and headed to the table. He sat at the far end, directly opposite from his brother. </p><p>“Hey, drunky,” Barley teased, “feeling any better?” Ian just looked at him miserably. He knew he had to swallow his nerves and pull himself together. Their mother was like a hawk when it came to her sons and could sense something was wrong very easily. </p><p>“I feel gross,” Ian mumbled, fiddling with the tab on his soda can. </p><p>“It happens. I remember my first party,” Barley said amused. The older elf didn’t look any different, save for a little more stubble on his chin. He wore a dark hoodie, his denim vest that was clad with buttons over it. The jeans he was wearing were faded and worn. </p><p>“Playing Quests of Yore with your buddies doesn’t count as a party,” Ian said. He was trying desperately to hide that fact that his brother’s presence made him nervous even though his voice was shakey. </p><p>Barley chuckled, “it’s a party if there’s booze.” Ian just rolled his eyes and suddenly a plate of eggs and toast was in front of him. Laurel smiled down at him, encouraging him to try and eat. </p><p>Ian looked at his plate in disgust and began pushing his eggs around with his fork. </p><p>“No, you’re doing it all wrong, mom. He needs something greasy,” Barley chuckled, leaning forward to fold his arms on the table. Laurel rolled her eyes and moved to replace the soda can with a bottle of water. </p><p>“He needs protein, and to rehydrate,” she said, placing the plastic bottle in front of her youngest son. Ian continued to grimace at the food in front of him, his stomach turning slightly. </p><p>“I know you don’t feel well, but at least make an attempt with the eggs,” Laurel soothed, her hand softly squeezing his shoulder. He just looked at her with a look of sheer dread before she turned to walked back to the kitchen. </p><p>Ian messed with his eggs a little more, halving no intention of eating them. </p><p>“You have a good time last night?” Barley asked. Ian grimaced again, shaking his head. </p><p>“I’m never drinking again,” he swore. This was fine, everything was fine. Barley was acting normal so he needed to do the same. </p><p>“Yeah, you threw up like, everywhere,” Barley laughed. Ian dropped his fork slightly, shocked. He looked at the older elf in astonishment. </p><p>“I threw up in the house?” he asked. He could only remember the one time, then again he’s pretty sure he blacked out last night. Everything was still a blur and he didn’t even remember seeing Barely. </p><p>“Oh yeah, Mom thought she was gonna have to take you to the hospital or something.”</p><p>“I was worried he had alcohol poisoning,” Laurel explained, swooping in to start clearing empty plates from the table. “I may have overreacted, but I’m his mother I’m allowed to worry,” she said defensively. </p><p>“It was alright though, we gotcha all cleaned up and back into your chambers,” Barley said dramatically as he stood. He plucked a piece of toast from the smaller elf’s plate and moved to walk into the kitchen. </p><p>“Well if you boys wanna catch up, I need to go to the store. I’ve got a big dinner planned for tonight,” Laurel said and she placed the dishes in the sink. Ian felt his heart skip a beat. Quickly he stood, discarding his breakfast into the trash. </p><p>“That’s okay mom, I’ll go with you,” he suggested. He tried to calm himself and steady his hands as he handed his mother his empty plate</p><p>“You should really stay home and rest for a little bit, sweetie,” she said, tossing the dish in the soapy water that filled the sink. “Besides, I’ve got a little Winterfest surprise planned for you both and I can’t have you spoiling it for yourself.”</p><p>“O-okay,” Ian said defeatedly. He felt his skin begin to crawl. There’s no way he’d be able to convince her to allow him to go so it looked like he’d be locking himself in his room. </p><p>“I just gotta finish these dishes and I’ll go,” Laurel said. </p><p>“It’s alright mom, you go ahead and I’ll clean this up,” Barley said, stuffing the rest of his toast in his mouth and moving over to the sink to take over the dishes. “You shouldn’t have to do this anyway.” </p><p>“Don’t speak with your mouth full,” his mother chastised, “are you sure?” she finished. </p><p>The larger elf swallowed, “its no problem. And don’t worry, I’ll take care of Sir Drinks A lot over there,” he smiled, motioning towards Ian with his thumb. Ian felt his whole body go cold. There could only be one reason why Barley would be pushing his mother out the door. Anxiety thrummed through his tiny frame as panic began to set. </p><p>“Alright,” Laurel mused squeezing her eldest sons shoulder, “I’ll guess I’ll be back soon.” With that she gave both her boys a kiss on the cheek and was heading out the door. Ian found himself glued to his spot as everything sunk in. </p><p>He was alone. With Barley. Last time they’d been alone he was shoved up against the steering wheel of Guinevere the Second. Waves of nausea hit him as he recalled how roughly Barely had-</p><p>“Hey,” a soft hand was on his shoulder, stopping his train of thought, “are you okay?” Barley had asked. Ian gave him a nervous look and pulled his arm away. </p><p>Ian just nodded quickly and left the older elf standing in the kitchen. The touch of his brothers hand on his arm burned into his skin as he ran up the stairs. Once his door was shut and he slumped against it he let out shakey breaths. </p><p>It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see his brother. Well, he kind of wasn’t. It was difficult to really explain the feelings he felt in the moment. Barley had acted pretty normal, but he never let it show if something was bothering him anyway. There was always something so cold and calm about him after he’d be finished with Ian. It was hard to distinguish whether he was simply not reacting for Ian’s sake or if he just didn’t care. </p><p>Regardless, he was always back to his chummy self when they’d get home. Even now the things Barley was saying unsettled him. He told their mother he’d, ‘take care of him,’ and that had the young elf’s mind racing to all the things that could mean. It’s meant nothing in the past, but it’s also been code for ‘get in Guinevere, we’re leaving.’ And it scared the smaller elf because he never knew what to expect. </p><p>There would be times where Barley would genuinely take him places and they’d hang out and everything would be normal. But then there were times where he’d flip on a dime and grab Ian out of no where and Ian would just follow limply as he anticipated what was to come. </p><p>Ian rubbed his face with one of his hands.  He had to pull himself together. He had done it before when Barley still lived at home. He just had to push himself back into that numbing mindset that he really never left. It had just been easier with his older brother gone because Ian no longer had to be scared of being abused constantly. </p><p>But Winterfest had eleven more days. Ian wasn’t sure how long Barley planned on staying but he wasn’t looking forward to it. </p><p>Slowly, he pushed himself off the door and moved to plop down on his mattress, eyes landing on his phone. </p><p>He dreaded having to look at his messages but he picked up the phone anyway. Once he saw the several worried texts from his friends he felt his gut wrench. He should have checked in with them, but he couldn’t deal with that now. So he tossed his phone onto his end table and threw himself back into his pillow with a groan. </p><p>On one hand it was a good thing elves weren’t permitted to be at school during Winterfest because he didn’t think he’d be able to face his friends on Monday. But at the same time, school would have been his only escape from being alone with Barley. </p><p>‘If he was going to do anything he would have been up here by now,’ Ian told himself. It was a poor attempt to quell the nerves in his stomach but it brought him a little comfort. When Barley was living at home and they were by themselves he’d waste no time dragging Ian out of the house and into the back of Guinevere. Ian always figured it was because the older elf never knew how much time he’d have and there was always a grace period of calming Ian down afterward. </p><p>By now, Ian knew that it took roughly twenty minutes to drive to the store, give or take fifteen minutes to half an hour for shopping, and then another twenty minutes back. So it would be about an hour before their mother would return which was plenty of time for the older elf to pull him away. </p><p>He was sure Barley knew this to, there’s no way he hadn’t calculated it before. So if he hasn’t come up now, then he wasn’t planning on doing anything. </p><p>At least that’s what Ian kept telling himself to stay calm as he worked to slow his breathing. </p><p>Suddenly there was a soft knock on his door that startled the young Lightfoot. His eyes wide and heart pounding against his chest. </p><p>Barley nudged the door open slightly, Blazey slipping in happily from under his feet. </p><p>“Hey, I just wanted to check in. You must be hangin’ pretty hard,” Barley said. He didn’t enter the room, just stood in the door way nonchalantly. Ian swatted Blazey away gently when she tried to come up and greet him. She trilled softly as she moved to curl up at the end of his bed. </p><p>“I-I’m okay,” he stuttered, “just trying to lay down for a little bit.” Barley nodded in understanding. He opened the door a little bit wider, still not entering. </p><p>“Look, I’m sorry,” he said softly, “I should have told you I was gonna be home.”</p><p>“No- it’s fine, really,” Ian felt his chest tighten as anxiety gripped his heart. Before he could stop the words from coming out he uttered, “it’s good to see you.” This brought a smile out of Barley.  </p><p>“Yeah, it’s good to see you too,” the older elf grinned. And for a moment it was silent between them. Ian felt like he was drowning in tension but Barely seemed relaxed. </p><p>“Welp,” the older Lightfoot started, “I’ll let you get back to it. Let me know if you need anything.” Relief flooded Ian’s body and he nodded in return.  His brother left, shutting the door behind him. </p><p>A huge sigh escaped him as he laid back against his mattress. Maybe he could get through this after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So remember when I said chapter four would be up next week? Yeah, so that was a lie. </p><p>I just can’t keep you waaiiitttinnggg</p><p>Also someone pointed out that obviously Barley doesn’t want to hurt his brother had was “boiled down to his bases,” you’re kinda right. There’s gonna be a chapter soon in his point of view that kind of explains his behavior so it makes more sense. </p><p>And just know that everything happens for a reason :3</p><p>I have like the next two chapter written so I’ll probably post them daily since clearly I’m unhinged. </p><p>e n j o y :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once Ian had heard Laurel come back home he felt a wave of relief. Noting that it was safe to go downstairs, he pulled himself up and made his way to the front room of the house. </p><p>Laurel was already swatting Barley’s hands away from the two wrapped gift boxes that were sitting on the coffee table. </p><p>“You can open those after dinner,” she said playfully. Ian shook his head, moving to the kitchen to start putting away groceries. </p><p>“Fine, but I’m gonna ask about it all night,” Barley warned. Ian could hear them bantering still as he put away a loaf of bread. It was as if no time had passed between his mom and his brother and they were right back to their playful relationship. Ian couldn’t understand how Barley did it. How he just was himself constantly even though he had to feel the tension between himself and Ian. </p><p>‘It’s because he doesn’t care,’ Ian told himself. But, no, that wasn’t right. Yes, his brother is careless, but not when it came to family. </p><p>“You can leave the meat out, sweetie, it’s for dinner,” his mom claimed, her voice pushing its way into his thoughts. He nodded, and set the chunk of wrapped meat on the counter. </p><p>When it came to her boys, Laurel liked to think she was very in tune to their emotions. Especially since Barley wore his heart on his sleeve. But, Ian was much more reserved. Still, he was quiet, more so than usual. She worried her bottom lip as she watched him begin to clean up the plastic bags that had carried the groceries. </p><p>She’d poke and prod later, now was a time for her to enjoy having both her sons home. Besides, her youngest did have a long night and was probably still feeling the effects of his hangover. So she pushed her worry aside and helped Ian finish putting everything away. </p><p>In honor of Winterfest, she had something special in mind that she was going to do for dinner. It was a time of togetherness, and they had been anything but lately. And she knew one of the most important things to her boys was their dad. So, she shuffled through on of the kitchen drawers before pulling out a note card. Cursive writing littered the page. It was one of Wilden’s favorite recipes. If anything could bring their family together it was this. </p><p>Ian found himself dreading spending time downstairs. He just wanted to hide in his room until the holiday was over but he knew he’d never hear the end of it from his mother. But to his surprise, they had actually slipped into comfortable conversation. Even though it was mostly just Laurel asking Barley about his life on his own and Ian casually listening beside them. </p><p>He went on about how much he enjoyed working in the shop, even if it was just tinkering on older vehicles when the days were slow. He talked about how he managed to find a nice little apartment and how weird it was to have to worry about domestic things such as bills and groceries. </p><p>“Of course I normally just go out with the guys after a long day,” he had said nonchalantly. </p><p>“Oh, I’m sure there’s never a dull moment with you,” Laurel chuckled. Barley’s new life sounded so free. Everyday was something different and Ian found himself envious. Here his older brother had just picked up and moved on and Ian felt like he was left to deal with everything and it wasn’t fair. </p><p>‘Why do you get to move on?’ he had thought as the other two elves continued to ramble on. But he swallowed his anger and sadness because he couldn’t risk anyone seeing him slip. </p><p>The three elves actually prepared dinner together, a delicious roast that the two brothers new to be their father’s recipe. Between Ian’s meticulous measurements and Barley getting his hand smacked away from chopped vegetables by his mother, preparing dinner was almost normal for the Lightfoot family. </p><p>Ian felt a sense of calm come over him. So far things had been fine. He knew he was still keeping to himself, he just didn’t know what to say. </p><p>“Still not feeling well?”Laurel asked as she helped him with cutting up potatoes. Barley had left the room for a moment, so it was just the two of them. </p><p>“I’m okay, just tired” he assured. It wasn’t necessarily a lie, however it was very far from the truth. </p><p>“I thought it wasn’t gonna be that kind of party?,” Laurel teased. She gladly took the eye roll in a amusement. Honestly, she was just proud he decided to leave the house on a weekend. </p><p>Still, something was off. Ian had hardly said anything to his brother all day and she knew that was very unusual. So she had to ask, “is everything okay? You’ve barely said a word to your brother all day.” She set the knife she’d been using to chop the vegetables down on the cutting board. Ian felt his heart sink. </p><p>“Everything’s fine,” he mumbled, looking down at the counter in front of him. </p><p>“It’s okay to be upset with him. He was gone for a long time,” Laurel said softly. Surprised, Ian looked over at her. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to say but maybe he hadn’t slipped up and badly as he thought. </p><p>“Yeah,” Ian agreed, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. </p><p>“And I know you two have always been so close, so that must have been hard,” the older elf continued. “But like you said, it’s a good thing he’s on his own. What is it you’re always saying? ‘Baby birds leaving the nest’?” Ian chuckled and tucked his hands beneath his arms. </p><p>“Yeah, and we didn’t think Barley would ever leave the nest,” he joked lightheartedly. He didn’t want to give her any more indication that he was upset, and they say laughter is the best medicine. Laurel smiled at her youngest, her amber eyes meeting his matching ones. </p><p>“So enjoy this time together because you’ll be doing the same soon enough,” she encouraged, “your brother loves you and I’d hate to see you two fighting all of Winterfest.” </p><p>“I’ll talk to him,” Ian promised with a nod. But he still felt guilty for lying to her. And if she was noticing little things like this it was only a matter of time before she’d start to ask more questions. </p><p>The young Lightfoot had made a promise to himself to protect his mother from the truth and he was going to make damn sure he kept that promise.</p><p>It was gonna be difficult, because Barley’s presence made his so nervous, but he’d have to be strong this time. He had to get through this holiday, if not for himself than for his mom. </p><p>So they finished preparing dinner, Barley returning to help. Ian tried to push himself a little to initiate conversation to show his mom he was making an effort. And by the time their meal was finished they had made their way to the living room where Laurel excitedly sat them down on the sofa. The young Lightfoot tried to keep a distance between them but Barley had just flopped down next to him and threw his arm over the back of the couch behind Ian. </p><p>Shoving down the uncomfortable feeling crawling up his spine, Ian plastered on a smile as his mother entered, carrying two mugs. </p><p>“Ah, Mom, you made your cocoa,” Ian said excitedly. The warm drink was sure to bring him some comfort. One of his favorite things about the winter season was his mother making her famous hazelnut hot chocolate. </p><p>“Well, I figured I’d whip some up since it’s such a fan favorite,” she winked, handing a mug to each son, “since Barley has been pestering me all day, why don’t you two go ahead and open your gifts.” The older elf smushed her way between her sons on the sofa so she could be next to both of them. </p><p>The boys set their mugs down, Barley had excitedly grabbed his from the counter top and tore through the wrapping. Ian took time to pull at the seams where the tape held the festive paper together. Somehow he had managed to get it open as quickly as his brother, each of them pulling out their gift from its confinement. </p><p>Ian smiled at the sweater fondly, rubbing his thumb on the soft fabric. His was a dark red, in the center was a tree fitted with embroidered lights that decorated it. His mom was such a sap for the holidays. Barley’s was identical, but instead of red it was a dark navy blue. </p><p>“Mom, you sap, are you planning a family photo?” Barley asked. Laurel smiled, placing a hand on his thigh lovingly. </p><p>“We didn’t get to take one last year, so be ready to wear these on Tuesday when the photographer gets here,” she said excitedly, “and don’t worry there will plenty more gifts. I’m planning a little party for next week and you guys will get to open more presents,” she promised. </p><p>“Alright, just keep this one away from the booze,” Barley teased as he motioned toward Ian who in return gave him a dirty look. </p><p>“Yeah, and don’t worry, you’ll get your fair share of presents too,” Ian promised. He hadn’t really thought about her gift but he knew she deserved something really special. </p><p>Laurel rolled her eyes, moving to pinch both their cheeks with either hand, “I’ve got all I need right here,” she said softly before letting go and grabbing the discarded wrapping paper off the floor before Blazey could get ahold of it. </p><p>Ian moved to help her and an uneasy feeling set over him. Not only would getting their pictures done mean more togetherness but the night was also winding down and Laurel would go to bed soon. He had no idea what to expect once she was asleep. </p><p>‘What if he grabs me,’ Ian thought as he crumpled up bits of wrapping paper and threw them in the trash. </p><p>However, Ian made him promise a long time ago that nothing was to happen in the house. Ian couldn’t handle the memories that certain rooms held and Barley had understood and the older elf had kept that promise. </p><p>Still, the young elf found himself biting his lower lip with worry. He had a lock on his door, but that had proven useless before. Of course Barley could pick locks, so that wasn’t really an option for protection. </p><p>Ian’s eyes wandered as he thought to himself. There had to be something he could do. Even if it was just something to bring himself comfort because he knew he wasn’t as strong as Barley. So fighting him off wasn’t an option either. </p><p>Suddenly his eyes landed next to the front door where his staff sat propped against the wall. He may not be stronger than Barley but he did have the gift of magic, he thought. </p><p>It had been so long since he’d picked up his magical staff. Practicing the craft was really difficult when he remembered that his brother taught him almost everything he knew. So his staff had sat in that pot for nearly a year, gathering dust because it was just too painful for the small wizard to use it. </p><p>But it just might be the thing he needs to get through the night. Even if all he had was the empty threat of shrinking his brother to a smaller size temporarily. It was better than nothing, so Ian made a mental note to grab the staff before he headed upstairs for the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you’ve never had hazelnut hot chocolate then I’m sorry but you’ve never tasted happiness. </p><p>I also really love writing how oblivious their mother is but like also how she’s so observant of their behavior. Laurel is a gem</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is a little short. Next chapter kind of goes more into Barley’s point of view so things are gonna start making more sense. </p><p>Just pray for our sweet Ian here because he’s about to be s t r e s s e d</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had turned out to be a very long night. Every time Ian had managed to close his eyes there’d be a noise that would jerk him awake. He’d grip the staff that was clenched in his hands and hold his breath. </p><p>‘The house is just settling, you’re fine,’ he’d tell himself. But it didn’t bring him much comfort. When he did manage to fall asleep he’d wake up every hour in a fit of paranoia. There’s no way he’d could get through the rest of Winterfest like this. </p><p>Once morning had eventually came he rolled out of bed. Exhausted, he managed to pull on a deep rusty colored hoodie and dark wash jeans. He made his way down the stairs, staff in hand. Before he could put it back in its pot by the door, hands were on his shoulders shaking him excitedly. </p><p>“Ooh, are you gonna practice some magic, young mage?” Barley asked with way too much energy. </p><p>“No,” Ian said, shoving his hands away annoyed. He stuck the wooden staff back in the pot and leaned it against the wall. </p><p>“Someone’s moody,” Barley mumbled, “did the young wizard have a fitful slumber last night?” The older elf followed as Ian made his way to the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk. </p><p>‘Looks like he slept just fine,’ he thought as he poured the dairy beverage into a glass and took a sip. </p><p>“So, since mom’s out I was thinking we could go gift shopping for her,” Barley suggested. Ian’s stomach dropped and he set his glass down. </p><p>“Mom’s not home?” He asked, wide eyed.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s picking up stuff for her little party on Tuesday so now would be the perfect time to get her a gift,” Barley explained. Ian felt uneasy as he tried to wrack his brain for some kind of excuse as to why he couldn’t do that. It’s pointless though because if Barley wanted him to go he’d force him to either way. </p><p>Before he could respond Barley was reaching out to touch him, “ope, you got a milk-stash, I’ll get it,” he said as he moved to swipe his thumb over Ian’s upper lip. </p><p>The young elf jerked away, “I got it,” he said defensively and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. </p><p>“S-so, what did you have in mind for mom?” Ian asked, defeated. Barley grabbed him by the arm, tugging him along out the door. Ian followed, feeling his heart begin to race. </p><p>Barley let go, tossing his keys to Ian who caught them out of pure luck. The small elf looked up in confusion. </p><p>“What? You’ve got your license now, I figured you could drive,” the older elf chuckled. Ian felt his hands start shaking. Reluctantly he just nodded in response and slowly approached the van. </p><p>He unlocked the door, jumping up into the drivers seat, he felt his stomach turn and tears well in his throat. It had been so long since he’d been in this van. Last time he’d been in this seat he was sitting in Barley’s lap. </p><p>A tap on the passenger window startled him out of his thoughts. He looked over to see Barley jiggling the door. </p><p>“You gotta unlock it!” He voice was muffled by the barrier of the glass window. </p><p>Ian reached over to pull the lock, “s-sorry,” he mumbled. He really needed to calm himself down. He couldn’t afford to lose it in front of his brother. The last thing he needed was the older elf’s attempt to comfort him. So he started the van, his hands shaking when he slid the key into the ignition. </p><p>He backed out of the driveway, and shifted into ‘O’ and drove away from the safety of the house. He felt his breathing become shallow as anxiety gripped his heart. This was happening again wasn’t? And Barley making him drive? It had to be some kind of sick joke. </p><p>He knew Barley kept everything in the glove box as far as lubrication and towels went, so maybe riding in the passenger seat gave him better access to those things. </p><p>Regardless, being back in Guinevere the Second was already unnerving enough. He had lost count of how many times he’d been repeatedly violated in the back of her or in the very seat he was sitting in. Barley had to know how uneasy this made him, but his expression remained stoic. </p><p>“Turn up here,” Barley said, motioning with his hand. </p><p>“W-What?” Ian stuttered. His heart was pounding hard in his chest and tears threatened to spill. </p><p>“There’s a pawn shop up here, we might find something cool,” Barley explained. Ian let out a quiet sigh of relief. He really needed to get ahold of himself if he wanted to get through this. </p><p>Sure enough there was a shop at the next right that he took. He parked the van and shut off the engine, stepping out of Guinevere and finally letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His legs felt wobbly as they made they’re way into the shop. </p><p>He should have expected Barley to choose someplace like a pawn shop to go gift shopping. He loved finding old antiques, even if they didn’t find anything for their mom there were other places they could go. </p><p>The door chimes as they walked in, a short gremlin lady gave them a halfhearted wave before they began to look around. Ian found himself looking at a selection of vases, wondering which might go well with the living room. He was torn between a small, round base and a taller thinner one. Either would look nice, but the smaller one had similar foliage pattern that’d match their living room. </p><p>“Hey, Ian!” Barley called. Ian turned to look at him, his big brother motioning him over. It was strange that he was in the jewelry section but they were shopping for their mom. Barley pointed into the display case as Ian made his way over. The smaller elf peered in and gazed upon a small locket in the shape of a leaf. </p><p>As elves, they were very in tune to nature. Their ancestors had celebrated Mother Earth in almost every holiday they shared. So seeing the golden leaf and thinking about their history, it was perfect. </p><p>“You’ve got tons of pictures in your room, you think you have any of us that are small enough for that?” Barley asked. </p><p>Ian nodded, “I’m sure I could figure something out. Excuse me,” he called to the gremlin. She sauntered over, leaning into the display case. </p><p>“See something you like?” She asked. </p><p>“Yes, the locket shaped like a leaf,” Ian said, pointing to the golden necklace. </p><p>“How much for it?” Barley asked. The gremlin scratched her neck, pulling the piece of jewelry out of the display case. </p><p>“Let’s call it... 50,” she said, nodding her head. Ian moved to pull his wallet out, his brother nudging him with his elbow. </p><p>“I got it, you just take care of the pictures,” he said as he pulled money from his own wallet and handing it to the shop owner. She took the money and turned to box up the locket. </p><p>“Well, this was easy,” he chuckled. </p><p>“I have good ideas sometimes,” Barley teased. Ian rolled his eyes playfully. For a moment, any anxiety he was feeling was gone. It was just them getting a gift for their mother and it felt so calm. </p><p>When the gremlin returned with their gift, Barley took it happily and the two made their way out of the shop. Ian dreaded having to get back into Guinevere, but at least they could go home now. </p><p>“You still want me to drive?” He asked nervously. </p><p>“If you want to,” Barley smiled. Ian was definitely driving. There’s no way he’d be comfortable with Barley taking the wheel when he knew damn well this day could still take that turn. </p><p>So they headed home, Ian still felt nervous. He did his best not to let his mind linger in fear that unwanted memories would pop up. But the drive went much more smoothly than it had earlier. Before he knew it he was pulling back up to the house. </p><p>“I think you should handle the wrapping on this,” Barley said handing him the small box, “you’d probably do a better job at it than I would.” Ian took the box, he could definitely agree with that. Barley was such a mess sometimes, there’s no doubt he’d do a poor job wrapping their mom’s gift. </p><p>The young elf tucked the box into his pocket, their moms car was parked in the drive way so he didn’t want to risk her seeing it. </p><p>Upon entering, Ian felt more at ease than he ever had. For the first time in a long time he had what he could consider a good day with his brother, and what’s better is that he could smell another batch of fresh hazelnut cocoa as he entered the kitchen. </p><p>‘This is okay,’ he thought.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I figured our boi deserved a good day. If you can warrant that a good day because oof do I have plans for him.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Annnd here’s Barley’s point of view. I hope it starts to make a little more sense. Sorry it’s so short. </p><p>Also don’t get too comfortable. We’re hardly halfway through sooooo. Pray for our sweet boi</p><p>And as always, enjoy c:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later that night Barley lay in the dark silence of his room. His mind always kept him awake so trying to sleep was pointless. The day kept replaying in his head. </p><p>He recalled how tired Ian had looked when he had come down the stairs that morning, his skin was pale and bags hung around his eyes. It had pained the older man because he knew the root to the younger Lightfoot’s insomnia was him. </p><p>The younger elf had been agitated and grumpy but Barley had put his best foot forward and tried to put on a cheerful facade for his little brother anyway. Even though his hands were shoved away and the younger man had curled away from his touch, he knew he needed to be the rock. Because if he let Ian know how miserable he was the neither of them could get through this. </p><p>Guilt ate him alive daily, but watching Ian sit uncomfortably in Guinevere the Second was just another stab in the stomach. He would have taken any other vehicle, but Ian still didn’t have his own car. It had been so hard not to try and soothe Ian on the drive but he couldn’t bring himself to actually talk to him. </p><p>There had always been an unspoken understanding between them when Barley had still lived at home. If Barley felt that Ian needed to be calmed down or comforted he wouldn’t hesitate. The younger elf couldn’t go to anyone else so having his abuser be the one to make him feel better must have been hard. </p><p>That’s probably why it’s so difficult now, because Ian had gone so long without seeing him that he learned to calm himself. So Barley didn’t want to push him. </p><p>He knew the drive to the pawn shop earlier was nerve wracking for Ian, he had every right to be scared. It killed Barley to know just what kind of effects his presence had on his little brother, it filled him with hatred and disgust towards himself. He was supposed to protect his younger brother and instead he had defiled him in the worst of ways. </p><p>It all boiled down to their mother because again, if Ian sees that Barley is slipping then he’ll slip too. And Barley couldn’t bare the thought of their mother ever finding out what kind of monster he was, or what kind of pain he had inflicted on her youngest son, her baby. He didn’t think she could live such a heavy weight. He couldn’t protect Ian, so he had to make damn sure he protected his mother. </p><p>Laurel was a priceless gem in his life, the only bit of happiness he had left. Not that he deserved even a shred of her love. Still, she deserved the world. She deserved to go to sleep at night with the thought of her boys being happy and successful and that she had raised them to be strong young men. </p><p>It was far from the truth, but she was the only thing keeping him going at this point. He’s never let it show, but the love she shows both of her sons just fills him with such a warmth. </p><p>It was too late to take back what he did to Ian, but he’s been working on his impulses. That first morning when he had checked on the smaller elf, seeing him all snuggled up in his bed. The larger man had to remember to count backwards from ten and remove himself from the situation. It was something he’d been practicing every time the thought of Ian popped into his head. He couldn’t will away his attraction to his younger brother, but he could find ways to stop himself from thinking about it. </p><p>He’s often pick up extra shifts at the shop to avoid being home alone with his thoughts. He knows if he lets them linger he’ll text Ian and bother him, and he’s the last person his little brother wants to hear from. </p><p>So he keeps himself busy and he keeps his distance. Except his mother had really been bugging him lately and he knew it would have broken her heart if he didn’t spend Winterfest with them before Ian went off to college. </p><p>Next time he visits it’ll be while Ian is out of the house. Ian’s reaction to seeing him, drunk or not, was well deserved. And it was just more salt to the wound to know that he had that kind of affect on the smaller elf. </p><p>‘It’s my fault,’ he thought. All he had to do was keep his hands off his little brother. He had started developing romantic feelings for him when Ian was only ten and that made him feel so repulsed with himself. But Barley had been at the age where sex was starting to become a big thing on his mind. So, he was a little more handsy with his brother than he should have been, but Ian loved his cuddles when he was little. </p><p>Later after Barley had started experimenting with sex he quickly found that nothing satisfied him quite right. It was fun with girls, it was better with guys, but nothing compared to the way Ian would nuzzled against him sleepily after falling asleep during a movie. Or how erotic it was to watch his brows furrow and his tongue poke out as he was concentrating on something. </p><p>His attraction had eventually become too much one day when he had shown Ian the remodeling he’d done to Guinevere. Ian had cried as Barley touched him, but the older elf couldn’t stop himself. And things had escalated later. The worst part was that Barley had actually enjoyed the way the smaller elf would squirm against him, he found that pulling on his hair to make that perfect arch in the smaller elf’s back was one of his favorite things. Ian sobbing broke his heart yes, but it didn’t compare to what his little gasps of pleasure would do to him. Even if that pleasure was unwanted. And it was because of that he decided to leave in the first place. It sickened him to know that it brought him pleasure to hurt his little brother that way. </p><p>And now, knowing that sex was ruined for Ian and seeing him walk around like an empty shell, always shaking and nervous, destroyed Barley. He’s broken his little brother, and that was weight he’d have to carry for the rest of his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Our boys loovvve their momma. It would be such a shame if she ever found out </p><p>*sips tea*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Me: I’ll update weekly whatever it’s fine. </p>
<p>No one: </p>
<p>Not a single soul:</p>
<p>Me: Alright, you’ve twisted my arm. Daily updates it is. </p>
<p>Anyway, I hope this one turned out okay. It’s like right before all the good stuff so I’m sorry if it seems rushed. </p>
<p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tuesday had rolled around fairly quickly. Things were becoming less tense between Ian and Barley. The younger elf felt like he could actually get a restful nights sleep now. Still, worry sat at the end he of his mind. He could never be too careful. </p>
<p>“Boys, the photographer’s gonna be here soon,” Laurel called as she fastened the back of her earring. She was wearing an identical sweater to what the boys would be wearing, except hers was white.</p>
<p> Ian grabbed his Winterfest sweater off of his bed and threw it over his head. He struggled a little to get the neck over his head, but with a hard pull the fabric slid down, his ears bouncing as they were freed. </p>
<p>He felt good about today. After their family photos were taken, their mother had a party planned for tonight. She had invited quite a few people, including the Manticore. Barley had been pretty excited to learn about that. </p>
<p>It’d be nice to have other people here, he thought. Things were going well yes, but there was still some tension that Ian really wanted to escape for a bit. </p>
<p>Ian made his way down the stairs, his mother was situating the living room for their photo. </p>
<p>“Psst! Ian!” Barley called. Ian looked over at his brother in the doorway to the kitchen. He was already dressed in his sweater and his usual beanie was gone from his head. The older man motioned him over and Ian followed. </p>
<p>“Did you get mom’s gift wrapped?”</p>
<p>“You wanna give to her now?” Ian asked. He was thinking they’d wait until later but Laurel would probably appreciate having it for the photo. </p>
<p>“Yeah, she looks like she could use a distraction,” Barley smiled. Ian nodded, turning to head back up the stairs when suddenly there was a knock at the front door. </p>
<p>“Oh, he’s probably here,” Laurel said, situating her glasses. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” Ian said. He moved to open the door, gasping at the unexpected visitor. </p>
<p>“Oh, Sadalia,” his stomach did a flop. He had completely forgotten to get back with his friends about the other night. Seeing the darker skinned elf made him feel uneasy. </p>
<p>“Is it the photographer?” Laurel called. Ian swallowed. </p>
<p>“N-no, just give me a second,” he moved to step outside, shutting the door behind him. </p>
<p>“Happy Winterfest,” Sadalia said sharply, in her arms was a dark piece of clothing. His looked at it nervously, recognizing it to be the jacket he had left in her backyard. </p>
<p>“Sadalia, I’m really sorry about the other night- things just ended bad and I just-“</p>
<p>“Save it, here’s your jacket,” she said shoving the article of clothing toward him. She turned to walk away but he reached out to stop her. </p>
<p>“Wait, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t wanna bother you guys,” Ian apologized. He felt tears well in the back of his throat. He had been so stressed out he hadn’t realized he never replied to them. </p>
<p>Sadalia turned, her eyes hard as she stared at him, “I just don’t understand. We’ve done nothing but be there for you but no matter what you just shove us to the side,” she snipped, “I get that obviously your brother is home and Winterfest is time for family but we’re so exhausted trying to get you to hang out with us when you put in no effort in return.” Ian didn’t know what to say. She had every right to be upset with him, so the pain he was feeling was very well deserved. He had been treating them so horribly. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. She rolled her eyes. </p>
<p>“We even told you to come to us if you had a problem. Terrowin looked all over for you at that party,” she stated, “and you didn’t answer any of us when we texted you.” Ian swallowed thickly, she was right. They deserved more than what he was giving them and it filled him with guilt to know how much he’d hurt his friends. </p>
<p>“Whatever, just shoot me a text whenever you figure out what your problem is,” and with that she turned to walk away. It took everything in him to force his tears back. He gripped the jacket in his hands tightly as he watched her leave. </p>
<p>Slowly, he turned to walk back into the house, his head hung low as he fought his tears. </p>
<p>“Who was that, honey?” Laurel asked. Barley was sitting on the couch, watching him closely. </p>
<p>“J-just Sadalia bringing back m-my jacket,” he stuttered. Before she could ask anymore questions he bolted back up the stairs. He closed the door to his bedroom and and threw his jacket to the side, letting out a tiny sob. How could he have been so awful to them? He knew they were getting to a breaking point, he just hadn’t expected it to be thrown in his face today of all days. </p>
<p>Why was it that whenever he felt good about his day something had to come up and ruin it? Just squish him back to his low as if he were a bug to be smashed. He was tired of it and even more so crying. He was so sick of crying all the time. </p>
<p>As he was wiping his tears and trying to collect himself, he heard a small knock on the door, he turned to see his brother. The older Lightfoot appeared to be concerned as he stepped in the room. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” He asked softly. Ian nodded, grabbing the tiny gift box off of his desk. He had wrapped his mother’s gift in chrome green wrapping paper, finished with a sheer golden bow. </p>
<p>“Yeah, lets just go give this to mom before the photographer gets here,” he sniffed. He pushed past Barley, his eyes staying on the floor. He didn’t want to be questioned anymore, he just wanted to shove his feels down. </p>
<p>Together they made their way back down stairs. Laurel gave her youngest a worried look but he flashed her a weak smile to let her know he was okay. </p>
<p>“We’ve got a little surprise for you,” Barley said. He’d have to talk to Ian later to find out what happened, but for now the smaller elf looked like he wanted to be left alone. </p>
<p>The three made their way to the couch and Ian handed their mother her gift. She took it carefully, smiling as she ran a finger over the delicate wrapping lovingly. </p>
<p>“I told you guys you didn’t have to get me anything,” she said softly. </p>
<p>“We wanted to,” Ian smiled. He shoved down the sadness and self hatred he had for himself. Today was supposed to be a good day. He’d have plenty of time to cry after everyone went to sleep. </p>
<p>Laurel’s smile grew and she carefully unwrapped her gift. She opened the little black box slowly, revealing the golden leaf necklace her sons had picked out for her. </p>
<p>“Oh, it’s beautiful.”</p>
<p>“Take it out and open it up,” Barley nudged. Carefully, their mother pulled the jewelry from its bed of padding, running her thumb along the detail of the leaf. When she opened the locket it revealed small photos of each son on either side. Tears welled in her eyes as she gazed upon her gift. </p>
<p>“Oh, this is the most special thing,” she sniffed, she cradled the necklace in her hands. The love she felt for her boys filled her with such warmth. </p>
<p>“Why don’t you put it on?” Ian suggested. So Laurel split the chain and clipped the necklace around her neck. With either hand she pulled both her boys in for a hug. </p>
<p>“You two are the most amazing sons I could have asked for,” she said, nuzzling her nose into Ian’s hair. It made Ian feel better to know that at least he made his mother happy. </p>
<p>Eventually the photographer arrived and they posed for various pictures. One of all of them together, one with just Ian and Barley, one with Blazey laying across their laps as they sat together on the sofa. It had gone smoother than Ian anticipated, even with the looming cloud he felt following him. It had been difficult to smile at first, but he was very practiced at hiding his feelings. </p>
<p>Soon, the photographer was wrapping everything up, putting away his equipment and assuring Laurel the photos would be developed by the end of the week. </p>
<p>So, Ian and Barley began setting up for the party. Stringing up lights around the house, laying out a decorative table cloth in their dining room table, even helping Laurel set up the snacks. </p>
<p>As horrible as Ian felt, he continued to swallow it down. Tonight was going to be a good night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Is it ever a good time for our boi though??</p>
<p>Which is me saying, buckle your seat belts, my dudes. The angst will be upon us shortly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So “Hrive ‘Isia” is basically elf talk for Winterfest. It makes sense with the context it’s used in, I promise. </p>
<p>Just a fair warning, there is mentions of sex in this chapter. I mean, it’s rated M so you know you signed up for. </p>
<p>I also know that it might be odd that I have the boys tagged in the relationship category but like I don’t actually ship them romantically. If it’s not devastating and forced than it has to be just brotherly love for me (not that there’s anything wrong with those who do ship them. It’s not my cup of tea,)</p>
<p>That being said, I can end this two ways. It can be like sadish or it can be OOF. So let me know how shattered you want your heart and I’ll go from there :3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The party had turned out to be a pretty good one. Ian was still a little tense, being around a lot of people was still difficult but despite what had happened with Sadalia earlier he had been having a pretty good day. </p>
<p>The best part was things were starting to feel a little better between him and Barley. It’s hard for Ian to not be nervous but they actually had fun setting everything up together. </p>
<p>The night had started pretty well too. Laurel got lots of compliments on her necklace, and she bragged heavily on her boys. </p>
<p>“They’re just the sweetest,” she said, waving her hand as she spoke with a coworker she’d invited. The cyclops smiled, and the two continued on about Laurel’s boys. </p>
<p>Barley had busied himself by mingling with others. It was weird seeing him act so adult, but he happily answered questions about being in his own. A lot of the people their mother invited had been in their lives for years, so it wasn’t uncommon for them to be interested in the two elven boys. </p>
<p>Ian overheard Barley talking to another elf, rather flirtatiously if Ian had anything to say about it. He could hear her giggling as he made some joke. She excused herself for a moment so Ian approached. </p>
<p>“Picking up girls at moms Winterfest party?” Ian said. She didn’t even seem like the type of girl Barley would be into. The elf his brother had been talking to was way more put together so to speak. She looked like one of those girls who ran for class president and probably wanted to go into nursing after high school. </p>
<p>“I’m not ‘picking her up.’ I mean, I wouldn’t turn her down if she was interested but..,” Barley chuckled. In his hand he held a beer, which made Ian cock his head. </p>
<p>“You’re drinking?” The smaller man asked. Barley scoffed, throwing an arm over Ian’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“I’m of the age, why you want me to sneak you a little somethin’?” </p>
<p>“N-no my drinking days are over,” Ian grimaced. He was definitely not participating in drinking ever again.</p>
<p>“Nonsense, young Lightfoot, they’ve only just begun,” Barley said dramatically, “‘tis the time of Hrive ‘Isia, and in the days of old all twelve days were spent celebrating with food and drink and these days are no exception,” he finished, taking a sip from his drink. Laurel had broken through the crowd, a plate of cheese cubes in her hands. She had heard their conversation, thanks to Barley’s loud baritone voice, and gave her oldest a look of annoyance. </p>
<p>“Am I gonna have to put a lock on the liquor cabinet tonight?” She chastised. It was by no means a raging party, just a friendly get together. People were bringing by gifts and homemade meals and just celebrating the time of togetherness. Some were drinking wine, but besides that and a select few draft beers no other alcohol had been served. </p>
<p>“Oh no, no more hard stuff for pukey over here,” Barley laughed, messing up his brother’s hair as he spoke. Ian knew he’d never hear the end of this and he rolled his eyes and pushed his brother’s hand away in annoyance. </p>
<p>“No hard stuff for either of you, and leave Carol’s daughter alone. She’s a sweet girl and you have a tendency to be a bad influence,” Laurel teased as she set her plate down on the counter. Barley just waved her off playfully. </p>
<p>When the Manticore arrived, Barley had all but forgotten about her anyway. He busied himself with asking Corey a million questions that she was happy to answer. And Ian felt pretty good about how smoothly things were going. </p>
<p>He gladly sat back and listened as the Manticore had begun to tell a tale of an grand adventure she had. She was so captivating she had the entirety of the party gathered around listening to her. She was so expressive in describing everything, interacting with the crowd dramatically. </p>
<p>He had been worried Barley would drink too much tonight, but he had seemed to be nursing the beers he had which made Ian feel a lot better. He worried if the older man had gotten drunk he’d try something, but if anything he just seemed to be enjoying himself. </p>
<p>Ian wondered if he looked just as at ease, but he knew he was awkward still. He’d bump into someone and mumble an apology, or hang back quietly while others happily talked amongst themselves. In a way he still felt left out a little, but this party was way more his speed than his first had been. </p>
<p>Occasionally, Barley would come up to him and ask if he was okay. He’d even hang out with him for a moment or two. </p>
<p>Although, now that Ian was thinking about it, Barley had seemed to of disappeared. Corey had finished with her story a while ago, so that no longer had his brother’s attention. Ian wondered. </p>
<p>He found himself looking around, meekly excusing himself through the crowds. He found himself checking outside, peering around the front of the house. It’s not like the other elf could have gone far and besides Guinevere was still here and... oh-</p>
<p>Guinevere the Second was indeed here and she was rocking. Ian felt his jaw drop a little, the realization of what was happening in that van coming as a shock to him. This was brash even for Barley. </p>
<p>Ian turned on his heel, a deep blush setting over his face. He entered the house once more, trying to shove the mental image out of his brain. </p>
<p>Barley really needed a distraction. Like, desperately because counting backwards from ten and removing himself from the situation wasn’t working well when Ian looked so cute in his Winterfest sweater. Even allowing Barley to tousle his hair earlier had sparked a bit of a fire with in him. So, after the Manticore finished her tale he had sought out Carol’s daughter again. </p>
<p>Alinor was her name, “my friends call me Ali,” she’d said but Barley didn’t really care. All that mattered was that she was cute, she laughed at his jokes, and she was buzzed from the wine she’d been tossing back all night. </p>
<p>College girls, right?</p>
<p>She was buzzed enough that he had shown her Guinevere the Second and coaxed her into the back where things had gotten heated. Before he knew it he had her skirt hiked up to her waist and his head between her legs, he was a gentleman after all. </p>
<p>She had also said something along the lines of “I never do stuff like this,” as she was unbuttoning his jeans, implying that she didn’t hookup with strangers at parties a lot but Barley was finding that pretty hard to believe because now she was bent over the small bench in the back of his van while he ruthlessly pounded into her. She was pushing back to meet his thrusts and moaning hotly. It’d be a pretty erotic sight to any normal guy. He normally doesn’t do this either, sometimes he sought the company of another, yes, he had urges. </p>
<p>Especially being home and the one elf that actually brings him any relief is strictly off limits. So, Ali was nothing more than stress relief because he can’t hurt Ian again, he refuses to stoop to that low ever again. Even though his mind keeps going to him, and he’s closing his eyes imagining that he was with Ian instead. His grip tightened on her hips and he pushed into her faster. </p>
<p>As sweet as she is she’s just not doing it for him. He knows she’s finished at least twice at this point. He huffs, and grabs a handful of her wavy hair. It’s too silky and long, but he gives it a rough tug and, finally, finds some sort of pleasure building. </p>
<p>Eventually, he comes and he really should have pulled out because he’s wasn’t exactly playing it safe. </p>
<p>He’s still not satisfied and it eats at him. </p>
<p>“I’ll give you my number so we can do this again some time,” she says, coming up and dipping one finger in the collar of his sweater to pull him in for a hot kiss. He agrees, having no intention of ever contacting her again, and they move to fix their clothes. She checks her hair in one of the mirrors, moving it appropriately because he definitely left a hickey on her collarbone just barely beneath the collar of her v neck sweater, and she heads back inside.</p>
<p>He moves to sit outside of the van for a moment to let the cold seep into his skin. His mind keeps racing because he knows what he needs to put out the fire in his stomach but he can’t do that to his brother again. It’s selfish and it’s wrong. It’s disgusting, he knows this. </p>
<p>‘He’s a strong kid, he’ll be fine,’ he thinks. And he’s repulsed that the thought even crossed his mind. </p>
<p>‘I don’t even have to go that far,’ he thought as he chewed on one of his nails. He was like an addict in recovery who had been exposed to their drug of choice after the first month of sobriety. And touching Ian is way more than enough to give him the high he needs. But, he wants to drive himself off of a cliff for even having these thoughts. </p>
<p>Angrily, he shoved his inner voice down and moved to walk back inside. He just needed another beer and to take his mind off of this. </p>
<p>‘Remove yourself from the situation,’ he chants in his mind. Itd be really wise to just stay away from Ian for the rest of the night. But upon entering the house, he sees his little brother chatting with Corey happily. His hair is all fluffy, and the contrast of his sweater on his blue skin brings him out so nicely. He’s got a plate of pretzels in his hand that he seems to be enjoy, and the softest smile on his lips as he listens to the Manticore. </p>
<p>It had been so long since he had seen Ian look so comfortable. </p>
<p>His body moves before he can think, and before he knows it he’s clapping a hand on Ian’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“Sir Iandore Lightfoot,” he says with a big smile, “what say you and I take the old girl for a joy ride later.” Ian looks like he’s seen a ghost for moment and he clears his throat before he speaks, his eyes darting to the floor almost as if he’s embarrassed. </p>
<p>“I think I just wanna stay in tonight,” Ian said. With the knowledge of what his brother had just been doing, he felt a little awkward. He can feel a deep blush erupt into his cheeks and he just hopes it isn’t noticeable. </p>
<p>“Ah, c’mon, it’ll be like a little quest,” Barley pleaded. Ian gives him a nervous look and his heart sinks a little bit. So Barley reassured him, “we’ll stay in town if it’ll make you feel better.” He says it loud enough so Ian can hear him but it’s still soft. </p>
<p>Ian sighs, he really doesn’t want to take the chance that Barley would do something, but they’d been having so much fun together lately. The older man hasn’t given him any reason to worry yet, still something feels off. </p>
<p>There are so many people around though and he doesn’t want Barley to make a scene. </p>
<p>“Only if I get to drive,” he said. Barley tosses him the keys happily. Ian shoved down the bit of nervousness that bloomed in his tummy. </p>
<p>Barley cracks open another beer And shoots him a finger gun, “I’ll come grab you in a little bit.” Ian nods, but he still feels like maybe this is a bad idea.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please don’t hate me. </p>
<p>I know we all wanna wrap our sweet Ian up in warm blankies and protect him from the world but just bare with me. </p>
<p>Also PRACTICE safe sex pleeaaAAASSsse. Like I’m not gonna make him a dad but I’m still s t r e s s e d about it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I’ve had to adjust the tags</p>
<p>That being said this chapter may be triggering to some so please read with caution. </p>
<p>There’s noncon elements and very *brief* mention of suicidal thoughts but it’s not too heavy I just wanna put the warning there so everyone stays safe &lt;3</p>
<p>Please enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It shouldn’t have been so easy to talk him into a joy ride, but things had been going well and Ian wasn’t so nervous. </p>
<p>He was going to be the one driving, so in a way he was in control. That put him at ease. Although Barley had had a few at the party, he just seemed more bubbly than anything. </p>
<p>So the two hopped into Guinevere the Second, Ian shoving down his doubts as he started the car. He really wanted to have a good night with his brother and this seemed like it was one of those times where they’d actually adventure a little bit. </p>
<p>“Alright, young Lightfoot, where might we be headed?” Barley asked in his dramatic medieval tone. </p>
<p>“I figure we let the road take us where it will,” he replied happily. He shifted into onward, and they were off. Barley slipped a tape in the cassette player, and turned up the volume. He had brought a few beers for the road, so he generously swigged the open one in his hand. </p>
<p>“Take a right here,” he pointed drunkenly. They were still very much in town so it didn’t bother Ian much that he was giving direction. He knew his way around, he knew where the street lights lit the roads so there was no way he’d end up in a dark alley or an abandoned dirt road. </p>
<p>“Give ‘er a little gas there, Iandore,” Barley slurred. Ian rolled his eyes. </p>
<p>“I shouldn’t have let you bring those last few beers,” he teased. Still, he pressed down on the gas pedal a little harder and accelerating the vehicle. </p>
<p>“Please, it takes way more than a few beers to get me even slightly buzzed,” the older Lightfoot defended, “you’re the light weight. It probably took you what? A few drinks?”</p>
<p>“I’ll have you know,” Ian said as he took another turn, “I did shots all night at that party,” he said smugly. Barley just scoffed and waved his hand. </p>
<p>“Shots of what, punch?” </p>
<p>“I’m not really sure actually, I just know it was disgusting,” Ian laughed. For once he didn’t feel tense at all. He was almost at ease with his brother, and their little banter was just making him enjoy their time together that much more. </p>
<p>“Oh, man I can’t see it. I bet you’re the worst drunk,” Barley laughed. Ian rolled his eyes. </p>
<p>“I thought I did pretty alright, y’know until I was throwing up,” he chuckled. </p>
<p>The last time they had hung out like this had been so long ago. Ian never thought he’d be able to enjoy it again. But here they were, laughing together as the younger elf drove them through their quaint little town. </p>
<p>Ian rolled their windows down, letting the brisk air flow through Guinevere. The wind pushed through his hair, chilling his skin but he couldn’t have felt warmer. Music pumped through the speakers and Barley popped the tab of another beer. </p>
<p>“Ah, this is amazing!” The older elf cheered, “just two bros, and a noble steed,” he said petting the dashboard. Ian chuckled, rolling the windows back up. It had gotten pretty cold and the stereo was already deafening enough without the help of the wind rushing in his ears. </p>
<p>They had driven for a little longer before approaching a gas station that seemed to be closed. </p>
<p>“Ope, stop here for a second, I gotta pee,” Barley slurred. </p>
<p>Ian slowed down hesitantly, “Barley, they’re closed,” he said. Barley just laughed. </p>
<p>“I’m not goin’ in, I just gotta get out so I can go. Unless you want me to go right here,” he drunkenly rambled. For the first time that night Ian felt a little at unease. Still he stopped, parking in the parking lot of the gas station. </p>
<p>“No, that’s okay, I’ll wait right here,” he said quickly. He kept the van running as Barley hopped out. Ian waited patiently in the driver’s seat, willing away his anxiety. </p>
<p>‘It’s fine, he’s just going to the bathroom, he’s had a lot to drink tonight,’ Ian thought to himself. But that’s the thing isn’t it? Why should he trust a drunk Barley over a sober one? Wouldn’t he be more impulsive now? And suddenly another chill came over the small elf. He always told himself that if Barley wanted him out of the house, he’d get him out and what had he done tonight?</p>
<p>Feeling sick to his stomach, Ian squirmed in his chair. He’s overreacting, he knows he is. </p>
<p>Barley hopped back into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut. </p>
<p>“Well, I feel better. Gonna have to go again in twenty minutes though. You know what they say, ‘don’t break the seal,’” he laughed. Ian felt a little relief as he went to shift the car back into drive. But a hand stopped him. </p>
<p>“Wait, I just... I’m having a really good time,” Barley said quietly. Ian gave a weak smile, still nervous. </p>
<p>“Yeah, me too,” he nodded. </p>
<p>“Like, we really needed this. To just get away,” Barley continued. Ian furrowed his brow, still trying to keep a smile. </p>
<p>“Yeah..” he agreed. His body froze when Barley reached to turn the keys, shutting off the engine. There was a moment of silence between them, Ian refusing to look up at Barley because he didn’t want to see if he had that hungry look in his eyes. </p>
<p>He knew he shouldn’t have pulled over, he knew he shouldn’t have gotten back into this van. </p>
<p>Ian remembers briefly thinking, ‘I should have stayed at home,’ before Barley is grabbing him. </p>
<p>“Barley, wait!” He shrieks, but he’s so small and it takes absolutely no effort for Barley to lift him. But he tries, he’s pushing against him with all his might but to no avail. </p>
<p>“Just c’mere, I’m trying to talk to you,” Barley slurs. Ian’s squirming every which way he can, his heart pounding. </p>
<p>“Y-you can talk to me in my chair,” he stutters. Finally, he manages to slip out of the older elf’s hands, pressing himself against the driver’s side door in attempt to be as far from the other man as possible. </p>
<p>But it’s no use, Barley just gets up and looms over him, “Ian... just listen for a second,” he mumbles. Ian can feel tears forming and his heart pumping like it’s going to beat of his chest. </p>
<p>“‘M trying to tell you that I’ve really enjoyed our time together,” Barley says. He pulls Ian closer, a hand wrapped around his back so he can’t push away, the other finding its way between the younger man’s thighs. </p>
<p>“Please,” Ian whimpers. He tries to push away, he tries so hard but he’s not strong enough. Barley adjusts his hand that was wrapped around Ian to grab at his arm tightly, the other unbuttons his jeans sloppily. </p>
<p>“You are so beautiful,” he mumbled. Ian knows he isn’t all there in the moment, but he’s so scared and knowing there’s nothing he can do to stop him just makes him sob harder. The hand squeezing his arm is going to leave bruises it’s so tight, and the other hand reaching into his jeans makes him sick to his stomach. </p>
<p>“Y-you’re hurting me, just l-let me go, please,” He begs. </p>
<p>“It’s okay, Ian, just hold still,” Barley soothes. His hand is shoved into the smaller elf’s jeans but still over his boxers, just feeling him up. Ian goes limp because he’s already tired of fighting and he knows that there’s just no point anymore. He grips Barley’s sweater and tries to press his thighs together in a last attempt to fight. </p>
<p>It really hits him hard when he thinks about the fact that every time he looks at their Winterfest photos that will inevitably be framed he’s going to think of this night and how the last little bit of trust he had in his brother had been betrayed. </p>
<p>Ian squirms again as pain shoots through his arm, “Barley, please,” he whimpers and his hand moved to try and pry the fingers that are gripping him away. Why does he have to squeeze so hard?</p>
<p>But, Barley’s rubbing and he can feel his body start to react, so he lets a sob escape him. And then the older elf is sliding his hand beneath the waste band of his underwear and Ian lets out a breath. </p>
<p>He hates that there’s pleasure behind his brothers movements. But in the moment all he can think about is how he must have deserved this. He knew what could happen if he was alone with the older man, he just doesn’t learn. </p>
<p>“See, it feels good,” Barley said quietly. Ian felt the shame begin to burn in his stomach and more tears fell. </p>
<p>“Please, stop,” he muttered. It was a weak attempt, but it’s all he had left in him. But Barley continued, stroking him softly and bringing out unwanted moans. His arm adjusting once more to wrap around the younger Lightfoot, releasing him from the iron grip and pulling him close like he was hugging him. Ian just rested his head of the larger elf’s shoulder in defeat. </p>
<p>The younger man shuddered, shame washing over him once more. </p>
<p>Suddenly, the hand is pulling away and he’s being lifted again.</p>
<p>He’s shoved roughly towards the back, tripping over his own legs. Barley digs around for something in the glove box and he’s back on top of him before Ian can push himself up. </p>
<p>The larger man pulls him up and bends him over the wooden bench in front of him and Ian feels a wave of nausea hit him as his jeans are pulled down hard. More tears fall, and he’s shaking so badly. </p>
<p>Later in his life he’ll see a video of a woman having her clothes torn off and he’ll wonder how that could ever bring pleasure to anyone, because in his experience it just hurts. </p>
<p>All he can do is brace himself as Barley works on opening him up. He tries to block it out by counting the tiny light bulbs of the little string lights that illuminate the van dimly. </p>
<p>Too quickly, he feels a hand run through his hair, grabbing a fistful of his deep blue locks. Barley is pushing in and it hurts. </p>
<p>“N-no,” Ian says under his breath, trying to pull himself away but his brother just hushes him sweetly. </p>
<p>“I wanna st-stop, please,” it’s impossible to stop the next flood of tears that escape him. The hand in his hair is petting gently and it’s almost comforting. Ian drops his head into his arms and just waits for it to be over. </p>
<p>Barley had lost all control of himself a while ago. He can’t stop, he needed this so badly. His earlier escapade with What’s-her-face just wasn’t enough. So he ignores the fact that Ian is quietly sobbing beneath him and just tries to concentrate on finishing for his sake. </p>
<p>The beer is really catching up to him. </p>
<p>But Ian’s skin is soft under his hand and his hair is thick between his fingers. He does eventually finish and it’s much more satisfying this time, even if it did take quite a while and Ian is just completely limp by the time he pulls out and situates his clothes. </p>
<p>Ian slumped as he moved to grab a towel out of the glove box. He always cleans him up, it’s the least he can do. </p>
<p>The high of sex is leaving his brain and pain blooms in his heart as Ian flinches away from his touch. He looked absolutely wrecked, like there was no piece of him left inside his frail body. </p>
<p>They don’t say anything to each other. Barley just leans down to kiss his brother’s forehead, the self hatred and disgust returning to fill his being. </p>
<p>He helps Ian pull his pants back up, and he’s in the driver’s seat even though he really shouldn’t be driving. Ian was still laying in the back, curled up in a little ball of the floor. </p>
<p>He wonders briefly if maybe he should just drive them into oncoming traffic for both their sakes. But he doesn’t, and they head home in silence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Look, I just sat here and read it too. And yeah, maybe I should stop listening to sad music when I write but, *sighs* it wouldn’t matter. I’m afraid I must destroy everything I touch. </p>
<p>That being said, I’m gonna shift a little into Barley’s point of view in the next few chapters.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this one’s a bit long. I felt like it was necessary to like go over how they handle aftermath- more specifically Barley. </p>
<p>I’m thinking 17 chapters?? I’m feeling good about that number. The odd ones are my fave. </p>
<p>Also, Mama Lightfoot makes an appearance and as I’ve said before: </p>
<p>Our boys loooovvvee their mama &gt;:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley knows he’s fucked up when Ian remains motionless in the back as he parks in their driveway. The ride home had all but sobered him up as he had listened to the quiet sniffles coming from the small elf in the back. </p>
<p>The lights were off in the house, indicating the party was over and he hoped his mother hadn’t waited up for them because Ian really didn’t look that good. </p>
<p>The taller elf got out to go around the van and pull the rear doors open, reaching for the smaller man and sliding him to the edge of the van. He pulled him up so the he was sitting, legs dangly limply outside of the vehicle. </p>
<p>Oh, fuck. </p>
<p>“Ian?” Barley whispers. Ian looks like he’s either on the verge of throwing up or just being on the brink of losing it completely. </p>
<p>“Ian, talk to me,” Barley pleads. The younger Lightfoot just stared blankly at the ground, his eyes glassy and empty. </p>
<p>Barley panics a little because he can’t take Ian inside like this. The smaller man is quite literally broken and Barley can see that something has just disconnected inside him. </p>
<p>He looked around, trying to just think because all he wants is a reaction out of his little brother but, nothing. </p>
<p>His eyes fall on a blanket that had been thrown into the back of Guinevere who knows how long ago and he grabs it, wrapping it around Ian’s shoulders tightly hoping that he might find some comfort in the fabric’s embrace. </p>
<p>This gets him a single tear that slides down Ian’s cheek and drops onto the blanket, leaving a tiny wet droplet that darkens the fabric. </p>
<p>His heart’s racing and he’s about to start freaking out. </p>
<p>Finally, Ian moves a little, his eyes blinking a few times before he sniffs and shifts to look down at his lap. </p>
<p>“Are we home?” he asks quietly. Barley lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah we’re home,” he’s so relieved but at the same time, Ian just doesn’t look good and it’s starting to scare the older man. Ian just nods in understanding and pulls the blanket around him tighter. </p>
<p>“I-“ Ian begins but his voice is so tight that he can’t force the words out. Barley leans in so he can hear him better. </p>
<p>“What?” He speaks softly and watches Ian knit his brows together as he tries to find his words. </p>
<p>“I thought i-it was gonna be different this time,” his voice is barely a whisper, but it’s enough to make Barley’s stomach flip. He needed to get Ian inside, but he was afraid his mother would be awake and she couldn’t see him like this. </p>
<p>“You wanna go for a walk?” Barley asked. Ian shook his head weakly, another tear escaping to fall off his cheek and leaving another wet spot on the blanket. </p>
<p>“N-no, I’m just gonna lay down for a little bit,” and he moves back into the van, pulling his body into the beanbag chair that Barley had sitting in there. </p>
<p>The older man watches as the little elf curls into a ball again and he sighs deeply.  There’s no way Ian would be okay by the time morning rolled around and he was going to have to figure out what to say to their mother. </p>
<p>He moves to shut the doors but a small voice calls to him, “can you stay?” He looks at Ian confused because he couldn’t have meant that. Why would he want anything to do with Barley at this point? </p>
<p>“I don’t wanna be alone,” Ian finishes meekly. And Barley just can’t refuse when his little brother sounds so sad. So he nods, hopping into the back and shutting the doors behind him. He sits beside the smaller elf and moves his hand to his little brother’s pointy ear. He strokes it softly, knowing it brings Ian comfort to have someone petting his ears. </p>
<p>Elves have sensitive ears after all, and it helped to lull Ian to sleep when he was a baby to have someone rub them, which was normally Barley. So it wasn’t a surprise to the older man that Ian had drifted into slumber shortly after. </p>
<p>Barley would have to carry him inside later and just pray that he woke up okay. He had never seen Ian look so unlike himself. Then again, he had said something about thinking tonight would be different. It should have been and Barley was kicking himself because things were finally calming down between them again. </p>
<p>He ruins everything and now he feels that he has quite literally destroyed the last little bit of Ian inside this willowy shell.</p>
<p>Still, he tenderly rubs the soft lobe of Ian’s ear and watches as he sleeps. </p>
<p>They stay like that for a while, until birds start to chirp outside and Barley knows he can’t keep Ian out side any longer. So he scoops him up and takes him in the house. </p>
<p>Ian opened his eyes groggily, feeling every step Barley was taking. He had the younger elf draped in his arms bridal style. Ian’s torso was twisted so one arm dangled over the larger elf’s shoulder along with his head. </p>
<p>He could see each step pass behind Barley as he carried him up the stairs. </p>
<p>“‘Wanna shower,” he mumbled sleepily. Barley seemed to pause for a second, not meaning to have woken the smaller elf. </p>
<p>“It’s really late Ian,” he whispered. Actually it was like four in the morning, so technically it was really early. Ian didn’t respond so he continued, reaching the top of the stairs and heading towards Ian’s bedroom. He pushed the door open with his foot and entered, carrying Ian towards his bed. </p>
<p>Carefully, he set the younger man on his bed in a sitting position. Ian rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around, almost dazed. </p>
<p>“You want me to help you take your shoes and stuff off?” Barley whispered. Ian nodded, moving one foot up so his shin was laying on top of his alternating thigh and stuck his thumb into the heal of his shoe to pull it off. Barley slid off the other shoe carefully, taking the one in Ian’s hand to set them both to the side neatly. </p>
<p>“You can’t fall asleep in your jeans,” Barley said quietly, but Ian was already moving to lay down, curling his legs to his chest and shutting his eyes. Barley decided not to push the subject, and he reached to smooth down Ian’s curly hair. He grabbed the edge of his blanket and pulled it over his little brother to tuck him in and left a kiss on his head before he turned to leave the room. </p>
<p>He closed the door gently on his way out, and quietly made his way down stairs. He gasped when he saw his mother in the hallway, looking at him expectantly. </p>
<p>“Where have you two been all night?” She asked quietly. She didn’t seem upset, however she did look pretty tired. </p>
<p>“Got carried away with a night on the town,” Barley chuckled, he walked pass Laurel and into the kitchen with the intentions of brewing a pot of coffee. There’s no way he’d be getting any sleep today. </p>
<p>“You were in the driveway for nearly three hours,” Laurel said, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Barley felt his blood run cold. It’s such a good thing he hadn’t brought Ian inside immediately. </p>
<p>Barley grabbed the coffee pot, taking it to the sink to begin filling it with water. </p>
<p>“Yeah, well, we didn’t wanna wake you when we got home. We were just hanging out,” he explained hastily. If there was one thing he could do right, it was coming up with a story on the fly. </p>
<p>Laurel dropped her arms and sighed, “it would have been nice if one of you would have texted me,” she said as she moved to grab the coffee grounds from the cabinet. She handed the container to her son who took it and began filling the coffee maker. </p>
<p>“I take it Ian fell asleep then?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, poor thing. He’s probably never pulled an all nighter before,” Barley chuckled. Laurel played with the sleeve of her night shirt thoughtfully as she watched Barley set up the coffee machine. </p>
<p>“I’ve been worried about him lately,” she said quietly. Barley looked at her quizzically as he flipped the switch to start the coffee maker. </p>
<p>“Why’s that?” He asked. Laurel let out another sigh before she grabbed two mugs from the dish strainer. </p>
<p>“He’s so high strung all the time, any time I try to talk to him I feel like he’s only telling me half of the truth,” she said solemnly. Barley grimaced, taking a mug from her hand gently. He leaned back against the counter, tapping the ceramic cup with his finger. </p>
<p>“I know something happened with that friend of his yesterday, but it’s not like he’ll ever let me know,” Laurel continues as she scoops a spoonful of creamer into her mug. </p>
<p>“He just doesn’t want you to worry,” Barley assures her. It’s not exactly a lie, but dammit why did their mom have to be so great at noticing these things? He appreciated how invested she was in her sons but it also killed him because clearly she could see Ian was struggling. </p>
<p>“I’m mom, it’s my job to worry. I don’t want you boys to think that you can’t come to me if you have a problem,” she sighed, she moved to hand the creamer to Barley but he declined with a motion of his hand. </p>
<p>“There’s nothing either of you could say or do that would make me love you any less,” she said softly as she set the creamer back down, and if that was wasn’t a stab to the heart. Barley felt himself tear up a bit, thankfully the only lighting was the sun slowly seeping in through the windows. It was just barely over the horizon, so it was just a soft glow. </p>
<p>He quickly shoved his tears down, “Ian knows that, mom,” Barley smiled. Laurel set her cup down and took a step closer to her older son. </p>
<p>“I want both of you to know that,” she said sweetly, “I know you think I’m upset that you dropped out but I am so proud of you.” Barley tried desperately to keep a calm demeanor, but guilt washed over him hard at those words. </p>
<p>If she only knew, she’d hate him. She’d want absolutely nothing to do with him. </p>
<p>“Seeing you take responsibility for yourself, and how well you take care of your brother just makes me feel so good about the man you’re turning out to be,” Laurel continued. Barley nearly lost it for a second, his heart felt as if it was in an iron grip. A tear managed to escape his eye and Laurel let out a little gasp, moving to reach out and comfort him. </p>
<p>“Barley..” her touch was soft on his cheek as she wiped his tear away and it took everything in him not to burst right there. </p>
<p>“I-I’m just- I love you, mom,” he sniffed. Laurel smiled, her eyes soft and she wrapped her arms around him. </p>
<p>“I love you too, don’t ever forget that.” </p>
<p>But he didn’t deserve her love. He didn’t deserve such a wonderful and oblivious mother. </p>
<p>Just like she didn’t deserve to have such a disgusting monster of a son. </p>
<p>But, Barley is a selfish man and he sets his empty cup down and wraps his arms around his mother tightly. Her hair smells sweet, and she’s so warm against him. They stay like that for a moment before Laurel pulls away and fixes her glasses with a sniff. </p>
<p>“Well, I think the coffee’s done,” she smiles, and reaches for the handle of the pot. Barley lets out a laugh and wipes at the few tears that had managed to fall. She held out her hand for his mug and he handed it to her. </p>
<p>Together, they enjoy their caffeinated beverages and watched as the sun began to rise.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh, Laurel</p>
<p>You sweet, innocent fool</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh man oh man oh man</p>
<p>Can I just say thank you for ALL the feedback?</p>
<p>Like I know it’s heavy at times but it’s like my first fic I’ve ever posted so it means a lot that so many of you have joined me on this journey. </p>
<p>I’m in the midst of wrapping it up and I’m kinda sad about it, but hey, everything’s gotta end eventually. </p>
<p>Anywho, please enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley wasn’t going to bother Ian for the rest of the day. At least, he hadn’t planned to. But morning had turned to late afternoon and the younger elf still hadn’t emerged from his bedroom. Barley was really beginning to worry. </p>
<p>Seeing Ian look so small and broken last night had scared him. </p>
<p>He didn’t want to hurt him, he really didn’t. Ian deserved so much more than to be used up and tossed away like a broken toy. What’s more painful is the fact that it wasn’t Ian in that husk of a body last night, it couldn’t have been. </p>
<p>Ian had been laughing at the party last night, his eyes still bright and his smile shy as he spoke and listened to other guests speak. His cheeks were pink and lively from the touch of warmth in that had kissed his skin. The younger Lightfoot had looked at him with a glint of light in his brown doe eyes that made Barley feel so warm. </p>
<p>When they had gotten home, the color was gone from his face, he was sheet of gray blue that unsettled the bigger man and an emptiness to his eyes that made Barley’s gut sink. </p>
<p>‘He just needed some sleep,’ Barley tries to tell himself as he walks up the stairs. He only wants to check on Ian but upon entering the smaller elf’s room he lets out a small breath, looking at the sleeping form curled under scarlet covers. </p>
<p>Barley approaches softly, and when he reaches Ian he gently pets the unruly hair atop his head. </p>
<p>“Ian?” He says quietly. He runs a thumb over the younger man’s brow bone in attempt to wake him slowly. </p>
<p>He kneels down beside the bed and tries once more, “Ian.” This gets a reaction and Ian shifts slightly before opening his eyes a little, unfocused but staring right at Barley. The older elf gives him a small smile, moving his hand to run over the soft skin of Ian’s ear. </p>
<p>“Hey,” he murmurs, “you wanna grab that shower?” Ian blinks a few times, willing the fog of sleep in his brain to clear. Barley watches as his brother’s look of confusion and disorientation turns to one of realization and sadness. Tears are already at the brim of his deep umber eyes. Ian lets out a breath and nods. </p>
<p>That’s all Barley needs to push the blankets away so Ian can sit up with a sniff. His sweater twisted uncomfortably around his torso and his jeans bunched behind his knees. </p>
<p>It wasn’t near as discomforting as the sticky feeling between his legs, but it certainly wasn’t helpful.  </p>
<p>Barley moved to rummage through Ian’s closet for a change of clothes. He wanted to grab something comfy for his little brother so he grabbed a pair of sweats and an oversized hoodie. He folds them neatly before laying them beside Ian. </p>
<p>“I can go start the water for you,” Barley chirps. Whatever helped to bring his baby brother comfort. </p>
<p>Ian rubbed at his face, “is mom home?” He says groggily. </p>
<p>“No, she ran out to drop some gifts off for a few folks who couldn’t make it last night,” Barley explained. Ian’s hands dropped and he nodded absentmindedly. He looks like he’s lost in a daze as he stares almost into nothing. Barley taps his foot nervously. </p>
<p>“Ian? Your shower?” It’s enough to bring Ian back to the present, still the small elf just sniffs. And then he looks at Barley, like a child who had woken from bad dream and was too scared to go back to sleep, with tears threatening to spill and his hands clenching the sheets beneath him. </p>
<p>It’s a look that engraves itself into Barley’s mind. </p>
<p>“Can you carry me?” His voice is so shakey and small but Barley doesn’t hesitate to pull him into his arms. </p>
<p>Ian has always been lanky, his limbs dangle awkwardly for a second before Barley has him bridal style again. Shifting Ian’s weight in his arms, he heads for the bathroom. </p>
<p>He pushes the door open by backing into it, turning to set Ian down on the closed toilet lid. He moves to start the shower, turning the knob to warm the water as it rains down from the shower head. He feels like he should leave and let Ian take care of the rest, but the younger man just sits and stares at the wall in front of him. </p>
<p>Barley grimaced, and kneels down so the his eyes are level with Ian’s. </p>
<p>“The water’s heating up,” Barley tells him. Ian’s eyes move to focus on his. </p>
<p>“I know,” he says meekly. </p>
<p>“Well, don’t wait for it to be too cold,” Barley chuckled. It’s a dry chuckle but he feels like if he doesn’t try to laugh he’ll just end up crying. </p>
<p>“‘Won’t” Ian mumbles. Barley grabs his face for a moment, and searches his eyes for any speck of emotion that’s still lingering. </p>
<p>“Ian...I-I just want you to know that I love you,” he sniffs because now his eyes are tearing up, “I love you, so much.” He just wants some sort of indication that there’s light somewhere in his brother. </p>
<p>He’s sees it for a moment, but something else flickers there too and he can feel Ian tense in his hands. </p>
<p>His mind races to hear Ian repeat those words, he needs the validation. It does seem to snap Ian out of his daze a little bit, and the young elf is pulling back away from his touch. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna take my shower now,” Ian says with volume this time. Barley nods, feeling his stomach drop, and stands. He makes his way out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him and  leaving Ian to simmer in his thoughts. </p>
<p>Slowly, anger crept up the younger Lightfoot’s spine as his mind began to race. </p>
<p>When Barley left, Ian had moved to start undressing. He grimaced as he pulled his jeans down, ignoring the shameful thoughts that threatened to pop up at the edge of his mind. He was extra careful removing his shirt, running his hands over the deep purple bruises on his upper arm. </p>
<p>He sighed, hopping in the shower and grabbing his sponge to begin lathering it generously with soap. He made tiny circular motions as he scrubbed himself, foam painting his skin. </p>
<p>He couldn’t help the anger brewing in his chest. Any other time he’d just be a bit of a wreck but he never felt such venom towards Barley.</p>
<p>Not until he uttered those words that had branded themselves into Ian’s brain. </p>
<p>‘I love you, so much,’</p>
<p>Ian shook his head, scrubbing harder at his skin. For the first time since the events of last night had happened he felt something. It was red hot and it burned behind his eyes. </p>
<p>‘That’s not something you do to someone you love,’ Ian thought. It was enough to make him grit his teeth because all at once he began thinking about every time Barley had hurt him. </p>
<p>Ian never liked to think of the ‘R’ word, because that doesn’t happen to him. Denial makes it’s easier for him to push it down. But, last night flashes behind his eyes again and it fills him with such a sick feeling. </p>
<p>And then Barley had the gall to profess his love, whether he meant it as a brother or or not, it ate at Ian’s skin. </p>
<p>‘He doesn’t mean it, he just feels guilty,’ Ian spits angrily to himself. He moves under the spray of water to rinse the frothy suds from his skin before he continues to glop more soap onto his sponge for another round of scrubbing. </p>
<p>There’s no way Barley doesn’t see and comprehend what he does to Ian, and then apologizing and expecting the younger man to just be okay? It infuriated Ian. </p>
<p>There was one particular time Barley had picked him up after school, but they didn’t head home right after. It had felt like they had driven for hours before Barley parked them under an old highway bridge. </p>
<p>“Get in the back,” was all he had said. </p>
<p>He was so rough that afternoon that Ian could hardly walk when he was finished. And yes, he gave him kisses and praises and proceeded to buy him a milkshake on the way home. Like that was just supposed to make everything okay. </p>
<p>Ian can vaguely remember how he’d squirmed in his seat because even just sitting hurt and all Barley had to say was, “you can’t let mom see you like that.”</p>
<p>It made Ian feel as if the older man only cared for his own wellbeing. He’d say all these things but at the end of the day? He uses their mother as a reminder that makes Ian feel as if he isn’t supposed to have any feelings about the encounters they share. He has to shove it down and pretend that he’s okay so that Laurel can live in her own world of two perfect sons and Barley can sleep at night. </p>
<p>It wasn’t okay anymore, Ian decided. He had trusted Barley last night and once again he’s left to pick himself up and try to fit his broken pieces back together. </p>
<p>But those words, they’d been like a match to a piece of paper. </p>
<p>A crumpled, torn piece of paper that was ready to burn with the first spark. </p>
<p>Ian irately shoved the shower handle down, shutting off the water. He stepped out, ripping his towel from the rack it was folded on and dried himself of hastily. His skin burned from scrubbing but it was no match for the rage he felt thrumming through his body. </p>
<p>He quickly dressed himself, throwing open the bathroom door with such a force that it knocked the wall as it swung open. He hadn’t even been thinking, like his body had thrown itself into autopilot. </p>
<p>Barley had been waiting at the table patiently for him, and perks when he sees Ian emerge. He’s immediately troubled at the fire behind Ian’s eyes as he marches towards Barley’s room. </p>
<p>He busts through the door, eyes searching before falling on the item he desired. </p>
<p>“Ian, what are you doing?” Barley asks, panicked. Barley had left quite a few of his things here when he moved out, and Ian grips the spiked club in his hands and pushes past Barley with out a word. </p>
<p>Barley just follows, shocked as Ian stomps through the back door leading to the driveway. </p>
<p>Ian’s nose flares angrily as he adjusts his grip on the club, approaching Guinevere swiftly. </p>
<p>“Ian?” </p>
<p>The young Lightfoot ignores him, instead focuses on his target with a fire in his belly. </p>
<p>Barley wanted to admit his feelings? Then fine. Ian would show him exactly how he felt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Can someone please hit play on Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats?”</p>
<p>Is.. is that not appropriate?</p>
<p>Trick question, Carrie Underwood is ALWAYS appropriate. But any other country artist is gross and you can’t change my mind.  </p>
<p>Anyway, stay tuned cuz our boi is MAD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oof, this is tab bit shorter than I wanted it to be. </p><p>I’ll make up for it next chapter</p><p>Just pray for Guinevere.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anger boiled beneath his skin as he let out a breath through his nose. Determined, he held the club over his shoulder, ignoring his brother calling behind him. </p><p>So many bad things had happen inside that vehicle. Every time Ian looked at it he felt the same gut wrenching feeling he had years ago when he was forced inside and taken away to secluded areas. Last night had just been the icing on the cake, the last log thrown into the fire to make Ian feel as if he’d burst into flames with how much he hated this van. </p><p>Unfortunately, there wasn’t another avalanche of rock to make this one disappear like the last so Ian had to take matters into his own hands, and after what happened last night it seemed like it’d be easy for him to break every last inch of this little piece of hell. </p><p>His nose was scrunched angrily as he tightened his grip, preparing for the Louisville slugger he had aimed for the drivers side window. His hands shook with the fury that pumped through his veins. </p><p>“Ian- wait a second,” a voice called out, and the young elf ignored him and swung hard, spikes cracking as they collided with driver’s side window, glass shattering and falling away. </p><p>Yep, that felt good. </p><p>“Ian!” Barley gasped. His hands came up to the sides of his head as he processed what was happening. </p><p>He moved down to take another swing, forcing a dent between their portraits that were painted so beautifully on the side, cracking and distorting the picture. </p><p>With a frustrated scream, Ian brought the club down again onto Barley’s painted face, his heart jumping in his chest at the realization of everything his brother had taken from him, and everything he had lost because of him. </p><p>His childhood, a hit and paint chipped away. </p><p> His confidence, another smack and a sob. </p><p>His innocence. </p><p>He raised the club to take another swing but hands were grabbing him before he could make contact with the van again, “Ian, stop,” Barley demanded, tugging in the club to pull it out of Ian’s hands, one arm around his torso to start pulling him away from Guinevere. </p><p>“No- let me go!” Ian shouted, legs kicking wildly to get away. He managed to squirm out of Barley’s grasp, but still the older man held tightly to the club, trying to force if out of Ian’s hands. </p><p>The young elf all but growled and ripped it away, throwing himself off balance and falling into the concrete below. Landing on his hands and knees, the club clattered against the hard ground in front of him. Barley immediately rushed to help him up, but Ian shoved his hands away. </p><p>He was panting hard, and the rage that had filled him begun to dissipate and tears began to fall freely from his eyes. </p><p>“Just breathe, okay,” Barley moved to try and reach for his little brother once again, but Ian dropped to his elbows, grabbing thick handfuls of his own hair as he continued to sob. </p><p>Barley watched the tiny form in front of him, listening to his cries as he slowly fell apart. His hazel eyes moved to glance over at his van, shattered glass littered the ground below the front tire. </p><p>But, the final shot through the heart was when Barley looked up Guinevere’s paint job. The mural of him and his brother, dented and destroyed. </p><p>Barley’s face had been disfigured by the damage, and it spoke volumes to the other man. </p><p>Looking back at Ian, listening to another whimper force itself from his small frame as he came undone, Barley realized that he had pushed too far this time. </p><p>Regardless of the fact that he was the source of Ian’s anguish, Barley pulled his small frame into his arms and held him tightly. </p><p>“I hate you,” Ian cried, his voice muffled by the fabric of Barley’s hoodie. The words sliced through the larger elf like a knife.</p><p>“I know,” Barley soothed, and he rocked gently, caressing the younger man’s back. </p><p>Ian nuzzled into his brother’s embrace, the warmth of his arms were a comfort as much as he hated to admit it. His brother’s hugs were like magical fix-it-alls and this was no exception. </p><p>No matter how much Ian wanted to kick and scream, no matter how badly he wanted to be away from Barley, that was his brother. </p><p>He felt so torn, sobbing in his arms, and the soothing rubs and quiet whispers slowed his stem of tears until he was merely just shaking in the older man’s embrace. </p><p>He wanted to destroy Guinevere, like he had been destroyed. He wanted to push Barley away and make him feel just an ounce of the pain the Ian felt every day. </p><p>But he couldn’t. </p><p>This is something that he has to accept as normal, because he doesn’t want to lose Barley.</p><p>This pain is more bearable that the hurt of not having his brother. So, Ian grips the fabric of Barley’s shirt tighter, and presses himself closer, a quiet sob leaving his lips once more. </p><p>“Ian?” Barley whispered, “we gotta go inside before mom gets home.” Ian tensed, another wave of hot tears escaping his eyes at the mention of their mother and dampening Barely’s hoodie. </p><p>“O-okay,” He stammered. </p><p>“I can make you some cocoa,” Barley suggested lightly, one hand still rubbing soothing circles on Ian’s back. Ian pulled away, wiping his cheek on his sleeve. </p><p>“Y-you don’t make it like mom does,” Ian teased light heartedly. Tiny hiccups were still emitting from his body, but his anger had long since faded away. Barley let out a small laugh and moved to wipe another tear away from the smaller elf’s face, amber eyes softened and filled with hurt. </p><p>“Are you gonna be okay?” He searches Ian’s face in perplexity, looking for any more signs of anger or distress. </p><p>Ian let out a breath, looking over at the wreckage of Guinevere the Second. </p><p>“M-mom’s gonna asks about your van,” Ian said, moving to fiddle with the strings of his hoodie. Barley nodded in agreement, scratching his head through his beanie and looking at the concrete below thoughtfully. </p><p>“I’ll handle it,” he said, moving to stand and pulling Ian with him, “for now, let’s just get you inside.” Ian tucked his hands under his arms and nodded, following Barley as the made their way into the house. </p><p>He felt dread bloom in his stomach. Later, they’d have a lot to talk about</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Why do I do this to my sweet boi??? He’s so troubled and hurt </p><p>Who am I kidding, I’m thriving in this toxicity xD</p><p>Also, how do you guys pronounce “Louisville” ?? I grew up like an hour away from there (yes, I’m a Midwest country fuck, so what??) so like the only correct way in my expert opinion is “Luh’vull” </p><p>Carrie Underwood is the only one allowed to pronounce it otherwise.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took a turn I wasn’t expecting but like, </p><p>I ran with it????</p><p>Listen I just go with it sometimes. Like I have a plan but like the journey changes. </p><p>I’ll stop rambling. </p><p>Not gonna lie, I haven’t slept at all and I’m a little drunk and oops I’ll read over this later but it’s fine. </p><p>Enjoy my traaasshhh</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things had calmed down after the fiasco in the drive way to say the least. Barley had sat Ian down at the dining room table with a glass of water before leaving to sweep up the broken glass outside. Ian sat quietly, tapping his glass with his finger thoughtfully. </p><p>He was okay, but he wasn’t. </p><p>There was a huge elephant in the room, even Blazey, who had her head resting gloomily in the small elf’s lap, could see it. </p><p>They needed to talk about last night. They needed to talk about him bashing Guinevere and it was frightening and nerve wracking. Ian felt as if he be consumed by the dread. </p><p>Absentmindedly, he moved to stroke the little dragon’s head, finding comfort in the feel of her scales beneath his had. She purred happily, nuzzling into his touch. </p><p>The little reptile perked her head as Barley entered the house, the older Lightfoot letting out a deep breath as he put the broom against the wall. </p><p>“I moved the van so the not dented side was facing away from the house. Hopefully she doesn’t notice,” he sounded like he was talking more to himself. He moved to sit at the opposite end of the table. </p><p>“You feeling any better?”</p><p>Ian looked back to his untouched glass of water, nodding slightly, umber eyes watching the clear liquid intently. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Barley scoffed.</p><p>“Why?” Ian looked up at him, his stomach tightening and he grimaced. </p><p>“I shouldn’t have smashed your van,” he said. Barley waved him off, staring down at the table. </p><p>“That was probably a long time comin’,” he said quietly. With a deep sigh, Barley pulled his beanie off his head and fiddled with it in his hands. Eyes watching the fabric as if he were counting every stitch. </p><p>“Mom’s worried about you, y’know?” His voice was so somber as he spoke. It made goosebumps crawl over Ian’s skin. Barley kept his gaze steady on the hat in hands as spoke, “you should talk to her.” Ian furrowed his brows, confused by the older man’s words. </p><p>“What do you mean?” He asked, his hand still resting atop Blazey’s head. Barley scratched at his chin with his thumb, still refusing to look at Ian. </p><p>“I mean you should talk to her,” he paused for a moment, “about me.” Ian felt his heart jump, and immediately he shook his head. </p><p>“I’m not gonna do that,” he looked back at his glass as he tried to process those words. He could never bring himself to tell his mother about this, it would destroy her. </p><p>Barley finally tore his eyes away from the dark fabric in his grasp. </p><p>“She needs to know, Ian, because I...” he trailed off as if he was trying to find the right words, “I’m gonna keep hurting you, and you deserve so much more than that,” he finished. Ian shook his head again, his eyes beginning to brim with tears. </p><p>“Mom can’t know, she can’t. It’ll break her,” Ian sniffed. Barley sighed again. He felt as if he was at a crossroad, on one hand he agreed. Hurting their mother wasn’t something he wanted, but on the other hand it was destroying Ian. </p><p>“I know you want to protect her, but this is breaking you,” Barley said quietly. He was trying desperately to keep his voice steady as he spoke. Ian felt his anger bubble again, his eyes hardening. </p><p>“I’m fine,” he insisted. </p><p>“You just smashed my van.”</p><p>“Yeah, but-“</p><p>“Because you hate me and you can’t even process that anger properly because of what I’ve done to you,” Barley argued, “you need to tell mom so I have no reason to come back and hurt you again. You need to heal, Ian.” Ian shook his head angrily, hot tears spilling and his breath hitching. That wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be on his shoulders to break their mother’s heart, and it shouldn’t be Barley’s decision to tell her. </p><p>“I won’t,” Ian insisted, “I won’t do that to her.” He moved to cross his arms over his chest and sat back in his chair, sniffling quietly as his tears ran freely. </p><p>“Ian,”</p><p>Ian ignored the older man, staring once more at his glass as if the water held all the answers to his problems. </p><p>If he told their mother he’d lose her, and he’d lose Barley and then he’d have no one. He doesn’t want to be alone and he’s prepared to live with this weight to avoid it. </p><p>“I’m not gonna break her heart, Barley. I’ll have no one left,” he chokes. </p><p>He hears Barley let out another breath through his nose, he can feel his amber eyes studying him intently as he figured out what to say. </p><p>“I don’t wanna hurt you anymore,” Barley whispers. Ian shakes his head, closing his eyes. </p><p>“Then don’t,” he said. </p><p>“It’s not that easy.” This made Ian angry, and he tore his eyes away from his glass to stare at Barley with umber fire. </p><p>“How hard can it be? Just don’t touch me when I don’t want you to fucking touch me,” he said with much more venom than he intended. Barley winced at his words, one hand still gripping his beanie tightly. </p><p>“It’s not like that, Ian.”</p><p>“Then what is it?” Ian spit and suddenly Barley threw his hat down with such a force that it frightened Ian. Blazey had bolted from the table and Ian flinched away for a moment. </p><p>“I don’t know, okay? Sometimes I just need you, and sometimes I really fucking need you and I don’t know how to handle it other than to give into myself!” Barley shouted. He wasn’t upset with Ian, he was upset with himself. </p><p>“I have tried staying away, I’ve tried using other outlets, and I’m disgusted with myself because I love you in ways that I shouldn’t cuz you’re my fucking brother for Zadar’s sake,” Barley continued. Ian swallowed, watching the other man wave his hands angrily as he spoke. </p><p>“So, mom needs to know cuz she’ll make me stay away, or fuck, she may even call the cops but I won’t hurt you ever again. I can’t promise that if you don’t,” Barley finished, taking a deep breath to simmer his anger. </p><p>“No,” Ian refused. Barley gave him a frustrated look. Ian knew that, yes, he should tell their mother. He should want Barley to be forced to stay as far away from him as possible. </p><p>But, Ian didn’t want that. He didn’t want to shove a wedge between his family, he didn’t want to have to bare being treated like glass because his mom would inevitably walk on egg shells around him. </p><p>He didn’t want Barley to have to suffer through the loneliness that would follow being removed from his family. He already lost his father, he didn’t need their mother turning away from him. </p><p>He could learn to live with this, he’s done it for this long. So, he sat up, his eyes stern. </p><p>“You don’t get to ask me to do that, it’s not fair,” Ian said sternly. </p><p>“Ian, you’re not listening-“</p><p>“No, Barley, you’re not listening,” Ian began, “I don’t want to tell mom, I don’t want you to be forced away. If you have to-to hurt me so that we stay a family then fine. I can handle that. I might smash your van again, but I’ll still have you to run to for comfort.” Ian sniffed as another tear slid down the soft skin of his cheek. </p><p>“You guys are all I have,” he cried. This made Barley move to the other side of the table. He drew Ian in his arms and nuzzled his nose into his hair. </p><p>“Please, keep this between us,” Ian mumbled against Barley’s chest. Barley sighed, pulling away and grabbing Ian’s face. His thumb wiping away a tear that fell. </p><p>“That’s what you want?” He asked. Ian nodded, leaning his head into Barley’s large palms. </p><p>“Okay,” Barley whispered. He gave a small smile and Ian felt relief wash over him. </p><p>Barley still held his little brother face in his palms, the young Lightfoot looking timidly. </p><p>Barley wasn’t expecting the smaller elf to press their lips together, and heat flooded his body as he shifted to fit them together more comfortably. </p><p>He should push him away, because this isn’t what Ian really wants. </p><p>He’s doing this because he thinks it’ll fix things between them if he give Barley what he wants and the older man knows that. </p><p>But he can’t force himself to pull away. Instead he melts, and leans into the younger Lightfoot. </p><p>Time stood still for a moment before Ian pulled away, he cheeks pink with a deep blush. </p><p>“Mom’s probably gonna be home soon,” he whispers. Barley nods in agreement. </p><p>“Yeah,” and he moves to sit back at his spot on the other side of the table. Ian let out a breath of relief. </p><p>This was okay, he thought.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>bRUH</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oooffff y’all aren’t ready for what I have cooking in my little pot here. </p><p>Anyway, enjoy a sexually frustrated Barley</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley squirmed in his seat, his mind racing a million miles a minute. </p><p>In one hand he was absolutely euphoric. The kiss he’d shared with Ian earlier had taken his breath away. He could still feel the ghost of the younger man’s lips against his and it filled him with such heat. The memory of Ian’s big doe eyes and his flushed freckled cheeks only fanning the flames hotter as the older elf replayed the moment over and over behind his eyes. </p><p>On top of that, their mother had insisted on watching a few holiday movies when she had gotten home, proudly waving the DVDs she had picked up, and Ian was sitting so close to him that his warmth was emitting against the older man, shoulders touching just barely as they sat together on the sofa. His eyes focused on the screen, but his hand would sometimes come to fiddle with Barley’s, their palms side by side on the spot between them and out of Laurel’s view. The touch of Ian teasing the older elf’s hand with his pinky softly, rubbing the pad of it over Barley’s knuckles had the larger man’s heart pounding. </p><p>The heat in the older Lightfoot’s jeans was becoming almost uncomfortable. </p><p>On the same token though, Ian had damn near a mental breakdown earlier, not to mention the fact that he had also been sexually assaulted not even twenty four hours ago. Barley felt as if maybe he shouldn’t be encouraging this on account of those things. He should be allowing Ian time to have space and recuperate. </p><p>It’s just that, Ian never initiated any kind of touch and Barley hadn’t realized just how starved he was for it.  </p><p>And fuck, if these tiny feather like touches weren’t fueling his appetite. </p><p>As overwhelming as it was, Barley pushed his hunger down, turning his attention to the screen of the tv. The last thing he wanted was to do something that might scare Ian while he’s in such a fragile state. Even though every fiber of his being wants to pull the smaller man into his arms and pepper his face with kisses. </p><p>Hazel eyes moved away from the screen, falling once more onto Ian, or more specifically, his lips. </p><p>The softest lips Barley has ever felt. </p><p>Another wave of heat washed over the older man as Ian absentmindedly pulled his bottom lip into his mouth to chew on it softly as he pulled his legs to his chest, eyes still intently watching the screen. </p><p>Barley had never felt those lips like he had earlier. Any other time they’ve kissed Ian would be unresponsive. However, feeling them press against his own mouth, the taste of his breath sitting hot and wet between the plump flesh as his lips separated to slide against Barley’s had the man reeling. </p><p>He needed to stop thinking about them, he needed to simmer these thoughts before he gets ahead of himself. </p><p>The older Lightfoot tore his gaze away from his brother at the sudden click of the tv remote, the screen going dark on the television. </p><p>He hadn’t even realized the movie was over. </p><p>“Well, I think I’m gonna head to bed,” Laurel yawned, moving Blazey off her lap gently, “you boys okay turning everything off?”</p><p>“Yeah, we got it,” Ian answered. Barley was glad he was the one that spoke, he wasn’t sure if he could trust his own voice at the moment. </p><p>The boys bid their mother goodnight, Barley watching carefully as she ascended up the stairs. The silence was deafening between him and Ian as they listened to her bedroom door shut from upstairs. </p><p>Barley felt Ian shift next to him, and the older man waited for the smaller elf to leave, burning holes into the ground as he fixed his gaze upon it. </p><p>Seconds turned to minutes and Ian was still beside him, almost waiting patiently. Barley turned to look at him, umber eyes meeting amber fire. </p><p>The younger man moved so his knee were no longer to his sternum, wringing his hands nervously. </p><p>Ian went to speak, sliding his tongue out to wet his lips before doing so.</p><p>“We need to talk,” he muttered. </p><p>“Yeah,” Barley agreed, his voice tight. Ian watched him cautiously, almost as if he could feel the heat coming off of the older man. </p><p>“We can probably do that tomorrow,” Barley suggested. Ian glances away thoughtfully, mouth tightening as he nodded in agreement. Barley’s heart fluttered at the movement, still intently watching Iandore’s lips. </p><p>A moment of silence passed through them before Ian timidly stood, tucking his hands beneath his arms. </p><p>“Well, I’m gonna go to bed then,” he mumbled. Barley couldn’t help but reached a hand out to stop him as the younger elf began to move. </p><p>“Wait-“ he said, eyes watching Ian carefully. He didn’t want to scare the smaller man, but he could see the glint of fear in Ian’s eyes for a moment. </p><p>“Barley,” Ian swallowed, his eyes wide as he stared holes into the hand on his arm. </p><p>“C-can, can I just have another kiss?” Barley stuttered, his words falling out of his mouth before he could halt them. Ian looked at him nervously before he seemed to gather his courage. </p><p>Slowly, Ian bent, half lidded eyes and a blush blooming over his cheeks. Barley’s heart jumped the second their lips were sealed, his hand slowly releasing from its grip on Ian’s shoulder. </p><p>Ian pulled away slightly, but Barley moved to catch his mouth again ravenously, caution hastily tossed out the window as he pulled his brother into his lap. </p><p>Ian tensed for a moment, body going rigid as he tried to shove down the panic. Fear crept at the edge of his mind but he had to force that down. </p><p>So, the younger Lightfoot reaches up to grab the collar of Barley’s vest and tried to kiss back with as much heat as Barley. </p><p>Of course, kissing was very new to him so trying to find a comfortable rhythm had been a little difficult. Teeth clacked, and when Ian mustered enough bravery he allow his tongue to slide across Barley’s bottom lip. </p><p>He hadn’t expected such a deep moan to quietly emit from Barley’s throat, hands searching for purchase on the younger man’s hips as he shifted so he was straddling his older brother. </p><p>Ian pulled away to looked at Barley, the older man’s deep sienna eyes were dark and lusty. Ian presses in once more, swallowing the nerves in his tummy. </p><p>Hesitantly, he took the older man’s bottom lip with his teeth and pulled, at the same time rolling his hips down to meet Barley’s. </p><p>“Ian,” the older man moaned, burying his face in the crook of his little brother’s neck, unable to stop his hand from grabbing a handful of Ian’s ass, “we gotta stop,” he choked. He was definitely going to need a long, cold shower after this. </p><p>He could feel Ian relax at those words, slowly moving to get off of Barley. The older man stopped him for a moment though, unable to help himself as he moved his hand to the smaller elf’s face, cupping his cheek gently.  </p><p>He ran his thumb over Ian’s plump bottom lip, hunger burning in his eyes as he studied them intently. A glint of mischief glimmered behind Ian’s eyes, and he swallowed before wrapping his mouth around the tip of Barley’s thumb, running his tongue against the soft pad. The larger elf couldn’t help the groan that left his throat. </p><p>Yep, they had to stop. Barley pulled his thumb away, sliding Ian off his lap and he tried to calm the fire in his groin. The younger elf sat quietly beside the older Lightfoot, his expression unreadable. </p><p>“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” Barley’s voice strained, fire burning throughout his body. Ian nodded, timidly before he stood once more and walked to the stair case. The younger elf paused for a moment, turning back to meet the larger elf’s gaze. </p><p>“Goodnight, Barley,” he whispered. Barley shot him a soft smile and watched as the smaller man retreated to him room. </p><p>A sense of guilt washed over Barley, he knew he had just taken advantage of the situation, and it hadn’t been his intention. All he wanted was to hold his brother and show him all the love he deserves, but at the same time it was almost scary how willing Ian just was after what had happened last night. </p><p>The younger man was right, they needed to talk some more tomorrow and figure out where they’re at. </p><p>Shakily, Barley stood, adjusting himself in his jeans and let out a breath. He couldn’t help but be nervous for whatever the conversation they would have tomorrow to hold. He pushed it out of his mind and instead focused on calming himself down. </p><p>Unfortunately, a cold shower won’t do the trick so easily and he knows it’s going to be quite a long night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay but first of all can I just- </p><p>Like I’m beside myself</p><p>Over a THOUSAND HITS!?!?!?</p><p>MY story has been clicked a over a thousand times, like I literally almost peed my pants when I saw that. </p><p>I don’t even know what to feel, I need my freaking inhaler. </p><p>All I can say is thank you so freaking much. </p><p>Please enjoy this next little chapter while I go scream happily into my pillow.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There had been an uneasy feeling that settled in the pit of Barley’s stomach the following morning. He couldn’t help the guilt that he was swimming in as he recalled the events of last night. </p><p>He just felt so conflicted on it. The fact that Ian so willing to make out with him, albeit briefly, was almost unsettling. It made Barley wonder just how badly he had damaged his little brother. </p><p>But, he also didn’t want to let this go. He didn’t want Ian’s affection to stop. It was the most intoxicating thing to feel those lips on his, and the grind of his hips? Barley had been surprised he hadn’t came in his pants the moment that had happened. </p><p>Seeing the hesitation in Ian’s eye though, feeling how tense he was, that’s what bothered Barley. He didn’t know if it was worse seeing Ian struggle to love him back or seeing that he was afraid of the older man. </p><p>He did know that Ian wanted to talk about a few things, it was difficult when their mother was constantly looming around and Barley knew putting Ian back in Guinevere so soon wasn’t going to work. </p><p>However, there was a firework show that their town held every year and Barley felt as if that’d be the perfect time to pull Ian away. Convincing their mother it would be just the two of them though? That was going to be difficult. </p><p>“We always see the lights as a family,” Laurel pouted, pulling milk from the fridge. She was in the midst of baking a desert for a Winterfest banquet that her work held every year. </p><p>“I know, but I just think Ian needs a little one on one time with his big brother, here,” Barley explained. Laurel sighed, setting the carton down by her mixing bowl. She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. </p><p>“How about we see the lights as a family like we always do, and I won’t force you boys to go to this banquet tomorrow,” Laurel suggested, a glimmer of mischief behind her eyes before she continued, “Carol’s daughter is hosting this year so I don’t think you’d feel too comfortable anyway on account of the other night.” Barley couldn’t even hide the blush if he wanted to. </p><p>It really is a pain sometimes how much their mother notices things. </p><p>He cleared his throat, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you’ve got a deal,” he stammered. Laurel looked at him amused and pushed herself off the counter. </p><p>“So that doesn’t have anything to do with your van being in the state that it is?” She teased, measuring out a cup of milk and pouring it into the mixing bowl. </p><p>So she had seen it. Well, he wasn’t going to try and think of any other excuse if that was the conclusion she came too. </p><p>“Yeah, guess I should’ve call her or something,” Barley chuckled nervously. Laurel scoffed, reaching for the jar of flour that sat on a high shelf. Barley moved to grab it for her after a moment of watching her struggle to reach. </p><p>“You should have taken her out to dinner at least, Barley,” she joked as she opened the jar and grabbed another measuring cup, “but you know, I’ve been there to. It was the Springtide before I met your father and-“</p><p>“Alright, you don’t need to go into detail,” Barley interjected with a grimace. He most definitely didn’t want to hear about his mother’s exploits so he moved to walk out of the kitchen, “I’m gonna go check in on Sir Iandore,” he said and he made his way out of the kitchen. </p><p>After making his way up the stairs, the older Lightfoot pushed Ian’s door open, peering in cautiously. The young elf was at his window, watching the outside on his bench. Upon hearing the older elf enter, he turned his head to see Barley and waved him in. </p><p>Barley moved toward him, shutting the door slightly, leaving it cracked so Ian would feel more comfortable. He plopped down on the cushion beside Ian. </p><p>“Mom says we don’t have to go to the banquet tomorrow,” he said, “but we’re gonna see the lights together later.” Ian looked away from his window and gave a small smile, nodding his head. Barley could see that the younger elf was tense and it worried him. </p><p>“We’ll be able to talk and stuff tomorrow,” Barley assured. Ian let out a sigh through his nose. There was no doubt in his mind that Ian was dreading that conversation just as much as he was, but they needed to be on the same page with each other. </p><p>Still, knowing Ian was uncomfortable and nervous was difficult to swallow. Obviously, he had every right to feel those things and Barley wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask so much from Ian. </p><p>It pained him because he knew all of this could be over for Ian in a matter of seconds. It was a thought that made Barley feel sick, but Ian still had every right to make that decision. </p><p>The older man shifted to rest his elbows on his knees, folding his hands together. He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes. </p><p>“You can still tell mom,” Barley said quietly. Ian jerked a little at that, head turning and eyes fixing themselves onto his older brother. </p><p>“We’re not having this conversation again, Barley, I said I wouldn’t do that,” Ian snapped. Barley flinched, not expecting his words to anger his younger brother. </p><p>Clearly now was not the time to reopen that wound, so he let it slide, falling into silence as they sat together for a moment. </p><p>Eventually, Barley got up, the silence felt as if it’d kill him if he didn’t. He left Ian to be by himself, not wanting to bring any more discomfort to the younger elf. </p><p>He still couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. He shouldn’t have pushed things last night. He should have accepted the kiss he was given instead of asking for more. </p><p>He didn’t talk to Ian again that day until they were getting ready to leave, he had called for him at the bottom of the stairs with no reply. Laurel was pulling on her coat when the young Lightfoot came down. </p><p>“You boys ready?” She chirped, grabbing her keys from the hook, not seeming to notice the silence between her sons as they walked out of the house. All piling into their mother’s car, Ian sitting quietly in the back by himself. </p><p>Barley only hoped their mother couldn’t feel the tension that he could. </p><p>However, the Winterfest firework show was something Barley knew his mother enjoyed seeing more than anything, and she was happily going on about how excited she was and how she wondered what kind of fireworks would be set off. </p><p>The show was being held in the park, lots of cars were already parked around. There were dozens of families setting up lawn chairs and laying out picnic blankets in the grassier areas in preparation for the lights. Hot coca stands and concessions were set up along the sidewalk, the smells of fresh funnel cakes and chocolate wafting in the slow breeze. </p><p>The cheerful atmosphere almost made Barley feel better, but Ian was just being so quiet. </p><p>The air was pretty frigid as they walked through the bustle of people, making their way to their usual spot at the fountain that was placed in the center of the park. Barley watched as Ian rubbed his arms for friction, his breath a visible cloud in front of his face due to the cold. </p><p>“You should’ve worn a bigger jacket,” Barley teased, nudging the small elf with his elbow. He was hoping to bring a smile out of the younger man but all this got him was an annoyed glance that made Barely’s stomach sink. </p><p>He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though as they reached their destination. </p><p>Their mother laid a blanket onto the edge of the fountain, this way they wouldn’t have to sit against the cold concrete. She patted the spot next to her with a smile towards Ian, Barley taking his place next so the smaller elf was in the middle. </p><p>The sun had finally receded below the horizon after they were settled, Laurel excitedly chattering about how the show would be starting soon. </p><p>Barley still couldn’t help but keep his eyes trained on Ian, the smaller man sitting with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie patiently. He felt as if the other elf was uncomfortable but he was getting harder and harder to read. </p><p>Barley moved to say something when the loud whistle and pop of the first firework of the night went off, his head snapping to the sky above. </p><p>“Oh, they’re starting,” Laurel said cheerfully, her hand reaching to touch his thigh in excitement. </p><p>Lights exploded over their heads, vibrant colors flashing in the night sky. Barley gazed up in awe at the beauty, watching small sparks flutter back towards the ground. </p><p>Suddenly, he felt his beanie being slipped off his head. He looked down at Ian who tugged the fabric over his thick curls, the young Lightfoot flashing him a soft smile as he did so. </p><p>Barley’s heart felt like the fire works above and relief flooded his body. Had their mother not been standing so close, or the people of their twin hadn’t been around, Barley would have pulled the small elf into his arms for a kiss. </p><p>He had to settle on throwing an arm around his tiny shoulders, pulling him in. The warm of his tiny body pressed against the older man as Ian looked back up at the fireworks, the light from them dancing across his skin. Barley, on the other hand couldn’t peel his eyes away from Ian, who in that moment, in Barley’s eyes, became his own light show. </p><p>Tomorrow he could worry about all of this, but now all he wanted was to enjoy this night with his brother.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Listen I know the festival scene was short and shakey. I’m trying to convey barley’s inner battle with himself and like</p><p> </p><p>Ugggh I hate writing about events</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a quick note cuz it’s mentioned again in this chapter: Springtide is another elvish holiday. It’s basically celebrating the turning of spring and such and it’s like a week long</p><p>Also our boys finally have a little chit chat about where shit stands</p><p>Ps if it isn’t already obvious I know I said 17 chapters but there’s no way this is gonna be wrapped up in such a short time. </p><p>Finally, this chapter may be a little difficult cuz they basically discuss “conditions,” in the beginning. I’m probably just crazy cuz like chapter 9 exists but I’d still like for everyone to be safe </p><p>As always, enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laurel had left pretty early that next morning, she had wanted to get to the banquet early to begin setting up. </p><p>It made Barley uneasy because he was no where ready for this, but as soon as she left he had shared a look with Ian and they had moved to the dining room. He sat nervously at the table, watching Ian intently as the young elf fiddled a little bit with his shirt. </p><p>But, there was a huge elephant in the room, and that was addressing where their relationship stood. This was something both of them had been anxious thinking about for the past few days, so emotions were running a little high. </p><p>“I-I think it’s clear that I need to be the one to initiate things,” Ian said softly, his eyes glued to where his hands were messing with the strings of his hoodie, “I mean, if you wanna do something then you can ask.”</p><p>Barley nodded, he understood that clearly. He knew that he needed to let Ian have more control of the situation. </p><p>“You have to ask though, okay?” Ian said timidly, looking up with his big brown eyes and melting Barley’s heart. </p><p>“Okay,” Barley agreed. </p><p>“I still don’t wanna do anything in the house, but...” Ian trailed off searching for his words, “I-I’d rather it happen in the house than in G-Guinevere,” he mumbled. Barley felt a crack form in his heart at the way Ian struggled to mutter the name of his van. </p><p>“No more Guinevere it is,” he promised. Ian sat thoughtfully for a moment, his eyes wandering across the floor. It really killed Barley that the younger man couldn’t even meet him in the eyes for this conversation. </p><p>This was asking so much out of Ian, and it was painful to watch. As much as Barley welcomed the kisses and the warm touches, he still felt an immense amount of guilt. </p><p>“I’m not gonna be mad if you change your mind about telling mom, Ian,” Barley said, tapping his finger quietly against the table. Ian gave him a look of annoyance, because at this point it was just beating a dead horse. </p><p>Still, Barley felt it was necessary to assure the younger man that he’d never hold it against him. He wouldn’t be upset, he would never threaten to hurt him, just in case that was something Ian was worried about. </p><p>“I’m not going over this again,” Ian crossed his arms, sitting back in his chair. He looked pained as he thought, a grimace crossing his face. </p><p>“Barley?” He asked. </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I’d also like for you to not.. see anyone else if we’re gonna do this,” Ian said. Barley sighed, add Alinor or whatever her name was to the list of his many regrets. He was being really stupid that night trying to fight fire with fire. He knows he was irresponsible about it too. </p><p>“That’s fair,” he nodded. </p><p>“Also when you... when we- during t-the sex,” Ian breathed, his face flushing and his voice wavering, “could you be more careful?” Barley furrowed his brow. He wasn’t expecting to jump into that subject just yet because he knows he’s been rough with Ian. He always tried to make sure he at least prepped him enough but most of the time Ian just squirms so much and Barley would just want to finish as quickly as possible. </p><p>It’s a terrible habit he fell into, he knows he needs to start making sure that doesn’t hurt him anymore. </p><p>“You’re just... you’re big,” Ian continued, “and it hurts.” His voice broke with the last word lips tight and tears brimmed his eyes for a second before he took a breath to collect himself. </p><p>Ian wasn’t the first to tell him that. Most of his sex life was oral on account of not a lot of people being able to take him. There was the occasional size queen twink that would attempt and very rarely succeeded, so he knew maybe he needed to be more gentle with Ian from now on. </p><p>“We’ll refrain from that for a little bit, okay?” Barley said softly. This seemed to soothe Ian a little more, and he nodded in response. </p><p>The older Lightfoot made a promise to himself, however, that next time they found themselves in that position he’d would do whatever it takes to give Ian a pleasurable experience. </p><p>Ian sat up, relief dancing across his eyes. The younger elf sniffed, rubbing the back of his sleeve against his nose. </p><p>“Okay,” he said. </p><p>“Okay,” Barley parroted, and gave him a soft smile. There was comfortable silence that fell over them, Barley was a little hesitant to bring up this next part. </p><p>Still, he had to ask, “do you wanna talk about.. the other night?” Barley watched the other elf knit his brows together. </p><p>“Like... after the movie. O-or in the van?” Ian’s voice wavered as he spoke and Barley felt as if a spear had gone through his heart. He didn’t ever like to think about those times, he blocks them out. So hearing Ian mention it, and the pain in his voice just made Barley sick to his stomach. </p><p>“No, we don’t- we don’t have to talk about the van. I-I was talking about after the movie,” Barley stammered. He was hoping Ian would look relieved, but the smaller elf still tensed a little. </p><p>“What about it?” Ian asked, eyes shifting to stare at the wood of the table. </p><p>“Well, are you okay? I felt like you were upset about it yesterday,” Barely explained. Ian was quiet for a moment, it was almost unsettling. Barley still felt so terribly about that whole situation even though it was probably one of the most erotic things he’s ever experienced, and all they had done was kiss. </p><p>“I wasn’t upset about kissing you,” Ian started, “I-I’ve kissed someone like that before kind of. It didn’t end well.” Barley felt like he understood what his mother had meant when she said she felt she was only getting half the truth from Ian. This sounded like a cover story similar when he’d make up excuses as to why he wasn’t feeling well when Barley was living at home. Still, the older man listened. </p><p>He wasn’t sure why that made him so uneasy. He should be glad Ian had the courage to kiss someone else. </p><p>But, at the same time he almost felt a little territorial and it was almost frightening. He didn’t like the thought of someone else being with Ian that way. </p><p>“I just kind of got stuck on it a little, ‘m sorry I took that out of you,” Ian mumbled, eyes burning holes into the table. Barley breathed through his nose, shifting to lean on the table with his elbow. </p><p>“Can I.. Can I ask what happened?” He said. Ian looked away from the table to meet his eyes, almost nervous. </p><p>“It happened at the party I went to,” he said quietly. Barley nodded, remembering how Ian had stumbled through the door that night looking like he had been through the ringer. </p><p>“T-there was a girl that I ended up kissing and she tried to-“ he took a breath, “she just got a little handsy, I dunno, I freaked out and threw up in a bush,” he mumbled the last part. Barley felt a tinge if anger brewing in his stomach. </p><p>He knew he was that last person that should be allowed to be angry about this. The only solace he found was that at least Ian didn’t enjoy it. </p><p>And shouldn’t that bother him? To think that Ian may never enjoy the feel of someone’s lips? It didn’t, in fact it just made him want to scoop Ian into his arms and hold him until that memory faded from his little brother’s mind. </p><p>“Well, romance under the influence of mead isn’t something I dare recommend,” Barley chuckled. Ian let out a small laugh, shifting in his chair a bit. The was a pregnant pause between the brothers, Ian’s face faltering silently as he thought. </p><p>“Are you gonna be home again any time soon after Winterfest?” He asked timidly. Barley hummed as he thought. He didn’t think Ian would have wanted him to come back, in truth he didn’t really plan to until Ian’s graduation. </p><p>“Not besides your graduation, why?” Barley asked. Ian nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. </p><p>“You don’t have to stay away so long,” he said. Barley felt his heart jump at that. Ian was okay if he came home sooner? </p><p>“I could be back for Springtide, or maybe like weekends? Just kind of depends on my schedule,” Barley suggested.</p><p>“I’m just saying, you were gone for a while and it was because of me, and I just want you to know I don’t mind if you’re home,” Ian said. His eyes look longingly into nothing, “I mean, if you’re home then at least I have someone to talk to.” Barley felt his heart break a little at that. He knew Ian was struggling with his friendships. The poor kid had to be lonely. </p><p>“You can always call me when I’m not home,” Barley assures. Ian shifted his gaze to look at the older elf, giving a halfhearted smile. Despite everything, Barley would also be there for Ian at the drop of a hat. </p><p>Their talk hadn’t been as scary as Barley thought it would have been. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He just sort of figured Ian would have been a little angrier, or maybe he’d be colder but he hadn’t been. </p><p>Things actually felt a little easier between them, and for the first time in a long time Barley actually felt as if they had a chance to have a relationship as brothers again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter is a little peak about how our boi Ian’s handling this</p><p>And maybe something more??? :3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ooooooohhhhh weeeEEEEE</p><p>I’ve been excited about this one</p><p>Also if it isn’t already apparent, I have fallen way deep down the hole of shipping these fuckers and it’s like.. ooffff</p><p>My heart</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later on that day after they had wrapped up their conversation Ian had gone back up to his room, sitting at his desk with his head resting in his arms. His eyes staring off into space as he thought deeply. </p><p>He knew Barley was picking up on his behavior and he knows he was snippy and unresponsive yesterday. It was still just so difficult to find any comfort around the larger elf. He could see that being more open to initiate physical contact with Barley, even if it’s small, was putting his older brother at ease almost. As if it was just that little bit that he needed to put out the flames and leave Ian be for the most part. </p><p>Ian could also see how his distance was affecting Barley, how torn he had been yesterday when Ian had snapped at him. It made Ian worry to some extent because when does enough become too little? When does a simple hug or kiss have to turn into something more? </p><p>These were thoughts that had been constantly running through his head since leaving Barley downstairs on the sofa the other night. So, when he had brought up the kiss with Rivera it was almost just throwing a veil over the fact that he was uneasy about the last kiss he shared with Barley. </p><p>He doesn’t want to throw more fuel into the fire. </p><p>He had been shocked when Barley stopped them, he had fully been expecting things to escalate. So when they didn’t, Ian hadn’t known what to do with himself. </p><p>What was so different now? Ian couldn’t wrap his head around it. </p><p>Perhaps it was because their mother had been just up the stairs, he pondered. Either way, he knew it had gotten Barley hot and bothered, he had felt the evidence of it against the inside of his thigh. </p><p>And that’s when the worry really set in because now they’re home alone and Barley was probably still reeling from the night before. Ian didn’t want to think about all the things that the older elf might be thinking about. </p><p>He has to find a way to eliminate the problem that’s brewing because he doesn’t want a repeat of Tuesday night. </p><p>Having their conversation earlier kind of helped him to see where the older Lightfoot was at, but not really. Ian still wasn’t sure if sexual acts were something that his brother was going to expect often from now on or if he was just settling for what Ian handed him. </p><p>They really should have been more concise, but Ian had just wanted to get it over with. </p><p>Ian felt a cold chill run up his spine, because what if he doesn’t perform those acts often enough? This is why he needed to put out the flames before everything burned around him. </p><p>But just how far was he willing to go with it?</p><p>Ian sat up with a deep sigh, leaning back in his swivel chair. There’s a clear answer to this: Barley needs to get off. It was an uncomfortable thought for Ian, but he knew it was the only way to sort of simmer things for a bit. </p><p>He remembers Barley saying, “the clear path is never the right one,” and that gets him thinking. Clearly he should just let Barley fuck him again and get it over with, but that thought sent a shudder up Ian’s back. He’s doesn’t want to give Barley so much control over the situation because that’s when Ian gets hurt.</p><p>There had to be a way to keep some sort of power. Ian chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully when it hit him. </p><p>He had noticed Barley obsessing over his lips the other night, he could remember the reaction the older man had to Ian merely sucking his thumb into his mouth. </p><p>The thought brought a deep blush to Ian’s cheeks at the realization of how brash that was. </p><p>So, summoning his courage, Ian stood, knowing that if he didn’t take this head on so to speak then he’d have to deal with a much more difficult situation later. </p><p>He swings open his door, making his way to the stairs before descending. He hears a happy trill from Blazey once he’s at the bottom and looks around for Barley. The younger Lightfoot searching, finding himself standing in the kitchen confused. </p><p>That is until the screen door opens and Barley enters, a look of surprise hitting his face, but he smiles. </p><p>“Oh, hey, I was just patching up my window,” he explains with a chuckle. Ian nods, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He decides to shut off his brain, and takes a few strides towards Barley, hooking his hands into the fabric of the other man’s sweatshirt. He pulls him down for a hot kiss, feeling the larger elf tense before he relaxes for a moment. </p><p>And then Ian’s pulling away and spinning them, backing Barley up until a dining chair hits him behind his legs and he plops down, eyes trained on Ian’s in a mix of perplexity and nervousness. </p><p>“What are you-“</p><p>“I wanna give you something,” Ian blurts, gathering his nerves before locking his eyes onto Barley’s, biting his bottom lip with the knowledge of how they made the stocky elf feel and using his foot to knock Barley’s feet apart slightly. </p><p>The deep flush that kissed the other man’s face told Ian all he needed to know, so he dropped down onto his knees in the space between the other elf’s legs, willing the shaking in his hands to stop as he reached for Barley’s zipper. </p><p>Suddenly, large hands were grabbing his and Barley swallowed thickly. </p><p>“What are you doing?” He breathed. Ian looked at him confused. </p><p>“I-I just, I felt how you reacted the other night,” Ian said, trying his best to sound more seductive than shakey, “and I wanted t-to do this for you,” Ian stuttered. It was hard to read Barley’s expression, but his eyes were dark and conflicted, his hands tense against Ian’s. </p><p>Barley knows he should probably stop this, but the fire that had spread in his groin when Ian had kicked his legs apart was raging within him. </p><p>Let’s just say he never believed in instant erections until now. </p><p>It takes everything in him to push Ian’s hands away, “that’s okay, you don’t have to,” his voice sending a chill down Ian’s spine at how low and gruff it had been. </p><p>Ian gave him a confused looked, moving his hands down to his own lap but staying on his knees between the older man’s thighs. </p><p>“I thought... I’m confused,” Ian said, his eyes studying Barley’s intently. The older man let out a deep sigh, moving to lift Ian off the floor. If he had to stare at his little brother like that any longer he would probably give in. </p><p>Ian could feel Barley’s hands shaking on his arms as he was pulled to his feet. It was almost nerve wracking to learn how much his actions affected the older man. </p><p>“Look, it’s been a rough few days, okay? There’s no rush, you can take your time,” Barley assured. Ian didn’t know whether or not he was relieved. Still, he watched Barley stand, the larger elf shifting his jeans uncomfortably. </p><p>“Now,” Barley said, voice still gruff, “I’m gonna go back out stand in the cold for a minute.” He motioned to the back door with his thumb before turning and heading outside. </p><p>Ian stood there for a second, letting out a breath through his nose and replaying the moment in his head. </p><p>Perhaps he shouldn’t dwell on it too much. Regardless of that fact that he almost felt rejected? He was truly experiencing a mix of emotions. </p><p>There was a long pause before Barley walked back in, rubbing his hands together for friction, the cold had tinted his cheeks a bright pink that spread to the tips of his ears. </p><p>“Are you hungry? I could really go for some griffin strips,” he asked nonchalantly as if Ian hadn’t just tried to give him head. </p><p>Ian grimaced slightly, choosing to ignore the feeling that he was being put to the side. </p><p>“I don’t have a car,” Ian said. There was no way they were taking Barley’s van after what happened last time they were in there. </p><p>Barley rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh, “I guess we’ll have to take the bus then,” he moved past Ian, grabbing his keys anyway so they could lock the house up while they were gone. </p><p>“Alright, let me grab some shoes,” Ian mumbled, shoving his mixed feelings down. He really shouldn’t feel this badly, especially if Barley was willing to ride the bus just to make sure he was comfortable. </p><p>He could dwell on this later.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow Ian, it sure looks like them tables are turning</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Our boi is in his THOUGHTS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laurel was home once they had returned from their quest to find griffin strips and peppermint milkshakes. She had greeted them as they walked in the door, rambling on about how the banquet was. The boys happily chatted with her for a while.</p>
<p>As the day wound down and they said their good nights, Ian found himself restless in his bedroom. </p>
<p>He really had to hand it to Barley due to the fact that he hadn’t complained once that they had to take the bus earlier. </p>
<p>Still, Ian was perplexed, his mind racing as he lay in his bed. His eyes were glued to the ceiling as he replayed what happened in the dining room over and over again. </p>
<p>He just didn’t understand. All those times when Barley would grab him out of no where, all those times when Ian had looked into those hazel eyes that had been laced with hunger knowing what was to come, and yet, once presented with an opportunity, Barley had refused him. Again. </p>
<p>Ian had fully expected the older man to take advantage of him, so when he didn’t Ian found himself feeling almost... Rejected?</p>
<p>It was absolutely nerve wracking. </p>
<p>It was emotionally exhausting because it had taken so much for him to build up the courage to seduce the older man, so to say, and then to find it was all for nothing? It was like he was so fired up and then left to just completely burn out. </p>
<p>It doesn’t help that Ian knows what his brother is capable of doing. The anxiety he had felt in those moments before sitting Barley down at the table had been so intense. He should be relieved he didn’t have to do anything because who knows what it could have escalated to. </p>
<p>But there was something Ian could see shifting in his brother’s demeanor. He could see it in the way Barley was beginning to act around him. It should be frightening and disturbing, but Ian was intrigued. </p>
<p>So much so that he had conducted a little experiment when they were out earlier, watching Barley’s reactions to how he’d drank his milkshake at the restaurant. He had made a point to place the straw in his mouth just a touch too far, sucking the thick liquid into his mouth with a long drag before sliding the straw out of his mouth slowly and licking his lips as he sat his cup down. </p>
<p>He could have sworn he heard Barley’s breath catch. A deep blush had bloomed against his cheeks and his pupils were blown. He didn’t comment, just cleared his throat before going on about something completely off topic. </p>
<p>Even on the ride home, Ian had made a point to brush against the older man a few times in an effort to see just what little touches could do to him. Still, he got nothing aside from a deep blush or a stutter out of his brother. </p>
<p>It was extremely frustrating. </p>
<p>The small elf let out a sigh, shifting onto his side and staring into the space of his room. </p>
<p>‘There’s something wrong with me,’ he thought, pulling his covers up a little more. He shouldn’t be teasing his brother, he shouldn’t be attempting to seduce him after everything the larger man as put him through. Yet, he just couldn’t stop thinking about it. </p>
<p>It was also becoming clear that Barley was much more concerned for Ian’s comfort. He doesn’t have to be, Ian has already made it clear to him that regardless of the situation, he’s not going to talk. So really he’s just being courteous in bargaining with the small elf. </p>
<p>That concern for the smaller elf’s comfort though, that’s what had Ian reeling. He felt some sense of power that he’d never had before. Perhaps there was a way to tame the older man that Ian hadn’t thought about. </p>
<p>It left him with a mix of emotions. He keeps going over in his mind about how he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to be sexual with Barley, but if he has to be to avoid another incident like Tuesday then this middle ground is something he has to cling to. </p>
<p>Or perhaps, rise from?</p>
<p>‘I shouldn’t be thinking about this,’ he told himself. He should be upset, angry even, that this is his life he’s practically forced to live regardless if Barley gave him permission or not, because telling their mother isn’t an option in Ian’s eyes. </p>
<p>He should be happy he didn’t have to service the older man, so to speak. This whole thing should be frightening. </p>
<p>And yet here he was, tossing and turning in his bed at nearly one in the morning because he just couldn’t get over the events of today. </p>
<p>The fact that Barley even had the gall to say ‘no,’ when all Ian has done is refuse his touches and still the older man just took what he wanted was almost infuriating. </p>
<p>A sick part of him wanted to slip out of bed and sneak into Barely’s room to remind him that they had talked about this. They came up with conditions to follow so that Tuesday wouldn’t repeat itself again. Ian wasn’t just going to sit like this and wait for Barley to become too sexually frustrated to control himself. </p>
<p>He’s got to be more assertive for this to work. At least so Barley doesn’t keep turning him away. </p>
<p>Ian felt his heart pounding in his chest at knowledge of what he was about to do. Without thinking, he threw his covers away and slid out of his bed. He moved quietly to his door, opening it carefully. </p>
<p>His eyes were glued to his mother’s bedroom door as he tiptoed past it, making his way carefully down the stairs. Cautiously stepping so the wood wouldn’t creak beneath his feet. </p>
<p>He padded towards the hallway, his breath becoming short the closer he had got to his destination. </p>
<p>Once he stopped at Barely’s door, he took a moment to catch his breath, anxiety thrumming through his veins. His hand hesitantly touched the wood of the older elf’s door. Ian closed his eyes, breathing in through his nose and letting it out through his mouth. </p>
<p>He can do this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not even sorry about the cliff hanger. </p>
<p>I love leaving an audience foaming at the mouth &gt;:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ooohhhh what’s Ian gonna do???</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian swallowed, mustering his courage and pushing open Barley’s bedroom door gently. Dim light from a plug in night light in the hallway illuminated the room as the door opened. </p>
<p>It was weird seeing Barley actually sleeping at this hour considering the countless all-nighters Ian had witnessed him pull. </p>
<p>It was funny, for how big he was he looked so small curled up on his bed. An arm tucked under his pillow beneath his head, legs curled to his chest and blanket pulled up to his chin. </p>
<p>Ian approaches cautiously, shutting the door behind him, darkness enveloping him. </p>
<p>“Barley,” he whispered. It didn’t seem to be enough, he took a few steps closer until he could hear the soft sounds of Barley’s even breath as he slept. </p>
<p>“Barley,” he repeated louder this time. He heard a soft hum in response and rolled his eyes, reaching hastily for the bedside lamp and clicking it on. </p>
<p>This seemed to wake the sleeping elf, the older man jerking away, a hand coming to shield his eyes from the light. </p>
<p>“Turn that off,” he grumbled. Ian moved to sit at the end of the bed, watching Barley pull his leg in and resting his elbow on his knee, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. </p>
<p>He was only wearing a dark T-shirt and, from what Ian could see due to the blanket pulled down slightly, a pair of grey boxers. </p>
<p>“What’d you want?” Barley yawned, moving again to grab his phone off the nightstand to check the time, “Ian, it’s one in the morning,” he groaned. </p>
<p>“Since when do you ever go to bed early?” Ian asked. Barley tossed his phone back onto the table. </p>
<p>“One of the many challenges of adulthood is having a decent sleep schedule,” he chuckled, sleep seeming to disappear from his eyes, “now what might you be doing in my room at this hour?” Ian looked down to fiddle with his hands. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep,” he mumbled. Barley watched him carefully, moving to lean back against his headrest. </p>
<p>“You wanna talk about it?” Barley asked quietly. Ian sighed, dropping his hands into his lap and looking off into space. He really didn’t want to bring this to Barely’s attention, but on the same token he felt that it was important they communicate with each other. </p>
<p>“I feel like... We should talk,” Ian said softly. </p>
<p>“About what?”</p>
<p>“You know... what happened at the table,” Ian felt a blush creep up to his cheeks, his gaze dropping to the floor bashfully. </p>
<p>“Oh,” Barely said softly, pulling one knee up to his chest as he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around it. </p>
<p>“You didn’t want me to continue?” Ian asked quietly. His eyes still trained on the carpet below. He heard a sigh emit from Barley’s throat before the older elf spoke again. </p>
<p>“That wasn’t the case, I just- I don’t wanna push you,” Barley explained. Ian looked up at him this time, the dim light giving Barely’s eyes a hint of gold. </p>
<p>“You weren’t pushing me though,” Ian said. He was the one that had initiated that entire interaction. He watched Barley grimace. </p>
<p>“Look,” Barley began, “I know the past few days have been pretty... intense. I don’t want you to do anything so soon after what happened at mom’s party.” Barley looked down at the floor almost sadly. “I know I reacted pretty heavily to you kissing me, I’m sorry if that scared you,” he finished, moving back to rest against his dark wooden headboard. Ian shook his head, summoning his bravery and moving close to Barley. </p>
<p> “I-I wasn’t scared,” Ian stammered, his cheeks growing hot. He meant to climb into Barely’s lap but the older man stopped him by grabbing his shoulders and holding him still. </p>
<p> “Ian, you have to stop doing this,” he warned, his eyes already turning dark with how blown his pupils were. </p>
<p> “Why?” Ian challenged, his umber eyes half lidded as he watches Barley. The older man sets his jaw intently. </p>
<p>“Because you’ve been teasing me with this pretty mouth of yours all day,” His voice was low and quiet, and his hand was up against Ian’s face and his thumb was running across his bottom lip. “You’re not ready for what I want to do with it,” he breathed. His eyes dark and pupils blown. Normally seeing Barley like this was frightening, but Ian felt almost fulfilled by seeing just how much Barley wanted him. </p>
<p>He pushed the other man’s hands away, climbing into his lap and straddling his waist, sienna eyes watching the smaller man with a lusty gaze. </p>
<p>“I-I just wanna make you feel good,” Ian said, moving his hips slightly to rub against Barley’s. A deep groan left the older elf’s throat, his hands grabbing Ian’s hips and rolling them against his. </p>
<p>“You need to go back upstairs,” Barley choked, his grip tightening onto Ian’s hips. The smaller elf ignored him though, pressing their lips together and grabbing fistfuls of Barley’s dark shirt. </p>
<p>He could already feel what this was doing to Barley as he slid his tongue between the other man’s lips. </p>
<p>Suddenly, an arm wrapped itself around the younger Lightfoot’s waist and before he could comprehend what was happening his back hit the mattress. His eyes meeting Barley’s, his breath catching at the heavy gleam of lust that laced his brother’s eyes as he settled tightly between his legs. </p>
<p>Fear silently creeped in as Ian realized their position. </p>
<p>“Can I take these off?” Barley asked with both his index and middle finger from each hand dipped below Ian’s waist band. </p>
<p>Anxiety bloomed throughout Ian’s chest, but he still nodded hesitantly. Barley pulled the fabric down, leaving him in his boxers. The older man tossed the pair of sweats Ian had been wearing and turned back to lay a kiss onto the smaller elf’s lips hotly. </p>
<p>When he pulled away, there was a string of saliva that kept their lips connected. </p>
<p>“You wanna make me feel good?” He whispered breathlessly. Ian cautiously nodded, his hands coming up to rest above his head. </p>
<p>Barley pulled back a little, sitting on his knees. He moved a hand towards Ian’s face, running over the shell of his pointy ears and sliding down to cup his cheeks. His thumb rubbing against the smaller man’s lips once more, slipping between where they were parted slightly. Ian took the thumb in his mouth slowly, sucking lightly. </p>
<p>Barely groaned, moving his other hand moved to slide Ian’s shirt up, exposing the younger man’s stomach and chest. </p>
<p>“You’re such a good boy,” he moaned. Ian wasn’t expecting the small wave of heat to wash over him at those words. He ran his tongue along the thumb in his mouth in response. </p>
<p>Barely’s hand moved to reach into his own boxers where an impressive tent had pitched itself. He watched Ian carefully for a second. </p>
<p>“Is it okay if I do this?” He asked. Ian nodded slowly, closing his eyes and giving Barley’s thumb another suck. </p>
<p>Barley began to stroke himself in time with Ian’s little sucks, the smaller elf pulling off to run his tongue against the digit before sliding his lips back onto it with a small moan. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” Barley groaned, his strokes becoming uneven as he watched those pretty blue lips. He paused for a moment, using the hand he’d been jerking himself with the shove his boxers down and release his cock from its cloth prison. </p>
<p>Ian couldn’t not stare, regardless of the nervousness that grew within him. He’d never really seen Barley’s dick this closely or even in the light. It became pretty clear as to why sex was always so painful. He was surprised it had ever fit inside of him. Still, he encouraged Barley’s release, closing his eyes and moaning around Barely’s thumb once more. </p>
<p>“Oh, you’re such a good boy for me,” Barley moaned, “so good for daddy.” At that Ian felt his body freeze for a moment, heat flooding to his boxers. Upon watching Ian’s arousal grow visibly in his boxers, Barley leaned in closer. </p>
<p>“You like that? You want daddy to take care of you?” His voice was rough and timber and it shot another chill up Ian’s spine. The younger Lightfoot nodded absentmindedly. He felt Barley pulled his hand away from his face, reaching down to push Ian’s boxers down. </p>
<p>The older man let go of himself, hooking his arms under Ian’s legs and roughly dragging him closer. </p>
<p>Ian felt his breath catch as Barley bent down and a hot mouth wrapped itself around his cock. </p>
<p>“Barley,” he moaned. He knew he needed to be quiet, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to soften the moans that kept slipping out of his mouth. </p>
<p>Barley’s head began to bob, one hand moving to disappear beneath him as he stroke himself in time with his own sucking. His other hand gripped Ian’s shirt to ground himself. </p>
<p>“I-I’m close,” Ian choked as quietly as he could manage. His back arched as pleasure began to erupt in his groin. His body shook with each pulse of his orgasm, feeling the muscles of Barley’s mouth tighten around him as he swallowed. </p>
<p>Barley isn’t far behind him, and he pulls off of Ian and with a deep groan he comes too, hot seed pumping out of the tip of his cock and splattering onto Ian’s stomach, one hand still gripping the fabric of Ian’s shirt. </p>
<p>Brain still foggy, Barley pulled his hand away from Ian and tucked himself back in his boxers. </p>
<p>After a moment of heavy panting from each of them, Barley puts his hands on his hips, staring down at the sight in front of him. Ian covered in his release was definitely an image he was going to save for later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Expect a little pause in updates. Mamas been in the kitchen working hard and she needs to BREATHE </p>
<p>That being said, I’m still actively working on this and your patience will be greatly appreciated. </p>
<p>Please enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A deft silence had washed over the Lightfoot brother’s after Barley had gotten Ian all cleaned up, the older man snuggling against the smaller elf in a spooning position. Ian hadn’t said a word since they finished and it was unsettling to the older Lightfoot. </p>
<p>Absentmindedly, he rubbed Ian’s tiny arm, brushing his sleeve up a little. He grimaced as his eyes landed upon the bruises that were starting to fade there, the purple splotches serving as a heavy reminder as to what the younger man had been put through. </p>
<p>Barley didn’t like to think of the ‘R’ word, because that isn’t what happens. Sometimes he just hurts Ian in way that he knows is bad but somehow he’s lost the impulse control to stop himself in those situations. He blocks them from his memory and goes on as if it didn’t happen, but seeing these bruises, it was unsettling. </p>
<p>Still, he couldn’t help but relish in the warm body cuddled up next to him. He never gets to hold Ian this way, not since they were little and he was comforting his baby brother from a nightmare. </p>
<p>And yet, in the silence Barley felt as if a heavy weight had been placed on his chest. He moved in closer, curly hair tickling his nose as he held his brother tighter. </p>
<p>“You doin’ okay?” He whispered. Ian shifted slightly, pulling away just a fraction. </p>
<p>“I’m okay,” he said quietly. But his voice was tight and it sent a wave of worry over Barley. </p>
<p>“You don’t sound very okay,” Barley said lightheartedly. The hand rubbing against Ian’s arm moved to wrap around his waist.  Barley listened for a reply but one never came. He felt his heart sink and his mind began to race. Barley swallowed thickly, pulling Ian closer. </p>
<p>“Ian, you gotta talk to me,” Barley pleaded. There was an exasperated sigh that left Ian’s small frame. The younger Lightfoot pulled away completely, sliding out of the bed and grabbing his sweats. </p>
<p>Barley sat up, watching Ian slide his pants on with a hurt expression. </p>
<p>“I’m just tired,” Ian mumbled, “I can’t sleep down here, so.” The small elf pulled at his sleeve, tugging it down to hide the bruises subconsciously. Normally he’d refrain from short sleeves, but it’s not like their mother was awake for him to have to hide his bruises completely. </p>
<p>“I just figured you’d stay for a little bit,” Barley said, watching the smaller man carefully. Ian made a face, wrapping his arms around himself. </p>
<p>“No, I-I wanna go back to my room,” he stuttered. He turned to leave, but Barley was at his feet not far behind him. </p>
<p>“Ian, wait a second,” Barley reaches out for him but didn’t touch. Ian turned toward him with a look of annoyance. </p>
<p>“Look, I just wanna make sure you’re okay, alright?” Barley watched as Ian rolled his eyes, his arms dropping to his sides. </p>
<p>“Barley, I’m fine. I don’t need you to cuddle me or whatever, I just wanna go to bed,” he said. Barley felt a tinge if irritation creep up his spine at that. </p>
<p>“I don’t think I like your tone right now,” he said. Ian let out a breath in disbelief. </p>
<p>“Are you kidding?” He asked sharply. </p>
<p>“No, I’m not, Ian, you came to me,” Barley said, hands motioning to himself to punctuate his words. </p>
<p>“Yeah, and now I’m leaving,” Ian moves to turn back towards the door when he heard a scoff that stopped him in his tracks once again. </p>
<p>“I knew it, I fucking knew it. This was too soon,” Barley said, rubbing his face with his hand. How could he allow himself to just give in when Ian is barely holding himself together?</p>
<p> Ian turned to him angrily, eyes burning with an umber fire. </p>
<p>“You don’t get to decide what’s too soon here, Barley,” he snapped. Barley’s gaze matching his angry one. He could see the other man quietly breathe deeply as if he was trying to bite his tongue. </p>
<p>“Okay, but you can’t sit there and be shitty when you’ve teased me constantly today and then came in here, woke me up, and got exactly what you wanted” the larger elf took a few steps forward, “especially when I told you it was too fucking soon.” Barley’s voice was laced with annoyance. Ian’s nostrils flared, his brows knitting together. </p>
<p>“Why does it suddenly matter whether it’s too soon? Why do you always get to have the final say about it?” Ian asked. He could feel tears of frustration brimming his eyes. To be completely honest, the past hour had him feeling so many emotions. His body felt completely spent and he truly did want to sleep before his mind kept him awake for the rest of the night. </p>
<p>“Because I know you, and I know you’re going to push yourself too far too fast,” Barley argued, “and me? I’m going to take full advantage of it.” There was a wave of fear that hit Ian with those words. It seemed as if a repeat of Tuesday night was going to be inevitable. </p>
<p>“I’m not talking about this anymore,” Ian sniffed, feeling his emotions bubbling to the surface. He felt shakey and nervous at the small thought of their last incident. </p>
<p>Barley’s heart sank as he watched Ian’s eyes brim with tears. He hadn’t wanted to upset his brother, he was just frustrated that the younger man felt the need to put himself in this situation so soon. </p>
<p>Barley moved towards the smaller Lightfoot, his arms reaching. </p>
<p>“Hey,” he said softly, pulling Ian into his arms, “I-I’m sorry. I know this is hard,” he soothed. He rubbed his hand across Ian’s back gently and rested his chin atop the younger Lightfoot’s head. He felt Ian tense and shift his head so his words wouldn’t be muffled by Barley’s chest. </p>
<p>“Y-you just have to trust me like I-I’m trying to trust you,” Ian stammered, a tear rubbing down his cheek. Barley sighed, hugging his brother tighter. </p>
<p>“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. He knew he needed to let Ian have more control, it was just so difficult when all he could think about was Ian pushing himself too much. </p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Ian mumbled, pulling away slightly. He sniffed, wiping at his wet cheek and taking a small breath. </p>
<p>“Is it okay if I go to bed now?” He asked quietly. Barley gave him a soft smile and nodded, smoothing over Ian’s fluffy curls and placing a soft kiss against his little brother’s forehead. </p>
<p>Ian pulled away gently, wrapping his arms around himself again, exhaustion hit him heavily. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you at breakfast then,” he said. Barley nodded, still smiling as he watch Ian turn to leave. He still had a heavy feeling about the events that had transpired, but his mind was more at ease. </p>
<p>Things were definitely going to be rocky for a while, but perhaps they could make this work. With that thought in mind, Barley turned to head back to his bed, happily looking forward to seeing Ian later that morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Barley being all excited to see his little brother cuz like terms be good and shit. </p>
<p>I’m gushing, my heeeaaarrrttt &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m baaaAAAaack </p>
<p>Thank you so much for your patience. I absolutely enjoy writing this but it can be a little overwhelming so thanks for being cool :)</p>
<p>That being said, I am refreshed, recharged, and reINSPIRED. So buckle in or be prepared to go through the windshield. </p>
<p>Also, this is a long one ooofff </p>
<p>And it’s not the kinda juicy to make up for being gone but like, it’s a set up for some juice. </p>
<p>Enjooyyy :)))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian hadn’t gotten much sleep after heading back to his bedroom. He found himself in a constant state of dozing in and out until the sun came up, his mind unable to let him slip into an actual slumber. He decided to slide out of his bed when he heard his mother emerge from her bedroom. </p>
<p>He slid on a hoodie, running a hand through his hair sleepily before making his way downstairs. Blazey running up to greet him at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled, patting her softly on the head before making his way to the kitchen. He immediately went straight to the coffee maker, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and waited patiently for the coffee to brew. </p>
<p>“Well, good morning, sweetie, didn’t expect you to be up so early,” Laurel teased, pulling out a carton of eggs from the fridge. Ian gave her a small smile. </p>
<p>“I had an early night,” it wasn’t necessarily a lie considering everyone went to bed pretty early last night. Still, his eyes felt heavy due to lack of sleep and the emotional exhaustion in general. </p>
<p>He still didn’t know how he felt about last night. On one hand, he almost wanted to pat himself on the back for not completely freaking out. Although, he couldn’t help but feel unsettled at the fact that he kind of enjoyed what had happened. </p>
<p>More like his body reacted to it differently then he expected. It was shameful really, and his head was swimming in disgust towards himself. He couldn’t help the grimace that laced his face. </p>
<p>There was a sick part of him that genuinely enjoyed seeing how easy it was to get Barley worked up over him. It was something he hadn’t known about until the incident in the dining room. The fact that he was finding enjoyment in this situation was frightening to home and it filled him with such a feeling of repulsion that he was almost sick to his stomach. </p>
<p>Laurel must have noticed because she gave him a look, moving over to place the back of her hand to his forehead. He looked at her quizzically. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” He asked, moving away from her touch. Laurel gave him a look of concern, her brows knitting together. </p>
<p>“Just seeing if you feel warm, you don’t look so good,” she mused, pulling her hand away with a hum. </p>
<p>“I feel fine, mom,” he assured, swallowing his nerves and giving her another smile. The sound of the coffee machine stuttering out the last few drops of brew made him turn his attention away from his mom, grabbing the pot and filling his mug. </p>
<p>Laurel chewed her bottom lip, watching her youngest carefully. Still, she chose not to pry. </p>
<p>“Well, I’m making pancakes if you wanna help,” she said. Ian took a drink from his cup, he hummed in approval before setting down the ceramic mug on the counter. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I can do that,” he smiled, grabbing flour from its spot on the shelf. This seemed to put his mother at ease, as she happily grabbed a mixing bowl. </p>
<p>He moved to speak when his body was jerked backwards and a hand was ruffling his hair roughly. A grunt escaped his throat, his hands flying up to the arm around his neck. </p>
<p>“Good morning, fellow Lightfoots,” Barley announced. Ian struggled for a moment, Barley’s iron grip holding him tight. Ian tried his best to swallow the tension he felt building in his chest. He wasn’t sure just how to act around the older man just yet. </p>
<p>“Let go,” he wheezed. Laurel gave both of them a look of annoyance as she cracked an egg into the mixing bowl. </p>
<p>“Let him go,” she warned, tossing her egg shells to the side. </p>
<p>“Alright, I’m going to take a shower anyway,” Barley said as he released the smaller man, grabbing Ian’s mug of coffee and taking a long drag out of it. Ian sighed, grabbing another mug in defeat. </p>
<p>“Do you need someone to show you how to use it?” Ian said in an attempt to make light of the heaviness he felt around the older man as he poured himself another cup of coffee. A slap on the back knocked him slightly, dark liquid spilling splashing onto the counter. </p>
<p>“Very funny, Sir Iandore,” Barley said as he moved to leave the kitchen. The older man appeared to be in good spirits this morning, Ian thought as he watched him leave. </p>
<p>“There’s fresh towels in the closet!” Laurel called behind him, shaking her head with a soft smile before turning back to what she was doing. </p>
<p>“It’s good to see you two getting along again,” she said softly. Ian moved to help her, measuring out ingredients and handing them to his mother. </p>
<p>His heart sank a little at that comment. She wasn’t wrong in her assumption that things were getting better, but he still felt so thrown by everything. </p>
<p>“It’s just been weird having him home,” Ian said. That was a complete understatement, Ian felt as if he was still reeling from seeing Barley after so long. </p>
<p>“Yeah, but I think it’s good that you get to spend this time with your brother, especially what happened with your friend,” Laure said carefully. Ian sighed, he knew this was his mother’s way of asking if he was okay. In all honesty, he hadn’t spent too much time thinking about his argument with Sadalia. There had been so much that had transpired since then that he hadn’t really had time to mourn his lost friendships. </p>
<p>It sent a pang to his chest to be reminded of it. </p>
<p>“You know, high school is just a small blip in your life,” Laurel said, turning towards him a hand resting on the counter while the other waved around as she spoke, “you’re gonna go to college and see so many new things,” she moved a little closer with a soft smile, brushing a piece of his hair to the side. “I just know that you’re gonna be so great,” she said lovingly. Ian felt his stomach drop at that. He hadn’t thought about his future much, at times it felt as if he didn’t have one. Still, he painted on a smile and nodded. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” he said softly, he couldn’t help the small flood of tears that brimmed his eyes. He was just so overwhelmed with everything that hearing those words from his mother really hit him hard. </p>
<p>Laurel definitely noticed, her face falling to an expression of worry. </p>
<p>“Oh, honey,” she soothed. This was the second time she had to comfort one of her boys this holiday and it was almost unsettling to her. </p>
<p>Ian pulled away before she could hug him, moving back towards the mixing bowl and swallowing his sadness. </p>
<p>“Lets just finish these pancakes before Barley comes out and puts me in another headlock,” Ian chuckled weakly. Laurel watching him carefully before shifting her glasses and moving over to him with a soft smile. </p>
<p>After finishing the batter they moved to the stove, the smell of fresh pancakes wafting around the kitchen. Ian tried his best to be a little more lighthearted around his mother. </p>
<p>He was carrying a fresh batch of cakes to the table when Barley emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp from his shower. The older man sat at the table and Ian blushed a deep lilac when he noticed it was the same chair he had sat at when Ian had tried to go down on him. </p>
<p>Pushing the thought from his mind, Ian set the plate onto the table and sat beside Barley, their mother not too far behind them with a mug in hand and plates in the other. </p>
<p>Once the three were settled at the table Laurel reached for the syrup as she spoke, “so I have to be back to work on Monday, but we’ll have the rest of the weekend together,” she said, pouring thick liquid over her pancakes. </p>
<p>“They’re making you go back so early?” Ian asked, he felt his nerves spike at the knowledge of her being away. He was feeling significantly better being around Barley by himself but it was still scary at times. Again, he had no idea what the older man was expecting from him.</p>
<p>“Believe me, I’d rather stay. Who knows when I’ll have you two home like this again,” Laurel said, setting the syrup down.  Barley made a face, setting his fork down. </p>
<p>“I promise I’ll be home more often,” he said softly. Laurel’s eyes softened. </p>
<p>“That wasn’t a call out, Barley, I know you’ve been busy,” she said softly. Ian pondered for a moment, recalling his conversation with Barley about him being gone for so long. He never considered how that might have affected the older elf and watching the hurtful expression on his face made Ian feel a little guilty. </p>
<p>“But, by all means, come home as often as you’re able,” Laurel smiled. This seemed to put the larger elf at ease and he chuckled, a hand coming down onto Ian’s shoulder and knocking the small elf with enough force to make him drop his silverware onto his sticky pancakes. Ian gave Barley a spiteful glare and he picked up his fork out of the gooey syrup and reached for a napkin. </p>
<p>“Well, there’s no way I’m missing Sir Ian’s graduation,” Barley said joyfully. Ian brushed the older elf’s hand away in annoyance. Perhaps he should be glad that Barley is able to act so normal because their mother is smiling at them, blissfully unaware. </p>
<p>“Well, what about Springtide?” Laurel asked, “I think it be really good for you, Ian,” she turned to look at her youngest, “to get out of the house for a little bit.” This had Barley beaming. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’d have to ask off, but, the young wizard is more than welcome to spend his spring break with me,” Barley said cheerfully. Although things were on good terms between them, well as good as they can be given the circumstances, Ian still felt a little nervous. A whole week alone with Barley? He swallowed thickly, a nervous smile gracing his lips. </p>
<p>“Oh, mom, I wouldn’t wanna leave you alone,” Ian said. If Barley just came home during that time it’d be fine, because Ian would have the presence of his mother to serve as a bit of relief from his older brother. </p>
<p>Laurel looked sheepishly down at her plate, “actually, Corey and I were planning a little girl’s trip,” she said. Ian felt his heart sink. Still, he put on a brave face. </p>
<p>“W-Well, we’ll certainly have to talk about it,” he stuttered, giving Barley a look. A quiet understanding seemed to pass through them and Barley nodded. With the weight of his anxiety sitting on his chest, Ian pushed his breakfast around his plate with a sudden loss of appetite. </p>
<p>Nothing was set in stone, and by then he and Barley could be on completely different terms, hopefully for the better. After their talk last night, he couldn’t afford to let Barley see him so anxious. So, he shoved his worries down. </p>
<p>‘Besides,’ he thought, ‘Springtide is months away.’</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do... pancakes have flour in them..??  I’m pretty sure they do. </p>
<p>I should also mention that Springtide is a pretty romantic holiday. Like if an elf was gonna propose, or a couple were to officiate their coupling that would be the time. Spring is a time for growth in their eyes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another chapter fresh out the oven. </p>
<p>I know this story was originally, at least started out quite a bit, in Iandore’s perspective but this chapter’s more Barley centered. I feel like going into his head is going to be really important moving forward. <br/> <br/>Also because he is a BLESSSING to this world in general so. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjooyyyy ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley hoped he had put on a strong face that morning. He could definitely feel the tension emitting from his little brother. But, the younger Lightfoot had assured him the night before that the older man needed to trust him. So, Barley shoved his worries down and decided to do just that. </p>
<p>However, it was apparent that perhaps the smaller elf was having cold feet about their situation. He was becoming extremely hard to read but, Barley also understood that this was a difficult situation. </p>
<p>A sick part of him was almost relishing in it though. Knowing that Ian was willing to be with him in ways Barley had thought was impossible without having to force it was beyond what he could have expected. </p>
<p>Like he told Ian last night, he was going to take full advantage of this if he found the small elf to be willing, and that’s exactly what Ian had expressed. </p>
<p>Still, he was going to be cautious. Ian’s wants and needs were still important, but he couldn’t help being a little excited about this new side of Ian that he’s seeing. </p>
<p>So, yeah, he was in a pretty good mood when he had woken up. Watching Ian all morning with a light smile on his face as he remembered how he had him the night before. All he wanted to do was touch and hug and smother the younger man in his affection, but he had to settle with brotherly jostling. </p>
<p>However, sitting in the dining chair that Ian had shoved him into yesterday was definitely something he did on purpose. Watching the younger elf flush a breathtaking lilac was well worth it. </p>
<p>Two could play the game of teasing. </p>
<p>However, when their mother suggested Ian stay with him for Springtide he knew it unsettled his little brother. It was too soon to be thinking about Ian staying with him for such a long period of time and he fully intended on discussing that with him after Ian had flashed him a look. </p>
<p>So, that’s exactly what he was doing when he pulled the younger man out side with him as he was taking out the trash for just a moment away from their mother. </p>
<p>Ian had given him a look of confusion, wrapping his arms around himself to protect himself from the cold. </p>
<p>“Look, I know what mom was suggesting made you nervous,” Barley began quietly, not wanting Laurel to over hear them, “we can talk about it, I was just putting on a face for her.” This seemed to bring a sense of ease to the smaller elf. </p>
<p>Ian nodded in understanding, “yeah, I know,” he said, “we’ll talk about it.” Barley gave him a soft smile. The larger elf watched the younger Lightfoot closely, studying those deep umber eyes intently. </p>
<p>“I know you’re tired of me asking, but are you still okay?” He asked, quieter than how he had just been speaking. Regardless what Ian had told him last night and the things Barley was feeling this morning, he did want to take a step back and just validate his brother’s words. </p>
<p>Ian let out a sigh through his nose, not of annoyance, more of relief. </p>
<p>“I’m-I’m better than I expected,” he whispered. His voice was tight and Barley could see a hint of doubt, but he brushed it off. Like Ian has said, they have to trust each other. It brought a little comfort to the older man to hear that though, and he returned a smile. </p>
<p>“Good,” Barley said with his hands on his hips. Ian returned a halfhearted smile, rubbing his arms for friction. There was a moment silence that fell between them before Ian cleared his throat. </p>
<p>“Is that all? ‘Cuz it’s pretty cold out here,” he shivered. Barley perked at that, turning to the door to open it for his little brother, not wanting him to be out in the frigid air for a moment longer. </p>
<p>The two returned inside to the warmth. Laurel was finishing cleaning up the kitchen, wiping down the sink with a hum. </p>
<p>“I was thinking of inviting Corey for dinner tonight,” she said thoughtfully, watching as her oldest gasped in excitement. </p>
<p>“Oh, you definitely should,” he beamed. Ian rolled his eyes as walked in from behind Barley.</p>
<p>“Calm down, its not like she’s a celebrity,” the smaller man said. Barley scoffed, watching as Ian moved to start putting away dishes from the strainer. It was second nature for him to help his mom with cleaning up considering the fact it’s been just them for so long. </p>
<p>“She practically is, if you knew half the beasts she’s slain you’d see her as the mighty warrior that I do,” Barley said matter of factly. Ian shook his head, sliding a plate into its place in the cabinet. </p>
<p>“She probably thinks you’re annoying,” he teased. Laurel gave a small chuckle at the light banter, shaking her head. </p>
<p>“If anything she thrives in the attention that you drown her in,” Laurel mused. Ian shut the cabinet, finished with putting away dishing. </p>
<p>“Does she even celebrate Winterfest?” Ian asked quizzically. </p>
<p>“Not exactly, but she doesn’t have much family from what I understand,” Laurel explained, “I think it’d just be nice to have her over.” Ian hummed in approval. In all honesty, the friendship his mom shared with the Manticore was something Ian felt was an outlet for Laurel to be herself. Colt was always so traditional, and wanted her constant attention. Corey happily went along with Laurel’s venturesome antics if you will. </p>
<p>Despite what his mom likes to think, she and Barley really are a lot alike. </p>
<p>The older woman eventually left the room to give the Manticore a call, their happy conversation could be heard from the kitchen. </p>
<p>“We could play Quests of Yore!” Barley had suggested happily. Starting a campaign with the Manticore of all people was probably one of the most exciting thing Barley could think of at the moment. A fearsome adventurer like her would a legendary quest mate. </p>
<p>Ian looked at him in disbelief, “you mean you actually brought that game with you?” He asked. Barley scoffed, putting his hands on his hips and rolling his eyes. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah,” he said, “it does me know good to leave it at home. Besides,” he moves to grab Ian again for yet another headlock, “I wanted to be prepared in case of any wizardly activity.” Ian grimaced as he struggled for a moment, pulling at Barley’s arms in attempt to get the older man to release him. </p>
<p>“Barley,” he groaned. In the midst of his struggles, Laurel returned to the kitchen happily. </p>
<p>“Well, it’s settled. Corey’ll be here later,” she announced happily. Barley turned, taking the smaller elf with him as he did so, a large smile spreading across his face. </p>
<p>It wasn’t surprising that Corey accepted the invite, and of course Barley was over the moon. </p>
<p>“Oh, we’re definitely starting a campaign,” he proclaimed, releasing the younger Lightfoot and moving to head towards his bedroom, “I’ll go ahead and set it up.” </p>
<p>He heard Ian huff as he walked off and he couldn’t help the smile that painted his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First I’d just like to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who are following this story. I appreciate all the support and positive feedback. </p><p>I promise I read your comments, social anxiety has me too nervous to respond. Still, I can’t express enough how it feels to know I’m creating something that people enjoy. </p><p>That being said, and I say this only because I feel like it needs to be mentioned, but if at any point this story makes you uncomfortable you are under no obligation to continue reading. </p><p>I know it’s rough, you won’t break my heart. It does kill me to have to say that though when I feel like I’ve tagged this accordingly. Either way, I want everyone to be safe. So please don’t push yourself. </p><p>With that out of the way, here’s chapter 23 :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian was leaned against the island in the kitchen, watching in amusement as Barley meticulously set up his board game. The fact that Barley’s brows were knitted in concentration and his eyes were so intent was in itself a sight to see. The younger man shook his head, moving to cross his arms over his chest. </p><p>“I seriously doubt that Corey is gonna wanna play, she’s been on like, actual adventures. What makes you think this is gonna be appealing to her?” Ian asked. Barley didn’t pry his eyes away from the task at hand, setting a figurine in its place before speaking. </p><p>“It doesn’t hurt to have it ready just in case,” he said. Ian rolled his eyes, moving away from the counter. His eyes landed on his mother who was coming down the stairs. The older woman sighed when her eyes landed upon the dining room table. </p><p>“Honey, I know you’re excited, but maybe have this picked up before dinner?” Laurel suggested, fastening her locket around her neck and tugging her sleeve into place. She had on a deep purple V neck sweater, the gold of her necklace contrasting nicely against it. She also wore dark fitted jeans and a classic black flat. </p><p>Barley ignored her statement, instead perking up and give his mother a smug grin. </p><p>“You look nice, and is that perfume I smell?” He asked. Ian perked at that too, catching the floral sent wafting off his mother. </p><p>“That’s definitely your ‘going out,’ perfume, mom,” Ian agreed, a knowing smile gracing his lips. Laurel gave both of them an eye roll and waving them off bashfully. </p><p>“It’s nothing, I wear it practically every day,” she said nonchalantly. Barley chuckled, going back to what he was doing. </p><p>“Whatever you say,” he said in a sing song voice. Ignoring her eldest’s remark, Laurel pulled a few items from the cabinet. </p><p>“She’ll be here in a little bit,” Laurel began, brushing off her son’s comments with ease. She was used to their teasing by now, thick skin is a perk that comes with being the mother of only boys. </p><p>“You want me to move my van?” Barley asked, stepping away from the table. Laurel waved him off. </p><p>“I don’t think that’ll be necessary, sweetie, I think she’s flying over,” Laurel said. Barley shrugged, grabbing his keys from the table anyway. </p><p>“I’ll move it just in case,” he said, more to himself than anything. Once he was out of the room Ian stepped forward shaking his head in amusement. </p><p>“How crushed do you think he’s gonna be when he realizes he set up his game for nothing?” Ian chuckled. His mother shrugged, setting out a few things for the dinner she was preparing later. </p><p>“I think he’ll just be happy to talk to her,” Laurel mused. Ian moved to respond when there was a thunk outside their front door. Blazey perked up from her bed and bolted to the living room.</p><p>Suddenly, the front door was bursting open and an excited Corey emerged, holding a few gift boxes in her arms and a bottle of wine that was finished with a bow. Blazey darted towards the door to wrap herself around the Manticore’s feet excitedly. </p><p>“I come bearing gifts!” She said boisterously, bashfully retreating and scrunching so her form was smaller, “that’s what this holiday is all about, right?” Laurel smiled, waving her off and shooing Blazey from the room. </p><p>“It’s more or less about spending time together,” she chuckled, shutting the door behind the Manticore. Ian moved closer, following behind his mother and greeting Corey with a smile. </p><p>“Well, this is for you,” Corey hand the bottle of wine to Laurel. The elfish woman gladly took it, scanning over the label with a hum. “And, these for my two favorite adventurers,” the Manticore finished, handing both boxes to Ian. </p><p>“I’ll go put these somewhere Barley won’t bother them until later,” the younger Lightfoot chuckled. </p><p>“Oh, this is really sweet of you,” Laurel said. The Manticore waved her off smugly. </p><p>“It’s the least I can do,” she said, following as Laurel headed towards the kitchen. Ian moved to set the small gift boxes on the coffee table, hoping Barley would be too excited about Corey’s presence to notice. </p><p>“I hope traffic wasn’t too bad for you, I know how it gets over the holidays,” Laurel said as she began working on popping open the wine Corey had gifted her, sticking the bottle opener into the cork and twisting. The Manticore scoffed, flexing her wings. </p><p>“Actually, I used the ‘ol wings to get here,” Corey bragged loosely. Laurel chuckled, her assumption in the Manticore’s transport being proven right.  </p><p>About this time, Barley had returned from the outside. A joyful grin spreading across his face as he moved to greet Corey, pulling his beanie off out of habit. </p><p>“Happy holidays, your fearlessness,” Barley said gallantly. It had become more of a friendly greeting that he used in her presence and much less star struck than the first few times he had seen her. Corey happily turned to him. </p><p>“And there’s the other great quest master,” Corey chided, “your mother and I were just breaking into this fine ghost berry wine,” she winces suddenly, looking at Laurel for confirmation, “he’s old enough, right?” Laurel just chuckled and she poured a glass. </p><p>“He’s old enough,” she confirmed, moving to the cabinet and looking back at Barley, “honey, do you want a glass?” Barley slid his hat back on, moving closer and grabbing the bottle to inspect it. He held the opening to his nose, humming in approval. </p><p>“I’ll try a sample,” he said, “‘tis the season.” He nodded the bottle towards Corey who chuckled and Laurel grabbed another wine glass. </p><p>Ian felt his stomach drop at the interaction, remembering the last night Barley had been drinking. </p><p>‘That’s not gonna happen again,’ he tells himself. Still, he had a feeling he’d have to be watching Barley a little closely tonight. </p><p>“What about you, Sir Ian? Care to partake in the merriment?” Barley asked with a smug grin. Ian swallowed, shoving down his nerves and shaking his head. </p><p>“I’m good,” he said, crossing his arms. Laurel hit Barley’s arm with the back of her hand, giving him a stern yet playful look. </p><p>“Would you stop pushing him to drink,” the older woman teased. Barley laughed, grabbing his glass and moving over to the smaller man. He threw his arm around the younger Lightfoot and pulled him close. </p><p>“I just think he needs to redeem himself,” the eldest Lightfoot brother mused. Both the Manticore and Laurel watched the two in amusement. Corey’s eyes shifted, her tail perking up with her as she looked into the dining room. </p><p>Excitedly, she moved, eyes landing upon the game that was spread out over the table. </p><p>“Oh, are we starting a campaign?” She asked, rubbing her paws together. The pure joy that had graced the older Lightfoot brother’s face would have been easily compared to a child in a candy store. In an instant he was at the table, setting his glass down and moving about happily. </p><p>“You play Quests of Yore?” He asked in awe. </p><p>“It’s the only way to have an adventure these days,” Corey says. Barley laughs happily, turning to Ian with his hands on his hips in an ‘I told you so,’ kind of stance.</p><p>Laurel moves from the kitchen with hers and Corey’s full glasses of deep red wine. The older woman sighed, handing a glass to Corey. </p><p>“I mean, I guess one little quest wouldn’t hurt before dinner,” she mused. Barley was instantly grabbing figurines, ready to start assigning roles. </p><p>Ian was baffled, still it was good to know that Barley’s attention was going to be dedicated to this game for a good while. </p><p>“Okay, okay, mom you can be the Fearless Knight- it suits your inner warrior,” Barley started, handing the small figure to his mom. Laurel took it happily, seeming to enjoy watching her son become so enamored with something he found to be joyful. </p><p>“I’ll play as myself,” Corey proclaimed, grabbing the tiny Manticore figure. It looked absolutely puny between the pads of her paws. Barley turned to Ian expectantly. That younger man waved him off, watching the older man’s face falter slightly at the motion. </p><p>“I think I’ll just sit back and watch,” Ian said. Barley pouted, grabbing another little figure. </p><p>“Oh c’mon,” he said moving to grab Ian by the shoulder with one hand and wiggling a tiny figurine near his face, “I’ll let you be the wizard,” he said in a sing song voice. Ian sighed, eyes shifting to his mother who was giving him a look of ‘just let your brother have this one night,’ and he caved. Taking the figure from Barley’s hands. </p><p>“Fine,” he said in defeat. Although, there was a strange warmth that followed with how Barley perked up at that. So, he went and took a seat at the table with his mom and the Manticore while Barley explained how the game worked. </p><p>Tonight would be interesting to say the least.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh man</p><p>OooWEEEE Rick</p><p>I mean it’s JUST a glass of wine, right?</p><p>Still, Barley drinking again??? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a quick little thing here, </p>
<p>“Dragon’s Milk,” is a brand of beer, and yes I’m aware it’s an actual thing. Does it or does it not sound like something Barley would drink though?</p>
<p>Anyway, here’s yet another</p>
<p>Enjoy ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian had sworn off alcohol, he really had but it was hard to refuse when his nerves were eating him alive. </p>
<p>The first campaign was fun, although Barley had tossed back his wine in one mouthful. Laurel had teased him, saying something about, “wine is for sipping,” and he’d shrugged her off. The Manticore polished off her first glass rather quickly as well and came back with two beers and the rest of the bottle. </p>
<p>Laurel was doing a great job working on the sweet wine herself. However, Barley and Corey were quickly enabling each other. </p>
<p>Four beers, Ian had counted. Plus the wine from earlier. Although the older Lightfoot brother wasn’t slurring his words yet, he had a pink tint to his cheeks and the tip of his ears. His eyes were also becoming a little hazy. </p>
<p>The younger man couldn’t help but bounce his leg nervously. </p>
<p>They had just begun a second campaign and already Laurel was defensively motioning to the figures in front of her, “I’m just saying if you always take the ‘unclear path,’ doesn’t that make it the most obvious route?”</p>
<p>“Mom, you’re thinkin’ about this too hard- we literally ran into a centicore last time when you decided to be ‘unpredictable,’ with the clear path,” Barley chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. The elvish woman rolled her eyes, lifting her glass to her lips once more. </p>
<p>Needless to say her dinner plans had turned into ordering takeout. </p>
<p>Since everyone was participating in the drinking, Ian felt even more at unease. Nothing was making him feel any better, in fact he could feel himself sticking out like a sore thumb. </p>
<p>Their mother was going to notice, and she’d start asking questions. </p>
<p>He squirmed nervously. He needs to just relax and breath, but he feels as if he’s suffocating. Anything that could bring him an ounce of relief would be immediately welcomed. </p>
<p>So, when Barley stood to head to the kitchen Ian stopped him hesitantly. The older Lightfoot looked at him confused. </p>
<p>“Are-are you getting another beer?” Ian asked. This got Laurel’s attention, her cheeks rosy from sipping her wine but she almost looked proud. </p>
<p>“I was just throwing this away actually, I’m done for the night,” Barley explained, but his expression molded into a smirk, “why? You want one?” </p>
<p>Ian chewed his bottom lip for a second, feeling all eyes on him. He could take comfort in the fact that Barley was seemingly finished drinking, but... </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, actually,” Ian answered. Barley smiled and gave him a nod, heading toward the kitchen. </p>
<p>“Oh! Grab two!” Corey called after the older Lightfoot brother. Laurel sat back in her chair with her arms crossed, impressed. </p>
<p>“Well, look at you, Mr. Adult Man,” she said proudly. Ian rolled his eyes playfully, briefly wondering if this was a bad idea. He didn’t have much time to ponder over it, because all too quickly Barley had returned. He handed an aluminum can to the Manticore first, who gladly accepted, and then turned smugly to his brother to present him with a beer. </p>
<p>Ian moved to take it, but Barley pulled it away teasingly, “ah ah, first you gotta promise I’m not gonna be cleaning up your vomit again,” Barley taunted. Ian sent him a glare and Laurel swatted at her oldest. </p>
<p>“Would you stop teasing your brother and let him live a little?” The elfish woman chided. </p>
<p>“I take it his last go around with mead didn’t go so well,” Corey said, leaning in to Laurel’s ear. The smaller woman nodded in confirmation. </p>
<p>“I was just happy he left the house,” she whispered. Ian could still hear her and he snatched the can from his brother’s grasp begrudgingly. He popped the tab, looking up to see everyone watching him expectantly. </p>
<p>“Alright, yes, I’m having a beer. Can we all move on with our lives now?” His tone was laced with annoyance. He was already on edge without everyone staring at him. This earned him a few bursts of laughter. Still, he took a sip and grimaced at the taste. </p>
<p>Barley chuckled as he slid back into his seat across from Ian, “Well, you opened it so you gotta finish it.” Ian sighed, regretting his decision already, however the warmth in his tummy was almost comforting. He lifted the can back to his lips and drank deeply. </p>
<p>“Woah, easy there,” Corey exclaimed, “he didn’t mean all at once.” He swallowed setting down his can and fighting through the urge to make a face. He snatched up his little wizard figurine and plucked a card from the deck. </p>
<p>“Alright, lets do some magic,” he said. Laurel pulled her own glass to her lips as she watched her youngest in a amusement. </p>
<p>“Yep, that’s my boy.”</p>
<p>They continued to play on for a while. Laurel and the Manticore finished the bottle of wine and we’re constantly in a fit of giggles. </p>
<p>Ian had pushed himself through two beers rather quickly and was currently working on his third. </p>
<p>It should have been embarrassing that he already felt fluttery, but he tried his best to hide it. Sometimes Barley would look over at him with a soft smile. It was funny to think he was the only sober person in the room. </p>
<p>Regardless of their mother and Corey’s constant off topic conversation that seemed to stem the flow of their quest, Barley sat patiently for them to turn back. He’d even chuckle at some of the things they’d be talking about. </p>
<p>Ian wasn’t sure what it was, but he couldn’t help his eyes grazing over his brother during those times when the two women were distracted. </p>
<p>It was rare to see Barley without his denim jacket, but all he wore now was his Smote hoodie and dark jeans. Without the vest, Ian could see each curve and turn of his older brother. Not to mention, the dark fabric of his hoodie against his pale blue skin brought him out nicely. </p>
<p>The older man must have noticed him staring, because those familiar hazel eyes turned to meet Ian’s foggy umber orbs. Barley looked at him with a soft smile, Ian returned it with a lopsided one. </p>
<p>Before he could comprehend what he was doing, he lifted his foot to slide against the older man’s shin beneath the table. </p>
<p>Barley jerked for a moment, eyes tearing away from Ian to look over at Laurel and Corey. They were still engrossed is their conversation, so the older man looked back at Ian. </p>
<p>Ian had meant for that movement to be innocent, but the way Barley is looking at him makes him think otherwise. </p>
<p>There was a familiar glint in Barley’s eyes and Ian felt his cheeks grow hot. It was almost as if his body had shifted into autopilot and sowly, he slouched in his chair so he could reach better. </p>
<p>His heart was racing, but he found himself sliding his foot up to Barley’s knee. He could feel the warmth of the order man’s body heat radiating through the denim of his jeans and the fabric of his own sock. The older Lightfoot brother kept his poker face, even as Ian moved his foot further between his brother’s thighs. </p>
<p>A deep flush fell over Barley’s cheeks and his eyes darted to his lap. He set an elbow on the table and brought his knuckle to his lips as if he were trying to stifle something. </p>
<p>Ian felt a rush of adrenaline run through him, and he slid his foot up further so the apex of Barley’s thighs, watching the man with hooded umber eyes. </p>
<p>Laughter emitted from their mother, and Barley shoved his leg away. </p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry we got off track, honey,” the elfish woman said turning back to the table. Barley cleared his throat, moving to start clearing up the game. </p>
<p>“That’s okay, we can stop for the night,” he said. Ian could hear a strain in voice, still he sat up and took another drag from his beer that was starting to go down much easier. </p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Laurel asked. Barley nodded, hastily putting things away. Barley glances over at a few figurines and motions at them. </p>
<p>“Ian, would you grab that and help me carry it to my room,” Barley asks. Ian gives him a puzzled look. The older man stares at him intently, it clicks and Ian nods, grabbing a few game pieces and following the older man quickly. </p>
<p>Once they’re secluded in Barley’s bedroom, he shuts the door. He tosses the stuff onto his bed carelessly and turns to Ian. </p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?” Barley’s voice is low and rumbling in his chest. There’s a blush to his skin and his eyes are dark as they watch Ian intently. </p>
<p>Ian licks his lips, looking back to the closed door and back at his brother. He nods hesitantly and its all Barley needs to pull the younger man forward and crash their lips together. </p>
<p>Barley moans, and their lips slide to fit together like two puzzle pieces. The older man dips his tongue into Ian’s mouth, one of his arms wrapping around the younger man’s frail waist. </p>
<p>He pulls away, pupils blown, “you taste like Dragon’s Milk,” he said hotly before diving back down to taste the smaller elf’s lips once more. </p>
<p>The kiss breaks, and Ian blushed deeply. Barley pulled away a little, his expression molding into one of amusement. </p>
<p>“You feelin’ alright?” He teased. Ian stepped back, rolling his eyes. </p>
<p>“‘M not drunk, if that’s what ‘yer asking,” and he kicks himself immediately because he’s slurring his words. Barley laughs, crossing his arms and looking at Ian with a smirk. </p>
<p>“Whatever you say,” he muses before clearing his throat, eyes casting downward, “maybe try and slow down though, okay?” Ian furrowed his brows at that. He knew he was the last person to say he could handle himself, still he was having a good time. The alcohol was numbing and it made him feel warm. </p>
<p>So, he used his best pout and crossed his own arms. </p>
<p>“I’m fine, Barley,” he grumbled. That hazy look returned to Barley’s face, they shifted to the door for a moment before looking back at Ian. </p>
<p>The older man pulled him in again, their faces so close that Barley could smell the faint hint of beer leaving Ian’s lips. The younger elf’s eyes widened for a second, staring into Barley’s lusty hazel eyes. </p>
<p>“Okay, well your little game of footsie at the table got me really hot,” Barley says quietly. Ian can feel the vibrations of his words from his chest  “You said I could ask for stuff and I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that if you let yourself get too boozed up,” he finished. </p>
<p>Ian swallowed, his nerves returning but he shoved them down. His eye lids lowered and he dipped his fingers into the collar of Barley’s hoodie. </p>
<p>“Why don’t you let me worry about that?” He whispered. Barley groaned, moving them over to shove the smaller elf against his dresser, his head dropped so that his lips were ghosting over the shell of Ian’s ear. </p>
<p>“I want you in my room tonight,” Barley’s voice was deep and timber and it sent chills over Ian’s flesh. The younger man let out a breath, his heart hammering in his chest. </p>
<p>“I’ll be here,” he promised. Barley pulled away, looking intently into Ian’s glassy eyes. </p>
<p>“Only if your sober enough,” the older man said. Begrudgingly, Ian nodded in agreement. This buzz of alcohol was nice, however he knew he needed a clear mind for such things or he’d kick himself about it later. </p>
<p>“Fine,” Ian mumbled. Barley smiled, placing a sweet kiss to the tip of his nose and pulling away. He cleared his throat and Ian smoothed down his shirt. </p>
<p>“We should get back out there,” Barley shifted. Ian rolled his eyes playfully, waving the older man off. </p>
<p>“Please, they probably haven’t even noticed we were gone,” the younger elf laughs. This gets a chuckle out of the older man, still he moves to the door. He pulls it open for Ian, motioning his hand in an “after you.” Ian shakes his head, moving to leave the room. He hopes their not too flushed when they meet back up with their mom and the Manticore. </p>
<p>If anything, he can blame it on the booze.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Iandore, you tipsy thing you. </p>
<p>Also am I hinting that I ship the mom and the Manticore? Perhaps.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just gonna slide in a warning here</p>
<p>This is pretty dub/con so please read with caution. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Other than that, please enjoy ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian had to take a moment to calm his breathing. He stood in the kitchen, it was well past midnight. His mom and the Manticore have long since gone to bed and Barley, the younger man imagined, was waiting patiently in his bedroom. </p>
<p>Ian tapped his foot nervously, eyes darting to the fridge. He knew Barley would notice if he drank more, but he knew it’d help calm him. </p>
<p>He pulled open the door, light from the fridge illuminating the dark kitchen. He pulled out a can of Dragon’s Milk, pushing the door shut. He winced at how loud the crack was when he pulled the tab. Still, he drank deeply from the can, forcing the sour liquid down his throat. Foam spilled from his mouth a little and he wiped it dry once he pulled the can away from his face. </p>
<p>He took another swig, intending on finishing this beer before he faces his brother. It was hard to stomach considering he’s sobered up quite a bit since earlier. He manages though, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. He tosses the can in the trash and straightens his shirt. With determination, he moves toward the older Lightfoot’s bedroom. </p>
<p>He knocks softly before pushing the door open, the dim light from Barley’s bedside lamp illuminates the room and the older man looks up at him from his bed as he enters. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Barley says casually, closing the book he’s reading and tosses it aside. Ian nods in response, shutting the door behind him. He moves to the bed, sitting at the edge. </p>
<p>“You requested my presence,” he murmurs. Barley chuckled, immediately pulling Ian into his embrace. </p>
<p>“That I did,” he confirms. Ian situates himself so that he’s sitting across the older man’s lap. Barley presses a kiss to his cheek, pulling back and raising a brow at the younger man. </p>
<p>“Ian, I can smell the beer on your breath,” he says. Ian rolls his eyes, moving a little so he can place a few kisses against the shell of his brother’s ear. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” he insists. There’s heat pooling in his belly, other than that he feels pretty clear headed. Barley wraps an arm around his waist and hums. </p>
<p>“You sure?” The larger elf asks. Ian nods in response and suddenly he’s being shifted closer into his brother’s lap. </p>
<p>“Good,” he says, pulling the smaller elf down to connect to connect their lips. The older man hummed softly, raising a hand to cup Ian’s cheek.</p>
<p>Their lips crashed together passionately, Barley’s hands cradling Ian’s face. Teeth clacked and wet smacks emitted from their entwined forms. </p>
<p> The younger man found himself moving so that their hips were grinding. Ian’s tongue dipped into Barley’s lips, tracing against the ruth of his mouth. Barley groaned, moving a hand down and grabbing a handful of the smaller elf’s ass. </p>
<p>They broke away, Barley’s hazel eyes watching Ian closely with a lusty gaze. </p>
<p>“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he groaned as Ian ground against him once more. </p>
<p>“Yeah? You gonna just sit there or you gonna do somethin’ about it?” Ian slurs a little, hooded eyelids and his hand gripping Barley’s shirt. It’s stupid that he’s starting to feel a little fuzzy. 

 The older man groaned, pulling Ian down into another wet kiss, his hands roaming over the younger man’s thighs. </p>
<p>“Can I pull these down?” Barley asked, his hands already grabbing at the waistband of his brother’s sweats. Ian swallowed, giving him a nod. Barley wasted no time, tugging at the fabric and pushing Ian off his lap to shove his pants down, taking his boxer briefs with it. </p>
<p>Ian hadn’t expected to be so exposed so quickly, still he shoved his nerves down and helped Barley remove the bottom half of his clothing. </p>
<p>Kicking the fabric away, Ian was back in the older Lightfoot’s lap, connecting their lips once more. A hand groped his rear and a deep groan left Barley’s chest. </p>
<p>Their lips disconnected, Barley bringing his hand up and shoving his index finger into Ian’s mouth. </p>
<p>“Suck,” he demanded. Ian obeyed, wetting the finger in his mouth generously. His umber eyes were hazy and they closed as he moaned around Barley’s finger. </p>
<p>“Gods, you’re gonna be fucking amazing with that mouth when daddy lets you use it properly,” Barley said in awe. Ian pulled off hotly, opening his chocolate eyes and staring down at Barley. </p>
<p>“I can do that for you now,” he says as he reaches for the opening of Barley’s boxers. He has no idea what is coming over him, but he decides to run with it.  </p>
<p>The older man just shakes his head, shoving his finger back into Ian’s mouth. </p>
<p>“Nope, daddy just wants to spoil his good boy,” Barley says quickly. Ian knits his brows, looking down at Barley quizzically. Still, he continues to generously coat the finger in his mouth. </p>
<p>When Barley pulls his hand away, he reaches behind his little brother, gently circling his entrance. He watches panic cross Ian’s face for a moment. </p>
<p>“Barley-“ Ian chokes as the pad of the larger man’s finger presses in. Barley just hushes him. </p>
<p>“Shh, you’re okay,” he soothes. Ian grips the fabric of his shirt with both hands, his body shaking at the intrusive object entering him. </p>
<p>The older Lightfoot presses into him up to the knuckle and Ian lets out a breath. There’s a pause before Barley begins pulling out and then back in. Ian drops his head onto his older brother’s shoulder and squeezes his eyes shut. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s bringing up a lot of bad memories that he works on shoving down. </p>
<p>“You’re such a good boy,” Barley praises.</p>
<p>Ian can’t stop his body from shaking and tears are brimming his eyes. Barley must have noticed because he halts his movements. </p>
<p>“Ian?” the older Lightfoot asks carefully. </p>
<p>“I-I’m okay,” Ian says, swallowing the anxiety that began to bubble in his stomach. Cautiously, he rocks back against Barley’s hand to encourage the older man to keep going. </p>
<p>Barley hesitates, but starts a rhythm with his finger again slowly. </p>
<p>“You think you can handle another?” He asks huskily. The timber of his voice sends a chill down Ian’s spine, the younger man nods regardless. Barley pulls his hand away from the younger man’s backside and shoved two fingers in his mouth this time. </p>
<p>Ian grimaced around the older man’s fingers, tasting his own musky flavor against his tongue. It wasn’t bad, still, it was extremely lewd.  </p>
<p>Once Barley felt his fingers were wet enough, he removed them from his brother’s mouth and reached behind the smaller man once more. He pressed both fingers in and watched Ian’s face contort as he adjusted to the feeling. </p>
<p>Ian held back a moan, instead burying his face into Barley’s neck. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” he mumbles. Barley only presses in deeper, hitting against a spot that has pleasure thrumming through Ian’s body, “Barley-“ he moans. </p>
<p>A smug grin makes its way into Barley’s face as he begins to pump his fingers in and out. </p>
<p>“That feel good?” Barley asks hotly. Ian squeezes Barley’s hips with his knees and keens into his brother’s touch. </p>
<p>Ian begins rocking against his brother’s fingers slowly, trying to gain some friction as he grows more erect. He moves a hand down to reach inside of Barley’s boxers but the older man stops him with his free hand. Ian gave a frustrated moan and instead grabs at Barley’s arm. </p>
<p>“L-let me be a good boy,” he says breathlessly. Barley shakes his head. </p>
<p>“All in good time, sweetheart,” Barley groans, moving his fingers in and out faster. Ian sighs, allowing pleasure to over take him. </p>
<p>“Mmph, d-daddy,” he cheeks flush with color at that and he moves to grip at the headboard as he grinds back against Barley’s hand. The older Lightfoot fists his free hand in his little brother’s shirt. Ian presses kisses to the side of Barley’s neck, moving his hand from the wooden bed frame to reach for the hair at the back of Barley’s head. </p>
<p>He grips tightly, trying to find purchase when Barley freezes and grabs at Ian’s wrist with his free hand. He’s clutching it hard and the smaller man feels his breath catch. </p>
<p>Ian pulls back, eyes wide and all pleasure fading from his body as his blood runs cold at Barley’s intense stare. The pressure on his skin is starting to hurt and he can feel the older man shaking through his iron grip. </p>
<p>“D-don’t do that,” Barley warns, trying desperately to steady his voice. He doesn’t want to frighten the smaller man, but he needs his brother to understand that was something that wasn’t to be explored. </p>
<p>“‘M sorry,” Ian mumbles. The larger elf’s gaze softens and he releases Ian’s wrist. </p>
<p>“It’s okay, here-“ he lifts Ian off his lap to spin him around so that he’s on his hands and knees. Ian feels his stomach drop at this position, immediately shaking his head. </p>
<p>“N-no,” he mumbles. Barley hushes him, running a soothing hand up his back. He uses his thumbs to separate Ian’s cheeks before bending down and running his tongue over the crack of his brother’s ass. </p>
<p>Ian doesn’t expect a moan to escape his throat, but his fists clench the pillows and his body jerks. The feeling is foreign but not unpleasant. Barley hums, the tip of his tongue circling Ian’s hole before digging into the puckered entrance. </p>
<p>“Oh,” Ian moans breathily, reaching up to grab the headboard once more. The older elf’s fingers dig into his flesh as he continues his ministrations. He pulls away for a moment with a groan. </p>
<p>“You taste so fuckin’ good,” and his tongue goes back to work, roughly lapping at the younger Lightfoot’s hole. </p>
<p>“B-Barley-“ Ian chokes, absentmindedly grinding his hips against his brother’s face. The older man just laps wetly before he pulls back. </p>
<p>Ian doesn’t anticipate the light slap against his ass, but Barley lewdly smacks his palm against his ass cheek and the smaller man whimpers. His blush deepens and he tries to look back behind him. The larger elf is sitting back on his haunches admiring his work before shoving his own boxers down. </p>
<p>The younger man swallows thickly when he feels the blunt head of his brother’s cock against his entrance. Immediately, he drops from his elbows to lay against the pillows, ass in the air and fear written across his features. </p>
<p>“I-I don’t wanna-“</p>
<p>“Shhh, I’m not gonna put it in,” Barley soothes, sliding a hand into his brother’s hair. Ian still grips the pillow as if his life depends on it, trying to steady his breathing. It was kind of a lie, considering he can feel the pressure of the stocky elf’s thick cock against him. </p>
<p>The tip of the head breaches, and Ian’s mouth falls open. It’s never been a pleasurable experience and shame blooms in his stomach at the coiling fire in his gut. There’s a burn from the stretch though, and a tear falls from Ian’s chocolate eyes. </p>
<p>“Fuck-“ Barley choked, his other hand tightly gripping his little brother’s boney hip. He moves the hand from Ian’s hair to spit in his palm and stroke the rest of his shaft as he rocks his hips slightly. </p>
<p>Only the head of his cock is inside the smaller elf, pushing and pulling slightly, using his fist as a makeshift tunnel so he can resist the urge to slide all the way forward. </p>
<p>Barley groans deeply, his hand leaving Ian’s hip to grasp at his shoulder tightly as he watches the head of his cock split the younger man’s cheeks apart with each tiny thrust. </p>
<p>Ian feels his pulse thrum, his body feels frozen because Barley is basically fucking him with the tip of his dick. It’s nerve wracking and he’s trembling beneath the larger elf. </p>
<p> Still, the slight pressure causes little bursts of pleasure to pool in his stomach. Barley hums, lovingly running his hand down the length of Ian’s back. His palm slides against soft skin and hold onto the younger Lightfoot’s hip once more. </p>
<p>“Oh, you’re absolutely amazing,” Barley says in awe. The praise helps to soothe Ian’s anxiety. Still the act of being penetrated like this, even if he’s not taking very much of Barley’s length, has tears stinging in his eyes.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Barley pulls out with a huff, one hand is still holding himself while he moves the other to the top of Ian’s ass. His thumb grazes over Ian’s crack and slides into his hole to the knuckle. </p>
<p>It just barely grazes that spot inside him and Ian whimpers, feeling his vision blur as pleasure over takes him. He doesn’t realize he’s rocking against his brother’s hand until his body is done stuttering. </p>
<p>“Holy fuck, did you just cum?” Barley asks in amazement. Ian just moans, feeling the thumb in his ass pull away. </p>
<p>Barley lays the head of his cock at the apex of Ian’s crack and strokes himself, hot cum pouring out of him as he groans deeply. His release drops down the slit between the younger Lightfoot’s asscheeks. </p>
<p>There’s a pregnant pause before Barley scoops up the smaller elf into his arms, turning him so that they’re facing each other. </p>
<p>He dives down for a sloppy kiss, pulling Ian’s bottom lip between his teeth and pulling. He peppers more kisses down the younger man’s lithe neck before coming back up and letting out a breath through nose. </p>
<p>“I love you,” he says. Ian blinks, the fog of sex fading from his brain. He can’t help that his lip quivers and his glassy eyes drop away from Barley’s gaze. </p>
<p>“Hey,” the older man says softly, pulling Ian’s chin gently so that the smaller elf is looking up at him. </p>
<p>“S-Sorry, its just a lot,” Ian mumbles. Barley lets out a breath through his nose and pulls his little brother in for a tight hug. He places a kiss to the younger man’s forehead and smooths back his hair. </p>
<p>“Why don’t we get you cleaned up?” The larger elf asks sweetly. Ian sniffs, looking up at Barley and nodding with a faint smile. </p>
<p>“Okay,”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Taking “just the tip,” to a whole new level </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You’re welcome</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m anticipating 40 chapters sooo</p><p>Listen, the grind don’t stop. I will go down in flaaammmess with this. </p><p>That being said, anticipate a wee break after this chapter.</p><p>And as always, enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley fidgeted uncomfortably. He hadn’t managed to sleep after Ian had left his room last night. He felt shakey, and his third cup of coffee definitely wasn’t helping that at all. </p><p>Still, he leaned against the counter, arms crossed and eyes glued to the floor. He chewed heavily on the inside of his cheek, the tang of blood hitting his tongue and filling his mouth with the coppery taste as his teeth cut into flesh. </p><p>He sighed shakily, moving to run a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose as his fingers swept across it. </p><p>It was ridiculous that he was so shaken, he’s so practiced at projecting his feelings in a positive way. However, the events of last night had left quite stain on him. </p><p>Usually he could power through someone tugging on his hair. It was a common movement, especially when it came to sex so it was boggling that Iandore had gotten such a rise out of him with such a simple act. </p><p>The way he had done it though, it was raw and intimate. His lips had ghosted at the older man’s ear as his thin fingers tangled in his shaggy locks. He’d tugged pretty hard and it bad made the older man’s blood freeze with ice. </p><p>It was far too familiar, that’s for sure. </p><p>Absentmindedly, he rubbed at the spot where Ian had grabbed him. The pads of his fingers soothing the area beneath his beanie. </p><p>It was about this time when Laurel had entered the kitchen. It was evident she had just woken up, still in her night shirt and soft fitted fleece sweat pants. </p><p>“Oh, mornin’, honey,” she said softly. Her eye lids appeared heavy and her sharp pixie cut was a little disheveled. Her glasses were also missing from her face. A smug grin spread across Barley’s face. </p><p>“Drink a little too much wine last night there, mom,” he teased. The older woman just shot him a spiteful glare. </p><p>Barley gave her a halfhearted smile, watching as she made her way to the coffee maker. </p><p>Laurel gave him a worried look, watching as he continued subconsciously messing with the back of his head. </p><p>“Your head okay?” She asked, halting her actions. Barley waved her off, dropping both hands and turning to the fridge. </p><p>“Yeah, it’s fine,” he said shortly, opening the door and peering aimlessly into the refrigerator as he tapped his foot. He can feel her eyes watching him and he can’t help but let his fingers grace that spot once more. </p><p>“Well, you’re never this fidgety unless something’s bothering you,” Laurel pried. He rolled his eyes, not that she could see it. He shut the door of the fridge and turned to grab his mug, pouring the rest of its contents down the sink and rinsing the cup out. </p><p>“I’m okay, mom,” he assured half heartedly. He placed the ceramic mug in the sink, and scratched his head once more. He mentally kicked himself, because now he was just being obsessive about it. With his mother’s eagle eyes watching him no less. </p><p>“You know when you were a baby,” Laurel began as she poured herself a cup of brew, “you were absolutely horrendous to put to sleep.” Barley chuckled at that, moving to cross his arms and shifting his weight in his feet. </p><p>“Your father was the only one who could get you to go down,” the elfish woman set the coffee pot back in place and turned to her oldest, “he’d rub the back of your head to calm you and eventually he’d rock you to sleep,” she explained as she brought the mug to her lips and sipped. Barley swallowed, he didn’t have very many memories of his father. Sometimes it was hard to hear about some of the things that he had forgotten about.</p><p>“Is that right?” He mused.  Laurel hummed, cradling the mug in her palms. </p><p>“After he passed, you’d play with that spot on the back on your head when you were upset,” she said, umber eyes moving to meet his, “so whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell me.” Barley dropped his arms and heavily rolled his eyes this time. He was in no mood for her nosy antics. </p><p>“There’s nothing to tell,” he groaned, moving to leave the kitchen. The older woman set her mug down, following after him. </p><p>“Don’t walk away from me there, bud,” she said. Her oldest turned to meet her gaze, annoyance etched in his features. </p><p>“Mom, I’m a grown man,” he huffed, hands moving defensively, “you don’t need to know every detail of my life.” This seemed to bother the woman before him, her brows knitting together irately. </p><p>“Sorry, you know I haven’t seen you in nearly two years” she snipped, “so forgive me for worrying a little.” Barley groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. Unbeknownst to the the two elves, Ian was making his way down the stairs amidst their argument. He slowed his movements, stopping at the bottom step and watching the two in front him cautiously. </p><p>“I knew you were upset about that,” Barley grumbled. Laurel scoffed, failing her hands angrily. </p><p>“Of course I’m upset,” she snapped, “you’re only a three hour drive away and it took you this long to visit?” Barley bit his tongue, he didn’t want to argue with his mother. It was apparent though that the lack of sleep and the emotional exhaustion was catching up with him and causing him to be easily agitated. </p><p>“I’m not a kid anymore, mom,” Barley strained, trying desperately to keep his tone calm. Still, Laurel rolled her eyes in frustration. </p><p>“I understand that, Barley, I just don’t see why you’ve been so distant,” the older woman argued. </p><p>The younger Lightfoot swallowed thickly, eyes darting back and forth between the two from his spot on the stairs. He had no idea what had brought on this little spat and he gripped the railing nervously, still unnoticed by the other elves. </p><p>Barley lets out breath of frustration through his nose, shooting daggers from his eyes to the floor. He could feel the tension and anger beginning to bubble within himself. </p><p>Laurel let out a sigh as she closed her eyes to ground herself for a moment. Her face softened as she opened them and took a step closer to her oldest. </p><p>“Honey, I just wanna make sure that you’re okay,” she said softly and reached up to rest a soothing hand on his arm but Barley pulled away irately. Laurel took a step back, surprised. </p><p>“I told you I’m fine,” his voice raised in volume and Ian flinched a little. The younger man debated on backing away, but he couldn’t find it in himself to move. </p><p>“First you want me out of the house and now I’m too distant for you?” Barley snapped, hazel eyes lowering in spite, “why don’t you make up your fucking mind, Laurel?” He spits it with much more venom than he intended, but he can’t help it. It earns him a raised brow and scoff. Meanwhile, Ian’s jaw was falling open in shock at the quarrel in front of him. </p><p>“No, that’s not gonna slide in this house,” Laurel shook her head as she pointed towards the kitchen, “you can go cool off until you’re ready to converse like an adult.” </p><p>Barley stood for a moment, eyes burning either from anger or sleep deprivation. He wasn’t sure, but he knew one thing for certain and that was that he needed to leave before he had the chance to respond to that statement. </p><p>Incensed, he shook his head and moved back towards the kitchen. Laurel didn’t say anything further, just watched as he marched off with eyes of umber fire. </p><p>Ian moved off the steps finally, peering into the kitchen after his brother. He glanced over at his mother for a moment, watching as she scowled in oldest son’s direction. </p><p>Barley snatched his keys off the counter, moving towards the back door. He ripped it open and he pushed himself through the doorway. </p><p>Ian walked quickly after him, pushing past the screen door behind his brother. The cold air hit him hard, still he called out for the older man. </p><p>“Barley?” Ian said timidly. The larger elf turned to look back at him, brows furrowed and eyes stern. </p><p>“What?” He asked shortly. Ian stammered for a second, wrapping his arms around himself for warmth. </p><p>“Are- Where are you going?” He asked. Barley huffed, jiggling his keys in his hand absentmindedly. </p><p>“For a drive,” he explained quickly. </p><p>“Is it... something I did?” The younger man asked carefully. It takes a lot for Barley to get so worked up, their mothers prying alone wouldn’t have gotten him so vexed. The younger man could help but think about the night before. </p><p>How hard Barley had grabbed his wrist. </p><p>“No,” Barley gruffed. Ian swallowed, eyes shifting from his brother, to the van, and back at the other elf. He let out a small breath to quell the anxiety. </p><p>“You want me to come with you?” Ian said softly. He knew that was a bad idea, but seeing Barley like this? He didn’t want the other man to be by himself. </p><p>Barley looked at the door, eyes shifting back to Ian after confirming their mother couldn’t hear them. He took a few steps forward, looming down so that only Ian could hear him as he spoke, “you said no more Guinevere and now would be a bad time to change your mind about that,” he said darkly. He watches as Ian shrinks back a little at that statement and his heart aches.  </p><p>Still, part of him is almost thriving in having Ian in the palm of his hand like this. </p><p>“O-okay,” Ian mumbles, taking a step back. With that, Barley turns on his heal and marches away. He rips the driver’s side door of Guinevere open and slides into the seat and slams the door shut. He shoves his key into the ignition and starts the car, throwing it into O and burning rubber out of the driveway. </p><p>Ian watched as Barley speeds away, his chest tight. The chill of the air brings him back to reality and he turns back towards the house. </p><p>When he enters he sees his mom leaning over the sink, her head low. She must have noticed him because she looks up with a sniff and sighs, turning back to the faucet. She rinses the coffee pot before shaking water from her hands. </p><p>Ian can see that her eyes are wet and carefully he steps forward. </p><p>“Mom?” He asks. The older woman wipes her hands on a towel, another sniff emits from her nose. </p><p>“I’m gonna go shower and take Corey home,” she says, tossing the towel onto the counter. Her voice wavers slightly and she nervously pushes hair from her face. </p><p>“Are you okay?” Ian says with another step towards his mother. She lets out a smaller sigh this time, turning her glassy eyes to him and giving a weak smile. </p><p>“I know better than to back him into a corner like that,” she says with a thoughtful nod, eyes falling to the floor. Laurel turns back to her youngest, moving closer to him so she can brush a strand of curly hair from his face. </p><p>“I’m sorry you had to see that, sweetie pie,” she sniffs again. He knows his mother is a strong woman, but he can’t help the ache he feels in his heart for her. Barley’s words had been harsh and the fact that he had spat her name in such a manner was baffling. </p><p>It wasn’t like him. He was respectful when it came to their parents. </p><p>“H-He’ll calm down,” Ian assures with a soft smile. Laurel hums, placing a kiss into Ian’s forehead. She pulls away and excuses herself from the room. The younger Lightfoot can’t help but think she might be running to shed a few more tears.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Be ready for another Barley chapter ~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Supriseeee</p>
<p>“Wee break,” my ass</p>
<p>I can’t contain myself, it’s a problem. Please enjoy this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley presses down on the gas hard, accelerating well past the speed limit and swerving as he straightens the vehicle. His grip on the steering wheel is tight and the cold stings at his skin. </p>
<p>He grabs a cassette tape and shoves it into the receiver, twisting the volume dial so that the riff of a guitar and heavy beat of drums fills the small space loudly. </p>
<p>He drives recklessly, music blaring and a death grip on the wheel. </p>
<p>This whole ordeal was completely ridiculous as far as he was concerned. All Laurel had to do was mind her own business, but he drops his happy go lucky demeanor for one minute and she’s jumping down his throat. </p>
<p>He glared angrily at the road, he knew that she meant well but it’s like she has to stick her nose in everything. </p>
<p>Barley sighed heavily, jerking the wheel to make a turn and drifting slightly before the vehicle straightened again. </p>
<p>He drove aimlessly like that for what seemed like forever, bobbing and weaving through traffic with no sense of direction. He grit his teeth as he replayed the conversation over and over in his head. </p>
<p>“‘Converse like an adult,’” he scoffed under his breath. He was about as ‘adult,’ as it could get. He’d been forced to grow up well before he should have. He’d practically raised Ian himself in his youth while she was grieving the loss of their father. So for her to sit there and insinuate he wasn’t grown up enough to have a conversation? It made his blood boil. </p>
<p>His eyes darted to an oncoming street sign and he took another turn, winding down a familiar road. </p>
<p>He stops across from the high school. shoving his foot on the break and throwing the van in park before he turned the volume down on his stereo. Immediately, he shut off the engine, stepping out of the vehicle and walking mindlessly through a grassy field, cold wind biting at his skin. </p>
<p>He climbed up the very rocks that had crossed his mind every single day since the last time he stood upon them, eyes grazing upon the vast water that bled into the horizon. He let out a breath, feeling the blood in his veins simmer and cool. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to regain that warmth of over two years past. </p>
<p>He didn’t have very many memories of his father. </p>
<p>He remembered a goofy laugh and the silly faces Wilden would pull to make him smile. He could remember the beat he played on his father’s feet and just vaguely a joyful tune Wilden would pluck on his ukulele. </p>
<p>He could still feel the scratch of the older man’s beard that would grace against his skin when he was sitting in his father’s lap and a hand that snaked its way into his hair-</p>
<p>‘Don’t tell mommy,’</p>
<p>Barley squeezed his eyes shut, willing those thoughts away. His father was a good man who had loved his family. There had been nothing but light in his eyes in those few moments that Barley had looked into them in this very spot. </p>
<p>With a sniff, the elfish man pulled his beanie from his head and moved to sit, facing the water and watching the waves roll in languidly. The overcast sky made for a monochromatic view of dull grey and deep blue of the water. </p>
<p>The stones were cold, but his body was numb to the feeling. He fiddled with the fabric in his hands as he recalled those last moments with his father. </p>
<p>‘Barley?’ It had been more a statement, rather than a question, recognition had immediately lit his father’s hazel eyes. </p>
<p>Those eyes that would burn so deep when he’d look at his eldest son in the past. </p>
<p>Barley shook his head, tears brimming his eyes. His arms rested on his knees, hat dangling from his hands between them as he twisted the fabric in his fingers. </p>
<p>Wilden would never have hurt him, not like that. Even though hands burned his skin in his dreams and fear encased his heart in those first initial seconds of seeing that man stand before him once more. </p>
<p>But that wasn’t Wilden, or so Barley tells himself. His chocolate chip pancakes in the morning and Laurel’s happy laughter as he cracked a stupidly corny joke over something they’d been discussing was Wilden. </p>
<p>Strong arms that enveloped him in their warmth during that final hug, that was Wilden. And those memories that glow in his mind like that fateful sunset that had cast a heavenly light upon his father is what Barley clings to. </p>
<p>He wants that for Ian, as well. He wants his little brother to think of their father as the man who would do just about anything for the sake of his family. </p>
<p>Scratchy beard, goofy laugh, and drums on his feet. That’s all the younger Lightfoot needed. </p>
<p>Barley let out a sigh, sniffing back the tears as his eyes shifted back up to the horizon. A light gust of wind ghosted at his skin, the cold encasing him in its embrace. </p>
<p>Any anger he had felt previously had all but evaporated from his body, leaving him with a sick feeling as he thought of his mother. All she had wanted was to make sure he was okay- which he wasn’t. His veil was wearing thin and she could see that. </p>
<p>He knows he has to put on a strong face, he has to be that rock. He’s supposed to be the cheerful, boisterous son with no concept of personal space for those that he loves. </p>
<p>A tear leaves the corner of Barley’s eye, cutting through the cool skin of his cheek hotly before it freezes even colder. </p>
<p>‘Daddy just loves you so much, don’t you ever forget that.’</p>
<p>Barley shoves those words down, swallowing thickly. He wipes at his eyes that had become wet from the sting of the brisk air and the pain that wells in his chest as hidden memories surface from the darkest corners of his mind. He shakes out his beanie before he slides it back over his head, moving to stand once more. </p>
<p>Glassy sienna eyes graze once more at the sea, scanning over the landscape. He takes a breath, a small puff of air visibly escaping from his lips. </p>
<p>He needs to apologize to his mother, he needs her to think that he’s okay even if it feels like he’s constantly suffocating. Its what his father would expect from him. </p>
<p>It’s the security that Iandore needs to pull through. </p>
<p>So, the eldest Lightfoot son digs in his pocket for his keys, jingling them in his palm for a moment before he turns to head back to his van. </p>
<p>He’s no where near ready to face Laurel after the vicious way he had spat at her, but on the same token, he could use her comforting touch. Even if he’s only warranted a moment of some sort of relief from the sick feeling that encases him constantly. </p>
<p>So, begrudgingly, he makes his way to his battered van and slides into the driver’s seat. He starts the engine and pulls away from the curb, driving much more carefully this time. </p>
<p>Once he makes it home, he pulls into the driveway and sighs deeply. </p>
<p>He can’t avoid it forever, so he shuts the car off and slides out of the van before making his way to the door. </p>
<p>He enters cautiously, looking around the empty kitchen before taking a few steps. His heart catches in his throat at the sight of him mother sitting at the dining table. She has a glass of wine that’s half empty  and theirt eyes meet. Barley pulls of his hat sheepishly. </p>
<p>The older woman scowls, watching him with dark brown eyes. </p>
<p>“I didn’t expect to see you back so soon,” Laurel says sharply. Barley grimaces, gripping his hat in his fists and his eyes shifting to the floor. </p>
<p>“I-I think I owe you an apology,” he mumbles. Laurel’s eyes move up to look at him, the elfish woman leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. When she didn’t respond, Barley cleared his throat and pulled his eyes away from the floor to meet her gaze. </p>
<p>“I-I’m sorry, mom,” he stammered, willing the tears in his throat to fade away. Laurel studied him for a moment before her expression softened. She moved to pat the table in front of the seat next to her, indicating for him to sit down. </p>
<p>Barley didn’t hesitate, pulling the chair from beneath the table to sit beside her. The older woman crossed her arms onto the table, looking down at the wood thoughtfully. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry too,” she said, eyes tracing the patterns of the wooden surface, “I shouldn’t have pushed you so much.” Barley sighed, setting his hat onto the table and set one elbow upon the surface. He ran a hand through his hair and swallowed. </p>
<p>“That’s not something you should apologize for,” he said softly. Laurel pulled her eyes away from the table and looked up at her oldest. </p>
<p>“No, I-I know I can be a little over bearing,” she admitted, one hand moving to shift the frames of her glasses, “I just worry sometimes.” Barley gave her a soft smile, dropping his hand from his head to rest it on the table. </p>
<p>“I thought it was your job to worry?” he teases lightly, voice soft from his chest. Laurel gives a quiet laugh, chocolate eyes scanning over him. </p>
<p>“The hardest part about being a parent is watching your kids grow up,” she says with a bittersweet sadness. She moves, dragging her arms with her and dropping them in her lap. Barley’s lips tightened and he nodded in understanding. There’s a moment of silence between them before Laurel shifts, fiddling with her hands in a familiar fashion. </p>
<p>Barley cleared his throat softly, “Well, I’m sure I haven’t made it any easier on you lately,” he said, tapping his finger on the table lightly. Laurel looked up at him, a glint of light in her eyes. </p>
<p>“You’ve never made anything easy,” she laughed, her face softening as she hummed thoughtfully, “but, then again, you’ve always had your own way of doing things.” Her oldest son smiled at that, still, he let out a sigh. His eyes shifted to stare into the floor. </p>
<p>“I know I haven’t been very present lately,” he began, “I’m gonna fix that,” he promised, shifting his gaze to meet hers as he said so. Laurel moves to reach her hand out to grab his softly, her thumb grazing over his knuckles. He felt a wave of tears hit him at her touch and he swallowed them down. </p>
<p>“And mom?” He said, voice tight. The older woman looked at him curiously, waiting for him to continue. “If I feel like there’s something you should know, I won’t hesitate to tell you.” Glassy hazel eyes searched her face, watching as her expression softened once more. </p>
<p>“That’s all I ask, honey,” Laurel said quietly, “you know you can trust me with anything.” He gave her a teary smile in response, sliding his hand so his palm was facing upwards so that her fingers could curl over his. </p>
<p>“You gotta let me come to you though, okay? You’re my mom and I love you, but I’m my own man now- I can handle myself,” Barley said. Laurel gave him a loving smile, nodding her head lightly and squeezing his hand. </p>
<p>“Alright- fair enough,” she agreed. He pulled his hand away gently, a loving smile gracing his face. He moved his hand, grabbing his beanie and slinging it back in place over the cap of his skull. Laurel sat back in her seat, wiping the wetness from her eyes with a sniff. </p>
<p>He moved to stand, feeling as if he needed to go breathe for a moment. The conflict was resolved, but he still had so many emotions thrumming through him. </p>
<p>“Oh, and Barley?” He turned, shooting his mother a quizzical look. There was a playful glint in her eyes and she crossed her arms over her chest once more. </p>
<p>“You ever call me ‘Laurel,’ again and we’re gonna have problems,”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooofff I love writing Laurel, she’s 12/10</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here’s yet another</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Please enjoy ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The younger Lightfoot had retreated to his room after his mom left and hadn’t really gone back down to see her when she returned. The tension emitting from his mother was a lot to handle and he wanted to give her some space. </p>
<p>The willowy elf tapped his fingers against his desk softly, eyes moving towards the wrapped gift boxes Corey had brought yesterday. </p>
<p>He had meant to give Barley his gift before everyone had gone to bed, but with the events of the night he had kind of forgotten about it. </p>
<p>He wasn’t sure when Barley would return, any time he’d storm off in the past it would be anywhere from an hour to a whole weekend before he’d be back and with Winterfest dwindling to an end, Ian hoped it wouldn’t be too long. Then again, the argument his mom and brother shared was a little intense and Barley had a long history of avoiding conflict by staying away. </p>
<p>So when a soft knock came from behind his door after hour three he perked up. Surprised when the knob turned and the door was pushed open to reveal his older brother. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Ian said, watching the older man carefully as he entered the room. Barley gave him a small smile, moving across the floor to sit at the edge of Ian’s bed. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Barley breathed. Ian turned in his chair to face the other man, tapping his fingers on his thigh lightly. </p>
<p>“Everything okay?” Ian inquired cautiously, “cuz this morning was... kind of rough.” Barley hummed, nodding in agreement. </p>
<p>“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he confirmed. Ian still watched him carefully though. He wouldn’t go as far as to say that the older man wasn’t quick to anger. He was normally pretty laid back even in the most trying situations. It’s just that once he’s been provoked, he tends to go off a little. </p>
<p>Laurel has never brought that out of him, not with mere questions. Something was going on in Barley’s head and it concerned the younger man. </p>
<p>The darkness in his eyes earlier before he had driven off was frightening. Ian could see a storm brewing within those golden irises and it sent a chill over his body. </p>
<p>“It’s just that... you’ve never talked to mom like that, I mean- you called her ‘Laurel,’” the younger Lightfoot shifted in his chair, not wanting to make the same mistake their mother had this morning by prying too hard. </p>
<p>Barley chuckled, looking down at the floor sheepishly. </p>
<p>“Yeah, she didn’t like that too much,” the larger elf laughed. His expression fell a little, eyes shifting in thought before he cleared his throat. Amber eyes meeting Ian’s softly. “Sorry you walked in on that,” Barley apologized. </p>
<p>Ian tightened his lips, letting a small breath out through his nose. His eyes moved to search the floor. If he were being completely honest with himself, it had been nerve wracking to witness. Especially the after math and seeing the pained expression on his mother’s face. </p>
<p>Carefully, Ian lifted his eyes to meet Barley’s once again. </p>
<p>“You wanna talk about it?” He asked. Barley shook his head, shifting slightly. </p>
<p>“No, I’m okay,” he says, grimacing a little before dropping his head slightly, “um.. if I scared you earlier- o-outside...” Ian nods slightly in understanding. Moving to fumble with his hands a little. </p>
<p>“You didn’t,” he mumbles. That wasn’t entirely true, but he’d take Barley’s honest warnings over the actual event of something happening any day. </p>
<p>“Still,” Barley says, “I-I’m trying to work on it,” he finishes softly like he’s ashamed. Ian gives him a halfhearted smile. </p>
<p>“I know,” he says softly in reassurance. To say that this holiday had been a whirlwind of emotions was an understatement. His relationship with his brother had made a near one eighty turn in a matter of days. It was overwhelming and yet, he felt like they were starting to meet in the middle. </p>
<p>However, finding that happy medium was going to take a lot more time, a lot more trial and error, and a lot more patience from both sides. </p>
<p>Barley looked up, lips tightening as he nodded. Quickly, Ian turned to his desk and grabbed the gift boxes, wanting to move past the tension in the room. He moved to hand one to the older man, who in turn, gave him a skeptical look. </p>
<p>“T-they’re from Corey,” Ian explained quickly. The larger elf hummed, taking his box and setting it down beside him. Ian arched a brow at him. </p>
<p>“You’re not gonna open it?” Ian asked quizzically. Barley shook his head, eyes casting downward. </p>
<p>“Not right now, no,” he mumbles. Ian hums, looking down at the small box in his lap. Curiously, he lifts the gift and pulls off the festive lid. Inside is a little black pouch that he pulls out, the object inside is round and has a little weight to it. He moves to set down the empty container on his desk and pulls open the fabric. </p>
<p>An opal like gem plopped into his palm as he turned it over, immediately he raised a brow. It shifted an iridescent teal in the light and he looked up at Barley in perplexity.</p>
<p>Hazel eyes widened and the older man was off the bed and taking the gem from Ian’s hands. He held it carefully between the tips of his fingers as his eyes grazed upon the spherical crystal. </p>
<p>“Oh, it’s a dragon’s eye!” Barley said in awe. </p>
<p>“A what?” The younger man asked, still sporting an expression of confusion. Barley shook his head, carefully shifting the small gem in his hands. </p>
<p>“It’s an assist element,” he explains, as if it were obvious information, “it’ll show you whatever you wanna see.” Ian’s face dropped, chocolate eyes falling with his expression. Magic was a thing of the past for him, but it’d be selfish not to accept a gift. Still, he grimaced at the older man. </p>
<p>“Oh,” he said softly, reaching to take it from his older brother. Barley handed him the dragon’s eye carefully. It was smooth beneath the pads of his fingers, gliding across his skin softly. </p>
<p>“They’re almost as rare as the Phoenix gem,” the older Lightfoot carried on, “it can show you past, present- it’s not for seeing the future, but a lot of sorcerers used them as way finders in the old days.” Ian slid the gem back into its pouch, turning his chair so he could set the assist element into a drawer of his desk. </p>
<p>“That’s cool, I guess,” he said half-heatedly. </p>
<p>Barley scoffed, “of course it’s cool, you have a dragon’s eye- you could literally ask to see a parallel universe if you wanted.” Ian rolled his eyes, shutting his drawer and turning to Barley once more. </p>
<p>“I just... I haven’t messed with magic in so long, I’d hate to waste it like dad’s gem..” Ian said with a shrug. A wave of sadness hit him as he recalled his sixteenth birthday. If he’d known he had the magic gift, if he’d practice before casting their father’s spell, he’d have met Wilden. </p>
<p>It’s a thought that crosses his mind frequently. </p>
<p>“Why?” Barley asked quizzically. Ian sighed, eyes drifting as he tried to find the right words. </p>
<p>“I just got away from it I guess,” Ian said. He didn’t dare look back at his brother. The reason he had gotten away from magic was because it hurt to use it when Barley had taught him everything he knew. </p>
<p>The older man hummed, sitting back down on Ian’s bed. </p>
<p>“Well, you’ll just have to get back into it,” he said with a sly smile. Ian shook his head playfully. </p>
<p>“Maybe,” he says. Ian tapped his foot lightly, feeling his chest tighten as Barley watched him. His brother’s enthusiasm didn’t help his disdain for magic. </p>
<p>So, in an effort to get away from the topic, Ian cleared his throat, tugging on his sleeve anxiously. </p>
<p>“S-so when are you leaving?” The small elf asked curiously. </p>
<p>“Why, you tryin’ to get rid of me?” Barley chuckled. Ian rolled his eyes, shaking his head. </p>
<p>“No, Winterfest is ending soon,” he said with annoyance lacing his tone, “I was just curious.” Barley gave another small laugh, a hand moving subconsciously to the back his head for a moment. </p>
<p>“I gotta leave Tuesday night,” he said, his hand coming back down to hang nonchalantly over his thigh. </p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot hummed. Wednesday was the last day of Winterfest, but due to holiday traffic and such he could understand why the older elf would want to leave a little early. </p>
<p>Still, a strange sense of dread came over him at the thought of his brother leaving. Not to mention, he’d be going back to school soon and doing that without Barley to run home to was a little nerve wracking. </p>
<p>A rush of anxiety fell over him as he thought about returning to classes. There’s no doubt that everyone would be talking about Sadalia’s party. He could only hope that word hadn’t gotten around about how he’d bolted from a kiss. </p>
<p>He dropped his gaze to his own lap, folding his hands neatly, “y-you said I could call right?” He doesn’t look up to see the smile spreading across Barley’s face, but he can hear it in the soft tone of his voice. </p>
<p>“Yeah, you can call me whenever you need to,” the older man said quietly. Hazel eyes glanced to the door that was slightly ajar, making sure their mother wasn’t looming about to over hear them. </p>
<p>“You know you can come see me whenever you need to as well,” the larger elf continued. Ian finally tore his gaze from the floor to search Barley’s face. He knew it was a genuine offer, still it was too early to be considering that. </p>
<p>He smiled anyway though, nodding his head slightly. </p>
<p>“Well have to see,” he murmurs quietly. They stare for a moment, warm honey eyes into deep umber, before Barley nods and pushes himself to his feet. </p>
<p>“Well, I’ll leave you alone I guess,” he says. Ian perks at that, moving to his own feet as well. </p>
<p>“No- I’ll come with you,” he says quickly. Barley watched him carefully and Ian shrugs sheepishly, “I should make an appearance downstairs anyway.” This gets a chuckle out of Barley, who’s already moving towards the door. </p>
<p>“Fine with me,”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So for those that read this when I posted earlier I deeply apologize. Sometimes my hands go faster than my brain and I don’t read what I’m about to post so oops I uploaded the draft to this chapter. </p>
<p>Anyway, here’s the AcTuAl chapter 29 and my sincerest apologies. </p>
<p>Don’t be like me, proof read BEFORE you post. </p>
<p>It’s still a short one with wee bits of info on the mysterious dragon’s eye so please enjoy ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of Sunday had gone by uneventfully. Barley had actually retreated to his room pretty early to crash and Ian couldn’t blame him. The man had looked exhausted, his stocky form slumped and dark circles encasing his eyes. </p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot briefly wondered if his brother had slept at all the night before. He still couldn’t help but feel as if Barley’s sudden slip in behavior had something to do with him. </p>
<p>However, it was pointless to pry the older man with questions given the events of the morning. Ian brushed it off as much as he could and spent the rest of the afternoon with his mother. </p>
<p>The young mage had tried once to get Barley out of his room around dinner time but Laurel had stopped him before he could. </p>
<p>“Let him sleep, honey, he seemed pretty tired,” she had said softly. Obviously there was still some tensions between the other Lightfoot’s. Ian knew it pained his mother to be shut out, still he obeyed and left his older brother alone. </p>
<p>Barley hadn’t emerged from his bedroom until the following morning, seemingly better rested and in a brighter mood. </p>
<p>Ian was pouring milk into his cereal when Barley had made his appearance, the smaller man had arched a brow in his direction. </p>
<p>“Wow, you’re alive,” the younger Lightfoot teased, setting the carton down and moving to pull a stool out from under the bar. He plopped down, throwing one leg over the other and dipping his spoon into his bowl. Barley rolled his eyes before moving to the counter and reaching for the milk. </p>
<p>“Has mom left yet?” The older man asked as he gave the carton a small shake. Ian  shook his head as he lifted a spoonful of cereal to his lips. </p>
<p>“No, she’s still getting ready,” he says before taking a bite of his breakfast. Barley hummed, looking out the window above the sink. </p>
<p>“Great,” he mumbles before taking a sip of milk from the carton. Ian chewed thoughtfully, eyes moving to search the floor. He couldn’t say he was surprised that Barley might still feel uncomfortable around their mother, but he really only had himself to blame. </p>
<p>They both know how intuitive that woman is, and letting her see past their facade wasn’t her fault. </p>
<p>Still, he also knew that Barley had a hard time being confronted to begin with. Laurel had even admitted to knowing that. </p>
<p>‘I know better than to back him into a corner,’ she had said, which leads Ian to believe that maybe her badgering was intentional at times. </p>
<p>He couldn’t dwell on it too much, especially when Laurel was making her way into the kitchen, pulling him from his thoughts. </p>
<p>The older woman grabbed her thermos from the counter that she’d filled with coffee earlier, shrugging her purse over her shoulder. </p>
<p>“Alright, sweetie, I’ve gotta get going-“ her eyes stopped on her oldest. She rested a hand on her hip and arched her brow at him. “Oh, I wasn’t sure if I’d see you before I left.” Ian chuckled at her teasing and Barley rolled his eyes, putting the milk back in the fridge. </p>
<p>“Morning to you too, mom,” Barley said with a playful eye roll as he shut the door to the refrigerator and turned back towards his mother. </p>
<p>Laurel hummed, “well, I’ll see you boys later,” she said as she turned to Ian and placing a kiss on his head. Ian grimaced, moving away from her affections. </p>
<p>“Mom,” he groaned. Laurel just waved him off with a smile before heading out of the room. </p>
<p>“Call me if you need anything!” She called behind her. </p>
<p>“Will do,” Barley replied, chuckling softly to himself. Once she was out the door Ian turned to his older brother, dipping his spoon back into his cereal. </p>
<p>“How come she’s not so lovey with you?” Ian grumbled. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate his mother’s love and attention, it just made him feel as if he were being treated like a child sometimes. </p>
<p>Barley laughed, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest, “well for one, I never shower,” he said obviously. Ian chuckled, bringing another spoonful to his lips and closing his mouth around the silverware. </p>
<p>He could feel the older man’s eyes on him as he pulled the metal from his plump lips. Self consciously, he blushed and turned to set the bowl on the counter. </p>
<p>Ian swallowed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He cleared his throat before speaking, “you have any plans for today?” He asked nonchalantly. </p>
<p>“Well,” Barley began, pushing away from the counter and approaching Ian, “I happen to know a pretty cool wizard who just got a pretty cool gem,” the older man said, softly punching Ian’s shoulder to jostle him a little. Ian sighed, his expression falling with his eyes as he stared holes into the floor. </p>
<p>“I told you I didn’t wanna waste that,” Ian mumbled. Barley scoffed, crossing his arms once more. </p>
<p>“You can’t waste a Dragon’s Eye, you just have to recharge them after a few uses,” he explained. Ian perked at this curiously, umber eyes watching his brother.</p>
<p>He pondered for a moment, a brow arching in perplexity, “recharge them?” He asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah, they require lunar energy- I’ll show you later, it’s pretty simple,” Barley chirped, moving his hands to his hips. Ian had to admit, the information was intriguing. Still, his gut wrenched at the thought of using his magical gift, regardless of his new assist element. The younger elf just let out a breath, shaking his head and crossing his own arms defensively. </p>
<p>“I-I’m too rusty and I’ll mess up the spell,” he says, he’s hoping Barley will drop it but the older man persists. </p>
<p>“Oh, come on- you practically mastered arcane lightning after just one day,” Barley enthused, throwing an arm around his little brother’s tiny shoulders, “besides, it’s not a hard spell.” Ian rolled his eyes, pushing away from his brother’s touch and moving to his feet. </p>
<p>“I just don’t wanna mess with it right now,” he grumbled. Recalling the great quest of his sixteenth birthday brought along a lot of painful memories that he’d rather not dwell on. Not only did he miss his chance to meet his father, but it was also a simpler time between him and Barley. </p>
<p>It was a time before Barley had forced him into sex, before their relationship was nothing more than dark alley ways and the scratchy carpeting in the back of Guinevere the Second. </p>
<p>Yes, there was the touching but it was easier to feel normal when it was just that. </p>
<p>Magic was a sole reminder of that turning point and Ian honestly didn’t want it apart of his life anymore. </p>
<p>Still, Barley straightened, motioning his hands in question and further pushing the smaller elf with his oblivious excitement. </p>
<p>“Ian, you can see whatever you want with that thing-“</p>
<p>“I don’t want anything to do with magic, okay?” The younger Lightfoot blurted, eyes lowering in a scowl, “so just drop it, Barley.” He immediately regretted his words as he watched larger elf flinch a little at his harsh tone. He couldn’t help it, the frustration bubbling in his chest was too much at this point. </p>
<p>The older Lightfoot deflated, nodding his head slightly, “o-okay, sorry,” he mumbled. Ian felt his heart sink and he wrapped his arms around himself tightly. </p>
<p>“I-I’m gonna go get dressed,” he stammered, voice tight as emotion swelled in the back of his throat. Barley nodded in response, gazing downward and not daring to meet the younger man’s eyes. </p>
<p>Ian sighed softly, swallowing the tears. He didn’t want to upset Barley, but sometimes the only way to get the older man to listen was to shut him down completely. </p>
<p>He moved to duck out of the kitchen, but a strong hand was at his arm to stop him. </p>
<p>“Ian, wait a second,” Barley said solemnly. The younger man just pulled away from him, shaking his head with glassy eyes. </p>
<p>“Don’t-“ Ian curled in on himself slightly, “just don’t,” he whispered before bolting from the room. He didn’t dare look back, just headed for his bedroom to grab a change of clothes. </p>
<p>Once he was in his room he sighed, closing the door so it was just barely cracked open. </p>
<p>Ian slumped his shoulders, walking towards his closet to sift through his clothes. He settles on a deep green sweater and a pair of worn jeans that he changes into languidly. He rolls the bottom of his pants to fit just below his ankles with a sniff, still trying to suppress his tears. </p>
<p>Barley had stood silently in the kitchen as he watched Ian leave, feeling like the wind had been sucked from his lungs. </p>
<p>He wasn’t completely ignorant. He knew that Ian’s cold shoulder to magic had something to do with himself. It was a hard pill to swallow, knowing he ruined something so beautiful for his little brother. </p>
<p>No matter how badly he wanted to go and comfort the smaller man, he knew the best thing to do right now would be to leave him alone. So, he moved to the shelf below the whiteboard in their kitchen and grabbed a familiar red leash. He whistled once, smirking softly when a tiny hydra poked her head into the kitchen curiously. </p>
<p>“Wanna go for a walk?” Barley asked, watching in a amusement as the little dragon chirped happily and charged toward him. He chuckled, bending down to where Blazey was curling herself around his feet and clipping the leash to her collar. </p>
<p>“That’s a good girl,” he praised quietly. The little hydra purred excitedly, skittering towards the door and turning back towards the stocky elf as she waited eagerly for him to open it. </p>
<p>Barley glanced once more at the opening of the kitchen, grimacing slightly as he thought of his little brother. Hopefully, things would be better once he returned.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ian out here being all emotional when Barley just wants to look back at the times they consensually messed around</p>
<p>Jk</p>
<p>But just imagine</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OoooooWeeeeeEEEE this is a long one </p>
<p>But hey, it’s chapter 30- go big or go home right?</p>
<p>By the way</p>
<p>OVER 3000 HITS </p>
<p>You’re too good to me &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian shuffled about his bedroom, still not entirely ready to go back downstairs. He was still reeling from the tense conversation with his brother. It was stupid how frustrating one little subject could be for him to talk about. </p>
<p>He shoved it down though, pushing up his sleeve to check his watch. He sighed, his mother wouldn’t be home for hours. It was during these little stretches of alone time that could be the most unsettling. </p>
<p>It wasn’t even the sex that he was nervous about anymore. More and more they were beginning to open endless cans of worms that Ian could do without. They wiggled deep under his skin and left countless questions running through his mind. </p>
<p>Or they exposed more secrets, more twists and turns that left him feeling as if he was drowning. </p>
<p>Still, he didn’t want to spend his brother’s last full day at home avoiding him. Despite everything that had transpired between them, Ian still missed the older man terribly over the last two years he was absent from their home. Although seeing him again was difficult, he found himself finding comfort in the other elf’s presence at times. </p>
<p>For so long the young wizard didn’t have anyone other than his mother to keep him company. Even when he had Sadalia and the others to fall back on he still felt utterly alone. </p>
<p>Barley was probably one of the only people he could truly talk to about anything, and he’d grown accustom to that outlet in this short period of time. Losing that made him uncomfortable. </p>
<p>He worries his bottom lips, deciding it wouldn’t do him any good to dwell on the matter. </p>
<p>Begrudgingly, he sighed, knowing he couldn’t hide away forever. He walked over to his bedroom door and pulled it open, exiting the room and making for the stairway. </p>
<p>Once he had made it to the bottom of the stairs he looked around the living room, nervously tugging at his sweater. There was no sign of Barley to be found. The younger Lightfoot grimaced, moving towards the kitchen. </p>
<p>As usual, Barley’s keys were still in their place from where he’d normally toss them instead of hanging them on the hook so he couldn’t have gone far. A sense of guilt washed over Ian. He hadn’t meant to run the other man off. </p>
<p>Just when he was about to leave the room, the back door opened and an excited little dragon entered. Her eyes darted to the small elf, moving to charge for him when the pull of her leash stopped her. </p>
<p>“Alright, quit tuggin’, you little monster,” Barley chuckled, pulling her close to unclip her leash. Once Blazey was free she bounded for Iandore, jumping up his legs excitedly. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Ian laughed, brushing the small hydra off of him, “down, Blazey.” The reptilian pet chirped, skittering towards her bowl to munch on her feed. </p>
<p>Ian brushed his clothes off, eyes darting towards Barley. The older man tightened his lips nervously, tossing the leash back in its original spot. </p>
<p>Ian wasn’t sure whether to broach the subject or not. Still, he cleared his throat, deciding it best to just let it go completely. </p>
<p>“Is it cold outside?” He asked carefully. Barley chuckled, rubbing his hands together for friction and moving away from the door. </p>
<p>“Just a bit,” he laughed. The tension seemed to fade away as the older Lightfoot moved towards the living room. Ian watched him carefully still, fumbling nervously with his hands. </p>
<p>The older man plucked the remote from the coffee table, switching on the tv and scrolling through the channels. Ian stood beside him, eyes grazing over the screen before darting back over to his brother. </p>
<p>He couldn’t help the need to say something. </p>
<p>“Barley?” He muttered quietly. The larger elf just looked over at him, a halfhearted smile gracing his lips. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” he said softly, face molding into smug grin, “besides, this time tomorrow you’ll be rid of me.” The older Lightfoot smacked the smaller man on the back of the shoulders, knocking him forward slightly. </p>
<p>Ian grimaced, he knew Barley was just trying to make light of the situation. Still, the young mage chose not to engage that subject. </p>
<p>“Do you always have to be so rough?” Ian asked irately as he rubbed his shoulder.</p>
<p>“That’s not rough,” the stocky elf said with a sly smile. </p>
<p>“It’s a bit rough,” Ian claimed, motioning towards himself as he continued, “I’m a pretty small guy.” This brought a laugh out of Barley, who turned to him with a devious smirk. </p>
<p>“I could show you rough, if you’d like.” There was a flirtatious rift in his voice. Ian’s eyes went wide at that, a blush spreading over his cheeks like wild fire. Barley kept a smug face, turning back to the television, one arm crossed over his chest with his hand resting in the crook of his alternating elbow as his other hand pointed the remote. </p>
<p>“T-That’s fine,” Ian stuttered as he walked over to sit on the couch, “I’ll just take your word for it.” He plopped down onto the green cushion, crossing his arms. His eyes wandered to the tv, watching languidly as his brother flipped through the selections. </p>
<p>Ian perked at the screen, shifting so he could sit fully on the sofa and crossing his legs under him. </p>
<p>“Hey, go back- I like this show,” Ian pointed towards the television. Barley looked back at him with an arched brow. </p>
<p>“What the one with all that dumb teenage drama and like, something about a red head?” Barley asked. Ian lowered his brows in a questioning expression. </p>
<p>“It’s called Shiredale and it’s like, way better than that dumb gladiator show that you watch,” the younger man defended with crossed arms. Barley scoffed turning back to the tv. </p>
<p>“Kay, whatever,” he mumbled, pausing for a moment before selecting the show Ian was eager to watch. He turned back towards his younger brother with a glint of mischief in his eyes. </p>
<p>“What’s in it for me?” The older man pondered, tapping the remote against his chin. Ian slowly dropped his hands to his lap, looking up at the older man curiously. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Ian murmured, umber eyes searching for an answer. </p>
<p>“Well, you’re gonna make me sit through this... seemingly interesting show,” Barley said as he motioned at the television with the remote, tone laced with sarcasm, “what do I get in return?” He finished, looking back at Ian with deep hazel eyes. Ian swallowed, eyes moving between his brother and the tv. He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably. </p>
<p>“D-depends,” he stammered, summoning his courage, “are you gonna complain the entire time?” </p>
<p>“Probably,”</p>
<p>“Well, I can’t give you a gracious reward if you’re gonna be a dick about it,” the younger Lightfoot said. Barley hummed, moving to sit beside the smaller elf and tapping the select button on the remote. </p>
<p>“Then silent I shall be,” he said gallantly, throwing an arm over the backrest behind Ian. The younger man turned towards his older brother, nervously fumbling with his hands. </p>
<p>“What... what are you wanting?” He asked timidly. Barley looked over at him, eyes casting down thoughtfully before he smiled genuinely. He moved to grab the smaller elf, scooping him up and sliding him into his lap so that both legs were strewn across his thighs. </p>
<p>“This is fine,” the older Lightfoot murmured, placing a quick kiss against Ian’s cheek. A strong arm curled around his back to support him. The younger elf blushed, settling in a little and resting his head on Barley’s shoulder, his attention returning to the show that was starting in front of them. </p>
<p>Barley stayed true to his word, not a peep came from him as the episode transpired. It was one Ian had seen before, the season was probably airing for a marathon. Regardless, he wasn’t paying much attention to it. </p>
<p>Instead he was busy tracing the patches on Barley’s vest with the tip on his index finger. The pad of his digit glides over the word Hades softly, his face rising and falling with Barley’s easy breaths. </p>
<p>The older man pulls him in tighter and the smaller elf shifts slightly, nuzzling under Barley’s chin and moving to stroke one of the smooth buttons on the collar of the denim vest with his thumb. </p>
<p>No one ever holds him like this. </p>
<p>And he’s not sure when he’ll be able to lavish in such comforts again. </p>
<p>Barley can be selfish and scary, he can instill terror into Iandore’s heart with just the darkness of his eyes, but on the same token he can make the younger elf feel so safe in the strong embrace of his arms. </p>
<p>It brings a rush of tears to Ian’s eyes as he thinks about his brother’s upcoming departure. Sadly, he sniffs, biting back his emotions so Barley doesn’t notice. </p>
<p>Much to Ian’s disappointment, the older elf stiffens, indicating that he had indeed noticed his little brother’s shift in demeanor. Barley peeled his eyes away from the screen and looked down at the smaller form that’s snuggled up against him. </p>
<p>“Ian?” </p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot doesn’t say anything, he just stares teary eyed at the button he’s messing with. His lip quivers slightly and he tries to stifle the stutter in his breathing as he desperately tries to pull himself together. </p>
<p>“Iandore,”</p>
<p>The elf in question swallows, looking up with watery eyes. There’s a look of concern that graces Barley’s features, but before he can speak again Ian pushes himself up to place a small kiss just in front of the spot where Barley’s ear connects to his jawline. The older man stays still, but Ian can feel his breath catch with the pause of his chest. </p>
<p>He softly peppers kisses along the older man’s neck, one hand grabbing onto the opening of his vest. </p>
<p>Barley’s free hand moves to cup beneath Ian’s ear, turning to place his lips upon the smaller elf’s softly. They stay like that for a moment, their lips sliding together slowly. Small smacks emitting as they separate and come back together. </p>
<p>The older Lightfoot pulls away and searches Ian’s glassy doe eyes with concern laced over his features. </p>
<p>“Hey,” he says softly, brushing a stray tear away from his little brother’s cheek. Ian breathes deeply, trying desperately to ground himself. The loneliness of the years past is rapidly catching up to him though, and it fills him with such an emptiness. </p>
<p>“‘M not ready for you to go,” Ian cries softly. Barley’s heart melts and he pulls the smaller man in closer. </p>
<p>“I’m not going off to war here, Ian,” he chuckles softly. </p>
<p>“Yeah but, y-you were gone for so long last time,” the younger man stutters. Barley hugs him to his chest, resting his cheek atop his baby brother’s head and rubbing soothing circles on his back. </p>
<p>“I did that for you,” he murmurs, pausing for a moment to kiss the top of Ian’s skull, “everything I do is for you.” The young mage let out a breath through his nose, the warmth of his exhale seeping into the fabric of Barley’s vest. </p>
<p>“Well, don’t do it again,” he mumbled, another hot tear slipping down his cheek as he fisted a hand in the decorated denim. “I need you,” Ian’s voice is so tight that it’s hardly audible. </p>
<p>“I won’t,” Barley promises, brushing curly cyan hair from Ian’s face and smiling fondly. “I’ll visit on my off weekends- or whenever you’re ready you can come stay with me.” The smaller elf sniffed, giving a weak smile to the older man. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” he said meekly. </p>
<p>“I gotta warn you though, my neighbors absolutely hate me,” Barley smirked. This brought a small laugh out of the younger man. He brought a hand up to dry his freckled cheeks and shifted to sit up a bit more. </p>
<p>“I don’t doubt it,” he teased. Barley leaned in to press a sweet kiss to the tip of his nose, moving up a little to place another on his baby brother’s forehead. </p>
<p>“We’re gonna be okay,” Barley murmurs, a gentle smile gracing his lips and lighting up the gold reflects of his eyes. </p>
<p>Ian nods at that, sniffling once more as he pushes away the tears. </p>
<p>“Now,” Barley began, a playful glint behind his sienna eyes, “can we watch literally anything else?” Ian chuckled, moving over Barley’s vast torso to grab the remote on the other side of him. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I think I’ve seen this season anyway,” he mumbled, flicking through channels once more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t watch Riverdale so don’t come for me cuz I know nothing about it, it just seems like something Ian would be into. </p>
<p>How are we feeling about Ian’s 180 flip tho?? From dreading the thought of being near his brother to not being able to handle him leaving??? </p>
<p>Feed back is always welcome :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>These next few chapters are gonna be hella long</p>
<p>But I don’t think anyone has ever complained over a lengthy chapter. </p>
<p>Also just a quick warning, there are homophobic slurs in the chapter so please read with caution &lt;3</p>
<p>And as always please enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Monday had seeped by much quicker than Ian would have liked and Tuesday morning dwindled into late afternoon. </p>
<p>Despite the rolling emotions of yesterday, Ian felt as if he was holding himself together pretty well. </p>
<p>He couldn’t say the same for his mother, who was barely powering through saying goodbye to her oldest. </p>
<p>And yet, there they stood. Barley was jingling his keys in his hand as his eyes searched the kitchen floor thoughtfully, going over in his mind if he had everything packed away. </p>
<p>Ian sat on a bar stool by the counter, fiddling with the laces of his hoodie to try and quell the dreadful feeling in his stomach. </p>
<p>“Well, I guess I should get going if I wanna make it before dark,” Barley pondered. Laurel gave him a soft smile, moving to hug him tightly. Her oldest returned the gesture, releasing a soft sigh when his mother held on a few moments longer than he’d anticipated. </p>
<p>“Mom,” Barley chided. The older woman pulled away with a sniff, adjusting the frames of her glasses and crossing her arms. </p>
<p>“Just don’t be a stranger this time,” she said, “and text me when you make it back.”</p>
<p>“I will,” the larger elf promised, turning to his younger brother and pulling him in with a devious smirk. </p>
<p>“You behave yourself, young man,” he joked, ruffling the smaller elf’s hair roughly. Ian pushed away, giving the older man a stern look. He couldn’t be too upset, they had said their goodbyes last night when Ian had tip toed into his brother’s room. </p>
<p>Ian had practically clung to his older brother all night. </p>
<p>“Can’t you just stay ‘till Wednesday?” He had whimpered softly into the larger elf’s chest. </p>
<p>“I wish I could, sweetheart,” </p>
<p>The older elf had smothered him in kisses and held him tightly until the wee hours of the morning when he had to urge the smaller man to go back to his own room. </p>
<p>Eventually lan was able to calm himself down and get some sleep in the emptiness of his bedroom. </p>
<p>Still, it was hard watching Barley leave. Iandore never thought he’d be upset at watching the older man pull away from the driveway, but the quiet absence of his big brother left a void in his chest. </p>
<p>His very foundation had felt as if it had been cracked. What was he supposed to do now? For the entirety of the holiday his life had revolved around his brother and now it was just him and his mom once more. </p>
<p>It was definitely an adjustment, he hadn’t expected to miss Barley so much so soon. The older man had promised it wasn’t forever this time, and yet Ian still felt an inkling of abandonment. </p>
<p>He had driven Barley away last time, his actions made it so the other elf felt as if there was no other choice but to stay away. </p>
<p>That wasn’t fair to Barley, and Ian mentally kicked himself for putting that on his big brother. All he could do was hope that this time the older Lightfoot could see that Ian wanted him to be an active part of his life. </p>
<p>Receiving a cheerful text from Barley later that evening had quelled his anxiety a little. He had responded immediately, clutching his phone as if it were a life line. </p>
<p>Every night since then he had fallen asleep to the sound of Barley’s voice, the deep timber of his soft whispers over the receiver lulling Ian into slumber. It made the separation easier, but at times Ian almost felt as if he were pestering the older man. </p>
<p>Of course, Barley would reassure him that he could never be a bother and that he actually enjoyed their late night calls. It was a routine they easily fell into. </p>
<p>Going back to school was another challenge all together. Ian was no where near ready to face his peers, but Monday had rolled around once more and he didn’t have much of a choice. His only solace was that Barley had given him permission to text him any time. </p>
<p>“Don’t you have to work?” Ian had asked into his phone the night before he was to return to classes. </p>
<p>‘Yeah, but I’ll keep my phone on me,’ Barley murmured. </p>
<p>Still, the nervousness that had set in once Ian had peered upon the concrete building of his high school was overwhelming. Normally, he’d meet his friends at the front entrance, but after the events of Winterfest he knew they probably wouldn’t be so welcoming. </p>
<p>With a soft sigh, he moved to walk up the steps and entered through the glass doors. He kept his head down, not daring to glance at the usual meet up spot he and the gang had designated. </p>
<p>As he walked he couldn’t help but feel everyone’s eyes watching him. Perhaps it was just his paranoia, but the quiet whispers nipped at his ears as students murmured amongst each other. </p>
<p>Anxiously, he shook his head, timidly making his way to his locker before slinging his backpack off his shoulder and twisting in the combination. </p>
<p>The door squeaked as it popped open, the young elf hung his pack on one of the hooks and moved to take his phone out of his pocket. Quickly, he typed a message. </p>
<p>*Ian: today already sucks</p>
<p>He sighed, pressing the send button and sliding the device onto the top shelf of his locker, bending down to grab a few textbooks for his morning classes. </p>
<p>A quiet chime went off above him almost immediately, and he stood to reach for his cell once more to check the notifications. </p>
<p>*Barley: U’ll be fine. Im here if u need me :)</p>
<p>Ian smiled softly at the screen, he was about to reply when his phone was roughly slapped out of his hands. </p>
<p>“Texting your boyfriend, faggot?” Came a sneer from a tall cyclops. Ian watched the device clatter to the floor before his eyes darted up to meet a familiar face.  </p>
<p>Adrian Porter, the alpha of the senior class one might say, stood in front of him in a towering stance that had Ian shrinking away subconsciously. The one eyed teen’s broad build was intimidating and a thick pink finger jabbed at Ian’s chest hard, pushing the small elf back slightly. </p>
<p>“Don’t think I didn’t hear about what you did to my girl at that party, you little shit,” the cyclops spat. Ian shook his head, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He hadn’t been aware that Rivera was seeing someone, and briefly he wondered what she must have said to her one eyed boyfriend to make him so angry. </p>
<p>“W-What?” He stuttered, umber eyes darting nervously as he held his books to his chest. </p>
<p>The taller teen lowered his eye sternly, grabbing a fistful of Ian’s sweater and yanking him roughly forward. </p>
<p>“Stay away from her, you understand?” The taller man warned, shoving Ian away roughly before moving past him. He knocked his shoulder into Ian’s smaller frame, causing the smaller man to lose his balance. Luckily he caught himself on the locker. He released a breath, staring angrily at the floor where his phone had landed. </p>
<p>“Fuck you, man,” he muttered. He doesn’t intend for it to be audible, but it’s just in earshot of his peer. The cyclops stopped in his tracks, turning back with a fire in his deep blue eye. </p>
<p>“The fuck did you say?” He asked as he stalked back towards the smaller man. Ian swallowed, cowering away slightly. By now, a crowd of students had stopped to watch as the scene unfolded. A few had pulled their phones out to record the interaction that was about to transpire. </p>
<p>“Fuck him up, Porter!” A fellow athlete encouraged from the crowd. </p>
<p>“Adrian,” a feminine voice called. A familiar elf appeared from behind the cyclops from the sea of onlookers, grabbing ahold of him softly. Her eyes didn’t dare to meet Ian’s. The man in question shrugged her off roughly, approaching Ian and grabbing his arm tightly. </p>
<p>Ian winced, feeling his body viciously forced to the ground where he hit the tile painfully, his books spilling away from him. </p>
<p>“Adrian!” Rivera cried, pulling once more at her boyfriends green letterman jacket. The angsty teen ignored her still, kicking at one of Ian’s textbooks. </p>
<p>The elvish teen had caught himself on his hands, shifting his knees under him and gritting his teeth as he fought back tears. </p>
<p>“That’s right, stay on you knees where you fucking belong,” Adrian snarled, spitting down at the trembling elf. Saliva catching on Ian’s cheek wetly. Rivera finally managed to pull the jock away from the scene, Ian could hear her arguing with the other man as they walked off. </p>
<p>Disappointed murmurs filled the long halls as others began to recede back into their own bubbles, leaving Ian to sniff quietly to himself. </p>
<p>He let out a breath, still refusing to let his tears slide. Slowly, he reached to collect his books with one hand and wiping his cheek on his sleeve with the other. </p>
<p>If he tried hard enough, then perhaps he could find solace in the hopes that the worst was over. Still, he picked up his phone and groaned at the cracked screen. </p>
<p>Shakily, he stood, brushing himself off and moving to close his locker. The first bell chimed, echoing through the halls to indicate that classes were starting within the next five minutes. Ian sniffed once more, adjusting his textbooks and making his way down the hall, desperately trying ignore the knots in his stomach. </p>
<p>Classes weren’t so bad, however the sting of the morning had put Iandore in a sour mood. It was impossible for him not so suspect that he was the source of gossip around the school after his run in with Adrian. </p>
<p>He had eventually caught wind of the rumors floating around as he sat alone at lunch. Apparently, Rivera had told everyone that he was the one all over her that night, and he’d have thrown up on her if she hadn’t pushed him away. </p>
<p>Ian had tugged at his sweater nervously, a sick feeling washing over him as the worst case scenario unfolded before his eyes. It was no wonder everyone was avoiding him. </p>
<p>Quietly, he slid his phone out, tapping his thumbs over the broken screen. </p>
<p>*Ian: I’m having the worst day and I wanna go home</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for his phone to buzz, but his heart sank at the reply that he received. </p>
<p>*Barley: sorry, busy. Talk after school?</p>
<p>Ian rolled his eyes, looking about the cafeteria sadly. Hopefully things would calm down after some time had passed. Knowing the way of high schoolers, there was always something new for them to obsess over. </p>
<p>The rest of the school day dragged on for what seemed like forever. Ian anxiously watched the clock in his last class, leg bouncing with anticipation as the final bell went off.  He didn’t bother to stay for his teacher’s last announcement, grabbing his bag and bolting for the bus. </p>
<p>He didn’t call Barley until he was finally home, whipping his phone out as he approached the front door, pulling it open as he held the phone to his ear. </p>
<p>He had to bat Blazey away as he entered, climbing the stairs hurriedly. </p>
<p>‘Hello,’ Barley answered cheerfully by the third ring, just as Ian had opened the door to his room. </p>
<p>“Today absolutely sucked,” Ian said angrily as he tossed his book bag onto the floor next to his closet. He shut the door to his bedroom and moved across the room. </p>
<p>‘Tell me aaalll about it,’ Barley enthused over the line. The younger Lightfoot sighed deeply, dropping down onto his swivel chair and wheeling it over to his desk. </p>
<p>He didn’t want to go too far into detail over his morning, knowing all too well how protective Barley could be. Not to mention, he graduated with Adrian’s older brother and he didn’t want any risk of Barley attempting to contact either cyclops. </p>
<p>Ian decides it best to leave out the whole interaction with Adrian, setting an elbow on his desk and resting his forehead in his palm. </p>
<p>“It was just rough,” he breathes, eyes casting upward to graze over his calendar, “I really miss you,” he finishes quietly. Emotion begins to bubble in the back of his throat. All he wanted was for Barley to pull him into those strong arms and hold him until the pain of today washed away. </p>
<p>‘I know, here give me a sec,’ the older man pauses. Ian raises a brow, sitting back in his chair. His eyes searched the wood of his desk as he sat patiently for whatever it was Barley could be doing. </p>
<p>‘Alright, I just sent you my schedule so maybe we can work out a weekend where I can come down or something,’ Ian felt his phone buzz and he pulled it away from his ear to see a file had indeed been sent to him. Eagerly, he pressed the device back up to his ear. </p>
<p>“Well, what about this weekend?” He asked hopefully. He heard a deep chuckle from the other line. </p>
<p>‘If you’d look at the schedule you’d know I work this weekend,’ Barley teased. Ian scowled to himself, gripping the phone tightly with disappointment. </p>
<p>“Next weekend then?” </p>
<p>‘Ian, look. At. The schedule,’</p>
<p>“Why would I look at the schedule when I can just ask you?” The young wizard asked in frustration. His brother laughed over the line once more. </p>
<p>‘Honestly, I have yet to look at it myself,’ he admitted with a playful chuckle. Ian rolled his eyes at that. There’s chatter going on on the other line and Ian knits his brows skeptically. </p>
<p>“Are you still at work?” He asks. He can hear Barley sigh through the phone. </p>
<p>‘Yeah, but I’ve got a few minutes,’</p>
<p>Ian smiles at that, dropping a hand in his lap to play with the hem of his sweater. His eyes wander as he thinks, sliding his thumb over the soft fabric of his shirt. </p>
<p>“Did you have a good day?” He asks quietly. Barley chuckles. </p>
<p>‘Well, I’m trying to,’ the older man’s baritone voice fills Ian’s ear and the way he says those words reminds the younger elf of a familiar cassette tape. </p>
<p>“It’d probably be better if you were here,” Ian mumbled, looking down where he was fiddling with his shirt. </p>
<p>‘Oh, absolutely,’ Barley says softly. Ian hears someone else speaking and Barley groans, ‘look, we can talk about this later, okay? I gotta get off here though,’ the other man said. Ian felt his heart sink, slumping back in his chair sadly. </p>
<p>“Okay,” he mumbled, his eyes lifting once more to his cork board. Umber eyes shifted to a faded photo, studying thick rimmed glasses and a sideways smile. </p>
<p>He swallowed, adjusting his grip on the phone as he gazed upon the pictures of his departed father. </p>
<p>“Barely, can you just- can you tell me about dad before you go?” He asked timidly. He heard a sigh on the other side of the line, and briefly wondered if that had bothered the older man. </p>
<p>‘If I think about it hard enough I can still hear him playing his ukulele,’ Barley admitted softly. Ian jerked in surprise, but he smiles at that. This was something he hadn’t heard before. He shouldn’t be surprised though, there’s a photo of a young Barley curiously drumming against the wooden instrument Wilden is showing him. </p>
<p>“What about the last memory you have with him- at the cliffs?” Ian’s voice breaks slightly, a wave of tears stinging his eyes, “you said that he was proud of me?” </p>
<p>There’s a pregnant pause before Barley’s voice rumbles through the phone, his tone is somber but his words go unwavering. </p>
<p>‘Yes, Ian, he’s very proud of you,’</p>
<p>A teary smile spread across Ian’s face and he nodded, gripping the phone tightly. Warmth washed over him at those words and it felt as if the harshness of his morning had melted away. </p>
<p>‘I gotta go, okay?’ Barley said, voice still quiet. Ian sniffed, sitting up and wiping his cheek. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ll talk to you later,” Ian said, pausing for a moment before continuing, “thanks, Barley.”</p>
<p>‘No need to thank me, just try and have a good night, okay?’ the older Lightfoot murmured, ‘I love you.’ Ian swallowed, gripping his cell a little tighter. </p>
<p>“Y-yeah, goodnight,” he stuttered, pulling the phone from his ear and hanging up. </p>
<p>Languidly, he tossed the device onto his desk. His eyes ran back up the wall to the profile photo of his father. Ian smiles softly, feeling at ease knowing that despite everything at least he still made his father proud.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Our smol boi can’t catch a break apparently. </p>
<p>At least daddy’s proud tho</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m like thriving in all the juice that’s about to be SQUEEZED from this forbidden fruit. </p><p>Anyway, PLEASE enjoy :))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later that night Ian restlessly laid in bed, eyes staring up at the ceiling as his mind wandered aimlessly. </p><p>He couldn’t get past the conversation he’d had with his brother earlier that day. Barley had always told him the same three things about their father. Scratchy beard, goofy laugh, and the drums on his feets. So, to say it had taken him aback when Barley shared yet another precious memory of Wilden would be an understatement.</p><p>Of course, Ian knew that he pestered the older elf about their father sometimes, but his brother had always happily shared those little moments with him. So it was very strange to the younger Lightfoot that he’d keep something as innocent as the tune of a ukulele to himself, especially when he knows that those memories are practically the only pieces Ian has to the great puzzle that is their father. </p><p>Ian knitted his brows, throwing the covers off of himself and sliding out of bed. Hesitantly, he sat, starting at the floor as he pondered over the verbal exchange with his brother. </p><p>Silently, he stood, moving over to his desk and glancing up at the photos pinned to his board once more. He let out a soft breath through his nose before turning his attention to the drawer. </p><p>Hesitantly, the young mage grabbed the handle and slid it open, gazing upon the black pouch that he had placed there days ago. He picked it up carefully, another item catching his attention beneath it. </p><p>Gently, Ian set the gem onto the surface of his desk and reached back into the drawer. He rolled his eyes, not out of spite, just because he should have expected his older brother to slide a copy of Quests of Yore beneath the iridescent element. The small elf shakes his head, figuring the larger man must have snuck it into his room the day he left. </p><p>Curiously, Ian opened the book where the paper was bent at the corner, smiling fondly as it revealed the page dedicated to the Dragon’s Eye. Ian gazed upon the page softly, of course his brother had taken it upon himself to bookmark the very section he’d need. </p><p>The young elf shuffled back to sit at his chair, eyes scanning over the lettering. Thoughtfully, he glanced back over to the dark pouch. With an unsure gaze he grabbed ahold of the velvety fabric, turning it over and sliding the Dragon’s Eye into his palm. The gem was soft to the touch, and it shifted a pale green in the dim light of his bedroom. </p><p>Ian hummed, looking towards his door and back at the page. The text confirmed that his staff was required and he sighed heavily. </p><p>There’s a part of him that feels as if he should wait, but he couldn’t deny that his curiosity was peaked. He’d had a horrible day and maybe this could offer him some sort of relief from the weight on his chest. </p><p>Carefully, he set the crystal down and stood, quietly moving to his bedroom door. He gently pulled it open, not wanting to alert Blazey or his mother, and poked his head out to make sure the coast was clear. </p><p>Releasing a soft breath, he moved from the door way. His feet padded softly across the floor as he tiptoed down the stairs, silently retrieving his wizard staff from its pot by the door. He turned to head back up, wincing at the soft squeaks of the stair case. </p><p>Once he made it back to his room, he shut his door carefully, listening for the click as it closed completely. </p><p>He gripped his staff, heading back towards his desk and peering down at the opened book. There didn’t appear to be a magic decree that he hadn’t seen before, however there was a small section dedicated to recharging the gem. The text didn’t say anything about how specific he had to be, but it makes him pause for a moment. </p><p>What exactly was he going to ask to see? </p><p>His eyes wandered once more to the photos that littered his cork board. There was no question that he wanted to see his father more than anything and he smiled fondly at the photo of Wilden with Barley. </p><p>How neat it’d be to if he and his brother shared a memory of Wilden, he thought. </p><p>Ian pulled his eyes away from the board and tightened his lips, grabbing the gem and stuffing it into the wooden staff gently. </p><p>Umber orbs glanced over the page once more, reading the spell to himself to memorize before he moved to the center of his bedroom and set his staff up straight against the floor. </p><p>“Alright, hearts fire,” he mumbled to himself, still trying to be as quiet as possible. He took a deep breath, gazing upon the gem planted into his staff. </p><p>Softly, yet sternly, he began, “inside your dragon’s mind where you keep, behold to me your knowing eye,” his breath caught and eyes widened as the gem began to shake and glow within its cradle of wood. Nervously, he adjusted his grip on the base of the staff before finishing the chant, “a moment in time I wish to seek, grant to me this vision to spy.”</p><p>The Dragon’s Eye levitated from the staff that stood rigid on its own below, casting a sheer green glow that illuminated the room. A glittery sheen of light encased the small orb as it began to spin slowly above the staff. </p><p>Ian was in awe, aquamarine light washing over his pale blue skin. Reflects of light danced across his chocolate eyes as he shook his head, snapping himself out of it before clearing his throat. </p><p>“Show me a memory Barley has of our father,” he commands, taking a few steps back to gaze upon the shimmering glow. The anticipation in his chest swelled as he eagerly awaited the vision. Specks of light came together slowly, building a scene before him. </p><p>Ian smiles lovingly, already making out the figures that were beginning to form within the soft hues of blue and green.  </p><p>He made a mental note to thank Corey next time he saw her. This was the most precious gift she could have given him. To actually share a memory of his father with his brother? It was more than he could have ever asked for. </p><p>But, wait. </p><p>He furrows his brow as the scene before him unfolds. It’s blurry, of course it is- it’s a memory so he wasn’t expecting a clear picture. </p><p>Actually, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but it wasn’t this. </p><p>There’s no sound and although its fuzzy, it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Wilden had a younger Barley in his lap. It would have been innocent enough but-</p><p>Where the fuck are Wilden’s pants? </p><p>He’s placing a kiss against the small tot’s head, a hand woven into Barley’s thick head of hair. Ian stares in horror at the blank expression over his brother’s young face. His tiny fists holding tightly to the arm Wilden has wrapped around his chubby torso. </p><p>Wilden’s other arm is moving away from the soft baby hair on Barley’s head and slips behind the small child, stroking himself shamelessly as the toddler in his lap just kicks his feet languidly. </p><p>Ian blinks, searching the image for any indication that this isn’t what it appears to be, but all it does in unfold more horror. </p><p>“St-stop,” Ian mutters. It falls on deaf ears, and the gem keeps playing the memory over and over. </p><p>The young mage moves to his desk searching the text of the hardback book on how to end the spell, tears blurring his vision. He flips through the pages hurriedly, hands shaking so badly he nearly drops the book. It’s pointless however, the lights are fading and the image slowly dissipates. </p><p>Ian tossed the book back down, a hand running through his thick curls as he watched the gem descend back into the staff. He stumbles, bolting forward to catch the wood before it falls and stares blankly ahead as he tries to process what just happened.  </p><p>That wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. </p><p>Another hot tear rolls down his cheek and he hurriedly moves back to his desk.</p><p>He rips the gem from his wizard staff and tosses it back into the drawer along with the copy of Quests of Yore. He leans his staff against the desk and peers up at his cork board. </p><p>He feels sick to his stomach and his heart is beating against his chest. With a soft cry he reaches forward, plucking the tacks from the board and pulling the photos of Wilden down. </p><p>He stacks them neatly, tapping them against the surface of his desk so that they’re even before setting the polaroids  in a spot next to the gem. </p><p>He just can’t bare the thought of looking at them right now. </p><p>He steps back, sniffling sadly and gripping his hair once more. He wants to call Barley, he wants to beg and plead the older man to tell him that magic can get it wrong sometimes. </p><p>But this was an in person deal. He couldn’t just drop this bomb onto his brother without being there to comfort him in case this was real. </p><p>Still, he absentmindedly moves across the room the to grab his phone from the nightstand. </p><p>He unlocks it, tapping on his message icon and typing a quick text. He just feels as if he needs to say something, anything to let his brother know that he’s here. </p><p>And that if what he saw was an event that had transpired, then he understands. </p><p>He understands all too well the pain that follows such events. The mark that’s left to carry each day as a neon sign, regardless if anyone else could see it. It was there when Ian looked in the mirror, and he knew that’d be the case for Barley as well. </p><p>With tears brimming his eyes, one which escapes and drops onto his battered screen, he taps against the keyboard hurriedly. </p><p>*Ian: hey, I know it’s late. Just wanted to say I love you</p><p>He sends it before he can second guess it and silences his phone, tossing the device back onto his end table. He drops down onto his bed, watery eyes staring at the spot where the memory had played. His stomach turned at the thought and he wrapped his arms around himself tightly. </p><p>A thought crossed his mind that makes his heart stop, blood running like ice in his veins. </p><p>He made Barley say goodbye. </p><p>His grips the fabric of his shirt at that realization, fresh tears sliding down his freckled cheeks. Guilt washes over him as he quietly lets out a sob. </p><p>Slowly, he lays down and curls in on himself. He doesn’t expect to get any sleep that night, but the emotional exhaustion of his entire day holds him in its grasps. It takes a few hours, but eventually he does pass out. Darkness enveloping him in its embrace as he slips into a dreamless slumber. </p><p>It doesn’t last long, however, as the vibrations of his cell against the wood of his nightstand pulls him from his sleep. </p><p>Ian groans, groggily lifting his head at the sound of his phone buzzing. He sighed in frustration, sleepily reaching for the device and scanning over the screen with tired eyes. His heart drops, still he answers. </p><p>“Hello,” he mumbled. </p><p>‘Hey, are you okay?’ Ian’s stomach did a flop at the sound of his brother’s voice. He sat up, wiping sleep from his eyes and glanced around the room anxiously. </p><p>Memories of the night before flooded his mind and he cringed. </p><p>“Yeah, I-I’m okay,” he muttered. </p><p>‘You know you texted me at like two in the morning, right?’ Barley asked. Ian can hear him shuffling around on the other line. Curiously, he pulls his phone from his ear and grimaced. It was already six in the morning so Barley was no doubt getting up to start his day. </p><p>“I know,” he says, glancing around the room and feeling a sharp sense of dread grip his heart, “Barley, I-I need to see you.” The young mage slides of out his bed, moving to stand in the center of his room. </p><p>‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ </p><p>“I just need to see you- when can I come up there?” Ian stammers. They haven’t talked about him going to Barley’s, but there can’t be any chance of their mother over hearing the conversation Ian needs to share with his brother. </p><p>‘Ian what’s the matter?’ Barley insists. Ian just shakes his head, moving his phone away from his ear and putting it on speaker. He searches through his files to pull up Barley’s schedule. </p><p>“You’re off next weekend, I can come up then,” the young wizard mumbles, more to himself. </p><p>‘Well, actually I’m covering for someone that Saturday but are you sure you wanna come to me?’ The older man questions. Ian sighs, it’s not really up for debate at this point. </p><p>“Yeah, I wanna come to you,” he mutters sadly. The emotions of the night catching up to him. His heart aches for his brother dearly, knowing all too well the weight of that trauma. Fresh tears brim his eyes as he recalls the imagine the Eye had shown him. </p><p>‘Okay,’ the older man says, defeated, ‘I guess we can talk details later.’ Ian nods at this in agreement, not that his brother can see it. </p><p>“Alright,” Ian mumbles. He hears Barley breathe on the other line. </p><p>‘You’re making me nervous here, Ian.’ The smaller man grimaces, gripping his phone tightly. </p><p>“I’m okay, I promise,” he lied, shuffling a little in his spot, “I’m gonna go though, I gotta get ready for school soon.” It takes a lot to hide the tears in his voice. </p><p>‘Alright, keep in touch, okay? I love you,’ Barley says softly. Ian smiles sadly, sniffing back the tears. The pain in his chest is nothing compared to the warmth that floods him at those words. </p><p>“I love you, too”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooooooooooooffffffffff</p><p>I’m sure the use of the Eye was highly anticipated but can I just get an F for Ian and his horrible frickin day???</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There’s a very minor mention of violence here, I don’t even know if it warrants a warning bUt better safe than sorry. </p><p>Other than that, please enjoy :)))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The young Lightfoot grips the straps of his backpack, his eyes burning holes into the cement below him as he waits patiently at the bus stop. </p><p>Convincing Laurel that he wanted to visit his brother wasn’t difficult. Albeit it, the news had taken her aback since Ian had never shown any interest in visiting her eldest before, she had expressed that it might do the young mage some good to get out of New Mushroomton for a weekend.</p><p>She did have concerns of travel, however, but Ian had explained to her the plan that he and Barley had agreed on.</p><p>Although the older man had offered to drive the full three hours, Ian had suggested he ride the bus halfway. This way Barley wasn’t driving all night and Ian could just catch a ride as soon as school let out.</p><p>There was also the ever looming knowledge of having to ride in Guinevere once more, which Barley had constantly apologized for. Ian wasn’t too anxious about it, seeing as he was the one demanding this impromptu visit.</p><p> It definitely wasn’t helping him to settle his nerves.</p><p>He had been sitting on this new found knowledge of his brother’s relationship with their father for well over two weeks. The days had crawled by since then and with each passing moon he felt more and more as if he was suffocating beneath the weight of it all.</p><p>If he were being completely honest with himself, he wasn’t sure how he was going to react to seeing his brother. There was a part of him that almost wanted to leave the subject alone and move on. If Barley had wanted him to know about this, he would have told him.</p><p>The young mage had considered the possibility of the memory being repressed, it makes his stomach tighten at the thought of breaking such news to his older brother unintentionally. Still, if there’s one thing Ian knows it’s that baring that scar alone is the most isolating feeling. As cheerful as Barley could be, Ian had witnessed him start to uncork over Winterfest. Looking back, the older elf’s outburst towards their mother- the ice in his eyes as Ian had tried to comfort him, it all made sense now.</p><p>A sick feeling washed over the young wizard as he recalled how Wilden’s fingers had curled themselves into Barley’s hair. It hadn’t taken him long to piece that together after watching his brother’s memory.</p><p>He subconsciously rubs the skin at his wrist, umber eyes moving to scan the area once more.</p><p>The chill of the evening air kissed his cheeks, a pink flush creeping up from his face to the sharp tips of his ears. With a soft sigh, Ian pulled out his phone to check for any messages from his brother. There were no notifications and with a grimace, the young Lightfoot slid his phone back into his pocket. Barley should be here any moment, and it sends a wave of anxiety rippling through his body.</p><p>How would he even begin to broach the subject?</p><p>He doesn’t have the luxury of time to dwell on it however, strong arms are grabbing him from behind suddenly and lifting him from the bench he was perched on. It would have been a frightening experience if it weren’t for the familiar baritone of his brother’s voice ringing in his ears.</p><p>“Hey, there you are,” Barley says excitedly. Ian squirms in an effort to wiggle out of his brother’s iron grasp. His words are caught in his throat as the older man sets him down. </p><p>Warm amber eyes hit him like a ton of bricks. As per usual, Barley’s all lit up with a huge grin and his hands are at his hips as he waits for Ian to return a greeting.</p><p>Suddenly, he feels shakey and he has to remind himself to breath. He forces himself to clear his throat, pushing past the lump that had formed there the moment he was face to face with his brother.</p><p>“H-hey, I thought you were gonna t-text me,” he stutters. Barley chuckled, a blush sitting across his cheeks from the chill of winter and a plume of air leaving his lips as he spoke.</p><p>“Yeah, my phone died,” he explains with a shrug. He gives Ian a soft pat on the shoulder before he motions for the smaller elf to follow, “lets get you out of the cold,” he murmurs. Ian nods, feeling the initial shock begin to fade. He adjusts his pack, moving to follow after Barley as they walk to where his van was parked.</p><p>Ian grimaced slightly as he approaches the passenger side. However, he shoves down the nerves that begin to creep up his spine and tugs open the door. He tosses in his bag and slides in, reaching for his seatbelt after closing the door.</p><p>Barley slides in next to him, closing the driver’s side before he turns to the younger man. He sits back, one arm slinging over the steering wheel, and his alternate hand resting atop his thigh. There’s a seriousness to his gaze as he studies the younger Lightfoot. It’s enough to have Ian shrinking down into his seat and his eyes darting away from the larger elf as if he were a child about to be scolded by a parent.</p><p>“You gonna explain why you needed to see me?” Barley asked quietly. Ian doesn’t answer, just fumbles with the zipper of his jacket. Barley clicks his tongue, pulling his keys from a pocket inside his vest.</p><p>“It sounded pretty urgent,” he pries, sliding the key into the ignition. Ian stays silent, eyes glued to his boney knuckles as he continues messing with his jacket.</p><p>Barley sighs, pulling onto the road. There’s a significant amount of time that lapses, both brother’s sitting quietly as they pass mile after mile of endless highway. The silence is defeaning aside from the soft hum of the engine, which eats relentlessly at Ian.</p><p>“You know, you haven’t even complimented my new window,” Barley mumbles, voice cutting through the quiet softly. His eyes are trained on the road, but there’s a playful rift to his tone that has Ian releasing a nervous laugh.</p><p>“I guess I didn’t notice,” he says truthfully. He’d like to say that he felt guilty for the way he’d battered the van, but he wasn’t.</p><p>Barley just hums, a soft smirk on his lips as he drives. Ian turns his attention away, glancing out of the passenger window. There’s a soft pang in his chest that reminds him as to why he’s with his brother in the first place.</p><p>He wants to wait until they’re at Barley’s, but the nagging weight upon his shoulders that he had been carrying for weeks was starting to break him of his patience.</p><p>Nervously, he tugged at his sleeve. Umber orbs remain entranced by the twilight sky outside as words slip from his tongue before he can halt them.</p><p>“Hey, Barley?” He began, stomach dropping and the sour sense of dread enveloping his body. The older man gave a questioning hum, eyes still transfixed on the traffic ahead of them.</p><p>“Can I... ask you something about dad?” The younger Lightfoot inquires. Barley glanced over at him perplexed, but a smile graced his lips once more and he nodded.</p><p>“Sure,” he chirped. Ian pulled his gaze from the window to peer down into his own lap, his chest tight and his mind working to find the right words.</p><p>“Was he ever- I don’t know, rough with you?” Ian asked with a small shrug. Tears are already swelling in the back of his throat as he anticipates his older brother’s response.</p><p>Barley drew his brows together and looked back at Ian once more.</p><p>“What do you mean?” The larger elf said, glancing back at the highway. Ian let out a soft breath through his nose.</p><p>“I don’t know, was he ever like you?” Ian tried again. His heart was pounding against the cage of his ribs. Still, what he was asking just didn’t seem to be clicking with his older brother.</p><p>“I dunno, mom said he was pretty eccentric sometimes,’ Barley said thoughtfully. Ian rolled his eyes in frustration, wanting nothing more than for this to be over with.</p><p>“No,” he groaned, turning in his seat to face his brother a little more, “I mean, I-I watched one of your memories with him,” the young mage admitted carefully. He watched Barley’s expression fall, the color seeping away from the older man’s face. Ian felt his heart hit the floor.</p><p>Nervously, he continued, “I guess I’m just... trying to understand what I saw,” he mumbles. There’s a hopeful part of him that eagerly awaits an explanation. That perhaps the memory was skewed or the spell had been performed incorrectly.</p><p>But its as if Barley doesn’t register the question, instead he moved a hand from the wheel to start sifting through his cassette tapes, eyes moving back and forth from the road.</p><p>“Finally gettin’ some use outta that Eye, huh?” He says nonchalantly. Ian swallowed, eyes searching the older elf.</p><p>“Barley?” He asks carefully. The man in question ignores him, pulling out a tape with a satisfied hum before sliding it into the receiver. Music flowed through the stereo at mid volume, the larger elf tapping his thumbs against the wheel to the beat. His face was stern, eyes glaring ahead.</p><p>“Barley,” Ian said, louder this time so he could be heard over the riff of a guitar. This earned him no response, so, summoning his courage, Ian tried once more.</p><p>“Y-you can tell me,” the younger Lightfoot stammered.</p><p>“There’s nothin’ to tell,” Barley quips, pressing harder on the gas pedal. Annoyance was evident in his tone and Ian felt a bubble of anxiety in his chest. He knows he shouldn’t pry, but this little bit is only confirming what he saw. It’s enough to make his lip quiver with an overwhelming sadness.</p><p>“Barley, I watched it happen,” he says almost defeated, his voice breaking and tears brimming his eyes.</p><p>“You don’t know what you saw,” Barley spat. Ian flinched at the sudden harshness of his brother’s tone. He could see that he was beginning to strike a nerve but he couldn’t help himself. For two weeks he carried this alone, second guessing everything his brother had ever shared to him about Wilden.</p><p>Wondering about the cliffs and how Barley must have felt being thrown into that situation so suddenly.</p><p>To face it alone once more.</p><p>“Then please, tell me what it was,” Ian begs, “I-I saw him with you, Barley- like what you’d do to me before you-“ he’s hardly got the words out before they’re cut off by the sudden jerk of Barley angrily wrenching the vehicle off the road, speeding towards an exit and pulling up to a rest stop. Ian’s already bracing for impact as Barley hits the breaks, the tires screech painfully as the vehicle hard comes to a sudden halt before the larger elf is throwing it in park.</p><p>The music shut off with the engine, a shrill silence enveloping the brothers. The older man turned suddenly to Ian with a fire in his eyes. The smaller elf subconsciously cowered away, shrinking down as if he were trying to hide. Still, a large hand grabbed him by the arm, pulling him as far forward as the seatbelt would allow.</p><p>“I am not him,” Barley says darkly, his grip tightening and sienna embers burning into the trembling elf before him. His grip wasn’t painful, however the fear coursing through Ian’s body as he’s jerked once more is very real, “you understand? I am not him.” Ian’s eyes widened, he moved a little to try and pull away but Barley yanked at him once more.</p><p>“You don’t know a damn thing about what you think you saw, so just leave it at that,” the older Lightfoot shoved him away, probably a lot harder than he’d intended. Ian hit against the door with how roughly he’d been pushed, a soft whimper escaping him. Out of instinct, Ian lifted a hand to cradle the spot where Barley had grabbed him. His body was shaking at the rush of panic that was beginning to seep in, his heart hammering in his chest. </p><p>Barley grabs ahold of the handle to his own door, throwing it open, “and stay out of my fucking head,” he spits before exiting the vehicle. The door slams behind him, rocking the van with it’s force. Ian felt his tears finally fall as he released the breath that was caught in his lungs from the whole interaction.</p><p>He ran both hands through his hair, panting softly as he made an attempt to ground himself.</p><p>He can’t blame Barley for the reaction he had, but the validation that Wilden had abused him sinks deep into Ian’s skin and grips his heart in an iron vice. Tears stain his pale blue cheeks as he tries to wrap his mind around it, fisting his palms in his fluffy azure hair.</p><p>Eventually, the small elf drops his hands into his lap and stares out the windshield, watery eyes searching for any sign of his brother. But, the darkness encases their surroundings. Ian sighs, sitting back to let his body relax against his seat. There’s a hefty length of time that passes. So much so that the cold from outside begins to seep within the cracks of the windows and chilling the younger man to the bone.</p><p>He quietly wraps his arms around himself, eyes still searching expectantly over the outside. There’s a soft glow of a vending machine and street lamps sparsely scattered about the area, but still no sign of Barley.</p><p>Ian sighs, dropping in his face in his palms as a hot wetness breached his eyes once more. He should have kept his mouth shut. He should have never attempted to invade his brother’s privacy this way. </p><p>He doesn’t have long to dwell on the matter however. The driver’s side door opens slowly to reveal a much calmer Barley. Ian watches carefully as the older man slides into the van and tugs his door shut. Double moonlight hitting his empty hazel eyes as he searched the dash mindlessly.</p><p>Ian feels the pressure of the tension that’s emitting from Barley’s stocky form. Without a word, the older man slides his key back into the ignition to start the car, immediately shutting off the stereo and sliding the temperature gage to begin heating the van.</p><p>Ian’s eyes fall onto the older Lightfoot’s right hand where his knuckles are bruised and bleeding minutely. It makes the young wizard’s breath catch, a gasp that seemingly falls on deaf ears. However the knowledge that Barley’s feelings over the matter had manifested physically was a little unsettlingly to say the least.</p><p>Regardless, he doesn’t ask about it. Meekly, the smaller elf sits back, his hands gripping his seat tightly as he waits for Barley to say something.</p><p>The older elf stays silent, however, the soft rush of air leaving the vents is the only thing that’s nipping at the young elf’s ear drums.</p><p>Barley’s voice does eventually cut through the silence like a knife, his tone is somber and his eyes stay on the dash, “so, is that the reason you needed to see me?” He asks quietly. Ian sniffs, looking back down into his lap.</p><p>“Y-yeah,” he answers, his voice hardly a whisper. The older Lightfoot stays quiet, moving to shift the car into drive. Another tear runs down Ian’s cheek, he moves a hand to catch it as the tightness in his chest constricts. </p><p>“I-I just wanted to be able to say that we-we shared a memory with dad,” he cries softly. Barley remains stoic, the lack of emotion on his face makes it difficult to try and piece together what he must be thinking.</p><p>The older Lightfoot pulls back onto the road, merging back onto the highway. His hand comes off the wheel to hover just above it as he absentmindedly flexes his fingers. A soft grimace dances over his features before he sets his hand back down.</p><p>With the click of his tongue he speaks, “you don’t need to have memories of dad,” he starts, his voice flat. Aggravation creeps into his tone as he continues, “all you need is everything I’ve already told you.” He hits against the steering wheel with the side of his hand to punctuate the last part. Ian flinches, a shameful grimace on his face as he looks back down at his lap. Tears blur his vision as his eyes fix themselves onto his folded hands with a sniff.</p><p>The older man’s face immediately softens at that and he glances over at Ian with worry etched in his features. Barley’s lips tighten, eyes turning back to the road and hands sliding lower on the steering wheel.</p><p>“Look, I’m not mad at you, okay?” He says, “I’m just- I can’t talk about it right now.” Ian pulls his gaze away from his lap to turn his attention to his brother. He gives the man a small nod and sniffs once more. </p><p>“Just promise you’ll leave my memories alone from now on,” Barley says quietly. Ian sniffles once more, trying to dry his eyes on his sleeve. </p><p>“I-I will,” he says sadly, “I’m sorry, Barley,”</p><p>Barley gives him a sympathetic look and leans to the side, his bruised hand reaches to caress the smaller elf’s knee, squeezing gently in an attempt to comfort the young mage. There’s a tender glint that glazes over the larger elf’s expression as he catches Ian’s doe eyed gaze. It melts away any fear Ian had previously felt during his older brother’s outburst and his tears finally stem.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, alright?” The older man murmurs softly, removing his hand from Ian’s thigh to hold the wheel. </p><p>“Okay,” the younger Lightfoot says with a sad smile, sliding down in his seat and watching out his window once more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A weekend at Barley’s??? Sounds like the set up for some juice :3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright, so there’s some minor dub/con but nothing too major. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the drive had gone by quietly. They did eventually reach Barley’s new home town, much to Ian’s relief. </p>
<p>The town of Stonemead was significantly larger than New Mushroomton. It wasn’t at all surprising considering it was a college town, home to Stonemead University where Barley had previously attended before dropping out. Ian assumes he must have gotten an apprenticeship at the shop where he works during his time at school, but they had little to no communication during that time so he wasn’t certain. </p>
<p>Barley’s silent as he pulls into the parking lot of an apartment complex. The cobblestone architecture being a common theme throught out the town. </p>
<p>He parks, shutting off the engine and turning to Ian, there’s a glint of something eerily familiar behind his eyes and his voice is somber when he speaks. </p>
<p>“Ready?” Ian nods, pushing down the anxiety that’s creeping up his spine and reaching for his bag. They each exit the vehicle and Ian follows closely behind the older man as he guides them to his apartment. </p>
<p>Theres three buildings total, alined in a row. Each one seemed to be two stories high. Barley guides them to the one on the far right, searching his keys as they approach one of the apartments on the far end of the bottom floor. </p>
<p>Ian waits patiently for him to unlock the door, looking around at their surroundings casually. </p>
<p>Barley pushes the door open, motioning for Ian to enter. Hesitantly, the smaller man ducks inside. The lights are off, save for the glow of the small electric wall torches that decorate the walls. </p>
<p>Ian’s eyes wander over the living room, he turned to his brother who was shutting the door and turning the deadbolt. </p>
<p>“It’s cleaner than I was expecting,” Ian chuckled softly in an attempt to light the mood. Barley’s face stays stoic as he moves to grab Ian’s bag with his bruised hand. </p>
<p>“I picked up a bit before I left,” he murmurs, tossing the bag onto the dark couch that sat against the far left wall. Ian swallowed, feeling his breath catch as Barley pulled him in for a deep kiss. </p>
<p>Their lips mold together, the older Lightfoot cradling his brother’s face in his palms as his mouth slid to deepen the kiss. Ian’s hands shakily landed on Barley’s shoulders, nervously trying to reciprocate the larger elf’s ministrations. </p>
<p>Vast palms move from his face to his willowy waist, sliding up his hoodie to glide over bare skin. Barley’s tongue dipped past Ian’s plump lips to taste the inside of his mouth, bringing the smaller man in closer with his strong hands. </p>
<p>Ian could feel his heart pounding against his chest, fisting his hands in the rough denim of his older brother’s vest. </p>
<p>Barley pulls away for a moment, pupils blown and a faint blush across his cheeks. Their eyes lock for a moment before Ian drops his gaze, pulling away slightly to slide a hand down Barley’s arm to grab ahold of his hand. </p>
<p>It dwarfs his own, still, Ian inspects the appendage carefully. The skin atop each knuckle appears to be scraped, dried blood already forming scabs across the top of Barley’s fist. </p>
<p>Ian swallows, giving the older man’s hand a soft squeeze. </p>
<p>“What did you hit?” Ian asks quietly, eyes stay transfixed on his brother’s wound. He hears Barley scoff, his free hand still wrapped around Ian’s torso. </p>
<p>“A few things,” the larger elf mumbles. Ian grimaced, lofting his head to meet Barley’s gaze. </p>
<p>“You should probably ice this,” he murmurs. Barley shakes his head, pulling both hands away to cradle Ian’s face in his palms once more. </p>
<p>“It’s fine,” he says, pulling the smaller man’s face to his for another kiss. Lips sliding together firmly before Barley is pulling away once more with half lidded eyes. </p>
<p>“I know I’m supposed to ask,” he starts, voice rumbling from his chest and sending a chill down Ian’s spine, “but I really need you right now.” </p>
<p>The young mage swallows thickly, doe eyes wide and nervousness erupting in his stomach. </p>
<p>He knew that by coming here sex was a possibility. Still, he felt a wave of fear wash over him at how tightly Barley’s grip was becoming. </p>
<p>Shakily, he nodded anticipating the next kiss that Barley plants on his mouth. </p>
<p>This time when the older man pulls away he grabs Iandore by the hand, tugging him along to the hallway on the far left. Their are two doors beside each other on the right hand side of the hall and he opens the farthest one, guiding the smaller elf inside. </p>
<p>Ian doesn’t have time to register his new surroundings as his older brother is roughly pulling him back into his strong embrace. </p>
<p>Their lips crash together once more and then the older man dips lower, peppering kisses along Ian’s jawline and down his lithe neck. The small mage is beside himself at the intimacy, feeling hands slide up his shirt once more. Barley moves to pull the fabric off this time and Ian flushes a deep pink. </p>
<p>Barley never removes the top half of his clothing when they do this and he can’t help but feel extremely vulnerable. </p>
<p>He doesn’t even realize he’s trembling until his instinctively moves to unbutton his jeans with shakey hands. </p>
<p>“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe,” Barley says softly, lifting the smaller elf’s chin with the tips of his fingers. Ian’s deep brown orbs catch Barley’s sienna flames, searching intently for any sign of malice. </p>
<p>All he finds is a deep passionate gaze that envelops him in a sense of warmth. </p>
<p>Ian releases a breath through his nose, and Barley pulls him in for a tight hug. The older elf buries his nose in his little brother’s fluffy curls and holds him for a moment. </p>
<p>When he pulls away he gently walks Ian to the large bed against the far wall, lifting him to set him on the mattress before tugging off his vest. </p>
<p>Ian watched as the heavy fabric hits the carpeted floor carelessly, shifting his gaze back up to his brother who was leaning down to catch his lips once more. </p>
<p>This time, Ian welcomes the tongue that slides past the opening of his mouth. Their tongues dancing as Barley slides the younger man’s legs apart to settle between them as he lays his little brother back on the bed. </p>
<p>Ian sucks Barley’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucks. His brother releases a deep moan that rumbles through his chest, his wide hand sliding up the expanse of Ian’s bare torso. It glides up his tiny neck and cups his pointed ear. Barley’s thumb grazes over the sensitive edge as he rolls his hips and Ian can’t help the whimper that escapes him. </p>
<p>He pulls away from the kiss to lean his head back, exposing more of his neck. </p>
<p>“Barley-“ </p>
<p>“Shh,” the older man hushes him, still caressing his ear softly. It makes the base of Ian’s skull tingle as tiny waves of pleasure blossom in his groin at the friction. </p>
<p>Barley places a kiss against Ian’s chin, moving down to press one against his neck, and further once more to nibble at his defined collar bone. </p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot curls his legs around Barley’s waist, feeling a trail of warmth as the older man glides his hands down to undo the buttons of Ian’s jeans. </p>
<p>The willowy elf leans up onto his elbows as Barley pulls away to tug at the fabric. Ian shifts to kick off his shoes before allowing his older brother to finish removing his pants, leaving him completely nude before the larger man. </p>
<p>A blush hits his cheeks and travels to the tips of his ears. He can feel his chest tighten at the nervousness encasing him, but a loving hand grabs his cheek and Barley is swooping down to place a soft kiss against his lips. </p>
<p>When he pulls back, he drags an expansive hand down Ian’s abdomen, his eyes engraved by the sight before him. Quickly, Barley tugs off his beanie and kicks his own shoes off. He grabs one of Ian’s knees to spread his legs before kneeling down between them. </p>
<p>Ian breathes, watching his brother descend between his thighs. Hazel eyes half lidded and unashamed as Barley runs his tongue up the length of Iandore’s cock. </p>
<p>Ian moans, falling back onto the mattress and fisting his hands in the fabric of the comforter. He feels strong hands push his legs up by the backs of his thighs. The hot tongue on his dick moves further south to trace his hole, digging in slightly. </p>
<p>“Oh, please-“ Ian whimpers as he arches his back in pleasure. Barley moans, tongue tracing lazy circles against the younger man before he’s pulling away and moving back up to stand. He scoops the smaller elf up and slides him up the bed so his head is resting on the pillows. Barley then unbuttons his pants and shucks them off before climbing up to meet the young wizard. </p>
<p>He plants soft kisses against Ian’s lips before he moves to reach for the nightstand, tugging open the drawer and retrieving a bottle. </p>
<p>Ian feels his heart jump in his throat, his anxieties from earlier returning. </p>
<p>“W-wait,” he mutters, shifting on the bed to move away. Barley shoved the drawer closed, setting the lube beside them and turning back to his brother. </p>
<p>His eyes are soft but his grip is hard as he holds the younger elf in place. </p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Barley whispers. He presses a kiss to Ian’s forehead before he lifts him up. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna turn you around,” he warns. Ian shakes his head, breath coming harder as panic sets in. </p>
<p>“Can we just keep kissing?” He asked, voice wavering with fear. Barley breathes through his nose, burying his face in the crook of Ian’s neck. </p>
<p>“Ian, you gotta trust me,” he murmurs. Ian let out a sigh, turning his attention to the bottle of lube beside them and swallowing. </p>
<p>He thinks back to the ride over, to the memory he’d witnessed and it all clicks together. </p>
<p>Barley was just a toddler when Wilden had abused him. The damaged he inflicted upon his own son had broken something inside of the older Lightfoot brother. Using Ian this way was seemingly the only outlet he had found for the troubled feelings that must be bubbling beneath his skin constantly. </p>
<p>Why else wouldn’t he have stayed away?</p>
<p>With tears in his eyes, Ian nods, realizing now that this is Barley asking for help the only way he knows how to. So, with a soft sigh, Ian shifts to turn himself over and laying his face against the pillow that was beneath his head. </p>
<p>“Okay,” he mutters softly. He feels a hand run through his hair and he squirms to get more comfortable. He feels Barley lean over him and a sweet kiss is pressed to the side of his head. </p>
<p>“Hey, I want you to enjoy this too,” Barley says quietly. Ian feels more tears well in his eyes at that, coming to the realization that sex may never be enjoyable for him. </p>
<p>“I-I don’t think I can,” he cries, letting the stem of his tears flow freely into the pillow. Barley stays quiet for a moment, running a soothing hand down Iandore’s back. </p>
<p>He hears the soft click of the cap and he breathes, trying to control the thrumming of his pulse. </p>
<p>Barley warms the slick substance between his fingers before his slides one between Ian’s cheeks. He teases at the younger man’s entrance before he dips the tip of his index finger inside. </p>
<p>Ian tenses at the intrusion, gripping the pillow tightly. </p>
<p>“Relax,” Barley soothes, rubbing soft circles into Ian’s back once more with his free hand. Ian tries, but it’s difficult when the finger inside him is just pressing deeper. </p>
<p>The digit presses against the gland inside of him that floods his body with pleasure and his hips jerk involuntarily against the mattress. He moans softly as Barley pulls his finger out and then back in. </p>
<p>“Sounds to me like you’re enjoying it,” the older elf says smugly. Ian blushes in mild shame, rocking against his brother’s hand absentmindedly. </p>
<p>The hand on his back moves and the man behind him shifts. It doesn’t take long to figure out what he’s doing, letting out a small squeak as cold lube drips into the crevice of his ass. He feels a second digit press against his puckered hole as Barley sets the bottle aside once more. </p>
<p>Ian takes it easier than he expects, groaning at the feeling as his brother’s fingers sink into him. </p>
<p>“Good boy,” Barley praises quietly. He continues prepping the smaller elf, generously adding more lube as he fits a third finger into him. </p>
<p>There’s a tight stretch that follows, but soon Barley has a rhythm going with his hand that has Iandore arching his back into his brother’s touch and panting softly. </p>
<p>“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so good,” Barley murmurs, watching in awe as his thick fingers disappear into the smaller man beneath him. </p>
<p>The heat in his boxers is almost unbearable and he palms at himself with his free hand. </p>
<p>Suddenly, he pulling his hand away and Ian sighs at the empty feeling. He turns back and watches as Barley removes his shirt, tossing it away and pulling his boxers off next. </p>
<p>He’s never seen Barley completely naked, and he can’t help but stare for a moment. Hot sienna eyes lock onto his as the older man lifts up his tiny hips and reaches for the lube once more. </p>
<p>Ian drops his head between his shoulders, feeling another rush of tears. </p>
<p>“C-can we just try a different position?” He asks quietly, his body is shaking once again and a tear slides out of his eye to drip down his nose. </p>
<p>Barley doesn’t hesitate to pull him up, tugging a pillow down and slinging Iandore around. He lays the young mage so that the pillow rests under his hips and shoots him a soft smile. </p>
<p>“Better?” The older man asks. Ian sighs, it’s as good as it can get he figures. It’s not like it matters however, since Barley goes right back to pouring a generous amount of lube into his palm. He strokes his cock a few times, eyes staring down at Ian with a hungry gaze. </p>
<p>He then hooks his arms under Ian’s knees to pull him up, moving one hand to grab his thick girth once more to press it against Ian’s hole. </p>
<p>Ian’s breath catches and he closes his eyes as Barley pushes forward. He expects pain, he expects it to burn and feel intrusive. However, the other man’s free hand is stroking his thigh lovingly and he tries to focus on that instead. </p>
<p>There isn’t pain like he’s expecting, but there’s a pinching sensation that has Ian’s breathing coming in hard as if he can’t get enough air. </p>
<p>Barley bends down, placing a kiss against his little brother’s forehead lovingly. He hushes him softly, moving his hips slowly so that each time he presses in, Ian is taking more and more little by little. </p>
<p>Eventually, Barley presses all the way forward, fully sheathing himself inside of the younger. The larger elf groans, peppering kisses across Ian’s freckled cheeks. They stay like that for a moment, larger elf giving Ian a moment to adjust to the feeling before he slowly rolls his hips. </p>
<p>Ian moved to hold onto Barley’s shoulders, a moan forcing itself from his body as his brother’s thick length grazes against his prostate. </p>
<p>“You’re such a good boy,” Barley moans softly into his ear. He hooks his arms beneath Ian’s thighs once more so that the younger man’s legs are dangling over them. He pulls Ian closer, rolling his hips forward once more to press even deeper. </p>
<p>Pleasure bursts within Ian’s groin. Intercourse had never been a pleasurable experience for him, but this had his mouth falling open and a blush creeping across his pale blue skin. </p>
<p>His nails dig into the skin at Barley’s shoulder, soft whimpers emitting from his lips as his brother starts to move faster. The glide of his cock pushing in and out of the young wizard’s hole has the smaller man preening. </p>
<p>“Barley~” he moans, dragging his nails down the older Lightfoot’s back. They stay like that for a moment, Ian leaving deep scratches down Barley’s back as the older Lightfoot pounds into him. </p>
<p>The larger elf groans, pressing in until the apex of his pelvis is seated against Ian’s ass. He pauses, eyes glancing down and a smug grin gracing his features. Ian’s draws his brows together, brain foggy and his pulse thrumming. He darts his hazy orbs to where Barley’s staring and his eyes widen with shock. </p>
<p>A bulge in his lower abdomen can clearly be seen in the moonlit room and he’s so taken aback by it that he doesn’t see Barley move his hands to grab his frail waist to rock his hips slowly. </p>
<p>The bugle comes and goes with each thrust, Ian watches in mild horror and awe, falling back against the pillows once more. </p>
<p>A deep groan escapes the older man, a glint of lust blooms behind his hot amber eyes as he lifts Ian’s hips off the bed to meet his thrusts. </p>
<p>“Hold on,” he warns before tightening his grip on the boney hips of his brother. He sets a bruising pace that has Ian arching his back. The sound of skin hitting against skin fills the room. </p>
<p>His brother’s cock relentlessly rubs against his prostate, the tip emerging just under his skin. It has the younger man crying out, his head throw back and the arch of his body tightening. </p>
<p>Ian grabs one of Barley’s hands at his waist to ground himself, feeling pleasure build all too quickly in his groin. He cums hard, hips stuttering against his brother’s brutal pace and a cry leaving his throat. </p>
<p>“Ahhn, Barley-“ Ian goes limp, body jerking each time Barley’s hips meet his own. The older man just watches, star struck by the sight. </p>
<p>“Gods, baby- I haven’t even touched you,” Barley moans. He pounds into the smaller form a few more times, sliding his thumb to the spot where his cock emerged beneath skin to rub deep circles into it. He groans, his rhythm faltering and a hot substance filling the younger man beneath him as he reaches his own climax. </p>
<p>He lets out a breath, leaning over Ian to plant kisses all along his neck and face lovingly before he slumps, still pressed deep inside his younger brother. </p>
<p>They stay like that for a moment, panting hard and curling around each other. Ian bends to place a soft kiss against his older brother’s lips, pulling away to meet glazed eyes with his own. </p>
<p>Barley sighs, bringing up a hand to caress Ian’s cheek gently. </p>
<p>“You’re amazing,”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That bulge scene was a gift to a very specific someone</p>
<p>You know who you are ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Quick little thing here, Caileech is the Gaelic malevolent goddess of winter just so there’s no confusion. It’s only briefly mentioned so</p>
<p>Anywho, please enjoy this next chapter :)))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so peacefully, wrapped in the strong arms of his older brother beneath a soft black comforter and the quiet hum of the ceiling fan above them. </p>
<p>He’s so out of it that he completely sleeps through Barley’s alarm, only noticing that the warmth of his brother’s chest is no longer pressed to his back. However, sleep encases him in its grasp and fills his brain with too much of a fog to investigate the lack of the older man’s presence. </p>
<p>It’s not until a hand is running through his hair lovingly that he’s pulled enough from his slumber to open his eyes groggily. He barely comprehends his brother staring down at him with a lopsided smile, fully dressed for the day. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Barley whispers, leaning down a little so he doesn’t have to speak too loud, “I gotta go, okay? I’ll be back later.” He bends further to press a sweet kiss to his little brother’s forehead, murmuring softly, “I love you.” Ian merely hums, the earthy smell of coffee and a soft hint of body spray filling his nose at his brother’s presence. </p>
<p>The younger elf stretches slightly on the vast mattress and nuzzles into the blankets further. </p>
<p>“‘Mkay,” he mumbles, already slipping back into the realm of sleep. When he eventually awakens it’s like no time has passed and he groggily sits up, a hand coming up to rub the sleep from his eyes as a deep yawn slips from his lips. The fog of slumber lifts from his head as he looks around the room. </p>
<p>The black out curtains prevent the sun from entering the one window that’s in there, however light seeps in from where the door is cracked open and Ian can easily make out his surroundings.</p>
<p>Languidly, the small elf pulls the covers away, grimacing at the realization that he’s still completely nude. The cool air hits his skin, goosebumps spreading over his flesh as he slips out of the bed. Ian wraps his arms around himself, searching for his bag when he remembers that Barley had tossed it onto the couch.</p>
<p>With a huff, Ian turns back to the bed and pulls off one of the sheets to cover himself. The fabric drags behind him as he moves quietly to the door, poking his head out into the hallway before exiting Barley’s bedroom. </p>
<p>He makes his way down the short hallway, the opening reveals the living room to his right from where he’s standing and a small kitchenette to the left. The openness of the small space makes it seem as if the apartment is bigger than it actually is.</p>
<p>Ian tightens his lips, eyes darting over the dark futon against the wall where his bag still sits where it was tossed the night before. With one hand holding the blanket in place at his chest, he walks over to the couch, bending down to grab his pack with his free had before he moves to return to Barley’s bedroom.</p>
<p>Setting the bag on the bed, he unzips it and grabs a change of clothes, shrugging the sheet off and tossing it back onto the mattress. He hastily gets dressed, pulling on a deep red hoodie and a fresh pair of dark wash jeans. After tugging on a pair of socks, he bends to grab his pants from the night before and digs his phone out of the front pocket. He checks the time, shocked to see it’s nearly noon. There’s also a text notification from Barley that his eyes skim over.</p>
<p>*Barley: U were pretty out of it when i left this morning. Just make urself at home. I should be back around 3ish :)</p>
<p>Ian hums, locking his phone and peering around the room for a moment. Memories of the night before dance behind his eyes. He’s still unsure of how he feels about it, still, it was a refreshing change of pace considering how sour it could have turned.</p>
<p>The young Lightfoot pushes that thought from his mind though. Despite what had happened in the past, it’s evident that Barley is really trying to make a difference in how he deals with his urges. Now that Ian has a more clear understanding of his brother’s actions, he can work towards being there more for the older man rather than cowering away from him.</p>
<p>It’s a price to pay, Ian thinks as he slides his phone into his pocket. He still has a lot of feelings to work through when it comes to intimacy between him and Barley, however, last night had shown him that it was possible to find enjoyment out of it.</p>
<p>Ian blushes at that thought, because this is his brother he’s having a sexual relationship with. It’s a thought he doesn’t let linger for long, instead he turns to leave the bedroom once more in the hopes of finding a late breakfast.</p>
<p>His feet pad softly against the carpeted floor of the hallway. Instead of turning into the living room, he heads for the kitchen. There’s a small bar similar to the one back home that’s rounded off at the end and protrudes from the wall. Ian notes the two beat up bar stools that are tucked under it as he turns to enter the small kitchen.</p>
<p>With a hum he begins to rummage cabinets, much to his disappointment as he comes across hardly anything that’d be suitable for a small meal. There’s a half empty bag of cheese puffs that he begrudgingly grabs, tossing it on the bar and turning to the fridge.</p>
<p>It’s even more barren than the cabinets but he grabs the carton of orange juice that’s in there. There isn’t much left, still he grabs a stein mug from the dish strainer and pours the rest of the orange liquid into it. With a satisfied hum he sets the empty carton down and slides his mug to meet the cheese puffs before he walks around the bar and pulls out a stool.</p>
<p>He’s just pulling his mug to his lips when his phone goes off, startling the young mage and splashing orange juice over the front of his hoodie.</p>
<p>“Son of a...” he groans, looking down at the front of his soaked fabric and sets his mug down with a grimace. He stands, sliding his phone out of his pocket and checking the caller ID.</p>
<p>Shit.</p>
<p>“Hey, mom,” he answers, holding the device up to his ear and his eyes scanning around the kitchen for paper towels.</p>
<p>“So, I see you made it to your brother’s okay,” she chides. Ian rolls his eyes. They were supposed to text her once they made it to Stonemead, however, due to the events of last night it had slipped each of the Lightfoot brothers minds.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m sorry, mom,” he mumbles, gaze finally landing on the paper towel roll that was set in the middle of the small table pushed against the far wall of the kitchen. He hastily grabs at the napkins, ripping them away from the roll and dabbing the front of his shirt in an effort to dry it. “We got a little... side tracked,” the young mage offers, a blush creeping over his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Hm,” Laurel hums over the receiver, “well, are you having a good time so far?” She asks. Ian releases a breath through his nose, discarding the used paper towels.</p>
<p>“Yep, havin’ a blast,” he grumbles as he stares at the stain on his hoodie. It’s the only long sleeve he brought aside from his jacket. Normally, he’d be over prepared for anything, but due to the string of emotions he’d been experiencing prior to this, he didn’t really pay much attention to what he was packing.</p>
<p>“Well, just keep in touch, okay?” Laurel says. Ian nods, turning to make his way back to Barley’s bedroom to find something to change into.</p>
<p>“I will,” he promises, pushing the door open and glancing around the room. His eyes land on Barley’s closet and he tightens his lips in thought.</p>
<p>“Alright, I love you, sweetie,” his mother says sweetly. </p>
<p>“Love you too,” he mumbles, pulling his phone from his ear and hanging up. He moves to the closet, sliding the door open and peering inside. The fact that his brother had even taken time to hang his clothes is astonishing. However, there’s a pile of shirts on the floor of the closet that is much more in character for the older man. The items hanging are probably things he doesn’t wear much and thus have been left untouched for who knows how long.</p>
<p>Still, Ian rummages through, knowing that nothing in here is going to fit him. With a sigh of defeat, he takes a step back, eyes glancing downward and falling upon a familiar hoodie. He pulls it from the top of the pile on the floor, lifting the fabric to his nose. It doesn’t smell bad, it just reeks of Barley.</p>
<p>Ian smiles absentmindedly, turning to set the large hoodie on the mattress and tugging off his soiled sweatshirt. He lays it neatly on the end of the bed, grabbing his brother’s Smote hoodie once more and pulling the hefty fabric over his head. It’s far too big, the hem cascading down just above his knees and the neck of the hoodie exposing his collar bones and just barely hanging onto his shoulders.</p>
<p>It’s still better than the cold, wet fabric of his own hoodie clinging to his skin. Besides, he only plans to wear this until his shirt dries. </p>
<p>Quietly, he recedes back to the kitchen with plans of polishing off that bag of cheese puffs. He’s just unraveling the bag when the knob of the front door jiggles and the stocky form of his older brother is entering from the outside.</p>
<p>“Man, it is colder than the harsh winds of Caileech out there,” he huffs, shaking off the brisk winter air and shutting the door. Ian raises a brow at him, a cheese puff between his fingers.</p>
<p>“I thought you said you’d be back around three?” He asks, popping the puff into his mouth. Barley hums, tugging off his coat and tossing it onto the coffee table in front of the futon.</p>
<p>“I felt bad leaving you all by your lonesome, so I figure I’d come see you on my break,” he explains loosely. Ian smiles at that, watching him carefully and reaching for what’s left of his orange juice. The older man is clad in what Ian assumes to be his work uniform. A light blue button up that brings out the grayish tone of Barley’s skin, the top buttons left unclasped and revealing what the young mage figures to be a white undershirt beneath and a name tag that sits above the pocket on his pectorals. There’s dark smudges across the larger elf’s jeans that Ian figures must have been acquired at the shop.</p>
<p>Ian also takes note of the bandage wrapped around his knuckles and grimaces slightly. </p>
<p>The older Lightfoot doesn’t take notice however, he merely walks towards the kitchen, steel toed boots clunking against the tile softly as he enters and tosses his phone onto the table haphazardly. The device clatters against the wooden surface before Barley turns back to the smaller elf, hands on his hips as he glances around thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Well, good luck finding anything for lunch,” Ian scoffs, cradling his mug in his palms as he stands to move further into the kitchen with the older man, “it’s like a ghost town for food here.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Barley agrees, “I don’t really cook so...” his words trail as his eyes scan over the younger elf in front of him, a soft glint of surprise evident behind his hazel orbs as he observes what his baby brother is wearing. </p>
<p>Ian’s cheeks flush pink and he looks down into his mug, flustered by the gaze of his older brother.</p>
<p>“I-I spilled orange juice on my shirt so I thought I’d borrow o-one of yours,” he stutters. The older man just nods, eyes raking over his lithe form that was draped in the dark fabric. Ian’s grip tightens on the stein in his hands, umber orbs darting around nervously.</p>
<p>Barley took a step forward, eyes hooded as he tugs lightly at the large hoodie encasing his brother with his bandaged hand, an amused smirk gracing his features. </p>
<p>“This absolutely swallows you,” he murmurs. </p>
<p>“Yeah, clearly,” Ian huffs, eyes gesturing over Barley’s large form, “you’re like, huge.” The older man shakes his head with a soft chuckle.</p>
<p>“No, you’re just tiny,” he laughs, bending down to catch Ian’s lips with a soft peck.</p>
<p>Ian hummed, pulling away and wrinkling his nose, “you smell like motor oil,” he said light heartedly, trying to quell his anxiety. Barley just gave him a smirk, taking the cup from his hand and setting it on the smooth surface of the bar. He pulled the smaller man in for a deeper kiss this time, arms wrapping around his frail waist and sliding his tongue between Ian’s lips. </p>
<p>“I’ve got like thirty minutes to kill,” Barley says huskily as he pulls away. Ian blushes, shifting slightly. </p>
<p>“O-Okay,” he breathes. The larger elf grips the fabric of the hoodie at Ian’s side with a hungry glaze to his eyes. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna bend you over the table,” he says softly, with a slight nod to his head. Ian feels his breath catch as the older Lightfoot wastes no time pulling him to the table and spinning him so that he’s resting his elbows on the flat surface. </p>
<p>“Jeez, Bar,” he huffs, “buy a guy dinner first.” It’s an attempt at quelling his nerves. He wasn’t expecting this again so soon, but decides that resisting is futile once Barley gets this way.</p>
<p>“I’ll buy you whatever you want when I get off work later,” the older man promises with a breathy catch to his voice. He knows he should be taking things at Ian’s pace, but there have been too many nights where he thought about Ian draped in one of his shirts and he can’t help the excitement of seeing that fantasy unfold before him.</p>
<p>Barley makes quick work of reaching around and fumbling with the buttons on Ian’s jeans under the fabric of the hoodie, tugging the denim down and taking the smaller man’s boxers with it. He groans at the sight of his little brother’s pert ass and he gives it a light smack with his hand. </p>
<p>Ian feels his throat tighten with anxiety. They did this last night, so he silently prayed he was still loose enough. It wasn’t likely that Barley had any lube on him. </p>
<p>Although his concerns are answered when Barley huffs, moving away for a moment. </p>
<p>“Just give me a second-“ he quickly leaves the room and Ian adjusts to lift the hoodie up so it’s not in the way. He holds the fabric at the edge of the table, gripping the hard surface tightly as he works on calming himself.</p>
<p>This position still makes him extremely uncomfortable, as if Barley is using him like an object rather than trying to focus on making it a pleasurable experience for both of them. However, the older Lightfoot had shown him last night that this could be good for both of them, so he felt a little silly for being so worried. He suspects that the lingering fear of things taking a bad turn will remain in the back of his head for quite sometime before he’s completely comfortable with the sexual aspects of their relationship.</p>
<p>The older Lightfoot returns, a bottle of lube in hand and he flicks the cap. He knocks Ian’s feet apart with his own foot as he generously coats two fingers and sets the bottle down. Ian feels the pressure of the digits at his entrance and he cants his hips so that they slide in without a catch.</p>
<p>The younger man hums, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut.</p>
<p>“You gotta relax, sweetheart,” the larger elf’s words are soft this time as he tries to soothe the younger man beneath him. Ian takes a breath, willing his muscles to loosen and his eyes shifting to trace the patterns of the wooden surface he’s clutching.</p>
<p>There’s a hand that weaves into his hair as the older man scissors his fingers, pushing them in so that the pads of his thick digits grace against Ian’s prostate. The soft pads of the older elf’s fingers massage the gland gently, drawing a breath from the younger Lightfoot. </p>
<p>“Oh, fuck-“ Ian chokes involuntarily, gripping the table tighter. </p>
<p>“You like that, baby?” Barley asks, voice rumbling deep from his chest. Ian just moans in response and feels his brother’s fingers withdrawal. Barley unbuttons his jeans and shoves them down before he grabs the lube once more, coating his cock this time. </p>
<p>Discarding the bottle, the older man places a palm on each cheek to spread Ian open, positioning his cock onto the smaller elf’s hole. He can feel Ian brace himself and he presses in, watching the tip of his cock disappear inside of his baby brother. </p>
<p>Ian’s face contorts with discomfort, the initial stretch is always the worst part but he tries to focus on breathing. Barley pulls out a little, moving deeper with each slow thrust before he fully bottoms out. </p>
<p>“Oh- That’s a good boy,” Barley groans, eyes glued to where they’re connected. Ian swallows thickly, adjusting his feet to spread his legs a little more. </p>
<p>Large hands move to grab his waist that’s still partially buried beneath soft fabric. Barleys thrusts begin at an easy pace. Skin tapping against skin as he fully sheaths himself. </p>
<p>The larger elf moves one hand to grip Ian’s shoulder, thrusting harder. Small mewls leave the younger Lightfoot’s throat as the tip of Barley’s cock knocks into his prostate. </p>
<p>“Please-“ Ian moans, fire building in the pit of his stomach. All worry washing away as euphoria envelopes his body.</p>
<p>“Please what?” Barley asks hotly, “daddy can’t help you if you don’t use your words.” Ian feels a blush bloom across his skin and he moves to speak when the chime of Barley’s phone goes off, the vibrations of an incoming call reverberating through the table. </p>
<p>The older man glances at the screen to see if it’s someone important and he groans, halting his movements and reaching for the device. </p>
<p>“Fucking Molt,” he grumbles to himself before he taps the screen and holds his phone to his ear, “Yeah?”</p>
<p>He’s still seated inside of Ian, and the younger man tries to listen to what’s being said on the other line. It’s hard to make out, but he tries to sit patiently. </p>
<p>“Kay, well, I’m on break. Can’t somebody else handle it?” Barley says, annoyance laced in his tone. Ian hears more chatter on the other line, the hand at his hip tightening. Ian huffs, perking up when an idea crosses his mind. </p>
<p>Cautiously, he rocks his hips just slightly against the stocky elf. He feels the older man’s hand squeeze him and hears a breath leave his brother’s nose. It gives him the confidence he needs and he cants his hips, arching his back tightly. </p>
<p>Slowly, he moves, sliding away from Barley’s cock and pushing himself back down. He turns to look back at the older man, umber eyes hooded as he fucks himself onto his brother’s thick cock. </p>
<p>Their eyes connect and a groan slips past Barley’s lips. Immediately he blushes deeply, stammering out an explanation, “s-sorry I just- remind me why he was hired in the first place?” Ian keeps a slow pace, turning to drop his head and moaning softly as he pushes himself all the way back, taking in every inch of Barley’s length. He allows pleasure to flow through his body as his prostate is stimulated. Shamelessly throwing his hips back faster as the larger elf behind his stifles the moans that threaten to escape from his throat.</p>
<p>“A-Alright, well give me, like, ten minutes,” Barley chokes. He pulls the device away from his ear and hangs up, tossing his phone roughly back onto the table and landing a hard slap against Ian’s ass.</p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot jerks, more in surprise than pain. The slap stings and it hits hard enough to leave a large hand print against him.</p>
<p>“Ow-“ he groans, turning back to glare at the older man.</p>
<p>“That was my supervisor, you horny little tease,” Barley huffs, hands gripping Ian’s hips tightly. Ian rolls his eyes, turning to face away from his brother.</p>
<p>“You could have pulled out,” he pouts under his breath. Barley just moans, pressing himself all the way into the younger Lightfoot’s ass, snaking a hand through his hair once more. He pulls his brother up by his fluffy curls, lips ghosting against the shell of his pointy ear.</p>
<p>“Well, daddy has to go take care of business,” Barley murmurs, still plugged deeply into the smaller man, “but don’t think that little stunt you just pulled is gonna go unpunished.” The deep gravel of Barley’s voice sends a chill down Ian’s spine and the older man pulls his chin around with his free hand and dips down for a sloppy kiss. Their tongues entwining as he continues to fuck into the younger elf. </p>
<p>He breaks away, sliding his cock out and huffing. Ian shudders at the empty feeling.</p>
<p>“We’ll finish this when I get back,” he promises. Ian turns to him, leaning back on the table. He reaches down to pull his own jeans back up as Barley shoves himself back in his pants uncomfortably. </p>
<p>He dips down once more to kiss Ian. The younger man isn’t sure what comes over him, but he grabs at his brother’s shirt and slides their lips together. </p>
<p>“Okay, but dinner,” Ian says, eyes hooded as he watches Barley pull away. His hazel eyes are blown wide with lust and he has to tear himself away from his younger brother.</p>
<p>“Yes dinner, whatever you want,” he says as he grabs his phone and reading from the kitchen. He plucks his coat off the coffee table, turning back once more with a smirk on his face, “but you better be in nothing but that sweatshirt when I get back.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m such a sucker for table sex like, absolute chef’s kiss</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Me staring at the fact that this has been it over 3500 times: *cries in doesn’t know how to handle all this love and attention*</p>
<p>Anywho, we are approaching just nine chapters left after this one and I’m e x c i t e d but also nErVoUs</p>
<p>That being said, please enjoy this chapter~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the weekend had gone by in a similar fashion to Saturday afternoon. Barley had come home from work, covered in oil and grumbling to himself about how some idiot had seized their engine. He had pulled Iandore into the shower with him so they could finish what they started in the kitchen. Ian had obliged, allowing Barley to fuck him against the tiled walls of the shower as the water washed away the grime that had collected from the day.</p>
<p>True to his word, the older Lightfoot had bought Ian dinner afterword. Saturday night was spent watching movies, enjoying the greasy delight of Pizza Realm, and Ian getting his first taste of dick just before bed time.</p>
<p>It was a nerve wracking experience, the young mage couldn’t fathom how he’d be able to fit such girth into his mouth. Barley had said something along the lines of, “just don’t try and take it all at once,” and that was enough to make the small elf a nervous wreck. Still, he’d managed to bob his head halfway down his brother’s intimidating length whilst jerking the rest of his shaft.</p>
<p>It wasn’t at all how Ian had expected his weekend to go, still, he wasn’t surprised. He had wanted to talk more about Wilden and the things that had transpired, but any time he’d so much as hint at the topic Barley would shut him down.</p>
<p>“I told you I didn’t wanna talk about that,” the older man would huff. Ian would just return a disappointed pout and they’d move on. However, he had so many questions that were left unanswered. He knew he shouldn’t push it, but it was nagging at him constantly.</p>
<p>Was it just Barley that Wilden had an infatuation with? Was their father just a full blown pedophile who exercised his urges onto Barley? Was there any good in the man that Ian had looked up to his whole life?</p>
<p>Needless to say, it was frustrating. And yet, Sunday rolled around much quicker than Ian had wanted it to and he had to return to New Mushroomton, much to his demise. Barley had driven him the entire way this time, and the young mage had looked at him with a cautious gaze as they pulled up to mushroom house.</p>
<p>“Can I just ask you one thing about dad?” He had said carefully. Barley let out a deep sigh, eyes lowering and his brows drawing together.</p>
<p>“What?” He asked in defeat. Ian sat for a moment, eyes darting around before meeting Barley’s hazel gaze.</p>
<p>“Those three memories you told me about? Were they real? Or was that just something you told me so I could paint a good picture of him?” The younger Lightfoot questioned. His umber eyes holding strong to Barley’s sienna orbs. The older man’s face had relaxed, his grip adjusting on the steering wheel.</p>
<p>“No, that was real,” he says softly. There was a forlorn sadness that had danced across his face as he looked down in thought, “those are the memories I hold onto at least,” he had mumbled almost incoherently. Ian had given him a sympathetic look, to which Barley just cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He had said as he reached to give Ian’s thigh a soft squeeze. And with that, the Lightfoot brothers bid each other a due, and Ian returned to the house with a soft grimace.</p>
<p>A little over a month had passed since then. They kept in contact, talking every night as per usual. School was still it’s own personal hell hole as far as Ian was concerned. Adrian and his posse of mindless drones had then entire school convinced that Ian wasn’t someone to be approached, so people avoided him. But, Ian had Barley to text throughout the the day, so he wasn’t entirely bothered.</p>
<p>It was extremely lonely though, spending his lunch period by himself, dreading group activities because he was the last picked for everything. It was rough, and the only solace he could find was in his brother.</p>
<p>Countless times he’d text the older elf from beneath his desk just out of view of his teacher.</p>
<p>*Ian: I don’t know how you ever made it through high school, it sucks</p>
<p>*Barley: Yeah but u only have until may, hang in there lil bro </p>
<p>Ian had gone over to Barley’s one other time in between the days that had gone by. They had spent that time together similarly to the first. Barley couldn’t get enough of the younger Lightfoot in those initial moments of them being in his apartment, greedily showering him in kisses and tugging him towards the bedroom. Ian would just follow along obediently, knowing his brother needed that intimacy, that physical reassurance that he was there.</p>
<p>It was nice, to be at a place in their relationship where yes, Barley was overly touchy and extremely clingy, but they were brothers again. Ian felt as if he could actually breathe around the older man and not have to worry about the inevitable pain that followed with his presence.</p>
<p>For once in his life, he had a stable friend that he could talk to about anything and not have the constant fear of abandonment in the back of his mind.</p>
<p>Springtide was approaching, and although he was skeptical at first, Ian was looking forward to spending it with his older brother. He couldn’t help but think about it as he sat in his medieval history class, eyes glazing over as he daydreamed mindlessly of the activities Barley had planned for the week of their vastly approaching holiday.</p>
<p>“I’ll be assigning partners for your upcoming project: The Progression of Magic,” his teacher had said. It was a sentence that had captured Ian’s attention. Not only at the mention of magic, but the assignment of partners. He wasn’t ignorant, he saw the way people would groan in being assigned to work with him. It made his chest tighten, anxiety creeping up his spine as his teacher read off the pairings from the list in front of her. He waits dreadfully for his name to be called, along with an unwilling peer he’ll have to substitute for as far as work goes.</p>
<p>Because no one ever wants to meet him halfway when it comes to group projects.</p>
<p>It didn’t help either that Sadalia was in his history class, sitting on the other side of the room as a looming reminder of Winterfest.</p>
<p>They hadn’t spoken since she’d dropped off his jacket. They hardly even exchanged glances when passing by each other in the hallways. Ian feels that it’s best that way, knowing how badly he’d hurt his friends ate at him enough as it were.</p>
<p>Which is why it’s just his luck when his teacher partners him with the other elf.</p>
<p>“Iandore, Sadalia, you’ll be working together,” the middle aged goblin says, continuing down her list as Ian’s stomach drops to the floor. He grips his pen tightly, refusing to look up as the darker skinned elf gathers her things and makes her way over.</p>
<p>He instead busies himself with scribbling down their names at the top of the worksheet they were given as a layout to their project.</p>
<p>Sadalia takes a seat in the chair next to him, the bustling noise and soft chatter amongst the classroom as students pair up prevents an awkward silence. However, the tension is thick as Sadalia takes out her notebook and opens it to a blank page.</p>
<p>Ian sighs, thumb rubbing across the plastic of his pen, trying to will away the anxiety creeping up his spine.</p>
<p>“So, this should be a pretty easy assignment,” Sadalia says softly, trying to keep quiet so not to disrupt their teacher, who’s explaining the worksheet and discussing due dates. Ian perks up at this, eyes shifting to glance over at the other elf. She’s doodling small circular patterns in the corner of her notebook, eyes not leaving the page. He hesitates, nodding slightly and turning his attention back to his pen.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he whispers, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. What he would give in that moment to just dissipate into nothing.</p>
<p>“You know,” the shorter elf begins, still keeping her voice at a whisper, “I think I may have been a little hard on you over Winterfest.” This grabs the young Lightfoot’s attention. He turns his head to look at her once more, the elven girl still keeping her attention on her doodling. </p>
<p>He lets a breath out through his nose, eyes shifting to the floor. If he were being completely honest, he understood her actions that day. There’s no way she could ever understand his situation, no way he could ever even attempt to explain it, thus, he had given no excuse. He could see how frustrating that must have been from her point of view.</p>
<p>Finally tearing her eyes from her notebook, Sadalia’s deep brown orbs moved to Ian’s, “if you’re not doing anything over lunch, maybe we could talk about?” She asks cautiously. Iandore nods hesitantly, unsure as to whether he should be nervous or relieved. Still, he wasn’t going to turn down the chance to bury the hard feelings. </p>
<p>“I’d like that,” he offers with a weak smile. Sadalia returns the gesture, a small grin forming upon her lips, and she scoots her desk a little closer so that they can begin discussing their project. </p>
<p>The rest of the class period went by much smoother. It was easier discussing the assignment with Sadalia than he’d anticipated. They had managed to keep personal things out of the classroom, focusing instead on the task at hand.</p>
<p>Their presentation of the Progression of Magic wasn’t due until after Springtide, giving them plenty of time to plan ahead for things they’d like to incorporate into the project. They mostly just brained stormed, scribbling out plans on a sheet of paper for the majority of the class period.</p>
<p>Once lunch had rolled around, Sadalia had met him by his locker. He hastily shoved his books inside and grabbed his jacket off the hook to tug the thick fabric on as they walked. The two made their way out of the building, heading towards the student parking lot where the purple toned elf was parked. His chest felt tighter the closer they had gotten to the lot. He had been so on edge that the vibration of his phone had nearly startled him.</p>
<p>His eyes shot down to his pocket, and he quickly pulled out the thin device to check his notifications. Sure enough, there was a message from the older Lightfoot, checking in on him as he normally does.</p>
<p>*Barley: u at lunch yet? i got a few minutes if u wanna talk</p>
<p>Ian breathed, he glanced up to see Sadalia giving him a quizzical look. Ian drew his brows together, typing a fast reply.</p>
<p>*Ian: Actually, I’ve got lunch plans. I’ll talk to you when I get home</p>
<p>“S-Sorry, it’s my brother,” he mutters, locking his phone and sliding it back into the front pocket of his jacket. Sadalia merely hummed, swinging her keys on her lanyard as her eyes watched the ground below. As they reached the parking lot she glanced over at him with a soft smile, still swinging her keys lightly.</p>
<p>“Burger Shire?” She asked. He nodded, adjusting the collar of his jacket as he approached the passenger side of her small silver car.</p>
<p>“Sounds good,” he breathed. Sadalia hit the unlock button on her key pad, a soft beep emitting from the vehicle and the headlights flashing to indicate it was open before each elf slid in. Ian tugged his seat belt on after closing the door, sitting quietly as Sadalia did then same. She sat hesitantly for a second, eyes watching from the windshield before turning to him with a questioning look.</p>
<p>“Where you even bothered after I dropped off your jacket?” She asked sincerely. Iandore let out a soft breath, dropping their gaze and staring into the fabric of his jeans.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I felt like a piece of shit,” he said honestly. Sadalia moved forward, sliding her key into the ignition and eyes darting over the dash in thought.</p>
<p>“You never texted me or anything, I just figured you didn’t care,” she says softly before turning the key. The hum of the engine filled the small space before fading into the background. The paler elf shifted, sitting up a little more in his seat and watching as Sadalia shifted into reverse and backed out of her parking spot to leave the school property.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me after that,” he mumbled.</p>
<p>“That wasn’t the case, Ian,” the elven girl said, eyes focused on the road, “we were just really upset about what happened and maybe I should have let you explain, but...” her words trailed off but he understood what she was trying to say. Still, she flicked on the heat, warming the small vehicle as she drove.</p>
<p>“When I heard about what happened with Rivera I realized I may have jumped the gun,” she admitted softly. Ian let out a heavy sigh, umber eyes moving to watch out his window. The events of that night had stained his high school career and he absolutely hated it.</p>
<p>“I don’t like to think about that,” Ian grumbles, keeping his gaze on the passing buildings of their town outside. His phones buzzes once more in his pocket, but he chooses not to answer it in fear of making Sadalia think he wasn’t interested in their conversation.</p>
<p>“Can I ask what really happened?” Sadalia pried, pushing down her turn signal before making a turn. Ian turned his head to look at her. She was probably one of the first to ask him his side since returning to school after Winterfest. He swallowed, glancing down to mess with the hem of his jacket.</p>
<p>“I-She kissed me and I just got uncomfortable,” he explained quietly, “I bolted after a few seconds and threw up somewhere in the yard.” That last part was softer as he recalled how hard he’d vomited. He could vaguely remember wanting his life to be over just to spare him the awful sensation of the alcohol forcing its way out of his stomach. </p>
<p>Softly he shuddered, wanting no more to do with hard liquor for the remainder of his life.</p>
<p>Sadalia chuckled though, pulling into the parking lot of Burger Shire.</p>
<p>“Yes, thank you for the vomiting all over my mother’s rose bushes,” she smirked, hands gliding over the leather of the wheel as it slid under her palm to reposition itself as forward. Ian felt a blush creep of his skin and he groaned, throwing his head back lightly against the seat in shame.</p>
<p>“I’m never attending another party again,” he muttered. Sadalia swung the car into a parking spot, halting the vehicle and pulling her key from the ignition. The two sat quietly for a moment, a soft cloud of tension returning with their silence.</p>
<p>“Sorry I encouraged you to go and talk to her,” she apologized, eyes falling downcast as if she were ashamed. The young Lightfoot merely shrugged, popping his seatbelt from it’s place.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, I’m sorry I just bolted without letting you guys know,” he said. Sadalia looked up and gave a soft smile, wrapping her lanyard around her hand absentmindedly.</p>
<p>“You know, in retrospect, Althea was always on your side,” the elven girl said thoughtfully, “she said you were a nervous wreck before arriving so, maybe inviting you to a party like that was just an overall bad idea.” This bit of information was surprising to Ian. A sense of comfort washed over him at the thought of the bubbly satyr backing him up. Still, he should have been more communicative with the gang. </p>
<p>“But, anyway, I’m starving,” Sadalia says, perking up and grabbing her door handle, “shall we?” Ian gives her a soft smile, grabbing his own handle to push his door open.</p>
<p>“We certainly shall,”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope this one transitioned well</p>
<p>You know me, describing events is like.. the devil </p>
<p>aNyWaY, here’s 37 </p>
<p>Enjoy~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This rest of the school day had gone by pretty well, Ian’s conversation with Sadalia had definitely put him more at ease. Of course, there was a lot of ground to cover before their friendship would be rekindled, but this was a nice step in the right direction.</p>
<p>He had been pretty excited to let Barley know. That the remainder of high school wasn’t looking so bleak anymore, however, that’s always subject to change. And the texts he’d received from Barley earlier that day made him a little uneasy to talk to the older man about it.</p>
<p>His phone had gone off two more times since being in Sadalia’s car, once inside Burger Shire and once more when they had made it back onto school property. Normally, Ian wouldn’t hesitate to answer his big brother, but again, he didn’t want to be rude. So, instead, he waited until he and the other elf parted ways to find their own lockers before he pulled his phone from his pocket. The messages he’d read were a little unsettlingly to say the least.</p>
<p>*Barley: lunch plans? U got a hot date or something? ;)</p>
<p>*Barley: is she cute? Or he, i definitely dont discriminate</p>
<p>*Barley: wow the suspense is killing me here Iandore</p>
<p>It was evident the older man had just been teasing him in those first two messages, but he only ever uses Ian’s name like that when he’s extremely excited about something or just upset with him. With nerves bundling in his tummy, he merely silenced his cell and slid it onto the top shelf of his locker.</p>
<p>He’d explain at home.</p>
<p>Which is exactly what he’d done, albeit, he was a little on edge. The Lightfoot brother’s had discussed the importance of communication between them so Ian knew that his avoidance wouldn’t be taken lightly.</p>
<p>Perhaps that’s why he was so anxious to speak with Barley, because their relationship was still so fragile. He didn’t want anything to come between them and the progress they’ve made since their wintery holiday. So, begrudgingly, he had dialed the older elf’s number that evening once he was in the comfort and privacy of his own room.</p>
<p>‘Oh, so Mr. Popular has decided to spare me a moment of his time,’ the larger elf had greeted sarcastically, to which Ian had just rolled his eyes and proceeded to explain the situation.</p>
<p>Barley was a little difficult to convince that Sadalia had apologized, a little miffed even.</p>
<p>‘I just find it a little hard to believe that someone who was so willing to paint you the villain for what had happened at that party is suddenly apologizing. I mean, she was convinced that you were the one in the wrong,’ Barley had said. Ian had leaned back in his swivel chair, jaw set and his stomach coiling. ‘Right?’</p>
<p>“There’s more to it than that, I-I apologized too,” Ian had explained, his voice drawn with tension as his throat had tightened with emotion. The overall feelings of that night hadn’t left him, and he could feel them attempting to resurface.</p>
<p>‘I get that, and it’s great that you guys made up, but don’t confuse this as her trying to rebuild a bridge she was adamant on burning down,’ Barley explained. The older Lightfoot had released of quiet sigh, alleviating the strain in his voice before he continues, ‘I just don’t want you getting hurt, okay?’ </p>
<p>Ian had slumped, the truth behind his brother’s words seeping into his skin as he’d come to the realization of how naive he was to believe that his talk with Sadalia was anything more than her just clearing the air. He had to remind himself that they were just partners for their history presentation and nothing more. </p>
<p>Why would she want anything to do with his company outside of that anyway?</p>
<p>It had been enough for a small sniff to leave him, loud enough for the elf on the other line to hear.</p>
<p>‘Hey, those better not be tears I’m hearin’,’ Barley had warned playfully, ‘cuz us Lightfoot men don’t shed tears over mere peasants.’ It’d been enough to make the young mage laugh. Barley had managed to cheer him up throughout the rest of the phone call.</p>
<p>Still, there was a tinge of sadness that had lingered. He knew he could always find comfort in Barley, but coming to terms with the fact that he’d never have that with someone else, as far as school went, was a hard pill to swallow.</p>
<p>He was almost ready to accept it, especially when Sadalia hadn’t tried to reach out to him again for the rest of the week. It was the following Monday when she’d approached him again, meeting him at his locker as he gathered his books for class.</p>
<p>“Hey, so are there any days we can get together for our presentation?” She asked. He’d given her a quizzical look, hesitantly looking around the halls for any bystanders before pulling a textbook from the metal cubby. He didn’t want Sadalia to fall victim to the wrath of their peers on account of speaking to him, but the quiet murmurs and puzzled looks from lingering students didn’t seem to phase her at all.</p>
<p>“Um, sure, I don’t really have much going on,” he said, shifting uncomfortably as the pressure of a thousand eyes seemed to fall on his chest. His words were true, he’d long since left the chess club and he hadn’t bothered to join the math academic team on account of his social status throughout the school.</p>
<p>“Well, I’m free after school today until five,” she smiled. Ian nodded, shutting the door to his locker and adjusting his books in his arms. He’d anticipated for her to walk off, but she remained in her spot as if she were waiting for him to start moving. It was unsettling and he’d just wanted to melt into the floor.</p>
<p>Her eyes darted, a look of perplexity dancing across her face as she turned slightly, “are... you coming?” She asked. Ian blinked, but ducked to move nonetheless. </p>
<p>It was strange, and he wasn’t sure about how to feel necessarily. There was a glimmer of hope that he tried to mush down, remembering the words Barley had said. He’d chalked the encounter up to her just being enthusiastic about starting their project.</p>
<p>He messaged the older man quickly as he took his seat for his next class, explaining his after school plans. He hoped that the other elf wouldn’t be bothered, Ian knew his brother was still uneasy with the thought of him spending time with Sadalia, still, this was for school and he was sure to stress that.</p>
<p>But, Barley had been understanding last time they’d discussed it. He knew Ian had no power over who he was assigned to work with and had left it at that.</p>
<p>Once the final bell had rang, the young mage had met with Sadalia by the student lot. From there they made their way to a small mom and pop diner close to the side of town where Ian lived. This way he could walk home for when Sadalia was needed at her academic meeting.</p>
<p>They had ordered a few appetizers to snack on upon being seated, after which neither elf wasted any time fishing textbooks from their bags to begin discussing the steps of their presentation. </p>
<p>“So, I can do the majority of the speaking if you wanna handle the references,” Sadalia suggested, flipping through their history textbook casually. A waitress came by with a few small plates of steaming fried delights, setting them onto the table before Ian could respond. </p>
<p>“Uh, that sounds good,” he agreed, quietly thanking the waitress before the satyr walked off and turning his attention back to the elf across from him. He moves to speak once more before the prolonged buzz of his phone went off in his pocket. He gave Sadalia an apologetic look before checking the caller ID. </p>
<p>“Oh, it’s Barley, hang on-“ Ian says, turning to answer his phone. He holds the device to his ear, moving away from the table so he wasn’t completely in earshot of Sadalia. The purple toned elf just sits back in her seat, lips tight and arms crossed as she watches her partner recede from the table.</p>
<p>“Hey, I told you I was busy today,” Ian says, keeping his voice down. He moves to a far corner, away from other customers. There aren’t a lot of people in the restaurant, but he still wants to keep quiet. </p>
<p>‘What? With your little school project? Ian you’ve got like, weeks to get that finished.’ Barley says. Ian rolls his eyes, shifting his weight on his feet.</p>
<p>“Not everyone likes to wait until the last minute like you do,” the younger Lightfoot teases. Barley scoffs, mocking offense.</p>
<p>‘Iandore Lightfoot, are you insinuating that I, Barley Lightfoot, procrastinate?’ The older man says dramatically. Ian can’t help but chuckle softly at that, tugging on his shirt nervously. He knows he’s keeping Sadalia waiting but, he decides to humor the older man for a moment.</p>
<p>“Yes,” he laughs. He hears the larger elf hum on the other line and tightens his grip on the phone, “Barley, we can talk later, I gotta go work on stuff,” he mumbles, the creeping anxiety of the elf behind him waiting patiently eating away at him the longer he stands in that spot.</p>
<p>‘Are you with Sandra?’ The larger elf asks.</p>
<p>“Sadalia,” Ian corrects, drawing his brows together.</p>
<p>‘Whatever,’ Ian huffs at that, eyes lowering and crossing his one free arm over his chest. </p>
<p>“I told you, her and I are partners for this-“</p>
<p>“Well, it’s after school hours, Ian,” the older Lightfoot has a harshness to his tone that has Ian’s stomach flipping. He absentmindedly shrinks, even though Barley is over the phone. He can’t help the need to cower away at the tinge of anger behind his brother’s words.</p>
<p>However, it does irritate him a little and he has to bite his tongue just a tad when he speaks.</p>
<p>“Why are you being like this?” He asks, eyes searching the tiled floor of the diner as he waits for Barley to respond. He hears a huff of frustration come from the other man’s lips. </p>
<p>‘I dunno, I’m just... I don’t trust her. I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone,’ Barley grumbles. Ian’s expression immediately softens and his arm drops slightly to his side. He lets out a soft breath through his nose and ducks his head slightly to quiet his voice.</p>
<p>“No, Barley, it’s fine. This is just for school, I promise,” he says soothingly in an effort to calm his brother’s anxiety, “besides, the more I get done now, the more free time we’ll have during Springtide,” he murmurs. This seems to cool the other man, his tone softening and voice less strained.</p>
<p>‘Hm, well, maybe you should get back to it, huh?’ He says softly. Ian breathes, body relaxing and a smile dancing across his face. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ll keep in touch,” he promises.</p>
<p>‘Kay, well tell Sadie I said ‘hi,’’ the older Lightfoot quips before finding a more gentle tone, ‘love you the most,’ he murmurs. </p>
<p>”Love you too,” Ian muttered pulling his phone away, and hanging up. He stood for a moment, staring at the screen and rolling his eyes in annoyance. He can understand Barley being worried about him, but slandering Sadalia like that just wasn’t necessary. </p>
<p>Begrudgingly, he moves back to the booth where the other elf is sitting. She’s currently scrolling through her phone, the look of boredom gracing her features. She perks up as he approaches, setting her cell down and arching a brow at him.</p>
<p>“Everything okay?” She asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ian says with a halfhearted smile as he takes his seat, pushing his fries away from himself to focus more on the text books in front of him. Sadalia scoffs, sifting through her notes and shaking her head slightly.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how you handle that,” she mutters, dark brown eyes scanning over her papers. Ian lifts his head, giving her a quizzical look.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” He asks. Sadalia peers up at him, motions towards his phone with her hand.</p>
<p>“Him being so... clingy,” she explains loosely, “I get it, he’s like ‘big brother,’ but I couldn’t handle someone being in my business constantly.” Ian slumps, shifting his gaze to his phone and back at the elf across from him.</p>
<p>“He’s not clingy, he’s just... Barley,” he said shortly. He doesn’t intend for it to come across so vexed, but he can’t help but feel a little defensive over his brother. Sadalia just shrugs however, letting it roll like water off a duck’s back.</p>
<p>“Whatever you say, I’m just glad that I’m an only child,” she chuckles. Ian’s quiet for a moment, studying the purple elf carefully. He worries his lip thoughtfully before he shifts, eyes darting to the table.</p>
<p>“Hey, Sadalia?” He mutters. The elf in question perks up, doe eyes lit in curiosity as she gives a pondering hum. Ian grabs his pen, thumbing the plastic material intently as he summons the courage to force his words out.</p>
<p>“Why are you being so nice to me?” He says softly. The other elf furrows her brows in a puzzled fashion, setting her notes down and cocking her head slightly.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” She says, searching his face. The young Lightfoot releases a sigh, pulling his gaze from his pen to meet her eyes.</p>
<p>“I mean, it’s like, social suicide to be seen with me,” he says. Sadalia scoffs at this, sitting back once more with her hand still resting on the table as the other drops to her lap.</p>
<p>“It’s only social suicide if you choose to be apart of the heard of sheep that makes up the majority of our high school,” she quips. </p>
<p>“Yeah, well the majority rules...” he mumbles, dropping his gaze once more.</p>
<p>“Ian,” Sadalia waits for him to look back up before she continues, their eyes connecting once more, “you are the only person allowing yourself to suffer.” Those words spark emotions he hadn’t realized he’d repressed and he has to hold back a wave of tears. Glassy umber orbs drop to burn holes into the table so that the other elf doesn’t see the forlorn emptiness in his eyes, absentmindedly fiddling with his pen once more.</p>
<p>He sniffs once, shifting his attention to the textbooks strewn across the table. He clears his throat, changing the topic of their conversation before he has a complete meltdown in the middle of this quiet little diner. </p>
<p>“So, I can cover the slides regarding the origin of magic- my brother’s pretty enthusiastic over this kind of stuff so...” he mumbles, sifting through papers to begin brainstorming a few questions for the older Lightfoot. </p>
<p>Sadalia just tightens her lips, a look of sympathy dawning her face before she merely nods, turning her own attention to their previous task at hand.</p>
<p>“Okay,” she says softly. The rest of their work session goes by quietly, neither elf muttering a word about anything aside from their project.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sadalia is no sheep</p>
<p>She’s a wolf. And an alpha at that</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alsssoooo be ready for Springtide :))))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tuile is elf for spring, just so there’s no confusion</p>
<p>Also SPRINGTIDE IS UPON US</p>
<p>I’m pretty pumped and I hope you enjoy this next chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The metallic smell of freshly fallen perspiration filled the young Lightfoot’s nose as he breathed in a breath of air, smiling softly to himself.</p>
<p>Spring.</p>
<p>A time of rebirth and renewal, one might say. The warm rays of the sun melting away the harsh cold of winter and heating the earth to a comfortable, airy temperature. Clouds danced across the sky, having recently left behind a soft kiss of rain, a flush of green blooming with each new leaf that had sprouted from the once straggly branches of the trees. </p>
<p>It was truly a time to behold, and with the freshness of spring came the highly anticipated Springtide.</p>
<p>With school officially being let out for the week long break, Ian made his way down the concrete steps of his high school and made his trek through the school yard, small puddles splashing beneath the soles of his feet as he moved swiftly across rain soaked pavement to catch the bus back home.</p>
<p>It had been decided that he’d spend their elven holiday with his brother much farther in advance. Ian was excited to say the least. Time spent away from New Mushroomton was always appreciated. That, and he felt as if this time with his brother was much needed on account of the little fits of drama over his slowly reforming friendship with Sadalia.</p>
<p>The way Ian had looked at it, they were merely stuck together until after the events of Springtide when their project was due. Yes, she’d occasionally invite him for lunch during school, periodically she’d shoot him a casual text, but besides that their time together was doomed to end eventually.</p>
<p> The older man still grumbled about it sometimes, but for the most part it was a topic left untouched between the Lightfoot brothers.</p>
<p>It should be unsettling, regardless, Ian was just glad he wasn’t being pestered about it constantly anymore.</p>
<p>The chime from his phone broke him from his train of thought, the young mage peered down and slid the device from his front pocket. He was standing idly by the bus stop, patiently waiting to catch a ride home. He unlocked his phone, peering over the screen quickly.</p>
<p>*Barley: u sure u dont want me to come pick u up?</p>
<p>Ian typed a quick response, thumbs hitting against the screen softly before hitting the send button.</p>
<p>*Ian: That’s okay, mom wanted to see you anyway</p>
<p>Barley had been back in town since earlier that morning, much to Laurel’s excitement. She had wanted see him before heading off with the Manticore for the week. It was something about a cabin in the Brave Wilderness that Ian hadn’t paid much attention too, but the older woman had been pretty enthusiastic about it.</p>
<p>*Barley: ah yes, before she braves the wilderness so to speak ;;;))))</p>
<p>Ian nearly choked at that, staring at his phone in anguish as the bus rolled up. He replied hurriedly before climbing up the steps of his transport, taking a seat in one of the front rows before sending the text.</p>
<p>*Ian: I’m begging you to just stop right there</p>
<p>He got a handful of laughing emojis in return, to which he didn’t respond. Instead, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and leaned back into his seat quietly. The bus ride home was a short one, dropping him off just down the block from his house. Eagerly, he hopped off the steps, </p>
<p>He’s already anticipating the enthusiastic greeting from their family pet as he enters the door, bracing himself for the rambunctious dragon that chirps happily upon his arrival. He bats her away with a laugh, peering towards the hallway where he hears the other Lightfoot’s talking in the kitchen. He sets his bag down by the stairs, Blazey curiously coils around the pack, tonguing the thick fabric of it before losing interest completely and following the lithe elf out of the room.</p>
<p>Barley’s leaned against the counter, arms crossed and a smile on his face as he listens to their mother. Due to the warmth of spring, he’s clad in his usual cargo shorts, graphic black tee and vest. </p>
<p>Laurel perks, halting her actions upon seeing her youngest enter the room.</p>
<p>“Oh, hey sweetie,” she says has she gathers Blazey’s food dish. The tiny dragon had a week long stay with a sitter ahead of her due to the absence of the Lightfoot family. “You all excited to be let out of school for the week?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, definitely,” Ian chirps, moving to pull out a bar stool from beneath the counter and taking a seat.</p>
<p>“Well, I hope you two have a good time,” Laurel says, pouring dry kibble into a tuppleware bowl and sealing the lid shut, “it’s sounds like your brother has quite the week planned out.” The older Lightfoot brother perks at this, eyes lighting up in excitement.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s gonna be great,” Barley smiles, “Stonemead has this really cool music festival they hold at city hall and then there’s the meteor shower that’s supposed to pass by,” the larger elf enthuses. Ian smiled softly, genuinely excited to see what his brother had in store. He shifts to throw his leg over the other, casually listening to the other man go on.</p>
<p>Laurel hums, an amused smirk gracing her features, “just be sure to stay out of trouble,” she teases. Barley scoffs, eyes rolling playfully.</p>
<p>“Please, mom, it’s me you’re talkin’ to,” he jokes as he motions towards himself with his hands. The older woman crosses her arms over her chest, light laughter emitting from her lips. </p>
<p>“Yes, which is why I worry,” she chides. Ian chuckles at that, happily observing their banter from his seat. Laurel relaxes her hands, moving to slide Blazey’s dish and kibble into a small bag that she zips closed once she’s placed the items inside.</p>
<p>Barley sets his hands on his hips, turning to his younger brother with a small smirk, “Well, we should probably get goin.” Hazel eyes watch the younger man fondly as Ian blinks, nodding in agreement before setting his feet on the linoleum and standing.</p>
<p>Laurel sighs, moving over to her two sons.</p>
<p>“Alright, I gotta go take Blazey to the sitter’s anyway,” she breathes, glancing at the tiny dragon, who has busied herself with a stuffed toy by Ian’s feet, before peering up at her oldest with a soft smile, “thank you for spending some time with me, my busy adult man,” Laurel coos, reaching up to pinch at her eldest’s cheeks. Barley shrugs off her affections playfully, turning once more to his younger sibling with a laugh.</p>
<p>“Are you ready?” He asks. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, let me go grab my stuff,” the young mage says, hands sliding into his back pockets thoughtfully before he turns to exit the room.  He makes quick work of bounding up the stairs, pushing past the door to his room and glancing over his surroundings. He had packed a few days in advance, setting his small duffle bag on the red cushion of his window seat. </p>
<p>Eagerly, he snatched it up, making sure to take one last pondering gaze across his room in thought. Once he was certain he hand’t missed anything, he shut off the lights and exited the room, closing his door softly behind him.</p>
<p>Barley was already waiting by the front door, happily scratching the scales behind Blazey’s frills by the nape of her neck. The tiny reptile purrs happily, kicking on of her back feet as the larger elf scratches a sensitive spot on her skin.</p>
<p>“You behave yourself, you little cretin,” he cooed before he stood, watching as Ian descended from the staircase.</p>
<p>Laurel moves to meet them by the door, smiling fondly at her sons as she reaches to hold their little dragon back in an effort to prevent her from bolting out the door.</p>
<p>“You boys be careful, alright? And don’t forget to let me know you made it safely,” she warns, arching a brow to prove her seriousness. Barley is already turning the knob to the door, pulling in open and stepping aside to allow his little brother to exit first.</p>
<p>“We will,” Ian says from behind as he walks out the front door. The elven brothers bid their mother a a due, quickly approaching Guinevere the Second. Ian tosses his bag in the back carelessly, sliding into the passenger seat and tugging at his seatbelt.</p>
<p>“Well, Sir Iandore,” the older man begins gallantly as he shuts the drivers side door, “the time of Tuile is upon us and with it, are adventures to behold.” He starts the van, flicking the switch to his stereo. Music flows through the speakers and Ian rolls his eyes with a small shake to his head.</p>
<p>“Not sure how much adventure is to be had, we’re just going to your place,” the younger Lightfoot ponders, watching outside the window as Barley pulls away from the quaint mushroom house.</p>
<p>“Oh, trust me, there plenty of adventure to be had,” Barley smirks, turning the radio down just a touch, “I’ve got this really cool place in mind where we can watch the vernal meteor shower and-“ he bumps the steering wheel with the heal of his palm enthusiastically, “it’s a college town so there’s gonna be lots of celebration happening.” Ian turned his head watching Barley as he spoke, umber eyes moving to the dash as he hummed thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess that doesn’t sound too bad,” the smaller elf mused. His phone chimes softly in his pocket, capturing his attention with it’s intrusive ping. Sliding the device from his jeans, he gazes at the screen, reading over the notification banner.</p>
<p>*Sadalia: Don’t forget to forward those reference slides to me!</p>
<p>Ian tightens his lips into a small smile as he types a reply. </p>
<p>“Who ya textin’?” Barley asks, a lighthearted jive to his voice. Still, Ian hesitates, locking the device in his hands before setting it in his lap.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s no one,” he breathes, watching as Barley merges onto the expressway. Barley draws his brows together, he doesn’t want to pester Ian about it, but his curiosity is peaked.</p>
<p>The thing is, he knows who his little brother is texting. What he doesn’t understand is why Iandore wouldn’t just tell him that. He decides to be cool about it however, glancing once more at the smaller elf with a soft smile.</p>
<p>“How’s your project comin’ along?” The older man asks. Ian shrugs, looking at his phone once more.</p>
<p>“It’s in the midst of being wrapped up,” Ian explains, perking slightly and setting his phone down once again. He shifts to pull his small notepad from his back pocket, sliding his pen out of the spiral spine and flipping to a blank page, “I’d actually like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind,” he says softly. </p>
<p>A sense of warmth comes over Barley and he smiles at the younger man fondly.</p>
<p>“You mean for your history project?” He chirps. Ian peers up at him with a nod, scribbling a few words at the top of his page.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I figured you’d know a lot about the topic,” the small mage says enthusiastically, “and I can send them to Sadalia and see if she wants to add them in.” Barley knits his brows together once more, one hand moving from the steering wheel to rest atop his thigh.</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t she wanna add them in?” He asks. Ian looks up at this, doe eyes watching the older man carefully.</p>
<p>“Oh, she just doesn’t think having an anonymous source is totally necessary,” Ian explains loosely, tapping his pen against the page softly. </p>
<p>“Hmm,” Barley hums, eyes sternly moving to watch the road, “she’s a bit of a dictator isn’t she?” He grumbles. Ian shakes his head, taken aback by that statement. </p>
<p>“I don’t... know where that came from? But, not really,” Ian says. His phone chimes once more and the willowy teen looks down to check his screen. Barley rolls his eyes, shrugging his broad shoulders.</p>
<p>“I mean, I can answer your questions but if she’s just gonna scrap it then why bother?” The older man fumes mildly. Ian scoffs in annoyance, peeling his attention from his phone. He takes a breath, calming himself before he speaks.</p>
<p>“Look, I understand that you don’t like her-“</p>
<p>“I don’t understand why you do,” Barley interrupts, sienna orbs darting about the traffic ahead of them. </p>
<p>“Barley, her and I are partners. I’m not-“</p>
<p>“I know, I got it,” the larger elf interjects once more. Ian release a frustrated breath from his nostrils, shoving his pen back into it’s place in the spine of his note pad.</p>
<p>“You know what? Fine,” Ian tosses the notebook onto the dash, umber eyes lit with anger. He slumps back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and irately staring out the window, “I’m not going over this with you again,” he quips softly, more so to himself. </p>
<p>“Fine,” Barley huffs, moving to turn the radio up once more.</p>
<p>The rest of the ride goes by with out a word from either Lightfoot, the heavy music pumping through the speakers being the only thing to fill the void of their silence. Ian chews the inside of his lip, piqued at his brother’s attitude.</p>
<p>It was increasingly frustrating to see Barley become so irked over something so ridiculous. Although the topic had been avoided for quite some time, the younger elf felt as if any time it were breached he’d find himself in a constant loop of reassuring the older man.</p>
<p>It was exhausting and he didn’t know how else to quell his big brother over the apparent venom he had towards Sadalia.</p>
<p>A thought came to him though, as they pulled up to Barley’s apartment. This was similar to his first visit in which his older brother had been feeling some intense emotions. The thing that seemed to soothe him most was physical affection, a feat Ian had hardly begun to explore.</p>
<p>It was nerve wracking to think about, the anticipation sitting on his chest as Barley parked. But, he didn’t want to spend this time arguing with his brother. Knowing that Barley would stop at nothing to move mountains for him when the young mage was distressed made the lithe wizard realize that sometimes Barley needs that from him as well.</p>
<p>And this was no exception.</p>
<p>Ian worried his lip, sliding out of the van and grabbing his bag. He followed closely behind Barley, the older man still evidently fuming to himself. The stocky elf unlocked his door, throwing it open and turning to Ian to motion the smaller man inside. Ian didn’t hesitate, tossing his bag aside as he entered the living room and summoning his courage.</p>
<p>The young mage tugged at the buttons of his own shirt, undoing them one by one as the older man shut the door. He turned to Barley and nodded his head towards the futon, eyes darting to and fro between the elf and the couch.</p>
<p>“Sit,” he commands.  Barley gives him a puzzled look, drawing his brows together and watching the smaller man carefully.</p>
<p>“What?” He asked. Ian sighed, nervousness coiling in his stomach as he dropped his shirt and moved to push lightly at Barley’s chest to guide him back against the dark piece of furniture.</p>
<p>“I said, ‘sit,’” he repeats as his older brother plops down in astonishment. Hazel eyes wide and his mouth twitching as he tries to form words to speak. He’s rendered speechless however, watching as the younger Lightfoot shrugs off his flannel and slides to his knees. He scoots forward so that he’s between Barley’s thighs, releasing a soft breath through his nose as he works on unbuttoning the older elf’s pants.</p>
<p>“Ian-“</p>
<p>“Shut up,” the small wizard quips, licking his lips absentmindedly as he pulls at Barley’s fly.</p>
<p>“I- Should I at least kiss you first?” The older man ponders, moving his hands to help Ian push his shorts down. Iandore flashes him a warning look as he moves the fabric away from his brother, releasing his semi erect member exposed. Barley closes his mouth, hands falling to grip the cushion beneath him.</p>
<p>Ian takes a breath, his chest tightening with his looming anxieties. He’s only done this one other time, still there’s no backing out. He hesitantly reaches for Barley’s shaft, hearing his brother’s breath catch at the contact.</p>
<p>His skin is soft and it glides beneath Iandore’s hand as he slowly strokes, watching the thick member stiffen with his movements. He wets his tongue inside his mouth, leaning in slowly to run it against the under side of Barley’s cock.</p>
<p>The larger elf groans deeply, his body relaxing and his eyes watching intently as Ian’s tongue runs up the length of his dick. The pink muscle reaches the tip, sliding over the head and digging into the slit teasingly. He stays there for a moment, tasting the  bitter saltiness of precum before wrapping his lips around the head and giving an experimental suck.</p>
<p>“Oh, Ian-“ Barley breaths, moving a hand to curl his fingers into the soft, unruly hair at the top of his little brother’s head. Ian merely hums, closing his eyes and hollowing out his cheeks as he prepares to bob downward. It’s a lot to take in, however he manages to nod his head halfway down the shaft, still holding firmly onto the rest of his brother’s girth with his hand.</p>
<p>“Just-ha- remember to watch your teeth,” Barley moans, tightening his grip on Ian’s azure curls. Ian lets out a breath through his nose, trying to make more room in his mouth. </p>
<p>Eventually, he gets a rhythm going, bobbing his head and taking in more and more of his brother’s cock. The small grunts and groans that emit from the larger elf feed his confidence and he hums around Barley’s shaft, taking him deeper than he ever has before.</p>
<p>“Holy fuck, baby,” Barley chokes, leaning back to watch as Ian swallows him down. But, the younger man looks up, umber eyes smoldering as he pulls off, continuing to jerk the older man off with the wetness of his saliva that coats his brother’s cock.</p>
<p>“Am I doing good, daddy?” He breathes, lips swollen and pupils blown. Barley groans, releasing the younger Lightfoot’s hair and bending to lift under his arms. He pulls the smaller man into his lap, eyes sienna flames of lust and dips in for a sloppy kiss. His vast palm grabs a handful of Ian’s ass, the young mage grinding against his thigh with a soft mewl.</p>
<p>Barley pulls away with a heavy huff, squeezing the small cheek in his palm.</p>
<p>“Don’t say things like that unless you want me fuck you open right here on this couch,” he warns huskily. There’s a mischievous glint behind Ian’s foggy eyes, and he gives a sly smile.</p>
<p>“But, daddy, that’s what my mouth is for,” the younger man says as he toys with a button on the collar of Barley’s vest. Those words alone were almost enough to send the older Lightfoot over the edge and he pushed gently at the elf in his lap, guiding him back to the floor.</p>
<p>“Alright, fuck- back on your knees then,” he says in bewilderment. He watches as Ian retreats to his spot on the floor, sliding his lips back over his heavy girth with ease. Barley moans heavily, moving his hand to the back of Ian’s skull once more to guide his rhythm.</p>
<p>It doesn’t take much longer for the older man to feel the pressure coiling in his groin become too much, moaning deeply and shooting hot spurts of cum down his baby brother’s throat as his hips stutter against swollen pink lips.</p>
<p>Ian just takes it like a champ, swallowing every drop before pulling off and wiping at his mouth. He slowly crawls up Barley’s lap, pleased at the blissed out half lidded eyes that watch him as he settles against the older man.</p>
<p>Barley wraps his arms around the younger man’s frail waist, pressing a sweet kiss to his temple.</p>
<p>“Where did that come from?” Barley asks, voice deep and sated. Ian scoffs, pulling away to give the older man a stern look.</p>
<p>“Um, you, being a giant man baby,” he snips. Barley looks taken aback for a moment, but he settles against the backrest of the couch and shakes his head.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t being a ‘man baby,’” he says. Ian rolls his eyes, shifting so he’s straddling the older man.</p>
<p>“Please, anytime I talk about Sadalia you sit there and pout and gripe,” Ian says. It’s Barley’s turn to roll his eyes, arms loosening around Ian’s torso.</p>
<p>“She just seems a bit flakey to me- and you’re constantly texting her,” the older man grumbles. Ian lets out a sigh, moving his hands to fiddle with the patches on his brother’s thick denim vest.</p>
<p>“We were discussing our project- you know, the one that’s due the day I return from spring break?” The younger Lightfoot explains, eyes shooting up to catch Barley’s with a raised brow. Barley gives him a pout and Ian continues, “I know you don’t really trust her, I don’t really know how to feel either if I’m being honest, but there’s gonna be times where I have to talk to her, okay?” He studies his brother carefully, nervous for the reaction he might receive. But, Barley relaxes and slowly he nods his head. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I know... I guess I’ve been a little annoying about it, huh?” Barley mumbles. Ian lets out an exasperated sigh, dropping the vest from his hands. </p>
<p>“Yes, extremely,” he groans dramatically, shifting his gaze back to meet his brother’s, “I probably won’t even see her again after graduation.” Barley hums at this, adjusting once more to hold the smaller elf closer.</p>
<p>“This is very true,” the older Lightfoot murmurs, “alright, well, I’m sorry I’ve been a ‘man baby,’ about it. You’re just like, my entire world and I just want the best for you.” Ian smiles at this, moving forward to press a soft kiss against the corner of Barley’s lips.</p>
<p>“I get that,” he says softly, “but, she’s still my partner. Do you think you’ll be able to handle me discussing school work with her?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I can handle that,” Barley breathes, peppering a few kisses across Ian’s cheek before slipping lower to the crevice of his neck. There’s a lightheartedness to his voice as he speaks against the younger man’s flesh, “but if blow jobs are gonna be the outcome to my over protective nature...” he teases. Ian rolls his eyes, leaning in to the soft kisses Barley lays against his skin.</p>
<p>“Well nothing else seems to work,” Ian huffs, feeling a hand snake it’s way between his thighs. He moans softly as Barley cups him through his jeans, hands coming up to grip the larger elf’s shoulders. Barley nibbles against his collar bone, palming the younger man with enough pressure to bring out a soft moan.</p>
<p>“Hm, well, I’ll be more than happy to return the favor,” Barley murmurs hotly, sucking onto the flesh of Iandore’s neck. The younger Lightfoot closes his eyes, relaxing his body against his brother’s ministrations with a breathy sigh.</p>
<p>“Please,”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, you read that correctly</p>
<p>I didn’t cock block you for a third time with the blow job scene</p>
<p>You’re welcome (cough cough you know who you are cough)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, yes, I am back from the dead</p>
<p>And I’m so ready to crank out these final chapters. I just hope this wraps up in way that won’t have people trying to burn me at the stake?? </p>
<p>Regardless, I hope this chapter makes up for the tiny pause. It is a bit long, but like just hear me out, okay? I’ve only got like seven more of these</p>
<p>But, as always, please enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the evening had gone by much smoother than the initial ride over. The older Lightfoot had scooped up his little brother at the breath of his plea, proceeding to move their activities to his bedroom.</p>
<p>They’d eagerly left their clothes scattered about the carpeted floor. The larger elf had unceremoniously tossed his younger sibling onto the mattress and climbed over him. He’d left bites and bruises down the expanse of the smaller elf’s chest and between the insides of his thighs, to which Ian merely gasped and squirmed, raking his nails over his brother’s back as he let himself submit to pleasure.</p>
<p>“Barley~” the younger Lightfoot had moaned, head tossed back and hands itching to find purchase on something. A few times he had to catch himself from running his fingers through his brother’s hair, remembering the consequences of last time.</p>
<p>A firm slap had landed on his ass, the young mage glancing down with a huff to see his brother peering up at him expectantly from between his lithe thighs. His strong arms hooked under the younger man’s knees as he knelt on the floor in front of the bed. A light blush had bloomed over Iandore’s cheeks as he realized his mistake.</p>
<p>“S-Sorry, daddy,” he breathed. Barley had hummed, a small smirk gracing his lips.</p>
<p>“Good boy,” he murmured before continuing his actions, the warm cavern of his mouth sliding over his little brother’s cock once more and swallowing it down. Soft mewls fell from Ian’s lips, hot coils in the pit of his stomach as he brought a hand up to weave into his own hair.</p>
<p>“Oh- Just fuck me,” the smaller elf gasped, he’d taken himself by surprise considering that, despite them being sexually active, he still never insinuated intercourse. That was still something Barley would normally propose.</p>
<p>The older man had pulled off, eyes smoldering yet wavering on uncertainty as he looked at his sibling in question.</p>
<p>“Is that what you want?” He asked. Ian had hesitated for a moment, propping himself up on his elbows and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. Part of him wanted to be ashamed for wanting it, but it was a voice that he was practiced at drowning out. </p>
<p>“Y-Yeah,” he breathed, his skin flushing another deep shade of pink as he sat in anticipation. With a glint of lust behind his face, Barley moved to climb back up to meet the smaller elf’s face. He slides their lips together hotly, allowing Ian to be the one who’s tongue ventures between their lips.</p>
<p>The older Lightfoot hums, pulling away to stare down at the young wizard with a hunger in his eyes. He slides a large palm over Ian’s tiny thigh, soft skin gliding beneath his palm as it venture’s to his brother’s frail waist.</p>
<p>“You wanna try and ride me?” Barley murmurs, his gaze raking over the other elf in awe. Ian wet his lips, shifting his weight to lean up on his hands. That question had only stoked the fire in his groin, an unsettling fact considering his previous reluctance. Regardless, he nodded his head, hooded doe eyes watching the other elf lewdly.</p>
<p>“Okay,” he says breathily. </p>
<p>Almost immediately the older Lightfoot had moved to join him on the bed, swinging him over his lap so that the younger elf was straddling his hips. The smaller man rolled his pelvis to meet his brother’s, earning a deep groan from the other elf.</p>
<p>Everything else had seemed to fade away as passion overtook them. Getting past the prep had been a bit of a breeze, albeit a little rushed due to Barley’s impatience. He’d still been attentive upon pressing into his younger brother, searching his face for any sign of discomfort. It was a feat they hadn’t yet mastered upon that first stretch. Regardless, Ian took him a lot easier than he had in the past, being that he was much more relaxed this time around.</p>
<p>It had been much more difficult than Iandore had expected, his rhythm faltering slightly as he tried to find an angle. However, Barley had been more than happy to show him how to roll his hips, guiding his thrusts in a way that had the young mage tossing his head back and dragging his blunt nails down the skin of the other man’s chest.</p>
<p>“I-I’m close-“ he choked, the press and pull of his big brother’s girth dragging against his insides and making his form tremble with pleasure. Barley groaned, leaning back against the headboard for a better view.</p>
<p>“Gods, a gust of wind would get you there, wouldn’t it?” He teased. Ian shot him a warning look, pressing a hand at his chest to steady himself. Barley didn’t help matters, his hand snaking between them to stroke Ian’s cock slowly. The small wizard moaned, leaning forward and burying his head into the crook of his brother’s neck. He canted his hips, hard thrusts punching the air from his lips before he grabbed ahold of Barley’s shoulder, teeth sinking into the flesh just above the older man’s collar bone. He had unintentionally latched onto the spot, too far gone with pleasure to realize the mark he was leaving as his release spilled onto his brother’s hand. He shakily rolled his hips through it, his insides pulsing around the club like hardness that filled him.</p>
<p>Barley groaned, the vibrations of it reverberating softly through his chest as he continuously stroked the younger Lightfoot’s member, pulling his orgasm from him with each glide of his palm. His other hand made it’s way to grab a handful of Iandore’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart to hold him open.</p>
<p>“You’re so good for me,” Barley mumbled, hazy eyes watching as the smaller elf released the skin between his teeth to lean up, panting away the high of his orgasm.  His reached back with one hand to meet Barley’s glancing behind himself to try and catch a glimpse before his attention was reverted to a hand coming up to his lips. </p>
<p>A mischievous glint loomed behind the older man’s features, “you gonna clean up your mess?” He asked huskily.</p>
<p>Without hesitation, Iandore reaches for the large palm in front of him, dragging his tongue over Barley’s thumb to lick away the salty substance that covered it. The larger elf hummed in satisfaction, softly rocking his hips into Ian’s sensitive entrance. To his surprise though, the young mage pulls off, backing up so he’s between the larger elf’s thighs and bends down to continue lapping at the cum he’d splattered over his brother’s torso. </p>
<p>He didn’t even have time to comprehend the wet lips that wrapped around his thick length as soon as they were finished, sucking him down swiftly.</p>
<p>“Such a filthy mouth, baby,” Barley groaned as he weaved his fingers into his brother’s mess of curls. The smaller man pulled off, a string of saliva connecting from his bottom lip to the tip of Barley’s cock.</p>
<p>“Am I a good boy?” Ian asked, his hips wiggling behind him slightly and pupils blown as he watched his brother shamelessly. The older Lightfoot slid his hand from the young wizard’s hair to cup his chin, running his thumb over his kiss swollen bottom lip. </p>
<p>The fact that Ian was so eager to be praised during sex was easily one of the most erotic things Barley could think of.</p>
<p>“You’re the best, sweetheart, you really are,” the larger elf breathed, his voice deep and gruff with desire. The smaller elf happily dipped his head back down, engulfing his brother’s length once more. A soft hum left his throat as Barley’s hand receded back into his hair, the vibrations of it stimulating the cock in his mouth further. The older Lightfoot groaned, brows knitting as he watched the other man suck him off.</p>
<p>There was a chime somewhere in the room amidst their disregarded clothes that Barley recognized to be his ringtone for text notifications. It caught Ian’s attention as well, but despite knowing certain things to still be scary for the smaller man, Barley held him in place. His hips moving against plump lips as umber eyes peered up at him with caution. </p>
<p>“Just ignore it- daddy’s almost there,” he groaned. With a few more thrusts and the enthusiastic sucking of Ian’s mouth, the older Lightfoot found release, spilling down his little brother’s throat once more.</p>
<p>There had been a lengthy period of time between Barley pulling Ian back up to catch his lips in a passionate kiss, holding him close as the fog of their coitus lifted from their minds and remembering that someone had tried to get a hold of him.</p>
<p>Still, he couldn’t find it in him to move. Especially when they’d both just settled, wrapped closely together in the quiet of the room. Still, his curiosity had gotten the better of him.</p>
<p>“How much do you love me?” He pouted. Iandore shot him an unamused glare, tugging his blankets closer.</p>
<p>“Seriously? I probably can’t even walk straight right now,” he grumbled. Barley gave him a smirk, shifting to prop his head up on his elbow.</p>
<p>“Oh, I know,” he said smugly. Ian rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically before he threw the covers off of himself, purposely tossing them over his brother’s face. Barley chuckled, pulling the fabric off and watching as his little brother left the bed. True to his assumption, the younger Lightfoot’s legs wobbled slightly, still feeling as if they were made of jelly. Reluctantly, he skimmed the floor with his eyes for his brother’s vest.</p>
<p>Upon finding it, Ian bent down to retrieve it.</p>
<p>“Hm, nice,” Barley murmured. The smaller man paused, turning his head to glance back at the older elf with a look of sheer annoyance as a blush crept over his face and ears. He straightened, self consciously turning so that the denim fabric was blocking his older brother’s view of his naked form and fished the pockets for Barley’s phone, pulling the device from the fabric and curiously reading the contact ID.</p>
<p>“Some guy named ‘Cedar,’ messaged you?” Ian said quizzically as he held the device out for his brother the grab. Barley perked up, reaching for his phone with a knowing look.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, he’s a guy I work with,” he explained, “he’s probably drunk texting me,” the older man laughed as he was handed his cell, plopping back down onto the pillows and throwing an arm behind his head. Ian slid back under the covers, moving closer and snuggling against the stocky elf.</p>
<p>Barley hummed, reading over his message to himself. Ian gave him a skeptical look, trying to avoid peering at the screen out of respect for his brother’s privacy.</p>
<p>“Everything okay?” The younger Lightfoot asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s just wondering if I’m free tomorrow night,” Barley explained, turning to look down at the smaller elf, “some of the guys are meeting at The Peddler, but, I’ve got more important things on my mind than cheap mead and a game of pool.” Ian wrinkled his nose, with a soft chuckle.</p>
<p>“You play pool?” He teased. Barley shrugged, a lighthearted smile on his face.</p>
<p>“Sometimes, I’m not great at it,” the older man mused. Ian hummed, sitting for a moment in thought. He had to admit, he was curious about his brother’s life. Spending so much time away from him had left quite a few holes in their relationship, and catching up hadn’t necessarily been something they had focused on. They’d been far too busy working on their relationship in the present to dare broach the topic of the past.</p>
<p>“You know, if you wanna hang out with your buddies, maybe there’s something age friendly we could do?” Iandore pondered. Barley arched a brow in mild surprise, his hazel eyes searching his younger brother for a moment.</p>
<p>“I mean, you can go into The Peddler, they’ll just stamp your hand so the bartender knows not to serve you alcohol, but- I mean, we don’t have to,” Barley said. Ian moved, sitting up so that he was leaning his weight on his arm and looking down at his brother.</p>
<p>“No, I-I wanna meet them. Put some names to faces, ya know?” The younger man assured, bashfully looking down as uncertainty crept up his spine at his next thought, “besides, you could maybe show me off as... your boyfriend? Since no one really knows us here.” It was a statement that certainly had a smile spreading across the larger elf’s face, however his eyes fell downcast with a soft chuckle.</p>
<p>“I can’t actually, they kind of know you as my brother already,” Barley said softly, warm amber eyes glancing back up fondly and a smirk dancing across his face, “my boyfriend?” He mused quietly. Ian blushed, shifting to cross his arms and his eyes darting away.</p>
<p>“Y-You know, that way if you w-wanted to hold my hand or whatever- but you obviously shot yourself in the foot there, so,” the smaller man stuttered nervously. Barley chuckled, moving to grab the younger elf and pulling him back down so that they were chest to chest. Golden sienna orbs peered into deep doe eyes lovingly, the small mage sliding a leg over his brother’s waist to straddle him in an effort to be more comfortable. Blush still painted Iandore’s cheeks as his brother watched him</p>
<p>“You sure you wanna go then?” Barley asked, “cuz we don’t have to, they’re kinda rowdy.” It was probably the endorphins from the sex, or just the gentle smile on the older elf’s face, but Ian really wanted to do this for his big brother. To lay another piece of the puzzle down for a more clear picture of Barley Lightfoot.</p>
<p>So, he nodded, returning a kind smile. The older man placed a soft kiss against the tip of Ian’s nose, turning his attention to his phone once more.</p>
<p>“Alright, I’ll let him know,” Barley said happily, tapping away with one thumb as his other hand was placed on the small of Ian’s back. A mischievous smirk had made it’s way across the older man’s face as he glanced back at the elf laying over him.</p>
<p>“I think my supervisor’s gonna be there,” he said teasingly. Ian felt his cheeks grow hot, leaning up to a sitting position and staring down at his brother begrudgingly.</p>
<p>“You mean, the one on the phone?” He asked meekly. Barley nodded, tossing his phone to the side.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and you know what? You don’t get to be embarrassed about that, cuz I’m the one that had to make eye contact with him while I was still at half mast, so,” the older man insisted. Ian just flushed another shade of pink as he recalled his actions that day. The younger Lightfoot hummed, gluing his eyes to the pillow beside Barley to avoid eye contact.</p>
<p>“Y-Yeah, well, you’re the one that was so insistent on-on sex that day,” he stammered. Barley let out a small laugh, wrapping his arms around the smaller mage and pulling him back down tightly. He peppered kisses across Ian’s cheeks, stopping at the corner of his mouth.</p>
<p>“Well, hey, if you change your mind just let me know, okay? I know how you are with people,” the older Lightfoot murmured. Ian sighed, snuggling his head beneath his brother’s chin and tracing lazy circles against his chest. </p>
<p>“I wanna meet them,” he said quietly. </p>
<p>“Well, then meet them you shall,” Barley smiled, placing another sweet kiss atop his brother’s unruly curls. Ian shifted, nuzzling further against the older man’s bare skin, eyes tracing the pattern of his tattoo. There was a hand that remained in his hair, smoothing it down easily and another that stayed on his lower back. A thumb rubbing over his soft skin, putting him at ease as his eye lids became heavier.</p>
<p>However, there was a familiar heat emitting between them and something stiff poking against him. Ian let out an exaggerated sigh.</p>
<p>“Really?” He asked, not moving from his spot on his brother chest. A soft chuckle rumbled through the older elf’s rib cage.</p>
<p>“Sorry, thinking about the phone incident gets me a little hot,” Barley said, voice smooth and sultry. With a groan, Ian sat up, giving his brother an unamused glare. A look that Barley had returned with a sheepish smile.</p>
<p>“You’re like, insatiable, you know that?” The younger Lightfoot said flatly. </p>
<p>The other elf clicked his tongue, “I blame my rocky childhood and constant need for physical validation,” Barley considered with a soft nod, his hands moving to Iandore’s boney hips. Ian pulled his bottom lip between his teeth at that. Not very often did his brother open that door. He never had directly, in fact, not without Ian being the one to turn the knob so to speak. He hesitantly wondered if that was an invitation to peak inside.</p>
<p>He vaguely recalled his last attempt at getting his brother to open up, a faint rush of dread washing over him at the thought. Still, he didn’t want to pass up a chance to understand the older Lightfoot further. </p>
<p>Ian released a small breath through his nose, peering at the older man with caution, “yeah, well, do you wanna talk about it?” Hazel eyes softened at that, putting the smaller elf at ease. A thumb rubbed softly over Ian’s frail hip bone, tugging the tight skin back and forth over the protruding bump of his pelvis as the larger elf gazed at his younger sibling in thought.</p>
<p>Ian almost expects for the other elf to change the subject, but he’s taken by surprise when Barley speaks. His voice small in comparison to his usual boisterous baritone.</p>
<p>“I didn’t wanna find the Phoenix gem,” the older Lightfoot admits quietly. Iandore blinks once, drawing his brows together in perplexity. He assumes that upon giving no response, Barley took this as a means to explain further, so he continued, “I mean- I was excited about, you know, the whole quest to find it and I knew it meant a lot to you, but I wasn’t expecting to actually find one.” The stocky elf’s eyes fell downcast, as if he were ashamed to be speaking such things.</p>
<p>The young mage swallowed, “so, you were stalling on purpose?” Barley let out a deep sigh, shifting his gaze to where he continued to thumb at his little brother’s hip.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t stalling, I just- It didn’t seem real until after we got to Raven’s Point and then I realized I might actually have to see him again...” Ian felt a wave of guilt hit him like a freight train. He had been too caught up in the moment to realize that when his brother had nearly sacrificed his chance at goodbye it was because he didn’t want one.</p>
<p>At least he didn’t want to stare at the face of his abuser, and that was something Ian could deeply relate to.</p>
<p>It was a double edge sword, wanting nothing more than for the pain to stop while at the same time wanting to hold on with every last breath.</p>
<p>“I-I made you say goodbye,” Ian whispered, eyes misting over and his body slumping slightly as the guilt ate away at him. Barley’s gaze shifted back to his younger brother’s face, a deep breath exiting his body sullenly. His arms moved to wrap around Iandore’s frail body, pulling him close so that his head rested upon the older Lightfoot’s chest once more.</p>
<p>“Don’t ever apologize for that, I-I’m glad I got some closure,” the larger elf murmured, running his fingers through the hair on top of Ian’s head, brushing the soft curls down. The smaller elf swallowed his emotions, eyes darting aimlessly ahead.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but- I mean, I don’t wanna pry- but, wasn’t it hard talking to him?” The young wizard pondered. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t actually, I don’t think he expected me to remember anything,” Barley said truthfully. However, recalling that moment at the cliffs, there was a slight pause in his father’s demeanor in those first few seconds. Like his breath had caught and a glimpse of anticipation had washed over his face before he cracked that sideways grin as if the air was clear.</p>
<p>Barley hadn’t felt so small before, not like in those initial moments of seeing Wilden once more. Staring into his father’s mirroring set of hazel windows, peering into a soul just as damned as his own.</p>
<p>A thought that the larger elf doesn’t let linger for long.</p>
<p>Despite the roar of emotions he had felt during that time, a sense of calm had come over the eldest Lightfoot brother as his father had embraced him. Wilden’s hugs were always like magical fix-it-alls that Barley could just vaguely remember melting into when he’d be comforted over nightmares or sprained knees.</p>
<p>He couldn’t say that his last experience with his father hadn’t shaken him to his core. There was a sense of longing as he desperately tried to cling to the hopes that perhaps that hug was meant as an apology, but he knew it wasn’t.</p>
<p>“Still,” Ian mumbled, “I’m really sorry I did that to you.” His voice had cut through the older elf’s thoughts, and Barley ran his hand down the length of Iandore’s back fondly.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay?” Barley murmured. Ian shifted to look up at the larger man, a solemn look in his eyes as umber orbs caught deep amber pools. It was a look that made the stocky elf quick to change the subject, upsetting his little brother wasn’t on his list of things to do this Springtide.</p>
<p>So, he pushed the smaller man up, sliding him off his lap and shifting so he was sitting on his hands and knees in front of the young mage.</p>
<p>“Besides,” he said, eyes raking over the other elf’s love bitten skin with satisfaction before moving his gaze back up, “I’ve definitely worked up an appetite after all that.. rigorous activity,” he smirked, watching in amusement as a blush washed over his little brother’s face. He glanced at his phone as a small chime caught his attention, quickly checking the screen and peering back at the younger Lightfoot.</p>
<p>“The guys are excited to meet you,” Barley said with a grin, moving to land a quick peck to his little brother’s cheek. Iandore chuckled, crossing his arms and watching the older man as he began to dress himself.</p>
<p>“They should be, I’m a hell of a catch,” the small wizard said playfully. Barley let out a laugh, bending to grab his vest.</p>
<p>“You’re damn right you are,” the older man encouraged as he slid the denim fabric over his shoulders, “now get dressed, I gotta feed you before you wither away into nothing but bones.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Looks like the boys are rebuilding that foundation of trust. </p>
<p>So heartwarming.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oooooof,</p>
<p>Listen this one’s pretty long and the next one may be as well.</p>
<p>There’s just a lot, okay? I really don’t wanna stretch this out for fifty chapters so these last bits are gonna be pretty lengthy alright?</p>
<p>Anyway, some new characters in here that I’ve been excited to introduce and now the time has finally come.</p>
<p>I know I’ve said in the past that writing actual events like parties, and festivals *cough cough chapter fifteen a.k.a the vain of my existence cough* is like the devil to me but I’ve decided to punch that mindset in the throat sOOOOooo</p>
<p>Please enjoy this steaming hot chapter of tavern time that I actually had fun writing</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian squirmed nervously in his seat, watching quietly as they passed building after endless building of the bumbling town of Stonemead. His chest was tight as the fear of rejection loomed in the back of his skull.</p>
<p>Unlike Barley, Ian had never been very great in social situations. He never knew what to say or how to act around large groups, and spending time with complete strangers was something he found to be rather scary.</p>
<p>He hadn’t even noticed he was bouncing his leg with one fist wrapped tightly over the strap of his seat belt as worried eyes watched the orange glow of the sunset outside.</p>
<p>“Would you relax? You’re starting to make me nervous,” Barley teased, cutting through the silence with his voice. Ian glanced over at the older Lightfoot, lips tightening apologetically as a soft sigh left his nose.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he mumbled, halting the movement of his leg and folding his hands in his lap. Barley tightened his lips into a sympathetic smile, glancing back and forth from the road and the smaller elf beside him.</p>
<p>“You know, we don’t have to go if you’re not feeling up to it,” the larger man said quietly. Ian shook his head.</p>
<p>“No, I wanna go, I-I’m just... I dunno,” he muttered, looking down at his lap in defeat, “‘m nervous,” he finished quietly. Barley adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, peering over at his younger brother once more before offering a small grin.</p>
<p>“They don’t bite,” he assured, watching as Ian turned his head to meet the older man’s eyes, “I mean, Molt’s kind of an ass sometimes, but he’s just a grumpy old gremlin,” Barley said with a shrug, smirking over at the younger Lightfoot. This brought a small laugh out of the smaller elf. There was a sense of relief that washed over the larger man at seeing his brother relax a little. Still, he wanted to take Ian’s mind off of his anxieties for a moment.</p>
<p>“And you know,” the older Lightfoot began, gazing back at the road ahead of them, “I’ve got a pretty cool spot for the shower Thursday night- I’d go out there a bunch when I was still attending classes,” Barley explained, eyes darting left to right as he rolled through a stop sign.</p>
<p>“I just hope we get a decent spot,” Ian pondered, his demeanor seeming to fall at ease. </p>
<p>The meteor shower that was predicted to pass by was a highly anticipated event considering the timing. Springtide was already deemed romantic enough without the strings of shooting stars that were going to litter the night sky.</p>
<p>Barley scoffed, smugly smirking and glancing at his little brother once more, “this spot’s pretty exclusive,” the older man assured. Ian knitted his brows, giving his brother a lighthearted look of perplexity.</p>
<p>“What like, there’s a secret code to get in?” Ian teased. This earned him a soft chuckle from the stocky elf as he turned his attention back to the paved road.</p>
<p>“No, it’s just secluded. Not a lot of people know about it,” Barley explained. Ian sat back in his seat, shaking his head in question as he continued to pry the older man.</p>
<p>“Wait, so you’d just go to a deserted field and do what exactly?” The younger Lightfoot asked. Hearing about his brother’s life in the time between his gap year and now was often intriguing to the lithe wizard considering that, unlike Ian, his brother actually lived pretty eventfully.</p>
<p>Sometimes that was a hard pill to swallow however, seeing as Ian felt that those years passed were some of his most trying times. He simply faded where his brother blossomed and it was something he felt a little resentful towards at times.</p>
<p>And yet, chipping away at the mystery that was Barley Lightfoot was becoming a topic of interest to the smaller elf. His brother had many layers and odd behaviors that he had since brushed off as “it’s just Barley.” But, upon learning more about him, about the twists and turns of his brain, listening to his past experiences, no matter how off the wall or mundane, was quite fascinating to say the least.</p>
<p>His eyes studied the older man as sienna eyes darted back and forth between his younger sibling and the road. The soft orange hues of evening contrasting against his skin and adding to the golden glint of his eyes. The larger elf cleared his throat, offering a quick glance towards Ian before shifting in his seat and dropping one hand from the wheel.</p>
<p>“Well, there’d be lots of tailgates out there that a bunch of frat houses would throw,” he said, sheepishly looking away as he continued, “and sometimes I’d go out there to participate in... certain activities involving the company of another.” Ian felt a deep blush bloom across his cheeks, swallowing down the flustering feeling that erupted in his stomach. Instead, he crossed his arms, mocking offense.</p>
<p>“Do I look like some easy college floozy to you?” It was playful, and it seemed to relax the older man as a deep laugh erupted from his chest. Barley shook his head, a devious smirk on his face as he nodded his head in Ian’s direction. Golden eyes unabashedly catching onto rich umber pools.</p>
<p>“You were pretty easy last night,” his tone is borderline sultry and smooth like silk. Ian’s blush deepens and he slides down into his seat, subconsciously placing a hand atop his chest where deep bruises peppered the skin beneath his white undershirt.</p>
<p>They don’t normally talk about their sexual escapades so openly. It’s kept more as a silent understanding between the two that doesn’t need to be vocally acknowledged. So, Barley being so brash in the moment certainly had the smaller elf feeling a little flustered.</p>
<p>“Y-yeah, well, you’re easy all the time, so,” Ian stuttered, glaring out the window with a grumpy gaze. He heard his brother chuckle at that, yet he kept his eyes fixed on watching the outside.</p>
<p>“You got me there,” the older man mused, smiling fondly at the elf beside him.</p>
<p>There was a silence that fell over them as Barley continued to drive. Nervousness began to blossom in the pit of the younger Lightfoot’s chest as they approached what he assumed to be The Peddler.</p>
<p>It was less of an assumption once his eyes rested upon the sign above it. From the outside it appeared seedy, stacked stones and marble details made for most of the building’s structure. The windows are dark, making it hard to peer inside but quite a few cars are packed into the parking lot.</p>
<p>It takes Barley a moment to find a spot to but once he does he shuts off the engine, clearing his throat and peering at the smaller man cautiously.</p>
<p>“Ready?” He asks, brows knitted together in a worrisome gaze. Ian merely nods, swallowing thickly as he removes his seatbelt.</p>
<p>Silently, they make their way to the entrance, Ian digging in his pocket to have his ID ready as they walk through worn wooden doors. The strong smell of mead and fried delights wafts into Iandore’s face upon entering, the atmosphere coming alive as his eyes dance over the heavily occupied space. He stays close behind his brother, swiftly approaching a satyr standing at a pedestal, tapping away at the computer in front of him.</p>
<p>He eventually looks up, asking for identification and stamping the back of Ian’s hand with an “under 21,” stamp that smudges slightly with how quickly it’s placed against his flesh. The young Lightfoot stares at it for a moment before he peers up, eyes wandering across the tavern thoughtfully.</p>
<p>Weathered wooden floors span across the pub, holding above it rows of long wooden tables. Booths were lined against the far walls and the bar area was littered with guests that chattered amongst each other. Squared stone beams support what appears to be a loft above them, decorated with molten candles in a true medieval fashion. </p>
<p>“Pretty cool, right?” Barley says, softly prodding the younger elf with his elbow as his own eyes glance around the pub. Ian offers a small grin, desperately trying to bury his nervousness. There's a voice that cuts through the heavy noise of the bar, however, pulling the young wizard’s attention from his brother.</p>
<p>“Hey, Lightfoot!” An elf called, catching Barley’s attention. Ian watched as the other elf approached them, receding from the long staircase that descended from the upper floor and seeping through the clusters of others. He wore a wide grin that accentuated his already high cheekbones. The elven man playfully nudged Barley on the shoulder upon greeting him, peering up at the older Lightfoot with deepset earthy hues of brown eyes, “we were wondering when you’d show,” his gaze fell, thick brows arching as he tugged Barley’s vest aside, “but, I see we weren’t exactly a priority,” he teased, referencing the mark just above the collar of Barley’s shirt, to which Ian felt a soft blush creep against his skin. </p>
<p>Barley merely rolled his eyes, batting the shorter elf’s hand away and letting that comment slide off his shoulders. He turned to Ian, placing a soft hand between the younger Lightfoot’s shoulder blades to gently push him forward.</p>
<p>“Rett, this is my little brother, Ian,” Barley began, a soft smile on his face and his hand sliding away from the smaller elf’s back, “Ian this is-“</p>
<p>“Everett Forthwind,” the other elf smiled, wisps of dark blue hair falling into his eyes as he reached for Iandore’s hand, to which Ian hesitantly grabbed a hold of for a firm shake, “nice to meet ya, Little Lightfoot, we’ve heard a lot about you.” </p>
<p>“Really?” Ian mumbled, glancing up at his older brother with uncertainty. The older elf merely crossed his arms, a soft smile still on his lips. Ian’s hand was released and the young mage turned his attention back to the elf in front of him.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah,” Everett nodded, stuffing his hands in the pockets on his jeans, “you’re a wizard, right?” He asked, hand coming back out to point at Iandore in question. The smaller man shrugged. He shouldn’t be surprised that Barley had bragged about him, the older man was always enthusiastic about his little brother’s magic abilities.</p>
<p>“I mean, I know a little magic, not-not a lot though,” he stuttered, trying desperately to kick his anxiousness. Rett hummed, staring fondly at Ian before clearing his throat.</p>
<p>“Well, anyway-“ he motioned behind himself with his thumb, eyes shooting back up to Barley, “we’re in the loft if you guys wanna head on up, I was heading to the bar if you want anything.”</p>
<p>“You know my poison,” Barley smirked, hand finding its way to Ian’s back to guide him forward once more. Ian shot him a worried glance that Barley brushed off for a moment as the other elf spoke.</p>
<p>“You got it,” Everett chirped, moving past them briskly. The older Lightfoot peered back down, meeting Ian’s nervous gaze as they walked through the tavern and towards the stairs.</p>
<p>“Just relax, I’m only having a few,” the larger elf promised. Ian let out a small huff of air through his nose, grabbing the wooden rail and looking up at the other man sternly.</p>
<p>“You get like, three max,” he warned. Barley gave him an unamused look, still knowing better than to argue.</p>
<p>“You’re no fun,” he grumbled. It’s meant to be teasing, however Ian’s shooting daggers at him and the larger elf sighs softly, his expression softening, “okay, okay, no more than three,” he murmurs. Ian’s face shifts gratefully, following closely behind his brother as they make their way up the stairs to the loft of the pub.</p>
<p>There was music moving through the open space, chatter among chatter of others around them ringing in the young elf’s ears as he walked, silently wishing he could curl in on himself. He winced as they passed by a pool table, the sound of a cue ball breaking a pyramid clacked painfully against his ear drums.</p>
<p>Absentmindedly he reached ahead of himself, tugging softly on the thick fabric of Barley’s vest in an effort to grab the man’s attention. Barley turned, slowly as they continued to walk. He gave Ian a worrisome look upon seeing the smaller man’s face, gently tugging his little brother to the side so as to be out of the way of others.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” The older Lightfoot asked. Ian swallowed thickly, his heart racing in his chest as he peered around the tavern.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Barley said, ducking his head closer so Iandore could hear him over the bustling noise. Umber eyes returned to the elf before him, darting to a fro between concerned hazel orbs.</p>
<p>“I’m right here,” the larger elf offers a small smile, “and we can go whenever you want to, okay?” Ian lets out a short breath at that, lips tightening almost apologetically. He knows his social battery is already just about shot, but the reassurance from his brother helps to make him feel a little better.</p>
<p>With words stuck in his throat, Ian gives his big brother a quick nod. It’s enough for the other man to visibly relax, a glint of ease shimmering behind his eyes as he motions his head in the direction they had been moving.</p>
<p>“Now c’mon, I’ve been looking forward to introducing you to these guys,” Barley murmurs, guiding the young mage through the bar once more.</p>
<p>They come across a tall booth sitting against the far wall where a short gremlin and a cyclops sporting a dark grey university hoodie are sitting, both seeming enamored in conversation. Barley instantly lights up with recognition, picking up the pace in his walking for a moment. Ian tries to stay close, brows falling as he feels himself becoming more high strung.</p>
<p>The cyclops perks up, his green eye catching onto the older Lightfoot brother before a grin spreads over his face, “well, look who decided to show,” he says, patting the gremlin on the arm with the back of his hand. The older looking man sits back, glowing ochre eyes shifting up at the elven brothers.</p>
<p>“Shit, I didn’t realize I was gonna have to deal with you tonight,” he says, voice laced with annoyance as he watches Barley. The older Lightfoot merely chuckles, stopping as he reached the table.</p>
<p>“A fine, ‘hello,’ to you too,” he smirks. The cycloptic man leans forward onto the table, pointing a finger towards Iandore in question.</p>
<p>“Is that the wizard?” He asks, dropping his hand back to the wooden surface. Barley nods, looking back at the elf in question proudly.</p>
<p>“Yep, this is my little brother, Sir Iandore Lightfoot,” he confirms with a smile, throwing an arm around the younger elf and motioning to the men before them, “the grumpy sourpuss there is Molt, and Cedar is the guy who requested my presence last night,” Barley introduces, moving his hand between each man as he says their name. Ian offers a tiny wave, a sheepish smile breaching his lips before Barley is nudging him to take a seat.</p>
<p>“Man, you guys look nothing like each other,” the cyclops gawked as he sat back into his seat, his singular eye watching as each of the elven brother’s settled onto a bar stool. </p>
<p>“Well, I can assure thee we are both Lightfoot men,” Barley said boisterously, a strong hand coming down onto Ian’s shoulder to give him a soft shake, Ian tightened his lips, eyes shooting up to his brother nervously as he felt the creeping weight of anxiety at the base of his skull.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but he’s like... small,” Cedar said, pinching his index finger and thumb for reference before motioning towards Barley to further emphasize his point, “like there’s no family resemblance.”</p>
<p>“Ian’s still growing into himself,” Barley said with a softer smile, giving one last little shake to Ian’s shoulder before bringing his arm to rest on the table. The gremlin on the other side of his brother shoots his yellow eyes towards the young mage, a hand coming to shift the faded navy cap atop his head before he reaches to hold his bottle of beer loosely in his clawed fingers.</p>
<p>“You plannin’ on college after graduation there, kid?” He asks, a gravelly voice emitting from his throat as the slits of his pupils meet Ian’s. Ian gives a quick glance to his older brother before returning his gaze to Molt, nervously dropping his hands to fiddle with a button on his open shirt.</p>
<p>“Um, yeah actually,” he nods, before rambling anxiously, “I mean, I’m not sure what I wanna do just yet but I’ve been applying and stuff, so...” his gaze falls onto his lap as heat rises to his cheeks. It was beyond him as to why he couldn’t just handle normal conversation.</p>
<p>“Well, hey,” the older gremlin starts, arching a thick salt and pepper brow towards the older Lightfoot brother, “just don’t be like dumbass over here and drop out,” he says with annoyance. Barley rolls his eyes, shaking his head softly.</p>
<p>“And here we go,” he mumbles, however there’s a playfulness to it that makes Ian feel more at ease, bringing his gaze back up to watch the exchange before him.</p>
<p>“So, you get a few credits under your belt and then what?” Molt asks, shrugging his shoulders to emphasize the question behind his words. Barley just shoots him a teasing smirk, leaning closer on the table.</p>
<p>“And then I get to spend the rest of my days working beside you,” he says smugly. Ian watches in amusement as the older gremlin grimaces at that, turning his attention resentfully back to the bottle in his hand.</p>
<p>“Sounds like the seventh circle of hell,” he grumbles, glowing yellow eyes shooting over to the cyclops beside him with a glare as an arm is thrown over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Oh, c’mon, Molt, you know you love us,” Cedar chirps. The gremlin merely shrugs him off, bringing the bottle to his lips as his eyes stare ahead thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Please, I’m only here cuz it beats sitting at home with my wife,” he says spitefully before sipping from his glass bottle. Ian chuckles softly at that, umber eyes glancing towards his brother once more. It was refreshing to see this side of Barley’s life actually, and the playful banter was helping to calm his nerves. He knew he shouldn’t have been so worried, Barley always had a keen sense of people when it came to his friend circles.</p>
<p>So, the young elf let out a breath of relief through his nose, leaning forward to fold his arms on top of the tall wooden booth and watching fondly at the interactions ahead of him.</p>
<p>“Well, you don’t have to worry about Sir Ian here,” Barley said, motioning to the smaller elf beside him, “school’s way more his thing than mine.” Molt shot him an unamused look, his lizard like eyes darting over Barley’s sternly.</p>
<p>“That supposed to be some bullshit excuse?” He gruffed. Ian felt his stomach tighten at the way Barley’s brows knitted together in mild frustration. The older elf moved to speak, however a smooth voice cut him off before he could speak.</p>
<p>“Alright, here’s this for you,” Everett said, emerging from seemingly nowhere with a few drinks in his hands, setting a beer down in front of Barley and shooting a sideways grin towards Ian, “and I didn’t know what you liked, so I just grabbed you a water,” he murmured, sliding a glass towards the younger Lightfoot. Ian perked in surprise, reaching for the glass to pull it closer. Rett nudged a paper wrapped straw towards him, which Ian took carefully.</p>
<p>“Oh, thanks,” he muttered, tapping the straw onto the table to pop it through the paper that encased it. The other elf kept his grin, moving to sit besides Cedar and across from Iandore. He sets his own beer down and pulls his cell from the back pocket of his snug jeans and tosses it gracelessly onto the surface of the table before taking his seat, dark eyes holding the smaller man’s gaze.</p>
<p>“No problem, Little Lightfoot,” he shrugged, a hand adjusting the cuff of his rolled sleeves. The smaller man swallows, his eyes darting to Barley for a moment- who’s shooting a weird look towards the elf across the table- before he turns attention to the plastic tube between his fingers.</p>
<p>“Ian’s fine,” the young mage assured, plopping his straw into his cup. He could feel heat returning to his cheeks as the other elf’s gaze remained on him for a moment, the rise of his blush traveling to the tips of his spaded ears. </p>
<p>However, Cedar prodded at the elven man, motioning towards the gremlin beside him, “Rett, you’re just in time, Molt was just about to tear into Bar over his schooling for like, the hundredth time,” the cycloptic man chuckled, pink skin flushed a deeper fuschia from what Ian assumes to be the alcohol he’s drinking. Rett laughs lightly, digging into his shirt pocket before pulling out a carton of cigarettes and a lighter.</p>
<p>Ian wrinkled his nose at that slightly, hoping the elf wasn’t planning on lighting one of those inside.</p>
<p>“Oh, man, Molt, you gotta give up on that, buddy,” he says with a shake of his head, shifting his attention to the older Lightfoot brother in amusement, “Bar’s made it pretty clear he’s not cut out for campus life,” he teased, pulling a cigarette from the cardboard box it sat in. </p>
<p>Ian glanced up at his brother once more, knowing that his schooling had been a topic of interest between him and their mother in the past. The older Lightfoot just continues to stare at the elf across the table with a humorless expression. It’s almost unsettling to the younger Lightfoot, however his demeanor changes as the gremlin replies.</p>
<p>Molt sits back, completely ignoring Rett’s statement and crossing his arms over his chest. He shakes his head, face contorting with disgust, “put that shit away, I don’t need you giving me cancer.” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Barley chimes in, “and while you’re at you can take your business degree and fuck off,” there’s a lightheartedness to his teasing despite the scowl he had moments ago that puts the young mage back at ease, and Ian watches as the elf across him sighs in defeat, meeting Barley’s gaze with a nod as he slides his cigarette back in its place.</p>
<p>“I just might,” he laughs, eyes glancing over to the cyclops as he tucks his carton back into his shirt pocket, “is Art showin’ his face tonight or what’s goin’ on?” He asks. Cedar shakes his head, taking a swig of his beer before pulling out his phone to check for confirmation.</p>
<p>“Nah, I think his girl’s about to pop, so,” he muttered, the screen of his phone reflecting against his eye.</p>
<p>“Oh man,” Barley laughed, bringing his own drink up to his lips, “no wonder he was a nervous wreck the other day,” he chuckled in amusement as he sipped from his drink. Ian found a bit of comfort in seeing how relaxed his brother seemed to be. Besides, he could happily watch the conversation in front of him knowing that Barley would remove him from the situation if he needed to breathe.</p>
<p>“Shit, the last thing you fuckers should be doing is procreating,” Molt grumbled with the shake of his head. There was a collective laughter from the other men, even Ian letting out a soft chuckle, prodding his straw through his water to swish the ice around.</p>
<p>“Well,” Rett sighs, “if it’s just us then you know what that means,” he shoots a glance between Cedar and Barley, to which the cyclops replies.</p>
<p>“We gonna rack ‘em up?” The cycloptic man asks, drumming the table a few times for added enthusiasm. Everett nods, taking another drink before setting his beer down and smacking the table lightly and pointing a finger at Ian.</p>
<p>“Yep, and I got Little Lightfoot on my team- or, sorry,” the elven man says, a sly smile spreading over his face, “Ian,” he corrects, earthy eyes catching onto the younger elf’s bashful gaze.</p>
<p>“Ooooh, battle of the brothers,” Cedar grins, “who will come out superior?” He ponders as he takes another drink. Barley chuckles, motioning towards the smaller elf beside him.</p>
<p>“Oh definitely, Ian,” he laughs, “he’s the golden child.” Ian shoots him a soft glare that goes unnoticed by the older Lightfoot. Still, the young mage feels his chest tighten as he darts his eyes to his older brother before looking back at the men across from him.</p>
<p>“I’ve, um, never really played pool,” the younger Lightfoot brother stutters, wringing his hands nervously. </p>
<p>“Really? Well, I can guarantee you’re already better at it than big brother here,” Everett laughs teasingly. The older Lightfoot rolls his eyes, turning his attention to his little brother and placing a soft hand on his shoulder that pulls the young mage back for a moment. Umber eyes meeting hazel for a comforting gaze.</p>
<p>“It’s pretty simple,” Barley smiles, giving the smaller elf another gentle shake for reassurance, “way more simple than your wizardry,” the older man smirks. Ian lets out a soft breath before nodding, returning with a small smile.</p>
<p>“Yeah, and it’s all for good fun anyway,” Cedar assures, his kind green eye welcoming as he smiles warmly at the younger elf. Ian lets out a small breath through his nose, eyes darting down to the table for a moment before he nods.</p>
<p>“Alright,” he murmurs, still feeling the anxiousness in his tummy.</p>
<p>“Awesome,” the cyclops chirps, standing from his barstool, “I’ll go grab us a table,” he announces before briskly walking away, Everett following closely behind him. Barley turned to the sour gremlin, giving him a soft nudge on the arm with his elbow.</p>
<p>“You wanna play?” He asked teasingly, almost as if he already knows the answer he’s going to get. Molt scoffs, reaching for his beer.</p>
<p>“No, the lot of you are shit players,” he gruffs, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand. Barley raises his hands defensively, moving to stand up from his bar stool.</p>
<p>“Suit yourself, you grumpy bastard,” he says, earning a sideways glare from the other man. The older Lightfoot turns to his sibling, hazel eyes warm as he nods his head in the opposite direction.</p>
<p>“You comin’?” Barley asks. Ian’s lips tighten, hands coming once again to fiddle with a button on his open flannel shirt. There’s something in the warmth emitting from his brother’s stare that makes himself feel a sense of comfort. That regardless of his nervousness, he’s not alone. So, he pulls his expression into a small grin before standing from his own barstool.</p>
<p>“Yep,” he breathes, moving to follow his brother as they weave through the tavern and towards a worn pool table. It was then that Iandore decided he wouldn’t let himself get in the way of enjoying this time with his brother. He was determined to make this a good night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aw, hopefully Iandore finally finds a place to fit in. We all know our poor boi has had it rough in the friends department.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lots of dialogue here, my guys</p>
<p>Other than that I hope this reads well, </p>
<p>Enjoooyyyy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Barley had been relieved to see the guys handling Ian so easily. He had warned them beforehand that his little brother was rather soft spoken and little introverted, so approaching him gently was an absolute must.</p>
<p>He had been a little worried considering the usual bouts of conversation that goes on between them has a lot to do with giving each other shit, however Ian seemed to be enjoying the banter from the sidelines.</p>
<p>In all honesty, this wasn’t his usual scene either. Taverns are fun, however he doesn’t normally indulge in bar games, and he never had until he’d moved out to Stonemead. It was no epic campaign, but it was enjoyable enough. Besides, it wasn’t like anyone he’d befriended was as enthusiastic about Quests of Yore like he was. </p>
<p>Regardless, he couldn’t help but smile as he observed Cedar and Rett talking over the rules of the game with his little brother, enthusiastically explaining the basics as the cyclops set up the table.</p>
<p>“So, basically, don’t hit the eight ball until you’ve sunken the other balls,” Rett explained as he chalked up a pool cue.</p>
<p>“Yeah, your brother had a real hard time figuring that one out,” Cedar laughed, motioning to the older Lightfoot with his thumb as he was assorting the polyester balls into the shape of a pyramid.</p>
<p>Barley dropped his smile, shooting an annoyed glare towards the cycloptic man.</p>
<p>“That’s because you guys told me that sinking the eight ball was an automatic win,” he grumbled, remembering his first visit to the tavern after his first week of working at the shop. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Everett chuckled, “for the opposing player.”</p>
<p>“It’s basic pool knowledge, Bar,” Cedar chimed in, removing the wooden frame from the table he’d used to rack up the balls. Ian seemed to be watching in mild amusement, eyes moving back and forth from his older brother and the other men.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I don’t usually waste my time with these lowly tavern trades,” Barley scoffed, “and quite frankly, I don’t see why the Knolling Hills boy over there does either,” the larger elf moved his hand in Rett’s direction, earning a scowl from the elf. The cyclops straightened, putting a hand over his chest in mock offense.</p>
<p>“Easy there, you know how Rett gets when you mention daddy’s money,” Cedar said tauntingly, earning an eye roll from the elf in question.</p>
<p>“If either one of you says a word about me being a trust fund baby I’ll come across the table and take you both out,” Everett warned, handing a pool cue to Iandore. Barley and Cedar laughed collectively, the cyclops shakes his head and motions towards the older Lightfoot brother.</p>
<p>“Please, I would love to see you try and take on this absolute tank of a man with your dainty build,” he teased, moving his hand once more towards Rett and looking him up and down in reference to the man’s slender body. Meanwhile, Barley stood smugly, finding humor in the interaction before him. His eyes moved towards his brother a few times, watching him for any signs of discomfort.</p>
<p>The young mage merely observed the men before him, leaning on his pool cue quietly with a soft smirk.</p>
<p>Everett shot the cyclops a glare, crossing his arms defensively, “well, I think Ian and I could take him,” he grumbled, nudging the smaller elf with his elbow and shooting him a smile, “right, Little Lightfoot?” Barley raised an inquisit brow, watching Rett carefully as he observed the elf’s interactions with his sibling.</p>
<p>He knew Rett could be a bit of a casanova, however, Barley had only ever seen him flirt with women. Still, he was being rather friendly with Iandore, in a way that was starting to catch the older man’s attention. It’s a thought he tries to push from his mind, he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions and he did mention to his buddies that they needed to be a bit softer around Ian.</p>
<p>So, he shook the thought, and focused instead on watching his younger brother as he anticipated a response. </p>
<p>Ian glanced over at the older man, umber eyes lit from the dim lights of the tavern, “I think you’re on your own there, man,” the younger Lightfoot said, moving his gaze towards the other elf beside him, “Barley’s pretty persistent.” </p>
<p>“Ha! See? Three to one,” Cedar said smugly, holding his cue in a playfully threatening stance, “come and try it, pretty boy.” The elven man ignores him, turning to Iandore and placing his hand above his heart to portray a faux pain in his chest.</p>
<p>“Double L, I thought we were a team,” Everett teases. There’s a soft blush that blooms across Ian’s cheeks, his eyes darting as if he’s trying to find the right words to respond. Barley decides to take him off the hot seat, moving over to throw his arm over the younger man’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Iandore knows that blood is thicker than water,” Barley smirks, catching onto grateful doe eyes with his amber gaze.</p>
<p>“Iandore? I thought it was just, ‘Ian,’” Rett smirks watching the younger Lightfoot with hooded eyes and catching the small wizard’s attention. There’s a drop in his voice that has it ringing smoothly through Barley’s ears and it makes his blood run cold.</p>
<p>Ian quickly glances back at his brother before he turns back to the other man, “it-it is just Ian,” he stutters, his blush deepening. The older Lightfoot chooses to take the opportunity of his brother looking away from him to glare at the elf he’s speaking to. It goes unnoticed, and Rett merely continues.</p>
<p>“Well, Just Ian, you wanna break?” He asks, eyes smoldering as he nods his head towards the pool table.</p>
<p>“Umm…” Ian mutters, eyeing the table intently as he worries his lip. As if to relieve the tension,  Cedar comes across the table, holding the cue ball in one hand to place it onto the scratchy green surface of the pool table.</p>
<p>“Here, there’s lots of pressure breaking the formation,” he says playfully, “I’ll take this one off your shoulders, bud,” he smiles kindly, turning to bend over the table. He slides the cue softly between his fingers, reeling back a few times as he takes aim and knocks it into the milky white ball. The polyester spheres scatter as it crashes into the pyramid, sinking a striped ball.</p>
<p>“You guys got solids,” Cedar chirps, moving to stand and admiring his work proudly. He guides Ian to the other side of the table where the white ball ended up, explaining the game a little further. It leaves Barley alone with Everett, his arms crossing over his chest as he leans over the other elf so as to be closer to his ear.</p>
<p>“Tone it down,” Barley warns, voice stern as he stares ahead at his little brother. Rett, looks over at him, arching a brow in question.</p>
<p>“Tone what down?” He asks as if he’s oblivious to what the older Lightfoot is talking about. Barley doesn’t speak, he just moves his eyes to lower them in Everett’s direction. Realization lights up on the shorter elf’s face, he offers a slow nod as he turns his head back in Ian’s direction.</p>
<p>“Oohhh… Sorry, I didn’t expect him to be so cute,” Rett says with a shrug, watching the younger Lightfoot intently. Barley grits his teeth for a moment, anger setting in the back of his head at that.</p>
<p>“He’s still in high school, so knock it off,” the larger elf spits. Rett turns, brows lowering at the venom behind Barley’s words. Still, he glares at the taller man challengingly.</p>
<p>“For like, what? Two more months?” Everett asks, turning to face Barley fully. The older Lightfoot flares his nostrils, taking a step closer so his form is looming over the other elf.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter,” Barley huffs, “knock it off,” he repeats, eyes dark as he stared down at the other elf. Rett takes a breath, his lips tightening as he returns the gaze. It seems that he had decided not to argue because he doesn’t say anything. He just turns back to face the table with a slight scowl.</p>
<p>And Barley doesn’t press it further, he doesn’t feel that he has to. He doesn’t believe that Everett would disrespect him like that and he takes a moment to calm himself.</p>
<p>All that matters is that Ian has a good time tonight. The poor kid is coming off of a rough winter, and Barley knows how he struggles in school so he’s determined to give him the Springtide that he deserves.</p>
<p>As it would turn out, Ian’s actually pretty decent when it comes to pool. It hadn’t taken him very long to realize that the small dots lining the table were put in place to measure angles and it made shooting the balls a lot easier.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that they were playing against each other, Barley was very enthusiastic over the young wizard’s skillful playing. It was pretty encouraging, and he felt himself relaxing a lot more as time went on.</p>
<p>Barley wasn’t the only one sharing enthusiasm though, Cedar would jokingly taunt the older man, “if I would have known your brother was such a silent killer I would have played with him on my team.”</p>
<p>To which Rett merely shrugged his shoulders, smirking over at the younger Lightfoot, his dark eyes hooded, “game recognizes game, right, Iandore?” It was a statement that Ian had brushed off, but his eyes had caught Barley’s and the older man was sending a glare towards the taller elf, a hard look remaining on his face for a moment before turning his attention back to the game.</p>
<p>They only play a couple rounds, drinks flowing and music moving through the space of the bar jovially. Ian had been relieved to see Barley staying true to his word and nursing only his second beer by the time they’d receded back to their booth.</p>
<p>It was empty upon their arrival and Ian gave a questioning look to his older brother, who just shrugged, “Molt’s probably at the bar- he jumps around a lot,” he explained.</p>
<p>“Yeah, probably hangin’ out with his buddies who also have an AARP membership,” Cedar laughed drunkenly as he stumbled a little. Unlike the older Lightfoot brother, he hadn’t been nursing his drinks. Ian chuckles at that, settling onto a barstool. </p>
<p>The cyclops falls a little in trying to grab his own stool before Barley can take the spot next to Ian. The older Lightfoot quickly catches the other man, grabbing onto his arm and helping him into his seat.</p>
<p>“Aw, that’s cute. I remember when I had my first beer,” Rett teases, sliding into the spot that Barley would have taken beside the young wizard, watching the cyclops in amusement. Despite his taunts, his cheeks are also flushed from the booze he’d been sipping on throughout the night. Though he was still in much better shape than the one eyed man across from him. </p>
<p>“Shut up, Forthwind, you’re drinking IPA’s like an asshole,” the cyclops grumbles. The elven man just snickers, avoiding yet another glare from the older Lightfoot brother as he sits back into his seat.</p>
<p>Barley begrudgingly takes the spot next to Cedar, sitting across from Iandore, much to his demise.</p>
<p>“Speaking of, what’s say we get Iandore an actual drink, huh? I think he’s earned one after all that victory,” Everett says, resting his arm on the backrest of Ian’s stool. The younger man flushes, eyes darting to the elf beside him sheepishly. Before he can deny the offer, Barley’s cutting in.</p>
<p>“Uh, no,” the stocky elf says shortly, brows furrowed and eyes hardened with what Ian recognized to be irritation. </p>
<p>“Oh, c’mon- isn’t it like a holiday for you guys? Let the boy drink!” Cedar cheers, grabbing his beer, raising it with a nod of the bottle before taking a generous swig. Barley just looks at him with mild annoyance, his lips tightening and his eyes darting forward.</p>
<p>“No, the bartenders here are pretty strict about underage drinking,” he explains, relaxing a little as he rests an arm on top of the table, his other hand resting on his thigh, “and I really don’t feel like getting kicked out of the tavern tonight,” he muses. Everett scoffs, his tapping his fingers on the surface of the booth.</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he says. Ian perks up at this, arching a brow towards his older brother.</p>
<p>“Wait, really?” He asks, folding his arms onto the table and leaning in to listen, “what did you do?” A slow smile spread over Barley's face, a glint of light behind his eyes as they caught onto Ian’s.</p>
<p>“There was a bit of a… disagreement between me and another guy from the shop,” the older Lightfoot shrugged.</p>
<p>“Bar definitely knocked that guy into the next dimension- I heard the hit from across the room,” Cedar said in awe, a hand on his chest in reference to himself.</p>
<p>“This guy and his temper,” Everett says, shaking his head lightly, dark brown eyes watching the larger elf as he brings his own drink to his lips to knock back what’s left in the bottle. Ian knits his brows together, eyes moving back and forth from the elf beside him to the men across from him.</p>
<p>“Temper? Barley’s never had much of a temper at home,” he says in bewilderment. There were times when Barley would be angry, but he’d always leave to go cool off and he and their mother never really saw how the older Lightfoot went about calming himself down.</p>
<p>However, Ian starts to think of his brother’s argument with Laurel over Winterfest, his busted knuckles after Ian had confronted him about their father and it starts to make a little sense.</p>
<p>Still, it’s hard to imagine Barley losing his cool like that in public.</p>
<p>“Are you kidding?” Cedar asked, throwing an arm over Barley’s shoulder and pointing towards him with his other hand, “this mans is notorious for chuckin’ wrenches across the shop,” he slurred. Barley just rolls his eyes playfully, moving to sit back and cross his arms over his chest.</p>
<p>“It’s true,” Rett chimed in, pulling the younger Lightfoot’s gaze towards him, “I’ve almost lost my head a few times,” he smirks, his arm still resting behind the younger Lightfoot. A gesture Ian’s trying not to dwell on, however the elf is close enough that he can feel warmth radiating off of him. </p>
<p>Rett’s words warrant a laugh from the cyclops across the table, dropping his arm from the larger elf’s shoulders to rest on the table. </p>
<p>“Molt had ‘im doin’ nothin’ but oil changes for an entire month one time when he damn near putta hole through the wall,” he exclaimed, chuckling a bit more as a fit of giggles came about. The cyclops dropped his head onto the table, laughter muffled onto the surface. Barley and Rett each share a knowing glance, looking back at the cycloptic man with amusement.</p>
<p>Everett checks the time on his phone, peering back up at the drunken man across from him, “damn, C, only ten o’ clock and you’re already cut off for the night,” he says, shooting a shit eating grin towards the other man. Barley moves to grab Cedar’s beer, placing it on the other side of the table away from him and patting the befuddled cyclops on the back.</p>
<p>“Just take it easy there, bud,” the older Lightfoot teases. Cedar brings his arms up, folding them under his head and burying his face into the crook of his elbow. </p>
<p>“Stop it, you guys ‘re gonna make Little Lightfoot think I’m some kinda light weight,” he mutters, voice muffled by the cotton fabric of his hoodie. Ian smiles at this, having genuinely felt that Cedar had been making such an effort to make him feel comfortable and accepted all night. </p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Ian assures, “you’re doing way better than I ever have.” It warrants a soft hum from the man as he slumps against the table. </p>
<p>“Yep,” Barley nods, pulling out his phone, “I’m letting your roommate know that you’re blasted so he can come pick you up,” the older Lightfoot states. </p>
<p>“Yeah, definitely past his bedtime,” Rett laughs, moving to stand and plucking his carton of cigarettes from his pocket, “I’m gonna step out for a moment,” he claims, smacking the surface of the table lightly before he recedes from the booth. Barley’s eyes watch the other elf leave, before turning his attention back to his phone. He taps the screen with his thumb for a moment before setting the device down and letting out a sigh, lifting his gaze to the young wizard. </p>
<p>“You havin’ a good time?” He asks, a sideways grin spreading over his face. Ian shrugs, looking around the tavern. </p>
<p>“Yeah, this place is pretty cool,” he ponders, turning his attention back to his older brother. The older Lightfoot crosses his arms over his chest, staring thoughtfully at the smaller elf across from him. </p>
<p>“Well, we probably won’t stay too much longer,” Barley says, nodding his head towards the slumped cyclops, “I wanna make sure this guy gets home and then we’ll leave, sound good?” Ian offers a smile, feeling a small wave of relief come over him. While, yes he had been having a good time his social battery was starting to wear thin and he really didn’t want to stay out too late. </p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s fine,” he nods. Barley grins, eyes watching the younger Lightfoot fondly before his phone lights up on the table. The larger elf peers down at it, humming softly to himself. </p>
<p>“And that’s his roommate,” he confirms, checking the notification. Ian waits patiently for Barley to respond before the older man stands. </p>
<p>“Alright, I’m gonna walk this guy out to the parking lot. I just shot Molt a quick text so, if you need anything he’s over by the bar,” Barley explain, nudging the sleepy cyclops gently before looking back up at Iandore, “I should be like- ten minutes tops and then we’ll go,” he smiles. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Ian says, watching as Barley manages to get the groggy man to his feet. Cedar seems too out of it to comprehend what’s happening but he follows the older Lightfoot regardless. </p>
<p>“See ya later, Lil’ Lightfoot,” he hiccups as he passes by. </p>
<p>“See ya,” Ian parrots with a laugh, watching his brother escort the cycloptic man away with an amused grin. He turns his attention back to the table, tracing the surface of the wood for a moment before his eyes shifted to dance across the tavern. </p>
<p>There was a soft orange glow to the pub, light fixtures flickering along the cobblestone walls. Music bounced throughout the empty spaces and guests continued to filter in and out of the loft, merrily enjoying the space they were occupying. </p>
<p>Ian tightened his lips thoughtfully, eyes continuing to flutter about his surroundings. </p>
<p>The night had gone far better than he’d expected, which was a refreshing change of pace considering how sour he had anticipated it to be. He should have known Barley’s friends to be so welcoming, but he really didn’t think he’d fit in so well. </p>
<p>A soft pat on his arm that breaks him from his thoughts, the lithe wizard turning his head in the direction of the touch. His eyes meet with Rett’s, his dark irises lit with a glint of admiration as he grins fondly at the young Lightfoot. In his hands, a fresh bottle of beer and a shot glass full of a clear liquid that he sets atop the surface of the booth.</p>
<p>“Oh, hey, Rett,” he chirps. The taller man gives him a look, shaking his head slightly as amusement graces his elven features.</p>
<p>“You can call me Everett,” he says, his voice rumbling from his chest smoothly, “sounds pretty coming off your lips,” he murmurs. Heat rises to Ian’s cheeks at that, his eyes darting away nervously. </p>
<p>“O-Okay,” he stammers, feeling a bit flustered at how flirtatious the other man was in approaching. It’s something Ian knocks into the back of his mind, it’s a topic he’s not really sure how to handle so avoiding it in the moment was something he decided to be for the best.</p>
<p>As if Everett could sense the tension emitting from the younger man, he cleared his throat and moved away from the topic, “so, about to graduate, huh?” He asks. Ian lets out a small breath through his nose in relief, bringing his eyes back up hesitantly. He merely shrugs his shoulders softly, watching the older man carefully.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he nods, folding his hands into his lap. Everett hums, pulling his phone from his back pocket and setting it down before sliding onto the stool besides the young mage. </p>
<p>The smell of smoke ghosts against Ian’s nose, but he tries his best to ignore it.</p>
<p>“That’s cool, got any colleges in mind?” He ponders, resting an elbow atop the wooden surface and leaning his weight into it. Ian tightens his lips, eyes moving to the seedy floor on the bar thoughtfully as he allows his body to finally relax a little.</p>
<p>“I mean, I’ve applied to a few but I haven’t really made up my mind just yet,” Ian says truthfully, bringing his eyes back up to the other elf’s face. Everett nods, turning to grab his bottle of beer before facing Ian once more.</p>
<p>“You ever think about attending Stonemead? They’ve got some pretty great programs,” he muses, deep set eyes hooded and hazy from the booze he’d been sipping. Ian shook his head, Stonemead University had been the last college on his mind when he’d begun applying in the fall.</p>
<p>“No, they’re a little more technical than I’d like,” he says, it’s merely an excuse, but he doesn’t want to explain his true disdain for the university. </p>
<p>“That’s too bad, I’d love to have you around more,” the older elf smiles, taking a small sip from his beverage. Ian blushes at that, dropping his gaze to his folded palms bashfully. </p>
<p>“B-Barley and I spend a lot of time together, so maybe you’ll see me more often,” he mutters, not daring to look up. Everett ducks his head, catching Iandore’s umber eyes. He smiles kindly, watching the younger man intently.</p>
<p>“I sure hope so,” he murmurs, his pupils blown, making his eyes appear like small pools of obsidian. Ian’s blush deepens as he raises his head, squeezing his palms together and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to chew on the skin.</p>
<p>Everett straightens, his smile forming into a smirk as he turns towards the booth, reaching for the shot glass he’d brought with him and nudging it in Ian’s direction.</p>
<p>“Well, hey, here’s to graduation,” he says slyly. Immediately Ian moves a hand to shake it in front of the small glass, wrinkling his nose slightly.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m actually pretty terrible at handling my alcohol- and besides, Barley already said he wouldn’t like me drinking in here,” he says, moving his gaze back up to the older man. Rett rolls his eyes, pushing the glass forward a smidge more in an attempt to get the young Lightfoot to accept.</p>
<p>“Oh, c’mon, it’s just one little shot,” he coaxes, a devious grin spreading over his face, “what big brother doesn’t know can’t hurt you.” The younger Lightfoot gives him a pleading look, his chest tightening at the thought of alcohol burning in his throat. The elf before him let out a sigh of defeat, pulling the glass away and instead moving his beer towards the young wizard.</p>
<p>“How ‘bout this- I’ll do the shot, but you’re takin’ a healthy drag outta this,” he suggests, giving the bottle a little shake for enthusiasm and speaking again to further his point, “I mean, surviving high school definitely calls for a victory beer, yeah?” Iandore slumps a little, letting out his own sigh of defeat. If anything, it’ll get the man to stop pestering him.</p>
<p>“Y-yeah, okay,” he breathes, reaching for the bottle softly. Everett shoots him a smile, lifting his shot glass for a toast. </p>
<p>“Alrighty, here’s to new beginnings,” he murmurs, his eyes lit with a spark of joy. Ian held up the bottle, allowing the older man to softly clink the glass together before they each brought their drinks to their lips. Rett downs his shot before Ian can even get the cool mead to touch his tongue. The elf taps his glass on the bar, grimacing slightly as he watches Ian take a sip.</p>
<p>Unsatisfied with the tiny swig Ian gulped, he reached over, tilting the bottom of the bottle before Ian could bring it down and lifting it back up so that the smaller elf had no choice but to down another mouthful</p>
<p>“C’mon, you can handle more than that,” he teases. The young wizard sputters for a moment, pulling back so he could actually remove the bottle from his lips. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, coughing a few times before he moves to speak. A familiar voice breaks through the music and chatter amongst the tavern before he can get his words out, startle him slightly. </p>
<p>“What do you think you’re doing?” Barley asks, eyes ablaze with an angry fire as he approaches the two elves. Ian’s stomach drops, words coming to spill from his lips as he thinks of an excuse. However, Barley isn’t even looking at him, instead he’s shooting daggers at Rett with how furious his glare is.</p>
<p>“Oh, shit,” the elf mutters, pulling the bottle from Ian’s hands and setting it on the bar. He moves to stand, hands coming up defensively, “look man, I was just congratulating him on school,” he explains loosely. Barley stops right in front of him, his larger form looming over the other elf.</p>
<p>“Pouring a beer down his throat is congratulating him?” The older Lightfoot growls, his fists clenched at his sides as he towers above the other man.</p>
<p>“Barley, it’s okay, I-“ he doesn’t even finish his sentence before his brother’s fiery gaze is on him, no words needed to be exchanged before Ian’s closing his mouth and shrinking down in his seat. The older man returns his attention to Everett, voice laced with venom as he speaks.</p>
<p>“I told you to leave him alone,” he growls. Rett rolls his eyes heavily with annoyance, meeting Barley’s stare once more.</p>
<p>“Jeez, would you fuckin’ relax? He’s your brother, not your wife,” he spits, eyeing the older Lightfoot brother up and down with a scowl. Neither elves have time to react before Barley is grabbing the back of Everett’s neck and shoving him face first into the hard surface of the table. </p>
<p>Ian jumps, stumbling slightly as he stands from his stool to take a step back, eyes frightened as he watches the exchange before him. His heart was pounding in his chest as silence fell across the bar, the attention of others falling onto the heated fiasco transpiring between the two elves.</p>
<p>“Get your hands off me,” Rett strains, squirming under Barley’s grasp. The older Lightfoot flares his nostrils, pressing the man further into the table and lowering so that his lips are above his ear. Barley’s lips curl dangerously, words unable to leave his lips as a voice cuts through the bar.</p>
<p>“What the fuck is your problem?” An angry Molt emerges from the crowded space of the tavern, ochre eyes watching Barley dangerously. The stocky elf curses under his breath, shoving away from Rett roughly. The shorter elf gives him a murderous glare before straightening and smoothing out his clothes. </p>
<p>“Yeah, seriously man, fuck you,” Everett snarls, ripping his cell off the bar and stalking off. It doesn’t phase Barley in the slightest, but Ian can’t help the stunned expression on his face.</p>
<p>However, Barley seems to slump a little as his eyes meet Molt’s, his gaze faltering as he crosses his arms.</p>
<p>“He was-“</p>
<p>“I really don’t give a shit,” Molt growls, motioning towards Ian, “you really wanna be acting like that in front of him?” Barley takes a deep breath, gluing his eyes to the floor and shaking his head softly.</p>
<p>“No,” he mutters. Ian notices his demeanor to be familiar in how he reacts to being scolded by their mother. </p>
<p>“I’ve told you to nip that temper of yours in the ass. Repeatedly,” the older gremlin spits, his voice lowering in volume so as to not make more of a scene. Barley’s eyes narrow, his foot tapping against the ground irately. He doesn’t speak, and Ian feels the creeping of anxiety returning to churn his stomach.</p>
<p>Molt relaxes a little, eyeing the older Lightfoot carefully, “why don’t you take your brother home and show up on Monday with a new fuckin’ attitude?” The stout gremlin suggests, setting his hands on his hips as he peers up at the much taller elf.</p>
<p>Barley nods his head, refusing to make eye contact, “yes sir,” he says quietly. He then turns towards Iandore, motioning his head in the other direction before stalking off. Ian lowers his eyes after his brother, shaking his head in resentment. </p>
<p>Begrudgingly, the younger Lightfoot stands, moving to follow after his brother. He just barely passes Molt, muttering an apology when the gremlin is calling after him.</p>
<p>“Hey, kid,” he says. Ian turns, raising a brow in question. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, would ya?” The younger Lightfoot nods, tightening his lips apologetically before turning once more to make for the stairs.</p>
<p>He has no idea what to expect as he makes his way out of the tavern.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>uH OH SPAGHETTIOS</p>
<p>Everett Forthwind of Knolling Hills definitely had that comin’ tho, cuz daddy don’t PLAY when it comes to his baby bro</p>
<p>BUT OH BOY</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright, everyone take a deep breath cuz this ones gonna be rough.</p>
<p>And by that I mean, please take the time to read over the tags and be safe while reading because shit is hitting the fan here.</p>
<p>As always, enjoy- or at least try to with this one</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a thick silence that filled the space of the van between the elven brothers as Barley drove, angry sienna flames transfixed on the road ahead as he gripped the wheel tightly. He’s trying to take even breaths to calm himself, because it really isn’t something that should work him up so much. </p>
<p>Still, Rett completely going against him like that doesn’t sit well, it infuriates him. And Molt’s assumption of the situation being a product of his short temper doesn’t help matters in the slightest. </p>
<p>It has him gritting his teeth, unable to help the bubblings of anger brewing beneath his skin. </p>
<p>Ian, on the other hand, is sitting quietly beside him, fiddling with his hands as tension radiates between them. </p>
<p>The smaller man eventually clears his throat, dropping his hands into his lap. </p>
<p>“You know the night’s still young,” he starts, voice wavering between uncertainty and lightheartedness, “we could go back to your place and watch a movie.”</p>
<p>There’s only silence as Barley continues to stare ahead, his grip still tightly wrapped around the leather of the steering wheel. </p>
<p>“We could build a pillow fort,” Ian says softly in a sing-song voice, leaning closer to the older man and offering a tiny smile. Barley lets out a breath through his nose, shifting slightly in his seat. </p>
<p>He knows that the younger elf is just trying to make light of the situation, but it doesn’t help to soothe his frustrations. Quite the opposite in fact, as any little noise is already serving as an irritant. Ian’s voice breaking through the silence only serves as another jab to his aggravation. </p>
<p>His lack of response seems to break Ian’s spirit a little as he slumps, crossing his arms and looking out the window longingly. </p>
<p>“Or you could just sit there and fume,” he grumbles, eyes hardening as he watches the window. </p>
<p>The older Lightfoot just scoffs quietly, shaking his head in annoyance. He has to bite his tongue and remind himself that Iandore isn’t the one he’s angry with. </p>
<p>And yet, from the peripherals of his vision, Barley can see Ian’s head turn with a scowl. His eyes scanning over the larger man for a moment before he speaks again. </p>
<p>“You know, you didn’t have to slam his head into the table, right?” The younger Lightfoot says, his face stern as he continues to glare at the older man. </p>
<p>Barley perks in surprise, finally tearing his gaze from the road to dart his eyes towards his little brother in outrage. </p>
<p>“Are you seriously defending him right now?” The larger elf spits, knuckles white with the vice like grip he has on the wheel. </p>
<p>“All I’m saying is that was… pretty unnecessary,” Ian said, arms still crossed over his chest and a hard expression remaining on his face. Barley scoffs at this, rolling his eyes and scanning the pavement outside the windshield. Slamming Rhett’s head into the table was merely child’s play considering the things he had thought about doing to the man. It’s not like he could have just walked away without any consequences after breaking Everett’s jaw like he wanted to. </p>
<p>“Sorry, how am I supposed to respond to some guy trying to booze you up?” Barley huffs, the blood thrumming through his ears and the emotions bubbling beneath his skin were starting to become overwhelming. His muscles were tense with the strain of his irritation as he continued to drive. </p>
<p>His eyes happen to catch an upcoming park, unoccupied due to the dark of night. He knows he should take Ian back to the apartment, however he’s starting to feel as if he’s locked in a box, the walls of the van closing in tightly as his blood continues to boil under his flesh. </p>
<p>“We could have just left, like we were supposed to,” Ian says irately, turning his attention back to his window. Barley huffs at this, because there’s no point in trying to argue. Deep down he knows he fucked up, and yet, the fire rages relentlessly as all of his frustrations begin to come to a head. </p>
<p>Without thinking, he pulls off the road, sliding the van into the empty parking lot of the vacant park. He shuts off the engine, leaving the keys in the ignition and turns to look at Ian.</p>
<p>The small elf’s demeanor has changed, umber eyes watching wearily. It’s something Barley tries to shake off, instead he grabs his door handle.</p>
<p>“Take yourself back to my place, I-I’ll be there later,” he mumbles, opening the driver’s side door. Ian shakes his head, confusion replacing the anxious gaze he’d been sporting.</p>
<p>“Wait, what?” He asks, popping off his seatbelt and looking at the older man quizzically. Barley turns back to him, eyes stern and a seriousness to his voice.</p>
<p>“Take yourself back to my apartment, or stay here- I don’t care, just don’t follow me,” he warns, hoping it’s enough for the young wizard to get the hint. Ian just narrows his eyes, brows knitting once more in frustration.</p>
<p>“Are you kidding?” He spits, searching the larger elf for an answer.</p>
<p>“Nope,” Barley says, exiting the van before the smaller Lightfoot can reply. He slams the door, stalking off toward the park, the cool air of nighttime in Spring ghosting against his skin as if trying to cool the liquid fire beneath his flesh. He really has no destination in mind, perhaps he’ll just walk himself into morning.</p>
<p>And yet, the slamming of Guinevere’s door captures his attention, anger resurfacing as he releases a deep sigh.</p>
<p>He should be counting backwards from ten and continuing on his path to nowhere, but his brother’s voice rings out through the night and has the stocky elf halting in his tracks. </p>
<p>“Barley, this is ridiculous!” Ian called after him. Fire rages on within the older Lightfoot as he turns, shooting a glare towards the younger man as he watches the scrawny elf move to catch up with him.</p>
<p>“I told you not to follow me,” he says, eyes ablaze with his anger. Ian straightened, as if to make himself taller, a hard expression on his face.</p>
<p>“You don’t get to just run off,” Ian stated, hands motioning with his words as he spoke, “is this really that big of a deal?” Barley took a step forward, hulking form towering over his younger brother. When he didn’t say anything Ian flared his nostrils, shaking his head in frustration, “I mean- fuck’s sake, Barley, he was just being nice! You’re the one that had a problem,” the smaller elf exclaimed irately, umber eyes darting between hazel flames.</p>
<p>“He wasn’t being nice, Ian, he was trying to get into your pants,” Barley spat. It was beyond him as to how that wasn’t obvious to his little brother, but he shouldn’t be so surprised. Ian’s fallen into a bad habit of trying to see the good in others instead of recognizing them for who they actually are.</p>
<p>That thought should hit home for him, but it doesn’t. He’s done more for his little brother than the younger Lightfoot will ever know.</p>
<p>Still, he crosses his arms defensively, watching the smaller elf fiercely.</p>
<p>Ian just scoffs at that, rolling his eyes angrily before looking back at the older man, “there’s always something, right?” He asks, his tone vexed and a small nod to his head. He doesn’t even allow Barley to answer, which just infuriates the older Lightfoot further, “because Gods forbid someone gives me the time of day,” Ian snarls, taking a step closer as his eyes lowered into dangerous slits of umber fire.</p>
<p>“Gods forbid I actually talk to someone who isn’t you, right? ‘Cuz your world would literally collapse before your eyes because you’re too insecure to let me have an actual life,” the younger Lightfoot shouted, watching as his brother remained unmoving with a hard expression over his face. “First it was Sadalia, now it’s Everett-“ his words were halted by a dark chuckle and an eye roll as Barley shook his head in disbelief.</p>
<p>“The fact that he made you call him, ‘Everett.’ Please, what- did he tell you that it sounds pretty coming from your lips?” The larger elf mocked, moving to rest his hands on his hips. It’s meant to be condescending, because he wants Ian to realize how foolish he was to believe that Rett had any other intentions for him.</p>
<p>“Fuck you, Barley,” Ian spat, a thin line tears beginning to brim his eyes. He swallows thickly, shaking his head and crossing his arms. He turned his head slightly to look away from the older man, drawing his lower lip in between his teeth as he tried to calm his breathing. However, Barley went on, taking another step closer towards the spiteful young mage.</p>
<p>“He did, didn’t he?” Barley sneered, bending to set his hands on his knees to lower himself and looking up to try and meet Iandore’s gaze. The younger man refused to look at him as he continued, “it figures, that’s his usual line for any tight piece of ass that gives him so much as a sideways glance.”</p>
<p> Ian shot the larger elf at glare at that, glassy eyes angry and full of resentment as he watched his brother straighten to stand taller.</p>
<p>“You’re such an asshole,” Ian breathed, shaking his head with misty eyes. Those words struck a cord with the older Lightfoot, the bubbling of overwhelming rage returning to fill his being as he watched the younger man wrap his arms around himself tightly, his eyes transfixed on a flickering street lamp just a few feet away from them.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m an asshole,” Barley nodded, mocking agreement, “I bend at your goddam will without question- keeping you company in school, dropping everything to aid in your comfort after you invaded my privacy, sacrificing my fucking van- but, yeah, you’re right: I’m the asshole,” the older Lightfoot fumed, hitting the back of his hand against his alternating palm as he listed his words irately, finishing with his hands on his hips. His eyes burned holes into the elf before him, anticipating a nasty response.</p>
<p>The young mage merely sniffed, an angry puff of air leaving his lips as his frustration grew. Slowly, he turned his head to peer up at his big brother, his lips tightening as his eyes narrowed.</p>
<p>“Dad ruined you, didn’t he?” Ian said quietly, a single tear running hot down his cheek as his deep doe eyes stared into his brother’s sienna orbs. The older man flinched at that, jerking slightly as he was taken aback before his eyes lowered once more.</p>
<p>“Don’t even start with that,” Barley warned, voice menacingly low. Their father was not a subject to be brought to the table during such an agreement, because it’s only going to agitate the older Lightfoot further. He feels enough like a caged animal as it is, and the line between fight or flight is starting to become a blurry one.</p>
<p>Ian let out a breath, dropping his arms and turning to face his brother head on, almost challengingly. His lip quivered slightly, hands in tight fists that were shaking at his sides.</p>
<p>“I bet he didn’t like it when he wasn’t the center of your universe- I bet it made him angry,” Ian’s voice was calm, yet his eyes were ablaze with the fury he’d long since buried after the incident with Guinevere the Second. His words struck deep within the older man, a soft ring of wetness sitting on the brim of Barley’s eyelids as he watched the younger man. Knitting his brows, he shook it off, reaching to grab Ian by the arm. A gesture the younger elf had long since gotten accustomed to.</p>
<p>“You need to stop right there,” Barley said darkly, searching Ian’s eyes for any sign of fear, but all he saw was the angry resentment and hate that the younger Lightfoot had been trying to mask. The smaller elf scoffed, ripping himself away and gesturing in astonishment.</p>
<p>“Why?” Iandore growled, “ ‘cuz he’s a monster? Well look in the fucking mirror, Barley, ‘cuz you’re no differ-“</p>
<p>Barley doesn’t even think before his hand is moving, landing a hard slap to Ian’s cheek and knocking his head to the side. The younger Lightfoot stumbles, falling to the damp ground below and grabbing the side of his face that had been hit. Frightened eyes shoot up to the other elf’s towering form before the lithe wizard pushes at the dirt with his feet to start moving away, his body cowering as Barley stepped closer.</p>
<p>“I-I’m sorry,” he mumbled, small tremors visibly running up his back. Barley doesn’t take notice of the obvious fear written all over Ian’s face, all he knows is the relief that came with that hit- the weight that leaves him and the anger that begins to dissipate with physically releasing it.</p>
<p>He has a lot of rage though, and his vision is scarlet with the words that would have left Ian’s tongue moments ago.</p>
<p>So, he bends, hands tucking beneath Ian’s arms to yank him up. His vast palms easily cup the sides of the smaller elf’s rib cage as he drags him towards the van. The soles of Ian’s shoes hardly skid against the earth beneath them before Barley shoves him hard into the back side of Guinevere, the young wizard’s back hitting against the cold metal with a loud thunk.</p>
<p>“Wait- Barley, I’m-“</p>
<p>Barley doesn’t hear him over the pounding of his pulse in his ears, his body flying on auto as he raises his hand again and lands another hit against the same cheek, earning a loud whimper from the smaller elf as his head rolled to the side once more. But, the older Lightfoot doesn’t stop there, he brings his hand down yet again to bust Iandore’s lip against his teeth.</p>
<p>Disoriented, Ian starts to slide down the side of the van. Barley catches him, maneuvering the willowy man like a rag doll as he drags him towards the back of the vehicle, sliding one arm around Ian’s torso to support his weight as the larger man reaches with his free hand to open one of the rear doors.</p>
<p>Ian immediately starts to claw at his arm, squirming in his grasp as he tries to find his footing in the dirt.</p>
<p>“No,” he moans, staring tearfully into the back of the van as Barley swings the door open. The older Lightfoot gracelessly lifts the smaller elf and shoves him into the vehicle, climbing inside after him and pulls the door shut as Ian starts to move away.</p>
<p>The young mage is shakily moving to his hands and knees, a trembling hand moving to catch the blood falling off his chin before he tries to push off the floor to move to the front of the van. The larger elf catches him before he can, dragging him back down to the floor of Guinevere.</p>
<p>He throws Ian onto his back, a soft cry leaving the young wizard’s throat as the back of his skull hits the ground painfully. His hands come up defensively, as if he was anticipating another hit.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, please j-just let me go,” he pleads, tears falling from the corners of his eyes. Barley just crawls over him, knocking scrawny thighs apart with his knees before pulling at the button of Ian’s jeans.</p>
<p>Smaller hands shot down to grab onto Barley’s, a soft sob leaving Iandore’s throat as he shook his head.</p>
<p>“Barley-” Ian begs. The older elf narrows his eyes, glaring at the smaller man beneath him dangerously before continuing his ministrations and yanking the young wizard’s pants open. He doesn’t hesitate before grabbing the waistband of Ian’s jeans, yanking them down roughly </p>
<p>He drags the fabric down his little brother’s boney legs, grabbing a hold of each ankle to pop his shoes off and tossing his jeans away. He then returns to his spot between Ian’s legs, grabbing a hold of his waist to pull the small man closer.</p>
<p>Ian shakes his head vigorously this time, bringing his hands up to push at Barley’s chest. His cheeks are stained with tears at this point, small hiccups leaving his lips as he struggled against the older man’s stocky form. The larger elf huffs irately, moving his hands to grab onto his younger brother’s shoulder with an iron grip as yet another wave of anger washed over him.</p>
<p>“Ian, stop!” He shouted, shaking the smaller man in his grasp, fingers curling tight enough into Ian’s flesh to leave bruises.</p>
<p>“I-I don’t w-want you to h-hurt me,” Ian’s trembling in his hands, droplets of crimson staining his white undershirt and painting his teeth as blood runs from the cut on his bottom lip to coagulate on his chin. Teary eyes look up in terror while tiny sobs leave his throat.</p>
<p>It should break Barley’s heart, seeing his brother like this. </p>
<p>It doesn’t, it just fuels his rage, because all Ian had to do was stay in the van - to take himself back to the apartment and let Barley handle his emotions on his own, but he didn’t. He pursued the older man and continued to poke and prod and push. He never listens and he never learns, so Barley has a hard time finding pity in the moment when he peers down at the quivering elf.</p>
<p>With another angry huff, Barley moves his hands once more to the fabric of Ian’s undershirt, pulling the cotton apart violently to reveal soft blue flesh peppered with last night's passion beneath. Iandore shrieks, but Barley just shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Then you should’ve left when I told you to, sweetheart,” he spat, eyes raking over the bites he’d left with satisfaction.</p>
<p>“I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” the younger Lightfoot cries, tears falling freely from his eyes and his breath coming in fast as panic sets in. Barley scowls down at him, moving to place a hand on the floor of the van on either side of Ian’s head to cage him in. Ian flinches hard at the movement, bringing his own hands up protectively before they recede to his tattered shirt to pull the fabric together in an effort to cover himself. </p>
<p>“No,” Barley says darkly, “you wanted an explanation,” his voice rumbles through his chest, venom lacing his tone as he stares daggers into the elf below him, “and this?” He asks, a hand moving down to cup the young mage through his boxers and his eyes watching as the small elf grimaces, thighs squeezing around the older man’s hips tightly at the contact, “this is your explanation. This is what’s fucking wrong with me.”</p>
<p>He removes his hand, curling his fingers into the waistband of Ian’s boxers before shoving them down. He leaned back on his knees for better access, removing the cloth from his brother’s trembling form.</p>
<p>“I mean, you practically said it yourself,” Barley taunts, tossing the fabric away and bending back down to loom over the younger Lightfoot’s body, glossy doe eyes stare sadly into hard embers of amber fire.</p>
<p>“Like father, like fucking son, right?”</p>
<p>Barley’s voice wavers at that and it takes him by surprise. He can’t help the rush of tears that follow, but he swallows them down thickly- not wanting Ian to see him show any signs of weakness.</p>
<p>A single tear does escape the corner of Ian’s eye though, sliding down the bruising side of his face as he watches the older Lightfoot grievously. His bottom lip quivers before he moves to speak, but the larger brother doesn’t want to hear it and places a vast palm over Ian’s lips. </p>
<p>“You really don’t know when enough is enough, do you?” He sneers. The wetness of blood and tears sticks to his hands, small puffs of air from Ian’s nose hitting against his finger as silent cries shake through him. </p>
<p>He’s looking up at Barley almost apologetically now. It’s a look that the older Lightfoot ignores as he shifts his weight onto his knees to bring a free hand up, spitting into it generously and proceeding to hastily prep the smaller elf beneath him. </p>
<p>He can feel Ian’s grimace under his palm, a shaking hand coming up to grab a hold of his wrist as he forces two fingers inside of his younger brother. Unfortunately, they don’t have proper lubricant- Barley had taken everything out of the glovebox after the events of Winterfest. Perhaps the fact that they'd been intimate the night before will make this easier, but the older man can still feel resistance. </p>
<p>He pulls away to spit into his hand once more, adding wetness to the young wizard’s entrance. Ian squirms slightly under him, a soft whimper vibrating against Barley’s palm. </p>
<p>“Just hold still,” the older Lightfoot warns, eyes peering up to watch as the smaller elf froze beneath him, his grip tightening around Barley’s wrist. </p>
<p>Those words are a mantra that lurks in the dark crevices of Iandore’s mind and they have him falling limp, empty eyes finding the ceiling of the van as the larger man unzips his fly and pulls his pants apart. </p>
<p>Blunt nails dig into the older man’s skin as he presses himself against the trembling elf underneath of him. Still, he presses in further, pushing inch after inch of his girth into the taunt ring of muscle. </p>
<p>Ian’s eyes flood with tears before they squeeze shut, hard breaths coming from his nose as soft whimpers emit from his throat. His thighs are absolutely shaking around the older man, but it’s evident that he’s trying to stay still.</p>
<p>Barley swallows the pang of sorrow that blooms in his chest, instead focusing on sheathing himself inside of his little brother. However, the vice like grip around his cock is almost painful, and he himself is shaking against the small form below. </p>
<p>He ignores it, narrowing his eyes and scowling down at the younger elf, hips starting to move in a broken rhythm and the hand over Ian’s mouth squeezing his jaw in frustration. </p>
<p>Ian moans in pain, raking his nails over the skin of Barley’s wrist as his whine is muffled by the older man’s palm. It does nothing to phase the older Lightfoot, his eyes just darken and he leans over Ian’s small form menacingly.</p>
<p>“You did this, you hear me?” Barley growls, thrusting hard and earning another quiet hum of anguish from Ian’s throat, “this ones on you, because you don’t fucking listen.”</p>
<p>The young mage brings a shakey hand to grip Barley’s sleeve tightly, eyes darting every direction but forward as if trying to avoid staring up at his older brother.</p>
<p>Angrily, Barley tears his little hand away, wrapping his fist around his tiny wrist and pinning it to the floor above his head. The older Lightfoot glares down at the trembling wizard, breath coming hard as anger slowly begins to leave his body.</p>
<p>Ian’s eyes finally move to meet Barley’s hazel gaze with deep pools of glassy umber. A stream of tears running down his face as little tremors shake his tiny being. There’s such a sadness behind his stare that the older Lightfoot feels tears well in his own throat as the fog of his rage clears from his mind. His stomach drops and his heart finally breaks into pieces at the sight of his baby brother, battered and bruised- hair disheveled and clothes torn. </p>
<p>All by his own hand.</p>
<p>There’s a mutual understanding that passes through the Lightfoot brothers as their irises lock onto each other and Ian slowly raises his free hand, releasing Barley’s arm and reaching to pass the side of his face to tug his beanie off carefully. </p>
<p>He drops the dark fabric to the floor, reaching higher to weave his thin fingers through the soft azure locks of Barley’s hair. His long digits slide through the unkept strands, his touch a gentle whisper of warmth against the larger man’s skin as his hand moves to cup the spade of the older Lightfoot’s ear. Ian’s thumb traces the sharp shell of it soothingly, like his big brother had done for him so many times.</p>
<p>Barley releases a soft breath of relief at the contact, immediately leaning into the smaller elf’s touch as pain grips his heart. His hand slides away from Ian’s mouth as he dips down, running his arms beneath the young mage to embrace him tightly. His fury having completely washed away as a sullen rush of guilt and sorrow encases him.</p>
<p>“I-I’m so sorry, Ian,” Barley cries softly, his face buried into Iandore’s chest as the younger man glides his hand up to stroke through the stocky elf’s hair once more.</p>
<p>The larger man slides out of Ian limply, feeling his brother's frail body physically relax as he slumps onto the floor. He continues to mutter apologies under his breath, tears falling freely from his eyes and soaking the fabric of Ian’s tattered shirt. </p>
<p>“It-it’s okay,” Ian mutters, his voice tight as it strains in his throat, “I’m right here,” he murmurs quietly. </p>
<p>Barley can’t find words to respond, too many emotions are barreling through him as his hugs Iandore tighter, sniffling against his small chest as he tries to contain his sobs. </p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot just pets his hair softly, his other arm wrapping around the back of the larger elf’s neck to hold him in warm embrace as he slowly unravels against his willowy form. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologize, okay? I-I’m right here, Barley, I promise,” Ian says with a tiny hiccup, playing with loose strands of shaggy locks before his fingers leave his brother's hair to hug the older man tightly with both arms, murmuring softly against the top of Barley’s head. </p>
<p>“You’re safe here with me,”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*sipping from my cup of hot choccy*</p>
<p>So, hate me if you must- BUT</p>
<p>That explosion was kind of necessary for the bois in my opinion?? Obviously Barley is still broken beyond repair and Ian’s coming to the realization that sometimes he has to be the backbone. </p>
<p>-and maybe not mention daddy to DADDY in the midst of an argument, but I mean... that was a pretty Iandore move- </p>
<p>Anyway, I won’t dwell on it too much, there’s still a few chapters to this that delve into how they move past this set back in their relationship... I’m nervous</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Chapter 43</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*cries in over 5000 hits*</p>
<p>That being said, we are vastly approaching the end here my dudes. Like, what a journey</p>
<p>I just hope you’re ready</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Deep umber eyes cast a mindless gaze over the ceiling of Guinevere the Second as if lost in thick silence following the events of the night. In the past, Ian would handle the aftermath in a similar state of blissful emptiness. Barley would clean him up with soft whispers of loving praise and they’d return home. However, the older man was currently curled around the young mage, his breath seeping warmly through the shredded cotton of Iandore’s shirt with tears dampening the fabric against the smaller man’s chest. </p>
<p>Despite this and the hefty weight atop his chest, Iandore couldn’t find the willpower to nudge the older man. Instead, he continued brushing his fingers through his older brother’s hair, caressing the back of his head gently in an attempt to soothe the larger elf as the quiet of night encased them.</p>
<p>With a gentle touch, Ian slides a hand down the older man’s back, rubbing absentminded circles over the stiff fabric of the mighty phoenix patch sewn into the rough denim of his vest. </p>
<p>Eventually, the stocky elf becomes so still with such even breath that had it not been for the vice like grip he had on the fabric of Ian’s deep yellow button up, the young Lightfoot would almost assume he’d fallen asleep. </p>
<p>Still, it feels like hours have passed before Ian takes a deep breath, Barley’s head rising with his chest before he tightens his lips, pushing through the sting that follows the stretch of the cut on his bottom lip.</p>
<p>“Barley?” He says quietly. He can feel the other man tense but it earns him no response. There’s a pregnant pause between the two before the older elf finally moves, empty eyes finding Ian’s tearful gaze.</p>
<p>There’s something that’s disconnected in the pools of amber that makes Ian a little uncomfortable. Barley never shuts down like this. It’s as if he’s completely void of emotion, his movements completely reliant on the behavioral pattern he’d built for himself as he clears his throat and moves off of Ian.</p>
<p>“Should probably get you cleaned up,” he mumbles as he shifts to sit up, adjusting his shorts and zipping his fly before searching the floor for Ian’s discarded clothes.</p>
<p>The younger Lightfoot shakily lifts himself up, sliding back a little as he settles his weight on his hands and pulling his knees to his chest with a quiet sniffle. Barley hands him his boxers and sets his jeans down in front of him. Ian hesitantly takes his undergarments, bending forward to slide his feet through the legs and pulls the cloth up, wincing slightly as he brings the fabric over his rear.</p>
<p>He tries to ignore the sticky wetness, pushing the thought of it to the back of his mind so he can deal with it later.</p>
<p>The small wizard then lets out a shakey sigh as he stares at his jeans, mentally preparing for the pain of tugging on the snug denim before he’s grabbing the fabric. He hardly notices Barley exiting through the back of the van, the young mage lifting his head at the sound of the door and with a look of perplexity. </p>
<p>He doesn’t have time to question his brother before the door shuts. Ian pulls his jeans up carefully, buttoning them as his eyes shift around the back of the van. He turns his head once more to the sound of the driver’s side door opening and watches as the older Lightfoot slid behind the wheel. </p>
<p>Ian slowly pulls himself up, legs weak and wobbling as he steadied himself before reaching for his shoes and grabbing the dark fabric of his brother’s beanie. </p>
<p>With faltering steps, he moves to the front of the van, gently nudging the cloth towards the larger elf. </p>
<p>Barley jumps a little at his touch, yet his stare is blank as he turns to the younger man, eyes landing on the hat Ian’s holding out to him. </p>
<p>“Oh,” Barley says softly, pulling the fabric from Ian’s fingers and tossing it onto the dash. Ian lowers himself into the passenger seat slowly, a hard grimace lacing his features as he tries to settle into the leather cushion. Pain shoots up his spine, but eventually he manages to sit, bending to slide his shoes onto his feet and sitting up with an audible sigh.</p>
<p>He can’t help the anticipation of waiting for Barley to say something- anything, because it’s not like him to be so quiet for this long after the fact. Usually he’d flip like a switch from hulking predator to sweet, protective big brother- something once deemed disturbing by the smaller elf, but seeing him so stoic and lifeless was proving to be even more unnerving. </p>
<p>And yet, nothing. Barley simply turns the key in the ignition and pulls out of the lot, his face a pale sheet of blue grey that’s easily washed out by the greenish glow from the dash.</p>
<p>Seeing his brother this way brings a sense of helplessness to the lithe wizard as realization occurs to him that he has no idea what to do. The older Lightfoot was so evidently lost in the storm brewing within his mind and Ian had no means of reeling him back in. </p>
<p>It’s a devastating truth, because there has to be something that he could say. Then again, his words are what dug this hole they were in. Like the bottomless pit, he fears that speaking will put them in a constant state of falling and that’s not what Ian wants.</p>
<p>After all, it’s better to hit rock bottom and work your way back up, rather than to dance in circles and pray for a different rhythm.</p>
<p>So, with words stuck in his throat, Ian releases a breath of defeat as he closes his eyes, trembling hands stuttering in movement as he rolls his sleeves down from where they were cuffed at his elbow before he carefully turns his head to watch outside the window. His eyes glazing over as he stares mindlessly into the plane of glass.</p>
<p>Barley merely pulls into the lot of the complex, popping his key from the ring and handing it to Iandore. No words need to be exchanged, Ian simply takes the key and allows another small breath before he pushes open the passenger door and slides out of the van.</p>
<p>As soon as he shuts the door, Barley tears out of the lot, tires squealing as they catch on the pavement before he’s gone. Ian just watches as Guinevere disappears down the street, staring longingly for a moment before glancing at the jagged piece of metal in his palm.</p>
<p>Tears blurred his vision as he stared at the small silver key, guilt clawing painfully at his heart as his brother’s words echo in his mind.</p>
<p>“You did this,”</p>
<p>It’s a statement he can only find truth behind, because this is all he had to do. Leave Barley to his own devices and keep his mouth shut. But, as it would seem, Ian has an appetite for self destruction and it’s probably cost him his one chance at rekindling his relationship with his brother. </p>
<p>That thought sends a sharp pain to his heart and he has to fight back the urge to fall to his knees at such a crippling realization. </p>
<p>With a quiet sniffle, he turns, grabbing his shirt to pull it shut as he powers through limping towards Barley’s apartment. He’s thankful that no one really seems to be out, the quiet of night comes as a blessing in these moments as he fumbles with the lock with hands still trembling from the adrenaline that had coursed through his veins during the hour.</p>
<p>The shakey wizard pushes through the door, softly closing it behind him and peering into the dim space of his older brother’s apartment. A hue of copper light washes over the living room and kitchen in a thin veil as it emits from the torch like fixtures decorating the walls.</p>
<p>Ian takes a minute to process his surroundings as he leaned against the door, a misty gaze wandering as he struggled to keep his composure.</p>
<p>They were in a bit of a rush before they left earlier, Ian being the stickler that he was remembered to turn off the lights last minute. Still, a few of Ian’s shirts were strewn over the futon- he couldn’t decide what to wear- and a few empty cans of Mountain Doom scattered across the bar, one that Barley had crushed upon exiting the apartment.</p>
<p>The mess just served as a reminder as to how normal they were earlier, and it plucked at yet another string of Ian’s heart.</p>
<p>The willowy teen pushes off the door easily, kicking his shoes off and setting the key down on the coffee table before slowly making his way to the bathroom.</p>
<p>With the flick of the light switch, Ian peers into a mirror dotted with smudges above the sink. A grimace spread over his face as he watched his own reflection, an image that seemed nearly foreign to him.</p>
<p>Across his left cheek, a plum colored bruise began to settle in the skin that cradled his eye and blossomed back into his hairline. His bottom lip was beginning to swell as the cut lay just between where the plump flesh met it’s upper half and blood stained the top of his chin, even so much as tracing a faint pattern where Barley’s hand had been placed over his mouth.</p>
<p>It’s a sight that makes the lanky elf sick to his stomach, and that’s not even including that state of his clothing.</p>
<p>With a shake of his head, the young mage moves to bend over the sink and turns on the faucet, gathering water in his palms to begin washing the crusted specks of crimson over his chin gently so not to disturb his busted lip.</p>
<p>He proceeds to wash his face, the cold wetness clinging to his skin serving as a comfort to the heat rising from his bruised cheek. </p>
<p>It’s an odd feeling, not having his brother alongside him to help. This isn’t something Ian’s ever had to face alone, but he goes through the motions, his mind numb as he cleans himself up.</p>
<p>He doesn’t bother with a shower, however, he doesn’t have the energy. The sweet relief of a dreamless slumber calls to him as he makes his way towards Barley’s bedroom, his arms wrapped tightly around himself in a means to hold himself together.</p>
<p>He flicks on the light, eyes immediately searching for any article of clothing that may hold his brother’s musky scent. Chocolate orbs fall upon the tried and true Smote hoodie that’s thrown over the end of the bed and he gravitates towards it. He shrugs his open button up off his shoulders as he walks, tugging the torn fabric of his cotton T shirt over his head and dropping both to the floor below as he reaches for the long sleeve.</p>
<p>It brings him a sense of comfort to be swallowed by so much fabric, the heady smell of Barley filling his nostrils as he buried his face in the crook of his own elbow to breathe it in. </p>
<p>Despite the night’s events, despite it being obvious that Barley needed to be left alone, Ian still had the urge to get a hold of him- be it call or text, anything really. He just wanted his brother, because he doesn’t know how to do this- this “aftercare,” or whatever it was. He doesn’t know how to go about facing the stabbing pain between his legs or the ache in his skull, not alone that is. It has him reeling, his body lurching forward as a hard sob finally wracked through his body as he pressed his face further into his elbow to muffle his wails with thick fabric. </p>
<p>It takes a moment for him to compose himself, tiny hiccups leaving his busted lips as he drops his arm slowly, staring ahead at the mattress in front of him.</p>
<p>Afraid of what he may find, Ian doesn’t bother removing his jeans before he’s sliding into the large bed and submerging himself beneath dark covers. He grabs the pillow that Barley keeps under his head, pulling it close in a tight hug while his legs curl up to his chest and his face presses against the plush cushion.</p>
<p>His fists wind so tightly in the flimsy fabric of the pillow case that his knuckles turn white while silent sobs shake through his body once more.</p>
<p>He stays like that for a while, lanky arms wrapped tightly around a large pillow, the wetness from his eyes dampening the fabric against his face until his breathing slows and the dark recesses of sleep encases him in its grasps. Sweet and relenting, the fog of slumber takes him from reality and into the blissful nothingness. </p>
<p>It seems like no time has passed before there’s a soft shuffle about the floor that startles the young mage from his sleep. His eyes open to a dark room, groggily blinking away the tiredness from his eyes as he turns suddenly to make out a familiar figure, stopped in its tracks abruptly as it hesitantly moves about the room.</p>
<p>Ian sluggishly sits up, propping himself on one hand as the other is careful to wipe the sleep from his eyes before realization hits him. </p>
<p>“Barley?” He mutters, voice thick with his exhaustion. The figure goes still, features becoming more recognizable as Ian’s eyes adjust to the dark. There’s a long piece of cloth in Barley’s hands that the lithe wizard can’t entirely make out, however he can see his brother’s body is tense in the way his shoulders are scrunched upwards.</p>
<p>The older Lightfoot relaxes a little, not daring to approach the lanky elf as he drops his gaze to the item clutched in his hands.</p>
<p>“Go back to sleep,” he says quietly, as if his voice is stuck in his throat. Ian shakes his head at that, his heart jumping in his chest with the burst of energy that hits him. He doesn’t even think before throwing back the covers and moving to his feet.</p>
<p>“Wait, I-“ his legs buckle under his weight, and gravity begins to pull him down before Barley is instinctively reaching out to catch him.</p>
<p>“Easy,” Barley says, a gentle hold on Iandore’s shoulders. Tears well in the younger Lightfoot’s eyes as he peered up at the older man through the darkness, emotions overcoming him once again as he wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” he cried. Barley tenses at his touch, pulling back slightly as the small wizard continued to cling to him.</p>
<p>“Ian-“</p>
<p>“I-I don’t know w-why I said those things,” the mage said, his words stuttering through hiccups as he allowed his body to drain itself of its sadness. Barley tossed the item in his hands onto the bed behind Iandore before pulling back to cup the younger Lightfoot’s cheeks in both hands. He tilted Ian’s head so that their eyes could meet, his thumb stroking softly over the unbruised side of the teen’s face to wipe the tears that were falling.</p>
<p>“Hey,” the older Lightfoot murmured, his face so close that the tips of their noses nearly touched, “it’s okay, just- I can’t talk about this right now, alright?” Barley’s voice is shakey, and so unlike himself that Ian has to swallow down the pang that blooms in his chest. His arms slide down the taller man’s shoulders, moving to wrap his spidery fingers around each of Barley’s wrists.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Ian sniffs, leaning into his brother’s touch.  Barley tightens his lips in a weak attempt at a smile, it's more of a look of gratitude as he pulls his hands away from Iandore’s face. The younger man’s palms slid over his brother’s vast hands, holding onto them as the larger elf’s gaze fell.</p>
<p>“Go back to sleep, okay? I’m gonna go shower,” Barley mutters, his voice just louder than a whisper. Ian squeezes his brother’s hands, timidly looking up at the older man.</p>
<p>“Can I join you?” This earns him a quizzical glance before Barley’s dropping his hands and moving past the younger Lightfoot with a shake of his head.</p>
<p>“Ian...” the stocky elf sighed, plucking what Ian now recognized to be a towel from the bed. The lithe wizard swallowed, offering a small shrug as his eyes moved to watch the ground.</p>
<p>“I-I just… I wanna help you, but I just...,” there’s another sting of wetness behind his eyes as a grave feeling came over him, “I don’t know how,” he admits quietly. Everything is still as a beat of silence falls over the elven brothers, Barley’s form is slumped in defeat as he fiddles with the thick cloth in his hands.</p>
<p>“I don’t know either,” he says grievously, eyes searching the floor as if it held the answer. </p>
<p>With a sniff, Ian straightened, staring at his brother apologetically before turning to find the light switch that he assumed Barley must have turned off earlier. </p>
<p>With the ceiling light aglow, the young mage turned back towards his brother, watching as a pain expression fell over Barley’s face as he observed the state of the small wizard. Hazel eyes fell with shame, the taller man refusing to meet Ian’s gaze as the younger Lightfoot approached him. He merely looked up only to stare at the large hoodie hanging heavily off of Iandore’s boney shoulders.</p>
<p>With a dry laugh, a small smile cracked along Barley’s face as he reached out, still unable to make eye contact, “I was looking for this,” he said, grabbing a piece of the front of the sweatshirt and stroking it softly with his thumb.</p>
<p>Ian looked down, allowing a halfhearted chuckle to leave his own lips, “you can have it back- I’ll just steal another one,” he mutters playfully.</p>
<p>“No,” Barley says, brows knitting for a moment, “I-I mean, I’d like it for tonight, but you can hold onto it after.” Ian nodded in understanding, lifting his head to stare at the elf before him. Barley’s hand dropped away from him as his eyes wandered the space of the floor.</p>
<p>Grabbing the older Lightfoot’s hand that fell, Ian tugged him along gently to guide him out of the bedroom.</p>
<p>Upon entering the bathroom, Ian heads straight for the shower, pushing open the blurry glass door and turning the handle so that water can begin pouring out of the wide shower head. He then turns back to Barley, who’s looking at him with a mix of uncertainty and bewilderment. It’s a look the wizard brushes off, approaching his brother carefully and sliding his hands beneath the taller elf’s vest.</p>
<p>He pushes the fabric away from his brother's broad shoulders, heavy denim hitting the tile below with a soft thunk. Slender hands then glide down the length of burly arms, hitting the cuff around Barley’s wrist and gingerly unfastening it.</p>
<p>The spiked bracelet also clunks against the floor as gravity pulls it down, landing at their feet gracelessly. Ian continues to help Barley as the water heats up in the shower, tenderly pulling fabric away from blueish flesh and unmasking the man before him.</p>
<p>Barley helps him as well, albeit begrudgingly. He winces at the bruises speckled about Iandore’s arms and down his chest. The young mage so much as grimaces at the removal of his pants, words go unspoken in reference to the dark stain on the back of his boxers.</p>
<p>The older Lightfoot assists in helping Ian step into the shower, steam rising from the heat of the water cascading from the shower head. The small wizard immediately goes for his bottle of shampoo- of course he brought his own hygiene products from home- as he steps under the stream, allowing the water to run through his hair and douse him completely. Barley’s not far behind him and the younger brother moves from under the water so the taller man can have a turn beneath it.</p>
<p>Ian studies the bottle in his hands for a moment, thinking back to how Barley responded to his touch earlier that night. It gives him an idea and he quickly flicks the cap of the plastic bottle, turning it so he can squeeze out a dollop of pearlescent soap into his palms. He places the bottle back on the shower caddy and looks up at Barley timidly.</p>
<p>“C’mere,” he murmurs. Barley looks perplexed, as if he’s unsure of what the mage is asking of him. With a sigh, Ian elaborates, “this is gonna feel a lot better than your one bar of soap,” he offered in a weak attempt at teasing. His heart sinks when Barley doesn’t come back with a snide remark. Instead, the larger elf just steps forward and reaches behind the shorter man. He grabs Ian’s body wash to pour a generous amount into his and sets the bottle back in place before he tenderly pulls Ian close.</p>
<p>The water hits against Ian’s back as Barley begins lathering the foamy suds against the younger Lightfoot’s flesh, rubbing soothing circles as he makes his way around Ian’s skin. Dull eyes watching the frothy foam intently as if he’s hoping he can scrub away the young mage’s bruises.</p>
<p>The smaller man takes this opportunity of being so close to reach up and massage his shampoo into Barley’s scalp. It earns him a soft hum as the older Lightfoot closes his eyes for a moment, almost in relief as Ian lathers the thin layer of grease from his hair.</p>
<p>Thick brows draw together, the movements of his hands washing Ian’s skin starts to slow as Ian’s work over his scalp. The younger man merely continues his ministrations until he’s satisfied with his work, dropping his hands to Barley’s shoulder so that he can guide the taller man under the stream and begin rinsing the soap from his hair.</p>
<p>Barley rolls his head under the spray of water, eyes still closed as foamy suds are washed away. Ian watched him carefully, running his hand over the velvety feel of his brother’s thoroughly cleaned hair. </p>
<p>The older Lightfoot’s arms wrap loosely around the wizard’s lean frame in an effort to pull him closer. His hulking form looming down to press their foreheads together. </p>
<p>Iandore’s hands fall to cup beneath the taller elf’s ears, deep doe eyes full of worry as he peers up at his brother through wet lashes. </p>
<p>“Barley?” His voice carries just hardly over the hiss of the shower. Misty hazel eyes open to meet his gaze. The emptiness behind his pupils is similar to that of staring down a vacant hallway. It’s so unlike the jovial gaze he once knew, and a piece of Iandore’s heart breaks for his brother.</p>
<p>“Can you wash my hair again?” Barley asks meekly. Ian gives him as much of a smile he can muster through the ache in his chest and reaches for the shampoo without a word.</p>
<p>Tomorrow they could face the events of earlier, tomorrow they could discuss where they stand. But, for tonight, Ian would gladly lather, rinse, and repeat if only to wash away the words he’d used to stain his brother’s skin.</p>
<p>If only.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Chapter 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m just sitting here wondering what I’m going to do with my time after this is finished cuz like</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Holy tomatoes there’s only two more chapters after this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The course of the next few days had been rough to say the least. Barley had been nothing less of a ghost since they’d retreated to bed after their shower. He hadn’t moved much since, which was extremely unsettling to Ian. The day after was understandable, Ian hadn’t moved much himself due to the splitting headache and sharp ringing in his ear that he’d woken up to. He caved a few times and reluctantly would leave the comforts of the mattress to scavenge for pain killers or create a makeshift ice pack if only to relive some of the discomfort of his face. </p>
<p>However when the second morning had rolled around, Ian had managed to slide out of bed with the notions of being a little more productive. He’d tried to get Barley to join him for another shower, even prodded at him for a late breakfast- not that the young mage had had much of an appetite, he just knew they had to start somewhere. But, to no avail. The only response he’d been offered from the older Lightfoot was an empty gaze and a deep sigh through his nose before the gloomy elf rolled over to turn his back to the wizard, tugging the blankets with him and curling in on himself tightly against the wall.</p>
<p>It was currently day three and worry was beginning to sit deeply in the pit of Ian’s stomach. </p>
<p>Of course Barley had gotten up a few times looking like a disheveled mess, but it was nothing short of a trip to the bathroom or the one time where he took what was left of the jug of orange juice back into the bedroom with him. It was always without words, not even so much as a wandering glance to the younger Lightfoot before he’d burry himself back under the dark fabric of his comforter. </p>
<p>It was evident that there was much more to his brother’s trauma than Ian could have ever predicted. And all he could think to do for the older Lightfoot was to check and make sure he was still breathing every few hours.</p>
<p>He had tried to lure the older man out a few more times. The young mage merely on his second attempt of the day, skimming through his brother’s vast collection of movies that lined the shelf of his entertainment center. He was draped in another one of Barley’s hoodies as if he could substitue the deep gray cloth of university attire for his brother’s presence. </p>
<p>It didn’t take him long to pluck a DVD case from the shelf, eyes raking over the cover as he tapped the case thoughtfully against his palm a few times before he pushed himself to his feet.</p>
<p>The rain pattering outside called for movie marathons and he’d hate to let it go to waste.</p>
<p>Gathering his courage, the lanky teen headed towards his brother’s bedroom, approaching the door cautiously and reaching to turn the knob.</p>
<p>“Barley?” Ian says quietly as he pokes his head into the door, the light from the hallway pooling into the bedroom and illuminating the small space just enough that he can see Barley still facing away from the door in a tight ball.</p>
<p>He’s met with silence, unsurprisingly. Still, he steps into the room, leaving the door open behind him as he approaches the bed with feet padding softly against the carpet. He grips the case of the DVD with both hands as he stands in front of the large mattress, watching the presumably sleeping form of his brother.</p>
<p>It’s hard to tell, honestly, except Barley normally snores under his breath when he’s actually asleep and there was no sound to be heard coming from him.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Ian says a little louder, pausing for a moment as he awaited a response. When it was clear he wouldn’t be receiving one he drops his gaze to the film in his grasp disheartenedly, swallowing thickly before he continues, “I thought we could watch a movie.”</p>
<p>There’s a stillness to the room that has the young wizard’s stomach twisting in knots as he rocks timidly on the balls of his feet. He shifts his attention back onto his brother, watching for any indication of movement. Barley remains still, save for his steady breathing that can be seen in the rise and fall of his back.</p>
<p>Ian tightens his lips as his hands drop to his sides, DVD still clutched tightly in one hand, as his shoulders slump in defeat.</p>
<p>“Okay, well, I-I’ll go and put it on and you can just join me in a little while,” he stammers, eyes falling to the floor as emotion starts to build in his chest.</p>
<p>“Or if you wanna stay in bed, that’s okay,” he says with a small shrug, “I just…” He lifts the plastic video case back up, a deep sigh escaping him as he stares at it longingly.</p>
<p>“Just come out when you’re ready,” he murmured, peering up through wet lashes as he fought back a wave of tears. The younger Lightfoot then turns back to the door, a small part of him hoping for Barley’s voice to cut through the silence.</p>
<p>It doesn’t, but Ian decides it best not to bother him anymore and leaves, shutting the door behind him before he wipes at his nose with the back of his sleeve as he sniffs quietly.</p>
<p>He tries not to let the disappointment hit too hard. There’s always a chance that Barley could start to feel better. Maybe hearing the movie playing from the living room, or perhaps catching a glimpse of it on the off chance that he leaves the room for a moment would be enough of an encouragement.</p>
<p>Perhaps the smell of popcorn would rouse him from his slumber, Ian knows he hasn’t eaten much of anything in the past few days.</p>
<p>So, with a newfound determination, Ian moves away from the door. He opens the video case as he walks, pulling the DVD from its place and heading to set it up on the TV. After pressing the disc into his brother’s gaming console, the young mage moves away to the kitchen. Barley had taken the liberty to make sure there were plenty of snacks in the cupboards this time so Ian found himself rummaging through them in search of something quick to make as the movie plays.</p>
<p>He doesn’t get very far, the high pitched chime from his phone charger on the bar capture’s his attention as he pulls a box of popcorn from the cabinet. He curiously sets the box down, reaching for the device and tugging the charger from where it’s plugged at the base of his phone.</p>
<p>*Sadalia: Hey, sorry to bug you I just need those reference slides</p>
<p>Ian blinks for a moment, feeling an inkling of sorrow as he reads over the text notification. He’d all but forgotten about their project. Nevertheless, he quickly accessed his PDF files from his phone and emailed them to his partner quickly.</p>
<p>*Ian: Sorry about that, they should be getting to you via email</p>
<p>He tapped send on his reply, perking once more in surprise at her speedy response. He honestly hadn’t expected further communication, but he was pleasantly surprised. That is until he read over the messages that followed.</p>
<p>*Sadalia: It’s no problem! Editing this thing just gives me an excuse to hide away from my parents and their over enthusiasm when it comes to Tuile</p>
<p>*Sadalia: Anyway, enjoy your Springtide! I’m sure it’s been way more eventful than mine</p>
<p>Ian scoffed to himself at that last message. If she only knew. If she only knew about the events of his Springtide. Reluctantly, he managed to reply with something cheerful, not wanting to drag her down with the weight of his problems. </p>
<p>He’s just setting his phone down when it goes off, this time an incoming call and he has to double take at the caller idea. A dreaded sigh escapes him as chocolate eyes wander the screen. He’ll never hear the end of it if he doesn’t answer, so begrudgingly he accepts the call- forcing his words to air on the side of cheerfulness as he speaks.</p>
<p>“Hey, mom,” he manages, keeping a steady tone with his greeting.</p>
<p>“Hey, sweetie,” Laurel chirps on the other line, ‘I was just checking in while I had service, is everything going okay?’ She asks. Ian swallows the lump in his throat, adjusting his grip on his phone.</p>
<p>“Yeah, we’ve just been busy,” Ian says, the pain of lying to his mother sinking in his chest. He makes a fast decision to pull the topic away form him and his brother, “are you and Corey having a good time up north?”</p>
<p>He can see the eye roll clearly with her dramatic sigh that emits from the receiver, “it’s been raining non-stop,” she groans, “we did get a chance to tour a few of the caves. Your brother’s been oddly quiet about the photos I’ve sent him.” Ian’s heart drops at that, his eyes darting about as he moves away from the counter to start pacing the living room.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s been raining a little bit here too,” he begins, bringing a hand up nervously to slide beneath blue curls at the side of his head and scratching softly, “I-I don’t think Barley’s really touched his phone since I’ve been here though, so…” He hopes it’s enough because lying on the spot with Laurel just doesn’t fly with him. </p>
<p>Laurel hums on the other end, ‘well is he around? You could put me on speaker so I can talk to both of you,’ she said. Ian felt his stomach drop to the floor as he looked around the room in search of an excuse, tonging nervously as the healing cut on his lip.</p>
<p>“Um, he’s in the shower actually,” the young mage blurts, mentally face palming because that’s the least convincing thing he could have come up with.</p>
<p>‘Huh, good for him,’ Laurel says in astonishment. Her tone suggests that she believes him and he lets out a small breath of relief. He crosses one arm over his chest as his shoulders slump forward, still pacing mindlessly across the floor.</p>
<p>“I know,” he agrees, trying to offer a lighthearted chuckle but it comes out much drier than he’d like.</p>
<p>He can make out an uproarious voice in the background that pulls his mother’s attention from his weak attempts at a laugh, a soft giggle leaving her own lips as it flowed through the receiver. Ian sees this as an out, swallowing quickly before he speaks.</p>
<p>“Well, I won’t keep you and Corey,” he begins, moving to a standstill in front of the coffee table, “try not to get rained out, okay?”</p>
<p>‘Oh,’ Laurel says in a mix of surprise and disappointment, ‘alright, honey, just keep me in the loop of how you two are doing.’ </p>
<p>“Yeah, I will,” Ian nods, adjusting his grip on the device against his ear.</p>
<p>‘I’ve heard that before,’ Laurel says with unamusement. It has the younger Lightfoot dropping his head in shame as his eyes fall to the floor. The wizard’s heart plummets at those words as the sheer anguish of being so dishonest with his mother stabs at him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” he tries to sound playful, “I’ll let Barley know you called.” There’s more commotion on the other line, he can hardly make it out but it’s definitely Corey calling after his mother in an excited manner. It pulls a joyful chuckle from the elven woman before she turns her attention back to her youngest.</p>
<p>“Alright- Corey says hi, and send your brother my love. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Laurel breathes happily, talking through her amusement. </p>
<p>“Yep, I will- love you mom,” Ian says shortly, wanting nothing more than to hang up so that he can put an end to his torment.</p>
<p>‘Love you too-‘ the words aren’t even out of her mouth before he’s tearing his phone from his ear and ending the call. It’s something she’ll without a doubt bring up later, but he can’t help himself. </p>
<p>A shuddering breath escapes him as his eyes close with his sigh. The young mage tosses his phone onto the coffee table gingerly, moving to run both hands through his hair as the stress of his mother eats away at him.</p>
<p>His palms slide over his face as he brings them back down from his hair, only to remind him of the physical evidence of his and his brother’s quarrel.</p>
<p>It has his breath catching slightly as his mind begins to race. There’s no way the purplish bruise staining his cheek would be faded enough by the time he returns home, and he vaguely wonders what kind of excuse he could offer his mother that’d be most believable.</p>
<p>He ran into a door? He took a nasty fall? They got mugged? None of those were sufficient enough, nothing he could think of could get past his mother’s intuition.</p>
<p>Dropping his hands in defeat, Ian made his way to the couch, plopping down and staring numbly ahead at the opening credits of the fantasy flick he’d selected for him and his brother to watch.</p>
<p>It hurt to think that this was a mess he’d created, and yet, here he was. Struggling to fit the pieces back together as his world shattered around him. It left him with a stomach churning ache as that helpless feeling came over him once more.</p>
<p>With a muted exhale he sat back against the futon, slumping into the cushions. These were things he couldn’t allow his mind to fixate on, it only left him with a tightening sensation in his chest and he’d rather not face it. But deep down, he knew something had to change. And that feeling of uncertainty when it came to pondering over possible outcomes of that something was in itself very suffocating.</p>
<p>The young wizard tries to avert his attention elsewhere, pulling his knees to his chest and focusing on the screen. He has his ears trained on listening for any movement coming from his brother’s bedroom, but it null.</p>
<p>He sits like that through a few more films, hours ticking by, rain tapping quietly on the window. Still, he waits until the sun sets outside and his eyelids are heavy before he allows defeat to add itself to the long list of emotions already simmering beneath his flesh.</p>
<p>Ian’s sure to turn everything off, making his way through the darkness of his brother’s apartment before finding the door to the older Lightfoot’s bedroom. </p>
<p>He moves sullenly across the floor, silence ringing in his eardrums as yet another reminder of what he’s done to the somber elf that hasn’t moved an inch since he’d visited the room earlier.</p>
<p>Upon approaching the bed, Ian carefully slid under the covers to settle into the spot next to his brother, maneuvering himself easily so not to disturb the older man. He moved a little closer, pressing himself against his brother’s form and soaking up the heat that radiated from the larger elf. </p>
<p>He nuzzled his face against the older Lightfoot’s back, lifting a hand to trace tiny patterns between Barley’s shoulder blades as a lump formed in his throat.</p>
<p>“I spoke to mom today,” he says, voice carrying softly. He wasn’t sure if Barley was even awake, but if attempting communication could grant him a reaction from his older brother that would be enough.</p>
<p>“She sent you some pictures,” he chirps quietly,  hoping that a cheerful tone might spark something within the other elf. Still, there’s nothing and it sends a pang to the young wizard’s heart.</p>
<p>“We can look at them tomorrow,” he continues, fighting back the tears that are beginning to swell behind his eyes. His hand goes still against Barley’s back as he presses closer so that his ear is resting against the larger man. The faint drum of the older Lightfoot’s heartbeat can be heard softly in his chest as slow, even breaths rise and fall against Iandore’s cheek.</p>
<p>With a small sniff, the young mage wraps an arm over Barley’s wide torso, curling his legs so that they slid into place behind his brother’s knees in an attempt at spooning the taller man. Really, it would have been quite comical had it not been for the circumstances given their apparent size difference. Regardless, Ian just wanted to be as close to his big brother as possible.</p>
<p>Discouraged by the lack of response, Ian squeezes his eyes shut, lowering his face so that his forehead is now pressed between the older elf’s shoulder blades. A few tears manage to leak through the cracks of his eyes, however he manages to keep his voice from wavering as he speaks once more.</p>
<p>“We can look at them if you’re feeling up to it,” he mutters, one hot tear rolling over the bridge of his nose to fall onto the mattress under his head, “I think you’d like them.” </p>
<p>The mage is quiet for a few moments, unable to halt the tremors that shake through his frail body as a deep pain grips his heart. Even though Barley is right there in his arms it feels as if he’s so far away, and the pain of losing his brother is like that of losing a limb.</p>
<p>He doesn’t allow himself to dwell on it for long, the ach in the back of his throat hurts too much for him to let such thoughts invade his mind. Instead he gives a small sniff, letting his arm slide away from the older man. His touch lingering for a moment.</p>
<p>“G’night, Barley,” he whispers in a broken riff that’s muffled into the thick threads of his brother’s hoodie. </p>
<p>There’s a slight pause in the rhythm of Barley’s breathing that goes just unnoticed by the smaller man, as if he’d silently been taken aback by the pain etched in Iandore’s voice. Still, he doesn’t move and Ian slowly shifts to turn away from the lifeless elf as he curls in on himself.</p>
<p>The mage squeezes his eyes shut once more in an attempt to will away the throbbing in his heart.</p>
<p>It feels like hours pass before he begins to doze, unable to keep the exhaustion at bay. He nearly succumbs to the darkness of his slumber before there’s movement beside him- a soft shift in the mattress that has him jerking from his resting state in surprise. Vast, muscular arms snake around his incredibly frail waist to pull him back against a thick barrel chest as the older Lightfoot silently curls himself around the little elf, burying his nose in unruly curls and holding Ian tightly.</p>
<p>No words need to be exchanged as Ian slides his arms over the top of Barley’s, soaking in his warmth as a small breath of relief leaves his nose.</p>
<p>Sleep comes to him easier this way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What’s that? A glimmer of hope, mayhaps?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Chapter 45</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not gonna lie, I’ve been stalling a little bit</p><p>I’m not even ready like, one more chapter???</p><p>Wow, time flies when your life is consumed by gay elves<br/>(kidding, I’m an adult with responsibilities- but for the most part, wow I’ll have so much more time to fixate on gay elves)</p><p>Anyway, here’s to 45, hope you kids enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The warm embrace of strong arms pulled Ian from his slumber slowly, heavy limbs coiled around his sinewy form as if he’d slip from their grasp. The young mage had to blink a few times to clear the fog of sleep from his vision. </p><p>His face was pressed against Barley’s chest, the top of his head tucked beneath the older elf’s chin as if he were a stuffed animal the older Lightfoot had been clutching in his sleep. Nevertheless, the willowy man nuzzled closer, releasing a tired sigh through his nose as his heavy eyelids fell shut once more.</p><p>There was something so calming about being tangled in his brother’s limbs that made him feel a sense of safety. As if the older man’s embrace was a place of sanctuary from the spindly claws of reality.</p><p>A strenuous yawn came over him suddenly, the small elf unable to suppress the urge as his jaw fell open and deep breath escaped him along with a quiet hum that emitted from his throat.</p><p>“T’was quite the yawn there, Iandore,” came the rumble of his brother’s heavy baritone, the vibrations of his voice in his chest easily felt against the younger Lightfoot’s cheek.</p><p>The mage perked at this, his heart jumping in his throat not having heard so much as a peep from his brother in days. Ian threw his head back in surprise, doe eyes catching onto the larger man’s face in mild shock.</p><p>From what he could make out in the low lighting of the room, Barley’s eyes were still closed, his face relaxed. Ian could make out quite a bit of stubble that had gone unmanaged throughout the course of the week and hair disheveled against the pillows.</p><p>“You’re alive,” he said quietly in astonishment. It was the only thing he could think to say considering his brother’s lifelessness as of late. There was a small smirk that pulled at Barley’s lips, an amused hum emitting from his throat.</p><p>“Unfortunately,” the stocky man mumbled. Ian made a face at that, drawing his brows together in disdain. </p><p>“That’s not funny,” he muttered, umber eyes darting over Barley’s face. The older man arched a brow in amusement, stretching his eyelid over his still closed eyes. </p><p>“It’s a little funny,” he said, face relaxing once more. Ian let out a small huff through his nose, brushing that comment aside.</p><p>“You feeling any better?” The smaller Lightfoot inquired. Barley gave a soft hum, tightening his arms around the lithe wizard.</p><p>“‘M tired,” he mumbled. Ian blinked a few times, sputtering in exasperation.</p><p>“How could you possibly be tired? You’ve practically been in a coma for like three days,” he said, dumbfounded. It was Barley’s turn to jerk in surprise, amber eyes finally popping open as he stared down at the elf in his arms.</p><p>Ian returned the gaze, a wave of relief washing over him at the sight of his brother’s warm hazel irises. They weren’t nearly as vacant as they had been the last time he’d looked into them, there was a small glimmer of light behind the older man’s pupils that gave Ian a sense of hope.</p><p>“It’s been three days?” Barley gawked.</p><p>“Give or take,” Ian chuckled dryly. He couldn’t begin to describe the feelings taking over him at the sheer relief of hearing and seeing his brother as much more himself. The overwhelming weight he’d been carrying throughout the week had finally been lifted from his shoulders and tears began to surge in his eyes.</p><p>Barley seemed to notice because he donned a look of concern as the young mage became a sniffling mess.</p><p>“Ian?” The larger elf asked carefully, mild confusion lacing his tone. Ian reached up to grab a small fistful of the older man’s hoodie, dropping his gaze from his big brother as emotion consumed him.</p><p>“I-I’ve been t-trying to nudge you a-and,” his voice faltered as a heavy sob broke through him but he did his best to keep going, “I-I don’t know, I thought I broke you and I was scared-“</p><p>“Hey, no,” Barley said, shaking his head as he brought a hand to slide behind the base of Ian’s skull as he curled around the small wizard, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone like that.”</p><p>Ian merely buried his head in the taller man’s broad chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt tightly and allowing his body to relieve itself of the tension that had been building all week. </p><p>Barley’s thumb tenderly stroked the shell of his ear as he patiently waited for the woeful elf to calm down, turning his head to murmur into cues of curly hair.</p><p>“Shh, you’re okay,” he soothed, pressing a small kiss against Iandore’s skull. The younger Lightfoot shook his head at that, breathy hiccups pushing past his lips as he continued to cry. </p><p>Barley pressed his face into the layers of Ian’s hair as he proceeded to gently caress the smaller man’s pointed ear. He perks up a little before he moves suddenly, not too quickly though, just a small shift to slide his hand beneath the pillows- feeling around like he was searching for something. </p><p>“I believe you mentioned something about mom sending some photos?,” Barley said calmly, pulling his phone from under the pillows, “it’s probably some ancient hieroglyphs from the Capacious Caves. That sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it?”</p><p>Ian sniffed, lifting a hand to dry his face as he managed to ease the flow of his tears. There was a small part of him that found a bit of relief to know that his brother had been listening to him over the course of the week. That perhaps his efforts had even helped to brighten Barley’s spirits.</p><p>He offered a small nod, doe eyes like pools of liquid umber as he watched a small smile creep across Barley’s face. The older man slid an arm beneath the scrawny wizard, maneuvering him so that he could fit into the crook of the stocky elf’s arm as Barley shifted onto his back. </p><p>“There,” Barley said to himself as he situated the two. Ian carefully rested his head against the soft pectoral of his brother’s chest, slowly shifting so that there wasn’t much pressure on his face. </p><p>The older Lightfoot lifts his phone, the screen illuminating a wash of pale light against the elven brothers. There’s several notifications and Barley grimaces, eyes scanning over them quickly. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess it has been three days, huh?” He says, more to himself but Ian just hums quietly in response as his own eyes shift over the screen. He notes the time, astonished to find it still rather early in the morning considering how late he’d gone to bed the night before.</p><p>His eyes then catch onto a text banner with a name that has his stomach flopping, cautiously lifting his gaze to watch his brother’s reaction with a nervous anticipation. </p><p>Barley’s face melts into a scowl with a small scoff, “oh look, an apology from Knolling Fucking Hills himself- if you can call it that,” he grumbles under his breath as his thumb slides to ignore the message. It’s Ian’s turn to grimace as the pad of his finger moves to trace the lettering of Barley’s hoodie.     </p><p>“He’s kind of an asshole, isn’t he?” Ian mumbled, though he tries not to let his mind wander over the events of that night. </p><p>“Yeah, he’s really lucky I didn’t break his teeth,” Barley huffed, pulling up the messages from their mother. The harsh tone of Barley’s voice sent chills down Iandore’s spine, the lithe elf subconsciously pausing the movement of his hand and shrinking away slightly.  </p><p>It was enough for the older Lightfoot to take notice, his features immediately softening as he set his phone in his chest and moved to pull Ian closer with the intention of calming him down. </p><p>All Ian sees is a hand coming towards him and he flinches reflexively. Barley’s never recoiled so fast, his heart plummeting at the sight of his little brother cowering away from his touch. </p><p>“Oh, Ian…” he says mournfully, a look of sorrow behind his eyes. The younger Lightfoot shook his head though, moving back to his place at his brother’s chest. </p><p>“I-I’m okay, you just moved too fast-“</p><p>“No, Ian…” Barley gently lifts the smaller man, pushing him to the side as he moves over him in an effort to leave the bed. Ian stops him, wrapping his stringy arms around the taller elf’s neck and holding tightly.</p><p>“Please don’t go,” Ian whimpers, face buried in the fabric of Barley’s hoodie. The larger man sighs, one hand coming up to support Ian’s weight on the small of his back.</p><p>“I’ve gotta take you home soon, Ian” Barley says after a quiet sigh. The mage shook his head defiantly against the quest master’s shoulder, tightening his arms around the base of Barley’s neck.</p><p>“No,” he mutters, voice muffled by cotton. </p><p>“Ian-“</p><p>“I wanna stay,” the teen insisted, his hands fist tightly into his brother’s shirt as if he’d lose him if he were to let go.</p><p>“Iandore,” </p><p>Ian rips his head away from where it was pressed against the older Lightfoot, hardened doe eyes peering up through wet lashes to meet with hollow sienna orbs.</p><p>“Three days,” he breathes, a single jewel of wetness leaving the brim of his eye to run down his plum splotched cheek, busted lip quivering slightly as he grips the cotton of Barley’s sweatshirt, “you left me for three days.”</p><p>His words paint a grimace over Barley’s face, hazel hues of saddened irises becoming crystalline with the pain etched in the young sorcerer’s voice.</p><p>“I know,” the quester mutters, laying them down against the mattress so he can melt against the younger man. Without much of a second though, Ian’s hands leave their place of being entwined in fabric to weave through the feathery locks at the sides of Barley’s head below the lobes of his ears. He lifts his brother’s head from where he was resting his forehead against the teen’s protruding collar bone to mold their mouths together, just a tender press of his lips against the larger man’s.</p><p>There’s a moment of resistance from Barley before he’s cupping the side of Iandore’s face and sliding their lips to fit together more comfortably. The pull apart for a moment, the strain of emotion in Ian’s voice sending a fresh pang to the older Lighfoot’s chest.</p><p>“You left me all alone,”  Ian whimpers, another tear sliding down the side of his face as his emotions finally come to a head. Barley sniffs, tears forming behind his own eyes as he presses a kiss to the sinewy elf’s chin, dipping down to pepper his lithe neck with the gentle touch of his lips.</p><p>“I know, baby, I’m so sorry,” Barley murmurs, the unmanaged stubble of his jaw scratches softly against Iandore’s flesh as he drags his affections back up, “I’m here now,” he says in a whisper as he moves to mold their faces together once more.</p><p>His thumb strokes softly against the unbruised cheek of his little brother, catching a stray tear to wipe it away as their lips move together in a passionate melody of soft, wet smacks that emit quietly from where they pull apart and come back together.</p><p>Ian merely clutches the taller man tightly, as if to ground himself, peeling his lips away from Barley’s once again, “you’re trying to take me home- trying to leave me again,” the small elf cries. Hazel eyes full of sorrow open to stare down at the trembling form below before dipping back down for another quick peck.</p><p>“I gotta think about what’s good for you, sweetheart,” Barley insisted, his lips ghosting over the skin of Ian’s cheek. Ian whined at this, his fingers threading through the thickness of Barley’s hair as he shook his head in defiance.</p><p>“No,” the willowy teen said stubbornly, bending forward off the mattress to capture Barley’s mouth with his own, his tongue darting out for a taste before dragging his teeth along the flesh of his big brother’s bottom lip.</p><p>The taller man pulled back with a groan, half lidded eyes of fiery sienna peering down at the smaller form beneath him, “hey-“</p><p>“I wanna stay,” Iandore mewled, sitting up to follow the older elf as he tried to move away, pulling the man back down as he wrapped his lanky arms around Barley’s neck once more.</p><p>“Ian...” the older Lightfoot breathed, bracing his weight on one arm as he fell back gently over Ian.</p><p>“Please,” the young mage whispered, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes as if to fight back more tears.  Barley let out a deep sigh, eyes falling shut as he carefully shifted to pull Ian closer with the arm he slid beneath the smaller man. He then adjusts his other hand above Ian’s head so that he can stroke the fine coils of hair atop the younger Lightfoot’s head.</p><p>“We really shouldn’t be around each other right now,” Barley mumbles, lifting his head from where their foreheads are connected to dip down lower to press another tender kiss to Iandore’s cheek.</p><p>“Well, I think we need each other now more than ever,” Ian huffs, sinking his hand down to grab the side of Barley’s hood to keep him close. The older Lightfoot is quiet for a moment, breathing in the gentle scent of his little brother. Perhaps the young mage had a point, but Barley knew that Ian needed time to heal both physically and emotionally before they could even begin to try and move on from this and he couldn’t do that in the place where trauma was inflicted.</p><p>“You at least owe me the stars,” Ian says meekly, his voice a tight whisper that barely reaches the larger man’s ears. It pulls at the strings of his heart, and he can’t refuse when Ian sounds so small.</p><p>Reluctantly, Barley caves, breathing a soft sigh against the tiny wizard’s skin, “fine, stars tomorrow and then I take you home.” </p><p>Ian slumps against him in defeat, as if he realizes that it’s pointless to argue.</p><p>“Okay,” he mumbles, hand falling away from Barley’s hood to rest on his boney chest. The older Lightfoot offers a weak smile before he nuzzles against the young sorcerer, pressing more kisses against his skin. Ian squirms under him, leaning away from his touch with a hum of disapproval.</p><p>“Quit it, you’re all scratchy,” the scrawny elf grumbles, referring to the unkept state of his brother’s facial hair. With a small spark of amusement, Barley grins down at the smaller man deviously.</p><p>“Am I?” He says devilishly, swooping down to rub his face against Ian’s. Immediately, Ian turns to move away, a feat proven difficult when Barley had him caged between his elbows.</p><p>“Yes, and you’re heavy,” Ian complains with a light hearted giggle as he tossed and turned beneath the larger elf. Teasingly, Barley plopped down against his junior, still holding his weight slightly but allowing enough of his mass to rest against the young Lightfoot to keep him pinned.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” Barley says in mock oblivion. A strained huff of air leaves Ian’s throat as he’s crushed against the mattress, shaking hands delicately pressing against the quest master’s shoulders as a glint of panic crosses his face.</p><p>“Okay-“ he says in a labored breath, “really, you gotta move,” he mutters anxiously. Barley’s face drops immediately, receding away from the mage quickly to fall back against the mattress beside him.</p><p>“Sorry,” he mumbles, allowing Ian to compose himself for a moment before the sorcerer is climbing back over the taller man to rest his head against the soft pectoral of Barley’s chest.</p><p>“I-It’s okay, I’m just gonna need some time,” Ian says quietly. Barley reaches to pull the lanky teen in his arms once more, breathing a soft sigh before snuggling against Ian’s hair.</p><p>“I understand,” he murmurs. Ian lifts his head, eyes shifting about before he reaches for Barley’s phone.</p><p>“I’d still like to look at those photos,” he mumbles. Barley gives a weak smile, taking the device from his hand with a small nod.</p><p>Unlike the morning’s lightheartedness, the rest of the day to follow was pretty tense to say the least. For a while, Ian followed the older Lightfoot like a little shadow, as if he were afraid to let Barley out of his sight for too long. Despite the need to be as close to the other as possible, the Lightfoot brothers were able to come to an agreement that no more than cuddling was to transpire between them for the rest of Springtide. The passionate embrace they shared in the hours of day break shouldn’t have happened, they’re both much too fragile to risk digging a deeper hole. The older Lightfoot had thought it wise to cease all physical contact, but he could see that Ian was struggling to get past the hurt of his lonesome and that being held was the reassurance that he needed from his big brother.</p><p> It was endearing enough, and Barley couldn’t find it in him to complain as Ian continuously nuzzled against him in the moments where they’re sitting docile. </p><p>At other times, the burly elf would catch a glimpse of Ian with a faraway look in his sad doe eyes that drove a knife deep into the muscle of his heart. As if the young mage was lost in his own mind, caught in a vicious game of tug a war between relishing in his older brother’s attention and coiling away from him. </p><p>It was painful, and the elven brothers were stuck walking on eggshells around each other, unable to slip past the unease of the thick tension that built walls between them. </p><p>Had Ian not been so adamant on viewing the vernal meteor shower, Barley’s sure he’d have been more insistent upon driving the small wizard back to New Mushroomton. </p><p>“I’ve just really been looking forward to this,” Ian said forlornly, sitting cross legged on the floor as he folded clothes into his duffel bag. </p><p>“Yeah, but I know how you feel about.. the van,” Barley had mumbled, scratching the back of his head as his eyes darted around in search of his beanie. Something he’d later remember was still in the dash of Guinevere.  </p><p>Ian had offered him a small shrug, face crestfallen, “it’s just a van at this point,” he’d mumbled. Barley had only given him a small nod in return. Maybe it was he who had more of a quarrel with it rather than his sibling, regardless, he eventually had given in. </p><p>When it came time, the drive to the area Barley had previously been enthusiastic about was an uncomfortable one. The town of Stonemead itself is littered in giant rock formations, towering boulders that encased the city. A product of years of weathering and erosion that helped to shape the unique township.</p><p>Most of the gaps between the formations had been filled over time with houses and businesses that are tightly compact within the given space. However, there were small valleys on the outskirts of the town perfect for such a stargazing event on account of being away from the pollution of city lights.</p><p>In reality, the destination in which Barley had talked about was only a mere twenty minute drive from town, nevertheless, the older Lightfoot was afraid the seclusion would put his younger brother at unease. If it had, the younger man certainly didn’t show it, instead he acted almost numb, sitting quietly in the passenger seat like nothing had happened. </p><p>Even upon arrival, parked in a vacant valley encased in boulderous walls of heavy stone and illuminated only by the phantom glow of their two moons, Ian simply unbuckled his seat belt and headed for the back of the van with the intentions of opening the rear doors so they could look out at the sky above.</p><p>“Hey, we don’t have to stay in here,” Barley said, watching as the young mage moved from his seat.</p><p>“I don’t feel like stargazing on wet grass,” Ian muttered, returning to his actions of moving to the hollow space of the van. Barley sighed, giving a nod in understanding before grabbing his hat off the dash to slide it over his head. He then pushed the driver’s side open, moving around the vehicle to open the back doors where his brother already sat expectantly. He moved over, allowing a spot for Barley to settle down</p><p>There was a chill that hung in the air, still brisk from the rain that had past through. The cool kiss of spring was carried with the wind to whisper against elven flesh, the older Lightfoot unphased by the cold and the younger wrapping his arms around himself tightly in attempts to shield himself from it.</p><p>There’s no words that pass between them for a while, two pairs of eyes merely watching the star freckled sky with patience as they await a shower of stellar light.</p><p>It’s Ian who breaks the silence, timidly shuffling closer with a soft clearing of his throat, “can I..?” he mumbles with uncertainty, reaching for Barley’s hand with his own. The larger Lightfoot offers a weak smile, moving his palm face up to Ian can weave his spidery fingers between his. The younger man offers a soft squeeze, lips tightening in a crestfallen smile before he falters for a moment.</p><p>“We’re gonna have to talk about this eventually,” he says disheartedly. Barley lets out a sigh, shoulders drooping as he studies their entwined hands.</p><p>“Probably, yeah,” he mutters, the soft shuffle of foliage dancing in the breezes offers some relief to the heaviness radiating between them as they pause for another moment of silence. This too, is short lived as the older brother tightens his hold on Iandore’s hand as his face contorts into an apologetic grimace.</p><p>“Sorry I ruined your spring,” he whispers, as if speaking too loud would disrupt the rustling leaves around them. Ian merely shrugs, angular shoulders falling slightly as cracked lips pull sideways.</p><p>“S’okay, I’ll have more springs,” the mage murmurs, eyes falling to the ground for a moment, “but you know there is a way you could make it up to me,” he says quietly. Barley arches a brow, forlorn hazel eyes searching the willowy teen for answers as he ponders.</p><p>“Yeah?” He inquires, almost hesitantly.</p><p>“Yeah,” Ian nods, lifting his gaze to meet his brother’s, “you could talk to mom,” he suggests. Another quiet pause passes, the pit of Barley’s stomach dropping as those words hit his ears.</p><p>He’s given Ian the option before, it’ll always stand, but he never expected it’d come to fruition. Not when Iandore had always been so insistent that it’d break Laurel’s heart. So, he was a little taken aback, but he couldn’t find it in him to blame the young mage. </p><p>He simply nodded, head turning to look mindlessly ahead as his mind raced to the possible outcomes of that conversation.</p><p>“Um, i-if that’s what you wanna do,” he stutters, eyes catching a soft beam of light that moves across the dark indigo blanket of sky- the beginning of their vernal event.</p><p>“I mean, talk to her about dad,” Ian corrects, chocolate irises still trained on the quest master. Barley turns to him suddenly, brows knitted in confusion before he shakes his head in refusal.</p><p>“Don’t you think it’s like, I dunno, eighteen years too late for that?” He huffs, feeling a small breath of relief wash over him along with the minor frustration of their father that relentlessly ate away at him. The younger Lightfoot shook his head.</p><p>“Look,” Ian began, moving to rest his head against the ball of Barley’s shoulder as his ankles crossed from where his feet dangled outside the van, “I’ve been thinking, and I feel like… maybe it’ll give you some closure to tell mom about what happened,” the wizard explains, keeping a calm tone to his voice as he spoke.</p><p>Barley couldn’t help the eye roll, meaty hand sliding away from Ian’s as he moved to stand. His eyes grazed across the spacious clearing, tracing dark silhouettes of rocky pillars.</p><p>“I already had closure,” he huffs, arms crossing over his chest defensively.</p><p>“If you’re talking about ‘saying goodbye,’ then I have to disagree,” the quiet timber of Ian’s voice calls from behind. It has a quiet scoff emitting from the taller elf’s throat as he shakes his head.</p><p>“Yeah, why’s that?” Barley grumbles, gaze wandering upward as another milky stream of light darts overhead.</p><p>“Cuz, that’s when you started… forcing me,” there’s a small break to Ian’s voice with that -the statement alone was enough to pierce the older Lightfoot’s heart- but hearing that anguish, it had him turning to meet his little brother’s gaze. Umber eyes glittering with the reflection of a thousands stars and a crystalline wetness that struck such a cord within the quester. And yet, there was no malice, no anger, just a deep seeded sadness behind hollow doe eyes.</p><p>With a small shake to his head, Ian continued, swallowing thickly as a delicate hand reached up to grab one of the strings of his hoodie, “it’s okay though,” he breathed, “I’m not mad, not anymore. I understand that you lost something when you were little that you’ve been trying to take back with me, but maybe- maybe talking to mom’ll help you start to move on and you won’t feel the need to do that anymore.” Ian pauses thoughtfully, a thin wash of pale light glides across his tiny form as the sky becomes more active above them.</p><p>“I just… I can’t heal until you do,” the young mage says quietly, eyes moving once more to catch doleful hazel as he anticipates a response. Barley releases a sigh, hands dropping to his sides as he moves to return to his spot next to his brother. Ian’s already back at his side as he sits, a gentle hand rubbing tenderly behind his back.</p><p>“What about what’s happened between us?” The older Lightfoot mutters, feeling the pull of emotion tugging in his chest.</p><p>“I want it to stay between us,” Ian says softly, “cuz I don’t think it’ll do either of us any good.” His hand falls away slowly, reaching to grab Barley’s once more in a reassuring hold, “something has to change though, and I feel like it has to start with you. You owe me that much.”</p><p>Barley turns, a sad smile donning his face once more as he slides his hand away to throw his arm over Ian’s shoulder and pull the young wizard closer. He wasn’t sure how much good was to come of discussing the abuse he’d endure in his youth with Laurel, but part of him was tired of carrying that weight alone. So, with a small nod, the older Lightfoot pulled his beanie from his head as his lips tugged in a lighthearted smile. He turns to hook the dark fabric over the cap of Ian’s skull, flattening his heavy curls with a playful glint behind his eyes.</p><p>“Maybe you’re right,” he agrees, offering a small warning, “ but, I’m going to be a mess the entire time.”</p><p>“I think that’s a given, but we’ll do it together, okay?” Ian assures as he grabs the hem of the beanie, returning a gentle smile as he adjusts the hat on his head, “and this is mine now,” he says with a weak chuckle. Barley laughs, nudging the younger man carefully.</p><p>“It looks better on you anyway,” he murmurs. The willowy teens let out another small laugh, nuzzling once more against his brother’s shoulder as he finally peered up at the active sky ahead of them, voice hopeful as he watches beams of luminescence begin to shower the sky in a radiant glow.</p><p>“You know, I think we’re gonna be okay,”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Chapter 46</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, we’re really at the end here huh?</p><p>I guess all I can say is thank you so much for reading, it’s been quite a ride and ending this has been pretty bittersweet.</p><p>That being said, I hope you enjoy this final chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ruby hinted irises of chocolate brown watch languidly as tufts of puffy white clouds roll by, carried across the sky on a gentle breeze. The mellow warmth of early June a mere whisper against soft blue skin. Beneath him, a soft blanket acting as a divide between the elven brothers and the cool metal truck bed where they lay. </p><p>The afternoon sun peaked from its hiding spot in the clouds, offering a friendly ray of golden light to speckle through the canopy of surrounding trees.</p><p>Barley had found this spot a while back, tucked away in the more overgrown areas of the park, it was a common place for the two to find themselves relishing in the pleasant weather that came with the end of spring.</p><p>“We can go whenever,” came a soft murmur from the older Lightfoot brother. Ian turned his head, peering up at the older man from where he was tucked in the crook of his arm. Hazel eyes seemed lost in the endless blue of sky, wandering between clouds as the quester studied them thoughtlessly. </p><p>Ian shifted a little more, finding one of the many buttons of his brother’s vest to trace while his eyes darted ahead as he pondered quietly to himself. To say that the mage merely blinked and time had moved was merely an understatement. Days had molded into weeks since the events of Springtide, and those weeks into months.</p><p>In means of talking to Laurel, it had gone better than either Lightfoot brother had expected. She’d been in a state of shock over Ian’s face, something he briefly explained was the product of a nasty argument, thus leading into Barley finally opening up about his history with their late father.</p><p>Of course it had been a difficult conversation, but their mother was easily one of the strongest people Ian knew, and once Laurel understood the gravity of her eldest son’s trauma she’d been nothing but supportive. </p><p>Ian could vaguely recall the way she’d reached for Barley’s hand from across the table, doll like eyes glassy yet unwavering as she’d offered a teary smile.</p><p>“So, where do we go from here?” She’d said, and the younger Lightfoot couldn’t help but have that question circle in his own mind as time progressed.</p><p>Through more conversation, it had been their mother who had suggested Barley move back home for a while. It was something the eldest Lightfoot brother was reluctant to do, however, Ian had encouraged him no less.</p><p>One of the first things Barley had done when he’d moved back to New Mushroomton was rid himself of Guinevere. Ian never thought he’d see the day, but when Barley had shown him the truck he’d traded her for- an older model with a square body and a rusted powder blue finish, the mage all but broke down in tears of relief. </p><p>“You mean s-she’s actually gone?” He’d stammered in a desperate attempt to keep his emotions at bay. Barley had merely nodded, eyes trained on his little brother with a sympathetic look as he watched the smaller man hold himself together. </p><p>“Yeah, she’s gone,” he’d assured, a gentle touch to Ian’s shoulder that had broken the dam and left him a sobbing mess in his brother’s arms. </p><p>“Thank you,” were the only words he could mutter after that, face being buried in the larger man’s soft barrel chest as he’d continued to shake with tiny cries. Barley had simply held him, waiting out the tears as he’d suppressed his own. </p><p>One of the second things to transpire, was Laurel pushing for therapy. Yet another thing the older Lightfoot brother had shaken his head in refusal of. Laurel was adamant however, having no room for patience when it came to the well being of her boys. </p><p>Ian could remember the stern look she’d given him the very day they sat her down, eyes of umber glancing towards her youngest before she’d calmly sat back in her chair. </p><p>“Barley, look at your brother’s face,” she’d said firmly, gaze still with a sheen of glass, but hardened irises serious along with her tone, “if this is affecting you that much, then you need to see someone.” With a heavy sigh, Barley had nodded and in the days to follow Laurel had worked eagerly with him to find a suitable means of counseling. </p><p>It was still a difficult feat for the quester, he’d later confess to Ian that accepting therapy had consumed him with guilt. </p><p>“You need this so much more than I do,” Barley had whispered on a night the younger Lightfoot had snuck into his bedroom, voice being muffled by the cotton of Ian shirt while spindly fingers twirled tufts of feathery hair. </p><p>“I don’t think so,” Ian had murmured, holding tightly to the larger elf as he’d ran his hands through soft strands of azure.</p><p>It had taken quite a lot to convince Barley otherwise, one thing being the promise of visiting with the school counselor once a week even if only to discuss his anxiety. Ian had to admit, having a third party to turn to had done wonders to lift some weight from his shoulders. Even Sadalia had taken notice, and even offered to be that third party on days Ian couldn’t force himself to visit guidance. </p><p>“I think having that support is exactly what you needed,” she’d smiled, nudging his arm before her face softened, “but my ringer is always on if you need to confide in someone else.” This alone had made attending school so much easier, and Ian no longer felt the ever looming dread when he’d get ready in the mornings. </p><p>Having his brother to come home to helped a great deal in that aspect. The very thought breaking him from his trance and returning him to the present, attention fixating once more on the man he was currently snuggled against.</p><p>“I don’t mind staying out for a little while longer,” the young sorcerer mumbled. He felt Barley shift under him, the broader elf lifting his head to peer down at the sinewy teen with a small smirk. </p><p>“Can’t stay forever, you’ve got your graduation rehearsal tonight and then tomorrow-” the older Lightfoot pulled the smaller man closer, free hand coming to ruffle the curls atop Ian’s head in a playful manner, “my little brother is gonna be a highschool graduate,” he said proudly.  </p><p>Ian rolled his eyes playfully, pushing away the larger man’s affections and moving to sit up, leaning over and resting a hand atop the broad elf’s chest to support his weight.</p><p>“Hey, let’s not forget you going back to school in the fall,” Ian chirped, staring down at his brother fondly. Yet another development that had transpired in the Lightfoot household, Barley’s decision to return to college. </p><p>The quester offered a sideways grin, tucking an arm behind his head with a lively glimmer of amusement behind his eyes, “yes, the Lightfoot brothers, pursuing a higher means of education and conquering childhood traumas,” Barley joked lightheartedly before laying back against the truck bed. Ian chuckled, a quiet breeze lifting the wisps of his curls in the whisper of wind that brushed against him softly. </p><p>“Yeah, one day at a time,” Ian said with a small laugh. Barley tenses under him, stretching his muscles with a lazy yawn before setting against the cushiony fabric beneath him once more.</p><p>“It’s too bad you’ll be all the way in Willowdale,” the older man muses, “gonna miss all this quality time we’ve been spending together.” Ian swallows at that, stomach coiling with unease at the mention of his university of choice.</p><p>For obvious reasons, he’d been nervous that Barley would be upset with him for choosing Willowdale. He’d been accepted to a few other universities, but something about this one just pulled the mage towards it. He’d coined it on campus and vast array of programs that were offered and even offered such excuses to his brother when showing his acceptance letter.</p><p>Barley had just been enthusiastic about the fact that Ian had reached a decision, not once even batting an eye to the path he’d chosen.</p><p>What Barley didn’t know, was how at night the young wizard still found himself staring into the grainy texture of a familiar polaroid, reminiscing over the memory of warm leather of a hardly worn oxford shoe beneath his palm.</p><p>He really had intended on ridding himself of those photos, whether it be tossing them out or locking them away, but as shameful as he found it to be, he was still infatuated with the man that was Wilden Lightfoot.</p><p>“We’ll still have holidays,” Ian shrugged, toying once more with a faded patch against the larger elf’s decorated vest as he pushed away thoughts of their late father.</p><p>“That we will,” Barley agrees, caramel coated eyes scanning the sorcerer fondly as he brings a hand to rest over top of Ian’s, absentminded rubbing the delicate skin of the younger Lightfoot’s knuckles with the pad of his thumb.</p><p>The soon to be graduate watches mutely as the older Lightfoot’s eyes fall shut with a soft sigh through his nose, body relaxing with the exhale of his breath as silence falls over them.</p><p>In the time that Barley had been home, their relationship as brothers had mended quite a bit. They spent a lot of time in each other’s company, engaging in playful banter and the occasional headlock Laurel would have to pry her youngest out of. Even embarking on what Barley would call, “small quests,” here and there around town just to get out of the house for a while.</p><p>It was refreshing, but in times spent in the company of only each other, they’d stuck to their agreement they’d reached over Springtide and have continued to strictly cuddle. Something that often came as a relief, while other times Ian found himself missing his brother’s affections much more than he’d care to admit. He almost felt lost when Barley would decline his attempts at intimacy, unsure of whether it was because Barley didn’t want him or if he’d done something wrong. However, there were still moments in which passion would get the better of the older man, lines would blur and hands would wander in beneath the gentle fabric of clothing in the quiet hours of night, sometimes even lips would carry across forbidden flesh but sex was almost completely off the table at this point.</p><p>However, in tender moments such as these where it’s just the two of them, and Barley’s hand is against his own, the teen finds himself reeling for desires he had been working on trying to bury.</p><p>“And, you know, it doesn’t matter where we are,” Ian says quietly, chest tightening as he watches his brother through thick lashes, “we’re always gonna have each other.” Barley’s brows quirk at this, rough palm squeezing Ian’s hand gently in a means of comfort.</p><p>Barley had been much more resistant when it came to any physical affections after starting his sessions with a therapist, sometimes even pulling away from the slightest touch, so this little gesture meant a great deal to the young teen.</p><p>“Yeah, always,” Barley mumbles, a slight strain to his voice that sticks in his throat before he starts to relax once more.</p><p>There’s a sense of longing that pulls at the young mage, doe eyes searching the planes of his older brother’s face for a moment as he draws his bottom lip between his teeth thoughtfully.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?” Ian asks, voice timid. Barley’s face pulls into a slight grimace, honey glazed eyes opening to meet deepened umber thoughtfully before Ian feels his heart sink.</p><p>He starts to slink away, moving so he can lay back against the blanket before a calloused hand reaches up to grab the fabric of his shirt at his chest. The mage perks in surprise, heart fleeting as he meets his brother’s gaze once more.</p><p>The older man hesitates, thumbing the fabric he’s pinching tenderly as he ponders, “it may have to be the last one,” he says quietly. The younger Lightfoot feels his chest fall once more, but he nods minutely in understanding.</p><p>“Okay,” Ian whispers, words hardly audible. Barley merely smiles up at him, a lopsided grin and the glimmer of sunlight shining in his eyes as he tugs the lanky teen down by the cotton of his shirt.</p><p>“Well, don’t look so sad there, Iandore,” the older man murmurs. Ian releases a breath through his nose as he returns a smile, pushing past the hurt and instead relishes in his brother’s attention.</p><p>“‘M not sad, I’m just gonna miss this,” he mumbles, laying over Barley’s chest. The quester reaches up, tucking a strand of loose curls behind Ian’s ear before cupping his face lovingly.</p><p>“Yeah, me too,” Barley says longingly. They pause for a moment, eyes bearing into each other before the older Lightfoot leans forward, pulling his brother down gently to meet him.</p><p>At the touch of their lips, Ian felt his heart blossom, warmth spreading to his toes as he melted against the stocky form of his older brother. They move slowly, not daring to part their lips completely in reluctance of letting go. Ian molds their mouths together more deeply and Barley drinks him in like sweet nectar, hand tangling in curly hair as the smaller man’s fist grips tightly in worn denim.</p><p>With a lingering touch, Barley pulls back, allowing one last peck to the supple flesh of his little brother’s bottom lip before his head falls back against the bed of his truck.</p><p>Ian stares back down at him with glittering eyes, a sight that plucks the strings of the questmaster’s heart. He watches as Ian swallows, leaning forward to rest once more against the larger man.</p><p>“I love you, Barley,” the mage whispers as he nuzzles against the older elf. There’s evidence of tears lodged in his throat but those words have Barley melting into a puddle. He turns to bury his nose in the heavy tufts of Ian’s hair, breathing him in and allowing his eyes to fall shut.</p><p>Another breath of summer air lingers, leaving behind a quiet whisper that rustles the trees in the distance.</p><p>“I love you too,”</p>
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